Chapter Two #3
But part of her really had thought that she’d driven off into the unmarked part of the mountains, where it was entirely possible that she would have been lost forever.
People off in more civilized places couldn’t possibly understand what the true Montana wilderness was really like. They drove through the national parks on paved roads and marveled at the views and never left the safety of their vehicles to test themselves against the true splendor of the West.
Much less the other side of that splendor, which was its majestic power, and all the many ways it could kill… everything.
Ramona let her grip on the steering wheel relax a bit, because feeling small in Montana made her happy.
It was why she moved here. And some part of her thought that was why she could pull off drives like this—but she was still ecstatic that she’d made it to the ranch.
She blew out a long, shuddering sort of breath as she turned in at the sign.
She accepted the fact that she really hadn’t thought she was going to make it, shuddered, and let it go.
Because now, even if she spun off into a ditch, she would be on Carey property. If absolutely necessary, she could walk to safety. And if for some reason she couldn’t make it out of the vehicle, she knew one of the Careys would find her.
It was amazing what a difference that made. On a physical level inside of her.
That was one more thing she was never going to admit to any Montana natives, no matter how much she liked feeling small here.
The road into the ranch was piled high with snow, but it was easier to find her way because the drive was cut through the overhanging trees and there were no cliffs on either side.
This meant she could inch along until she got the first gap in the trees on the right side, which she knew was the way to Knox’s house.
And then, after she bumped that way a while, careful to stay between the lines of forest on both sides all heavy with snow, she saw lights.
This was the best yet because she knew they would lead straight up to that house of his.
It was a kind of modern farmhouse, though he’d stepped back on the black shutter thing that seemed to be ubiquitous these days.
Ramona knew perfectly well that it was a beautiful house, objectively speaking.
Not everyone could live in a haunted house.
She might consider Knox’s farmhouse a little bit soulless, personally, but that’s what he liked.
Or that’s what he claimed to like.
Because Knox Carey was charming. Everyone agreed. But at the first hint of anything like a feeling?
He was gone.
Ramona felt this was reflected in the house he’d built here and lived in like it was a hotel.
“None of that is your business,” she muttered to herself as she drew near. “And none of it matters tonight anyway.”
She pulled up as close to his porch as she could. And turned off the truck, then took a moment to collect herself, because she was pretty sure that drive would feature prominently in her nightmares for some time. But that time was not now. Now she had to get her doctor game face on.
Ramona grabbed her medical bag and the backpack she’d stuffed full of infant supplies, then climbed out of the truck, not surprised to find herself in snow up to her thighs.
She waded through it—inelegantly—and then fought her way up onto the porch where she stamped her feet. Loudly. Trying to knock the snow off, but also alerting Knox that she had arrived.
By the time she made it to the front door, it was opening.
Then she had to stop and stare, as always, because she was here to do her doctor thing but she was only a girl. Especially around him.
Knox filled the doorway, and it wasn’t fair. He wasn’t fair, on any level.
His dark hair was a mess, but that in no way detracted from the painfully masculine beauty of his face. He was far too good-looking. That had always been true.
Tonight he looked a little bit frazzled, but, of course, he made that kind of hot.
His eyes looked sleepy and they were that bright golden color that told her he was feeling things, which he never liked.
He had an impossible jaw line that was covered in stubble this late, and she knew exactly how it felt to take that face of his in her hands and kiss his mouth until she felt dizzy.
He was also bare chested, which would normally send very different signals. Since he was all hard planes and ridges of abdominal muscles, and favored battered jeans that rode low on his hips, and usually had a particular heat in his gaze when he answered the door like that.
Ramona had spent a lot of time bemoaning the fact that any man could look this good.
But tonight he was also cradling a tiny, chubby baby in his arms, which did damage to her in ways she wasn’t sure she was going to recover from. Possibly ever. Because she’d dreamed about moments like this. Knox and a baby.
She’d learned better than to let those dreams linger and now here they were—
When she stood there and stared, he scowled at her.
“I don’t want her to catch a chill,” he told her gruffly.
Ramona stamped her way inside, closed the door behind her, and tried to get her bearings.
Normally when she arrived on his doorstep, he met her at the door—but not like this. It was usually a fight or a surrender, or both, and they usually ended up naked. Sometimes right there on the floor in what was essentially his foyer in all this open space he liked.
She couldn’t say she was proud of that, but it was in the past.
And everything was different tonight, obviously.
You need to get your head in the game, she told herself, the way her grandpa would have.
Ramona put down her supplies and then set about stripping off her outer layers.
It was always a production. She pulled off her boots and her cold weather gear, then placed it neatly on the bench next to the door that existed for exactly that purpose.
