Chapter 31 Official
thirty-one
Official
*LORI*
Despite the drama I was unfortunately the center of, the party proceeds, and soon everyone is chatting and joking around again. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, challenging Isla, but she just riled me. The audacity of her to talk to Benji the way she did.
To my utmost surprise, no one here seems to mind my past, and it looks like me, fighting back against Isla, has earned me some kudos with Nova’s friends.
My biggest worry is that I might have upset Benji, though. I was so possessive and clearly claimed him as mine. I just hope he doesn’t mind. I don’t want to lose him. He is the perfect guy, so respectful and supportive. I don’t think I would survive his rejection.
“I am sorry I didn’t react faster,” Benji tells me as we step away from the others for a bit. “I should have protected you.”
“From Isla?” I ask. “I was actually happy I could smack her.”
“That was amazing,” he says with a bright smile.
“So, you are not angry?” I ask.
He seems to be taken aback. “Why would I be?”
“I kind of ruined the party,” I admit quietly. “And I was too possessive.”
“You were amazing,” he exclaims. “Everyone here agrees!”
“And you, what do you think?”
“That I am so lucky to have met my mate, and that it’s you,” he says, his cheeks flushing slightly. “I really messed up with my first mate. I told myself I was protecting her, but fact is, I was shit. Then Isla happened, and I paid for my past mistakes. I can’t even hold it against her.”
I do, though. Maybe Benjamin wasn’t a great person in his old pack. However, I only know him now, and this Benjamin is honest, supportive, a touch shy and insecure, but also kind. He hasn’t lied to me once, and instead, openly told me his whole story. Even the ugly parts.
Isla was just out for rank and thought him beneath her. I bet it annoys her that he is going to become gamma now.
“And then I met you,” he continues. “And I think it was truly a gift from the goddess. Like she is rewarding me for something. I don’t feel I deserve you, but you are everything.”
“I wish you wouldn’t see yourself so lowly,” I say quietly, my heart hurting at the way he views himself and constantly saying how little he deserves, and how any insult he receives is understandable because of who he is.
We sit down on the grass, a bit further away from the party. The stars are sparkling in the night sky, and it’s truly a mesmerizing view.
“I don’t drink,” I say. “Because I lost my virginity when I was drunk. I was fourteen, it was my birthday. You know, I shared it with Elijah, my former alpha’s son, and I was invited to his party.
His future beta was there, and he paid so much attention to me.
I drank, and drank, because he spurred me on.
I craved attention so much that I didn’t have it in me to say no to anything.
My memory is blurred, but I remember him taking me to a room and sleeping with me.
I didn’t feel ready, but I was too drunk to put up a fight, and he didn’t notice. ”
Benji stays quiet for a while, then- “Fuck that asshole,” he growls. “He knew what he was doing!”
“They took photos,” I continue. “And Elijah threatened to spread them around, and said that I lured the future beta into bed. I was so scared that I did everything he wanted me to. He made me sleep with his rivals and help to destroy relationships like that.”
“Lori,” Benjamin takes my hand. “He used you. He knew what he was doing. He… he planned it.”
“What?” I stare at him. “No, I don’t think… I mean, Chris and Elijah…” I pause, remembering how even Ava was nice to me that evening, and how they made sure I had plenty to drink. And how they all appeared in the room after my night with Chris.
I feel my eyes fill with tears.
Benji pulls me into a hug. “I am so sorry,” he says sadly. “I am so sorry this happened to you. You are not to blame, not even a bit. What they did was despicable, and I will make sure they pay for it in one way or another!”
He says more, but I can’t hear what he is saying; my own sobs deafen me to every other noise.
Benjamin keeps me in his arms, cradling me like I am a little kid, and it’s the most comforting feeling ever.
I cling to him like my life depends on it.
I don’t even care if it’s gross or embarrassing, I just want to feel safe. No one has held me like this before.
