Chapter Twenty-four #2
While she waited for Eddie, Tess scrolled on her phone.
She thought about the feeling that had hit her so hard in the parking lot when she’d connected the attacker’s voice to Bree’s description.
When she hadn’t been sure how the attack would end, the jarring impact of deep regret when she’d considered that Bree was no longer in her life.
In her future. She’d let Bree go without even trying to figure out if there was some way to make things work.
She’d told Bree they needed to leave Tahoe in Tahoe.
She’d declared that she was done. She’d convinced Bree that they were done.
Tess looked through her photos and found the whale watching trip. There were the two photos that the older friendly woman had taken on the boat deck. Tess was wearing Bree’s hot pink jacket. In the first one, she and Bree were standing together saying cheese, and then there was the other one.
Tess thought back on that day and the moment of that second photo—Bree intentionally catching the corner of her mouth.
The moment slammed Tess in the chest, causing her heartbeat to rise into her throat, and she struggled to swallow.
She wasn’t one for epiphanies, but the truth was staring her in the face, and she could no longer deny it, not even to protect herself.
Falling in love. It was sort of like tripping and skinning her knee—at least the first time she’d flirted with and failed at love. Pain for a few days, a scab for a long week, and then the minor scar of a memory that she carried even today. All part of maturing. But this was different.
This was not simply a scrape with love. She’d jumped from a plane without a parachute. Free fall with no control. The exhilaration of pulse-pounding amour, the roar of the rush of an upward draft in the face of her descent toward a landing she might not survive.
Or maybe, just maybe, this would be the time love took her by the lapels, turned them into wings, and she soared off into the sunset.
She couldn’t have stopped it, even if she’d wanted to—but she wanted to lean into it.
She wanted to dive into that fall. A fall that could result in a terrible crash…
or just might finally fill that hole in her heart. And let her fly.
Tess tucked her phone away and thought about Flo’s advice. But if there could be love involved, then it will matter what Bree wants too. Tess knew what she needed to do, and it terrified her because she absolutely didn’t take that kind of gamble with her heart.
Eddie returned with two coffees and a box full of doughnuts. Tess decided that she needed to let her admission of how she felt about Bree settle. “Thanks for bringing me here, Eddie.”
“They don’t call it the Delicious Dozen for nothing,” he said, handing her back some change.
Tess smiled when he lifted the lid and there were twelve options in front of her. She chose a powdered sugar one and took a bite. “Perfect dinner after getting the heck knocked out of myself.”
“So, what’s your story, Judge?”
“I’ve now got two felines, Thelma and Louise. They’re one consequence of facing mortality a while back. I’m now a proud cat lady.”
“Mm-hmm. It sounds like there’s more to your story. Someone?”
Tess hesitated, then nodded. “It’s complicated. But I think tonight’s events might have included a kick in the backside. Let’s just say my story isn’t finished.” Her revelation belonged in a discussion between Bree and herself.
Eddie nodded as he swallowed the last bite of his glazed doughnut, took a long sip of his coffee, and then reached for another doughnut. He locked his gaze on Tess.
“I was a decorated firefighter. I crashed and burned after the loss of my wife and little girl. I’m not going to get into the gory details, but I was the one who blew it.
If you’re going to thank me for anything tonight, pay me back by listening to me.
If you have a chance at love, take it. Love—it’s the most valuable thing we can give or receive.
You might win, or you might lose, but you owe yourself the chance to see if it will work.
Bottom line, Judge…don’t be a dumbass. Risk it. ”
Risk it.
After Tess had dropped Eddie off at his buddy’s house with the remainder of the box of doughnuts under his arm and her deepest thanks, she headed home to feed the cats, who would undoubtedly display a fair amount of cattitude because it was approaching eleven o’clock.
They had dry food, but she’d be facing their wrath for being a negligent human.
A little added tuna on some paté would likely fix things with them.
She wasn’t sure what it would take to fix things with Bree. More than a can of tuna.
As predicted, Thelma and Louise were a display of aggrieved ecstasy when Tess walked in her front door. She took care of them, and then she headed to the shower.
Stripped naked except for the plastic bag that protected her hand, Tess stood in the closed space under the hot water and gave herself permission to be flooded with the feelings she’d done her best to keep at bay after the assault a few hours ago.
That bastard had brought a knife, and she was positive she had been targeted because she’d started asking for information as the presiding judge, doing her job.
But who was behind her attacker’s actions and why?
It sounded like the police chief planned to find out.
Her tears mixed with the water as she attempted to wash the day’s grime down the drain—not only the actual grime, but the figurative too.
The tears were probably more cleansing than the stream from the showerhead, and when she’d finished with those, she turned to the bigger matter she needed to address, the verdict she’d so unequivocally reached in that doughnut shop.
She was falling in love with Bree.
As Tess dried herself in front of the mirror, she skimmed the rough area on her chest. She touched it with her left hand, the one wrapped in a bandage that represented a second close call with mortality.
The hole in her heart lay beneath. She knew what would fill it, but she also knew what would shatter her.
Did she have the guts to tell Bree how she felt?
The willingness to live with the wreckage if the answer was not the outcome she desired?
Finally admitting love was involved left Tess confronting the full weight of what she needed to face—heaven or hell.