Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
W hen Warren hadn’t called by Friday afternoon, Anna caved and sent him a message asking how he was. She supposed she should have been pleased that he replied so quickly, but the message didn’t exactly fill her with joy. He said he was fine, but was busy with work.
Did you speak to Lewis? she typed, wondering whether the conversation would be better as a call.
Yeah. I’ll tell you about it when I see you.
When will that be? she asked, hating that she sounded desperate when his messages were definitely on the cool side.
I don’t think I’ll have a night off until the New Year. Sorry.
She waited, but that was all she got, and she wasn’t at all sure how to respond.
Briefly, she contemplated calling Lewis to ask exactly how the conversation had gone between the two of them. She really didn’t want to bring Lewis into it though, especially since she knew what he’d have said – that he was fine with it.
There was no way he’d say otherwise.
To distract herself, she nipped out to finish her Christmas shopping, then took an inventory of her stock to make sure she had everything she needed for the wreath-making workshop at the hotel the following day.
That would involve seeing Warren and given his messages she wasn’t at all sure how to feel about that.
She focused on the workshop itself. But that got her thinking about speaking in front of a room full of people, which sent her anxiety levels through the roof.
To calm her nerves, she mentally rehearsed her talk about the history of wreaths. Not that she needed to practice it – she knew it by heart. If anything, going over it only intensified her nerves.
By the time she got into bed, she was too worked up about it to fall asleep.
Tiredness had her moving on autopilot the following morning. The stress of the workshop combined with Warren’s sudden coolness felt like too much.
By the time she walked into the hotel carrying a box of supplies, she was on high alert for any sign of him. Her eyes darted all around the reception and lounge area, then she scanned the dining room when she set the box down on one of the tables, which had already been arranged in a U-shape.
“I’m supposed to help you carry stuff,” Kate, one of the waitresses, said as she approached Anna. “Have you got much more to bring in?”
“Quite a bit.” Anna’s gaze flicked to the kitchen doors, wondering if he’d come out and say hello or if he’d stay out of the way while she was there.
“Should I get someone else to help us?” Kate asked, leading the way back through the hotel.
“I think we’ll manage,” Anna replied. “Is Lewis here?”
“Yes. In the office. He said he had a few things to deal with but would come and see you when he’s finished.”
“Right.” She supposed it was good that her brother had got better at delegating tasks around the hotel, but she’d have felt better if he’d been there to help her unload and get everything set up.
There was still no sign of him when they’d carried everything inside. Warren hadn’t appeared either. It frustrated her to think that there was only a wall between them and he hadn’t even bothered to come out and say hello.
Stopping to take a breath, she cursed herself. Because she also hadn’t made any effort to say hello to him. She had the excuse of being stressed about the workshop, at least.
“Hello!” A well-dressed middle-aged woman appeared in front of Anna. Her perfume pervaded the air and made Anna’s nose twitch.
“Hi,” Anna said nervously. “Are you here for the wreath-making?”
“Yes.” She plucked a fir twig from the table, holding it under her nose and inhaling deeply. “I’m very excited. I’ve never made a wreath before.”
“I’m just finishing setting up,” Anna said. “We’ll get started in about ten minutes. You’re welcome to get a drink while you wait.”
“I’ll do that,” the woman said before wandering over to the bar.
Steadily, the room filled up. Anna’s nerves intensified at a rate that correlated with the increase of people in the room.
“It looks as though I’m in the right place for wreath-making,” an elderly lady remarked, hovering in front of Anna and eyeing the selection of fir twigs, holly leaves and baubles on the table.
“Yes,” Anna mumbled, feeling suddenly breathless. “If you could just excuse me for a minute. I just need to do something…”
With an insincere smile, she backed away and crossed the room while carefully avoiding making eye contact with anyone. Her lungs felt as though they weren’t taking in enough oxygen as she walked along the corridor to Lewis’s office.