Benji doesn’t let go and keeps me in his arms until I have calmed down. The moment I feel my senses coming back, I am hit with a flash of shame and guilt. I just cried on him and told him everything from my past. Well, not all the details, but enough for him to feel grossed out.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” he says quietly. “I am not sure if I am deserving of your trust. But I… want you to know that I never assaulted anyone. The warriors in my old pack often invited me to their gross parties, but I always found an excuse. I… I never crossed that line.”
I take his face between my hands. “You need to stop looking down on yourself,” I say, leaning my forehead against his. “Please stop doing that. I think you are kind, strong, and so respectful.”
“That advice goes right back to you,” he chastises.
“Are you really accepting me as your mate?” I ask. “With my messed-up backstory and all? I know you keep saying I was a victim, but I feel so guilty and gross. Are you really ready for all my emotional baggage?”
Benjamin takes my hands into his and looks me in the eye. “I, Benjamin Morris, with all my awful history and while still feeling undeserving, accept you, Dolores-“
“Ward,” I say breathlessly, not able to grasp that he is truly about to accept me.
“Dolores Ward, as my mate.”
“I, Dolores Ward, with all my baggage and guilt, accept you, Benjamin Morris, as my mate.”
Benjamin stares at me wide-eyed. “We just did it!” he beams. “I have a mate, and she accepted me!”
“I was about to say the same,” I chuckle. “We both know how to do the self-pity part, though,” I add.
Benji grins. “We really fit well.”
We both lay down in the grass. Instead of lying next to him, I mirror his position and stretch out opposite to him, only resting my head next to his. “I am sorry for not being ready to mate yet.”
“Don’t worry,” he reassures me. “I don’t mind going slow. Do you mind that I have zero experience?”
“Not at all,” I hurry to reassure him. “Do you mind that I have?”
“No, I couldn’t care less.”
“To be honest, I don’t feel like I know much about sex,” I admit. “I only ever did what others wanted me to do. I have no idea what I want for myself.”
“Don’t worry, we will work on this,” he says, turning his head to look at me.
Goddess, he truly accepted me. I still can’t believe it. But I can feel the bond so much stronger now. Once he marks me, it will be even more intense.
I stretch out my hand to touch his cheek before leaning forward to kiss him. It feels awkward to kiss someone upside down, but Benji’s lips feel soft and warm. It’s the best kiss I’ve ever had.
Benji and I went from awkwardly kissing each other to fully making out, with me lying in his arms and snuggled against him. I feel silly but good. Like I am a teen again, but this is how I should have felt back then, and how the guys Elijah made me sleep with should have treated me.
This is what I missed, but I have it now.
Eventually, though, we hear voices coming closer and reluctantly draw apart. “Here you are,” Kitty says, handing a bottle of beer to Benji and some soda to me.
Nova follows her with something to eat. “Are you two okay?” she asks, clearly worried.
“We are fine,” I tell her.
“More than fine,” Benji adds.
“Has Isla left?” I want to know.
“Yes, I made sure to get her ass home,” Nova mutters. “Benji, I need to ask you something… Isla was your mate, wasn’t she?”
“Yes, I am sorry I didn’t tell you,” Benji says. “I was just…you know… she didn’t want me and rejected me.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” she soothes him. “I get it. I just can’t believe she would do something like that. She is one of my pack members. I am truly sorry she treated you like that. And you, too, Lori. She said and did some awful things tonight.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “It’s not your fault. Thank you for standing up for me. It means a lot to me, especially considering my past. You know about it, don’t you?”
“Yes, because Cass worked together with the alpha who rescued you, but I don’t know any details,” Nova says. “Rest assured that I don’t give a shit about any rumors.”
“That’s my worst fear,” I admit quietly. “That people will dig my past up, and it will ruin my life once again.”
“I won’t let that happen,” Benji tells me. “Besides, Sunset Hills accepts you fully. Hell, they accepted me, and I did so many vile things. You, however, they instantly loved.”
“I mean, you build houses,” Kitty adds. “Of course, they find you awesome.”
“You are all way too kind,” I say quietly.
“Lori, should we really let Isla get away with her stunt?” Nova asks. “It doesn’t sit right with me.”
“I know,” I admit. “It’s just… I am new here, and people will judge me. I would like not to be judged for additional drama.”
