Chapter Fifteen #2
They rolled and explored each other with their mouths, the current between them surging in passionate exchanges of touch and taste as tongues and teeth and shared air coupled in the same spaces.
Then that current ebbed to more gentle waves in the soft and warm meeting of skin on skin.
Tess’s lips moved from eyelids and the curve of jawline to finally descend that throbbing pulse line of heartbeat she detected in Bree’s neck until her destination was reached, the ample cleavage that had almost distracted her into defeat before the not-so-ridiculous-after-all match had brought her to this quivering, moaning state.
Bree captured Tess’s final surrender in her mouth and exhaled it gently into Tess’s ear as she whispered, “I’m going to do something that will not only get us arrested, but will probably make headlines, unless we stop.”
Tess’s lips felt swollen and slightly bruised. Bruised in the best possible way. Thank God it was twilight and visibility was compromised. Bree’s leg had ended up squeezed between her thighs, and Tess could feel her body’s moist assent to being Bree’s partner in crime.
“Are you okay?” Bree smoothed Tess’s hair back, and then her own.
Tess lay on her back and gazed at the barest glimmer of the night’s first stars. “Nobody ever told me arm wrestling could be so much fun. And to think it’s really all in the lips.”
Bree offered her a hand and pulled her up to a sitting position before Bree reached for their dinner.
Tess ate the best lukewarm tacos she’d ever consumed, and she was prepared to swear that it had nothing to do with what they’d just shared.
She hummed in pleasure to let Bree know they met with her approval.
After they finished, they walked down to the water holding hands and let the cold surf wash over their bare feet.
When they’d had enough, they walked back to their blanket, donned their footwear, and packed up.
Then they walked side by side back to Tess’s cottage.
It had been the perfect evening. If Bree wanted to spend the night with her, Tess wasn’t sure what her response would be.
Yes was certainly sitting there at the forefront of her thoughts after that kiss on the beach.
When they reached Tess’s door, Bree said, “I’m not coming in, or I might not be able to leave.”
Well, she wouldn’t have to make any decisions about sleeping with Bree tonight. Bree had made that decision already. Tess massaged her throat to diminish the lump, then dropped her hand and nodded. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t going to be frigging needy.
Bree read her shift in mood. “Tess, my not sleeping with you…there are things I’m trying to figure out.
About myself. I gave myself to my marriage, and then it all went south when I found out that Cora didn’t feel about me the way I felt about her.
It broke something in me at the time. What happened in Tahoe—sex—was supposed to stay in Tahoe.
But it’s become a lot more complicated than that.
I don’t want to hurt you. I’m working hard to heal, to reach a point where I can risk loving someone again.
You’re helping me. Maybe you don’t even know how much you’re helping me, Tess. ”
“I care about you. I haven’t been in your shoes, but I hear what you’re saying.” Tess was pleased that she managed to get that out. That she managed to keep her voice as normal as she did with so much emotion churning inside.
“Please look at me.” Bree shook her head, seemingly in distress too.
“Please look at me.” She repeated the request and paused until Tess looked directly at her.
“I didn’t invite you to dinner with any other intent that spending some time with you because that’s what I wanted.
To spend time with you. I didn’t intend to kiss you, but you’re so fucking kissable. ”
Nobody had ever said that to Tess, and that part felt good. She didn’t hear any deception in Bree’s voice, but the part that still hurt, really hurt, was having Bree choose to walk away once again.
Bree leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “I know it sounds selfish, but it’s not a rejection of you.”
“Now you’re a mind reader?” Tess was caught between a smile and a scowl.
“I know how I’d feel.”
“Like a yo-yo,” Tess replied. Then she laughed, a rather sad laugh. “We sure didn’t leave it in Tahoe, did we?”
Bree looked into her eyes. “I haven’t forgotten Tahoe either.
It would be so much easier if I could.” Bree shook her head, as though she didn’t want to admit what she was going to say next.
“Tahoe meant something to me, even when I didn’t know who you were or where you lived, even when we didn’t stand a chance. I just can’t sleep with you right now.”
“So, tell me this. And be honest.” Tess mustered her courage. “Do we stand a chance at more than friendship?”
“I’m trying to figure that out. I’m starting to hope so.” Then Bree heaved a deep sigh and turned to leave. “It was a wonderful evening. The best.”
Tess nodded back. She was clueless except for how she felt—confused, but not yet ready to slam the door.
Bree had had a very fitful night of sleep.
She’d headed into her morning conference session exhausted and aware that she was full of conflict.
She didn’t want to upset Tess any worse while she figured out her personal life.
She wanted to inform Tess about the official complaints and the confidential role related to her professional life.
She wanted to do whatever would keep Tess safe, but she wasn’t sure what that was.
She was certainly thinking hard about her personal commitment to a relationship ban.
She knew how special Tess was. Their time together was so good and her feelings were deepening.
Cora was taking a position as part of her past, one of life’s lessons in picking a partner.
She needed to figure out how to steer these feelings forward.
It had to be in a way that would never take her down a pathway that repeated the outcome she’d experienced with Cora.
So much was emotionally at stake for both of them.
And ultimately, Bree hoped that she could navigate a course that would offer a chance at a future relationship.
There was no clear path forward, so her four thirty a.m. decision had been to hold her course for now.
She was no longer willing to keep secrets from Tess, secrets about matters that affected Tess’s life.
But the last thing Bree wanted to do was anything that could increase Tess’s chance of being harmed again.
It was almost noon and Bree’s new judge orientation session was finished for the morning, so she headed to a bench outside the lecture room.
She should at least make sure that Tess was okay after last evening and maybe see if dinner in a restaurant was possible, not tonight because there was a mixer for new judges, but maybe later in the week.
She could justify that as a conference dinner with a colleague.
Texting shouldn’t interrupt Tess if she was busy. It might also offer a bit more insulation than a call, and she was too exhausted to navigate an emotional conversation if Tess was upset about how she’d ended what had been a wonderful time on the beach.
Bree: I hope you caught more zzzs than I did last night.
Tess: Trying not to catch them in the presentation this morning. Yawn.
Bree: I’ve got a new judge mixer tonight, but dinner later this week?
Tess: Is that wise when I can’t seem to keep my lips to myself?
Bree chuckled. Tess seemed to be managing how last night had concluded. She was relieved.