Chapter 14
Thanatos x Lexa
Lexa checked the map one more time.
She was terrible with directions, and she might have accused Thanatos of not even knowing her, but the map he had left her was not traditional. It was hand-drawn and had instructions in Thanatos’s small, careful handwriting.
When you leave your house, turn right. Take twenty steps (yes, I accounted for your stride). You will come to the final house on the right. Go right. Walk until you come to the sixth tree. The one with the low branches (do not count saplings). Walk at a diagonal.
Along with the words, he drew pictures, including small doodles of the landmarks.
She wanted to be offended by how obviously he did not trust her to find her way, but this was also so insanely cute, she couldn’t help feeling moved. Still, she wondered what lay at the end of the map and if she should let herself get excited.
Her relationship with Thanatos was a rollercoaster, an official-unofficial mess. She’d loved him the moment she arrived in Elysium, she was sure of it, though Thanatos said that was impossible, that she had not been healed enough to understand he was only caring for her as he cared for all souls.
But she had watched him with other souls, and he did not linger with them. He did not sit beneath the eaves of the trees and talk to them until the sky turned dark and deep with stars. He didn’t let other souls kiss him.
She thought things might change once she moved into Asphodel, but it had been six months since, and he still seemed reluctant, anxious, distant, especially as the Ascension approached.
“You’re the God of Death, won’t you know when I am ready to ascend?” she asked.
“That isn’t the point,” he’d tried to argue.
“Then what is the point, Thanatos? That I will reincarnate one day, and you are too afraid to commit because of it?”
He hadn’t responded and she’d left. That had been their last conversation, so when the map had appeared on her table along with a lantern, she’d been both surprised and a little suspicious.
Truthfully, she was tired of yearning. She was done chasing.
It was Thanatos’s turn, and she couldn’t help hoping that maybe this was it. Maybe this was Thanatos chasing her.
Though as she trudged through the snow in the dark with only a lantern to light the way, she wondered if she’d made a wrong turn.
She paused to check the map again when her lantern went out.
Suddenly, she was in total darkness.
“Oh, fuck,” she said.
She moved in a circle. She wasn’t so far out that she couldn’t see the glow of Asphodel and the castle. She should probably go back and retrieve an actual, battery-operated light.
She took a single step when lights suddenly blazed from behind her. She turned to see glimmering strands of Christmas lights illuminating a path in front of her.
Excitement surged and her heart beat a little faster.
She followed the trail, twisting through the trees. It wasn’t long before she came to a clearing where the snow had been removed. There, Thanatos stood, a blanket and basket at his feet.
Lexa drew in a breath and held it.
“You made it,” he said.
She raised a brow. “I’ll try not to be offended by the relief in your voice.”
He smiled and then it faded. “I wasn’t worried you’d get lost. I was worried you wouldn’t come.”
“You left me a map,” she said. “Of course I would follow.”
His expression changed, jaw firm, eyes dark.
She took a step closer.
“I would go anywhere you lead because I love you.”
“No, no, stop,” he said, nearing. “This is for me. I mean, not for me. It is for you. So I can say how I feel about you.”
He was so close she could feel his heat. She tilted her head back to hold his gaze. He was so cute, his pale face flushed. She could hardly stand it.
“How do you feel, Thanatos?” she asked.
He stared at her for a second and then laughed, tongue darting out to lick his lips.
“I love you,” he said. “And I don’t want to push you away. I know a second, a minute, a day with you is better than none at all.”
Lexa’s face hurt from how hard she was smiling. She tackled him, wrapping her arms and legs around his waist and kissing him hard on the mouth, loving the way Thanatos kissed her back, with just as much enthusiasm as she gave.
“I am sorry,” he said, forehead resting against hers, breathless.
“I know you’re afraid. You didn’t plan to fall in love with one of your souls.”
“I don’t think you planned to fall in love with me,” he said, amused.
“As far as plans go, I think it is a pretty good one, falling in love with the God of Death.”
“I am certain many would disagree with you.”
“Well, they should,” she said, tapping his nose. “Because you are mine.”
She noticed his throat bob as he swallowed. She thought about kissing him there, opening her mouth against his skin and tasting him, but she didn’t know if he would find that weird, so instead she loosened her legs from around his waist and slid to the ground.
“What’s in the basket?” she asked.
“Treats,” he said. “I know how much you like sweets.”
“Who doesn’t like sweets?” she countered, lowering to her knees.
Thanatos chuckled, following her to the ground.
She was surprised when he sat right behind her, his legs on either side of hers, arms wrapped around her waist. He watched over her shoulder as she rummaged through the basket.
He wasn’t lying. It was filled entirely with sweets.
“Did you steal these from the kitchen or make them?”
“Which option will bring you the most joy?” he asked.
“That is not a fair answer,” she replied, turning her head, his breath against her lips as he laughed.
“I did steal from the kitchen,” he said. “But I also made some.”
“You bake?”
“Only for you,” he said. “I prefer cooking.”
“Why did I not know this?” she asked.
She felt him shrug against her. “You never asked,” he said. “And I never told you.”
A moment later, she turned in his arms, kneeling between his thighs.
“I want to know everything about you,” she said. “Don’t leave a single thing out.”
His soft smile was unwavering. “Where would you like to start?”