She didn’t bother knocking, but flung the door open. “You’re going to have to say I’m ill or something,” she announced, then tried not to react when her eyes landed on Warren, sitting on the couch at the side of the room, leaning back with one ankle propped on the opposite knee.
“What’s wrong?” Lewis asked, leaning forward onto his desk.
“I can’t do it. I don’t know why I let you talk me into it again. Last year I didn’t want to do it, and you just bullied me into it. I shouldn’t have agreed to do it again this year.”
“I don’t understand.” Lewis tucked his chin. “You said you were happy to do it since it went so well last year.”
“Well I shouldn’t have!” She could hear just how irrational she sounded, but her heart was beating irregularly, and she felt lightheaded. “I’m terrible at this stuff, and I should have known better than to agree to it. Tell them I’m ill or something.”
Lewis rose slowly out of his chair, raising his hands as though dealing with a wild animal. “It’s supposed to start in a few minutes. Everyone will be waiting.”
“You’re just going to have to deal with that.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Warren shifting in his seat.
“Maybe you just need a few minutes,” he said.
“And maybe you should keep out of it,” she shouted without looking at him. “I’m sorry,” she said to Lewis, before turning on her heel and making a dash for it.
On the street outside the front door, she dragged a hand over her face, then wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed at her upper arms as she inhaled the freezing air.
“Anna.” Warren’s voice was quiet but firm behind her.
“I can’t do it,” she said, spinning around and casting him a frosty glare. “And I really can’t deal with you at the moment. ”
“I’m sorry you’re annoyed with me.”
She pressed her lips together. “I just said I can’t deal with you now.”
“Forget about me then. Let’s talk about the people waiting for you to teach them how to make wreaths.”
“I can’t,” she repeated, pacing the pavement in front of the hotel. “I should never have agreed to it.”
“The other workshops you did went fine, remember?”
“I remember.” She stopped and stretched her neck, gazing up at the hazy clouds, which threatened snow.
“But that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly cured of my nerves.
This stuff will always make me nervous. I don’t think that’s ever going to change, so I should accept that and stop agreeing to do these events. ”
He stepped in front of her, close enough that his scent filled her nostrils. “You don’t need to stop being nervous about these things. Being nervous is probably what makes you so good at it.”
“I don’t want to do it. I feel sick.”
“Once you get in there, you won’t feel sick any more.
As soon as you stand in front of those people, you’ll be fine.
Because they’re not there to listen to some over-confident person talk about wreaths.
They want to listen to someone who knows what they’re talking about and who’s passionate about it.
” He tilted his head. “And mostly they want to have a fun morning making wreaths. You’re the perfect person for this job – nerves and all. ”
She sucked in a deep breath, not sure whether it was his proximity or his words that were having the calming effect.
“Maybe I can do it,” she said.
“You definitely can.”
“You’re pretty good at pep talks.”
“Yeah?” He smiled shyly. “Do you feel better?”
“A bit.”
“Maybe we can improve on that.” He dipped his head and caught her lips in a kiss that sent her stomach free falling. “Better?” he asked, his breath sweeping tantalisingly over her lips.
“I think you could have skipped the pep talk and just done that,” she said, as her nerves faded into the background.
“Anna?” Lewis called from the hotel doorway.
“I’m coming.”
“Are you okay?” Lewis asked, concern etched on his features as Anna strode past him.
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just freaked out a bit.
” She was vaguely aware of him following her as she hurried through the hotel and into the restaurant, where the guests were waiting for her.
Without stopping to think about it, she moved to the centre of the room and called hello to get everyone’s attention.
Then she welcomed them and launched into an overview of what the morning would entail.
She was partway through her spiel about the history of wreaths when she glanced towards the bar and spotted Warren perched on a stool. His slow smile made her stomach flutter.
Knowing that her cheeks had just flared bright red, she stumbled over her words for a moment, then took a deep breath and found her stride again.
The next two hours flew by. At the end of it, she was completely embarrassed by her earlier outburst. With hindsight, the nerves made no sense, and she couldn’t understand why she’d freaked out so much. She supposed her turmoil over Warren had also added to her frazzled state.