She hung her coat on one of the pegs on the wall, and tugged off her hat and scarf and shoved them into one sleeve.
When she turned back around to face him, he was watching her much too closely.
She pretended she didn’t notice.
“Let’s see what we’re dealing with here with this little sweetheart,” Ramona said, in her best clinical voice.
She motioned for him to follow her as she marched herself into his kitchen, where she knew his counters would be clean and gleaming. They were. She set her medical bag on one end, and then held out her hands.
Something inside of her seemed to shift precipitously when Knox looked alarmed. And reluctant. Like he didn’t want to let go of the child.
“I’m not going to hurt her,” Ramona assured him, though her throat was suddenly tight. “I need to examine her.”
“Right, of course,” he muttered.
But it still seemed to take him a minute to pull the baby off his chest and let Ramona take her from him.
She cuddled the baby close and cooed at her, tracking the baby’s responses.
Ramona held her close as she moved over to the drawer where she knew Knox kept kitchen towels that were happily oversized and always clean, and she spread a couple of them out over the cold counter.
Then she set the baby down on them, murmuring to the little girl as she did it.
Then she conducted a full exam, culminating in a diaper change. When she was done, she put the baby on her hip and prepared a bottle, noting how greedy the little girl seemed when she started to suck it down.
Only then did she allow herself to pay closer attention to Knox, who had shrugged into a T-shirt at some point and was watching her intently.
“She seems perfectly healthy, even happy,” Ramona told him, smiling because babies always made her smile. She remembered who she was talking to and dialed it back. “It’s a miracle. Do you know how long she was left outside?”
“I don’t think it could have been long,” Knox said, frowning. “I could still see footsteps in the snow, but you saw how hard it was coming down. Tracks can’t have lasted long out there.”
“Well, she came through her ordeal like a champ,” Ramona said. She looked up at him, and it was a fight to keep her voice cool, but she managed it. Somehow, she managed it. “Have you given any thought to who might have left her here?”
“A maniac?” he retorted.
“You haven’t really thought this through, have you?
” Ramona asked, and again, it was painful to keep her voice calm.
But a suspicion had taken her over while she was examining the child and she couldn’t let it go.
“There’s only one reason that someone would leave a baby here, don’t you think? One very obvious reason.”
Knox looked at her like she was speaking in tongues. “I can’t think of any reason that someone would leave a baby here.”
“That’s actually my point.” Ramona said this quietly, because her heart was doing wild things in her chest and she wasn’t sure she was breathing, either.
“There are all kinds of reasons that women abandon their babies, and they’re usually very sad.
Still, normally, they do it in places where they know the baby will be found and cared for.
Hospitals. Police stations. Firehouses. Why would anyone drive up here in this kind of weather?
I’ll tell you, it was pretty horrific out there. ”
He stared back at her, something like a scowl on his face, as he braced himself against the counter across from her. “I don’t know where you’re going with this.”
“Why would a woman drive up and leave her baby on the doorstep of a man who has exhibited no sign whatsoever, ever as far as I know, of being capable of or interested in taking care of a child?” She didn’t keep that as calm as she should have. “Take a wild guess, Knox.”
“Just because I’ve never taken care of a child doesn’t mean that I’d be incapable of it,” he shot back.
Like that was the point of this.
“You’re not exactly known as the Mr. Rogers of Cowboy Point, are you?” She shook her head at him, aware that there was something trembling deep inside of her. Maybe a scream. Maybe, worse, a sob. “So why would someone do this?”
“It seems pretty clear to me you have an answer to that, Ramona.” His gaze was gold and hot and clearly furious. “So why don’t you just tell me.”
She made herself smile, professionally.
Even though it hurt.
“I think it’s pretty clear all on its own,” she said.
“Not to me,” he shot back. “But by all means, keep being cryptic in the middle of the night with an abandoned, motherless baby in your arms. That feels like the right path to take.”
Ramona looked down at the little girl, whose eyes were closed as she busily sucked on her bottle.
Then she looked back at this man who had ruined her life in too many ways to count—or maybe she’d ruined it herself, because of him, but the end result was still the same—and wished just for one moment he couldn’t be quite so tragically beautiful.
But this was the price of that beauty, wasn’t it? Babies on doorsteps and a sea of broken hearts.
Not to mention all that bright gold heat in his gaze when he was busy showing her, once again, that she was the only person alive in all the world that he was not charming for.
She’d thought that meant something too. Now she suspected it was just that he was an asshole, and surely tonight proved that beyond any shadow of a doubt.
“I didn’t realize it would be hard to follow,” she told him, and kept that smile on her face because she could be an asshole too. “Come on, Knox. She’s obviously yours.”