She pressed her palms to his chest and guided him to his back. His hands moved to her thighs, and he inhaled as she pulled her shirt over her head. She was surprised when he touched her breasts, fingers brushing her hard nipples.
Her breath caught and he paused.
“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice was deeper, his eyes darker, his body harder.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”
She loved the way his eyes roamed over her skin.
She leaned down and kissed him, lips soft and unhurried.
Thanatos’s arms tightened around her, and he rolled so that she was beneath him. He sat back and pulled at her leggings. When she was completely naked, he stared, fingers trailing the length of her leg.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured.
“So are you,” she said.
His eyes met hers, the corner of his mouth curved.
“Can I kiss you here?” he asked, fingers grazing the curls between her thighs.
She swallowed hard and nodded.
Though he’d asked, he didn’t start there. He bent and brushed his lips against her knee, making his way slowly.
Lexa thought she might die before he arrived, the torture was pure and blissful, heating her from the inside out. She felt his chin brush her first and then his lips, then his tongue.
“Fuck,” she breathed as the first wave of pleasure shot right through her, a warmth that sunk deep into her bones. He took his time, like there was no other place he’d rather be than right here between her thighs.
When he added his fingers, a guttural sound left her mouth, and she arched her back.
He kissed the bottom of her stomach as he watched her face.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, fucking perfect.”
He added another finger and then his mouth was on her clit, teasing and sucking, and her head was ringing. He built her up, took her so high, the crash left her dazed, shaken, and spent.
When she opened her eyes, Thanatos had removed his shirt, and she marveled at his physique. He was lithe but pure muscle; a literal statue carved in marble.
She rose to sit and touched him, fingers trailing over his pecs, down the center of his abs, to his cock which was still concealed beneath his pants.
“Take them off,” she said, looking up at him, her voice more of a threat than a request.
Thanatos’s eyes burned into hers, but he obeyed, and she marveled at his beauty.
“Can I touch you here?” she asked, letting the tip of her finger graze his erection.
“I think I’ll die if you don’t,” he said.
She laughed, breathless. There was a part of her that could not believe this was finally happening. As much as she wanted this moment to last forever, she also wondered how it would change her. Would she fall even more in love? Was that even possible?
Thanatos remained on his knees while Lexa’s fingers moved to the crown of his cock, smoothing beads of come over his soft skin. Above her, the God of Death groaned. Then his hands were in her hair, shifting it to the side as he watched.
“Do you like this?” she asked, as her entire fist closed around him.
“I’d be a fool not to,” he said.
She smiled. He sounded so antiquated, but she liked it.
She licked him and he tasted like salt, but it was good, and she wanted more.
Thanatos blew out a breath when her mouth closed over him, fingers flexing in her hair and on his thigh.
She got the feeling he was trying to keep a handle on his control, so she took him deeper, and he rose higher on his knees, hips thrusting.
It wasn’t a harsh movement. It was almost like he couldn’t help it, like this all felt so good, he could only give in to instinct.
When Lexa released him, Thanatos dragged her to him and kissed her deeply, his tongue sliding gently against hers.
“I want you,” Lexa said when he pulled away.
“I’m glad you haven’t changed your mind,” he said.
She sat back and lay down on the blanket. Thanatos followed, resting on his elbows as he settled between her legs.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked.
She nodded because if she’d said no, the ground is hard as fuck, she knew he would stop. Besides, it didn’t matter because everything about this was perfect.
“I think you should guide me,” he said.
She reached between them and wiggled down until she felt him at her entrance. Thanatos bent to kiss her, rocking his hips. Lexa widened her legs to accommodate him as he moved deeper. At some point, she reached around, hands on his ass, and pulled him into her.
Lexa took a breath and Thanatos groaned low in his throat.
They stilled, reveling in this quiet moment, their bodies close.
“You are so lovely,” Thanatos said, kissing along her jaw, then her neck, then her breasts. He shifted onto his elbows and moved his hips, testing, teasing—whatever it was, she wanted more.
Lexa bore down and arched her back, head pressed into the ground.
“Yes,” she said. “Please.”
He rocked against her, each thrust leaving her more and more breathless. He bent to kiss her, harder and harsher, then buried his face in the crook of her shoulder. Her hands moved to the hard muscles of his back, and she sucked on the skin of his neck.
“Fuck,” he groaned, and then he slammed into her, hard and fast until he stilled, coming inside her.
As he relaxed, she wrapped her legs around him tight.
“Are you okay?” he asked after a moment, pulling back to look at her.
“Perfect,” she replied, smiling. She’d never felt better.
“You are,” Thanatos agreed. “Insanely perfect.”
They kissed and Thanatos shifted so that he was on his back, Lexa’s head rested on his chest.
“Thank you,” said Lexa after a few quiet moments.
“For what?” he asked, fingers drifting up and down her arm in languid movements.
“The sex,” she said, laughing, and then met his gaze. “For making this the best Christmas ever.”
She bent, lips brushing his, and as they kissed, the night sky grew bright with bursts of white light. The Ascension had begun.
“I love you, Lexa Sideris,” Thanatos said. Her heart squeezed tight in her chest. “I always will, even when you are no longer with me.”
She placed a finger against his lips. “I’ll always be with you. Even when I ascend, I will haunt you.”
“Do you promise?” he asked.
She laughed. “Yes, I promise. I swear, I vow, I pledge.”
Thanatos grinned and she kissed him again, feeling more alive than she ever had before.