“I understand that,” Nova says. “I need to tell Cass, but will ask him to keep this incident on the down-low. I will keep an eye on her, mind you.”
“Really, what is she thinking?” Kitty mutters. “Rejecting her mate. I would never do that, unless he was a truly terrible person.”
“Me neither, although I am not too excited to meet my mate,” Nova admits.
“Really?” Benji asks. I am surprised, too. During our drive to the party, she sounded much more eager to meet her mate. “Why, Nova?”
“Because so much for me is at stake,” she admits. “I love my pack and my work. I know Cass wants me as his beta, but neither of us can commit to the task because so much depends on my mate.”
“But why do you need to adapt to your mate?” Benji asks. “He could do that too, you know.”
“What if it’s an alpha?” Nova asks.
We are quiet. “Yeah, that would be a problem,” Kitty admits.
“That doesn’t mean I would reject him if he were,” Nova explains. “But I’d lie if I said I would be overly excited and happy.”
“I am sure you will find a great mate,” Benji tells her. “You deserve it. And even when he might be an alpha’s son, it doesn’t mean he will want that position.” He pauses. “Take that from an alpha’s son.”
“You never wanted to take the rank?” I ask.
He shrugs. “My father was so vile; I was mostly in survival mode. Most of the time, I just wished I could be gone from the pack. That’s not an alpha mentality to have. I should have had more fighting spirit.”
“But you have fighting spirit,” Nova argues.
“I agree.” I take his hand. “You constantly want to protect others. In your old pack, you couldn’t do that, but now you can. Maybe you weren’t born to become alpha, but gamma!”
“Listen to your smart mate,” Kitty says. “Think of all the options you have now.”
“That’s true.” Benji tilts his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I could help so much.”
“Well, then, want to rejoin the party?” Kitty asks.
Benji and I exchange a gaze and nod. “Let’s head back to the others.”
The rest of the night goes smoothly. Everyone is still very kind and welcoming to me, and I find myself feeling so much closer to Benji.
Once most guests have left, we help with cleaning everything up together with Anton, Jonah and Kitty.
To my joy, Benji seems to be getting along with the two guys, and they even exchange numbers.
It’s silly, but it means so much to me that he doesn’t discriminate against Jonah for being a hybrid.
Once we are done, Jonah and Anton take off, while Nova offers to drive us home.
“Is it really okay?” Benji asks. “We can take a taxi.”
“Or an Uber,” I add.
At that, both Kitty and Nova burst into laughter. “Bless your innocence,” Kitty giggles.
“Good luck trying to find a taxi here or getting an Uber,” Nova chuckles. “Now, don’t be shy. I picked you up, and I will take you home.”
“Next thing you know, they will offer to go on foot,” Kitty chuckles.
I wisely decide not to say anything, because she isn’t wrong.
I was about to suggest that Benji and I could take a walk.
I squeeze my mate’s hand before we get into the car.
Just like me, Nova didn’t drink. This reminds me that I really should get my license.
Maybe it’s something I can discuss with the alpha.
The sun is rising when we pass the borders of Sunset Hills, dipping the whole pack into a warm orange light. It’s truly beautiful and proof of where the pack’s name comes from.
“It’s moments like these,” Nova says quietly. “That I really am so glad to live in this area. I know most people prefer the big city life, but I just enjoy this here.”
“I enjoy both,” Kitty admits. “I love going clubbing in the city, but I also enjoy the quiet, peaceful nights in our pack.”
When I gaze out of the window, I notice that Lord Silas is already up, too, talking to a couple of people.
He and the alpha truly seem to be busy recently.
It’s when Nova halts the car, and we open the door, that I see her body stiffening.
To my surprise, she opens her door, too, slowly getting out of the car. “Do you smell that?” Nova mutters.
“Smell what?” Kitty asks.
“Jasmine and oranges.” She pauses, turning around to stare at the group that stands around Silas. “Who are they?”
“These are Silas’ brothers and friends,” Benji explains. “Durant and Alex on the left are his brothers. The other guy is called Julianus, I think.”
I can’t believe it,” she whispers.