He’d disappeared after the introduction of the workshop, and she hadn’t seen him since. Presumably, he was in the kitchen since the wait staff had been busy taking trays of food to the lounge for the guests to enjoy after the workshop.
After packing everything up and saying farewell to the stragglers of the group, she ventured over to peer in the window of the kitchen door. She frowned at the sight of Warren at the back of the kitchen, working with Ivy’s little girl beside him .
After making it all the way across the kitchen without them noticing, she was right beside them and listening to them chatter about the ingredients when Warren whipped his head to her.
“Don’t sneak up on us. We’re already panicking about the health inspector catching us. I was just telling Poppy that if someone official looking comes in, she has to lie about her age and pretend that she’s officially employed here.”
“I have to say I’m sixteen,” Poppy said, giggling. “And my name is Sue the chef.”
“Not Sue the chef!” Warren’s eyes lit with delight. “ The sous chef. It’s a type of chef. I’m the head chef and you’re my sous chef.”
Poppy looked confused, and Warren ruffled her hair in amusement. “Never mind. From now on you’ll be Sue the chef.”
Anna smiled lightly. “I’m not sure you’ll pass for sixteen.”
“We have a backup plan,” Warren said.
Poppy cracked another egg into the bowl. “We’ll give them lots of cookies and ask them not to tell anyone.”
“Bribery seems like a more realistic plan.” Anna eyed the mixture as Warren nudged Poppy to turn on the mixer.
“How was the workshop?” he asked over the noise of it.
“It went really well.”
He nodded. “It seemed like it from what I saw.”
“Thank you for the pep talk.”
“You’re welcome. I think you’d have been fine without the pep talk, though.”
Her stomach fluttered as she thought of the way he’d kissed her. After spending the last few days wondering where the heck she stood with him, the kiss had been reassuring.
“Do you have time to grab lunch with me once you’ve finished your baking?” she asked quietly.
The uncertainty in his eyes quashed any reassurance she’d previously felt .
“I said I’d take Poppy out to the shops quickly when we’re done here. She wants to choose a Christmas present for Ivy.”
“I’m going to surprise Mummy with it,” Poppy said.
“She’ll love that.” It crossed Anna’s mind to say she could tag along with them, but hesitated, hoping Warren might suggest it.
“After that, I’ll be busy here again,” he said.
“Okay.” If that hadn’t felt like enough of a brush off, he then turned his back on her to help Poppy move the cookie dough onto the work surface.
“Warren?” Anna said when it seemed he was intent on pretending she wasn’t there.
“Yeah?”
“I’m confused. I don’t know what’s going on in your head.”
The twitch of his cheek told her he didn’t want to have this conversation.
“Can you roll it out?” he said to Poppy before taking a few steps away with Anna. “I’m just busy with work at the moment. Next week should be quieter.”
“And when work is quieter, will you want to spend time with me? It’s hard to tell.”
“Yes,” he said with a weariness that made her feel as though she was some kind of nuisance.
“Why do you sound as though you’d rather not? No one is forcing you – I only want to know if you’d like to.”
“I want to see you, but I need to speak to you properly, and things are going to be crazy here over the next few days.”
“And you can’t even find an hour to grab a coffee?” She glanced pointedly at Ivy. “It seems as though if there’s something you really want to do, you’ll find time for it.”
He squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I promised Poppy ages ago.”
“And that’s really nice of you,” she said, but the bitterness was clear in her tone. “Why don’t we just leave things for now, and when you figure out if you want to make time for me, we can talk again. For now, I won’t hold my breath for that date you said you were going to take me on.”
Ignoring the lump that formed in her throat, she gave Poppy a quick squeeze while she continued to roll out the dough. “I hope Santa brings you everything you want,” she told her, then gritted her teeth as she wished Warren a Happy Christmas.
“Anna!” he called, but sounded half-hearted, as though he didn’t have anything more to say even if she turned back.
Which she had no intention of doing.