Thirty-six
On Saturday morning, Rachel was checking her bookings and trying to work out what she needed to do before her guests arrived the following week. She wanted to get it done before lunch as Jess was bringing the twins round to play with Verity in the afternoon while she took Emily to a birthday party. They’d miss Verity too, when she left, though school started next week, and they were excited about that.
‘Mum, can we talk?’ Alexander popped his head into the study where Rachel was struggling with the computer which was refusing to cooperate.
She looked up. This was it. He was going to tell her they were leaving. ‘Sure,’ she said, glad of a break. ‘Why don’t we have a cup of coffee? Where’s Verity?’
‘She and Molly are in the yard.’
‘Okay.’
‘You’re going to tell me you’re leaving,’ she said, trying to sound calm, when they were seated in the courtyard with coffee and the remains of the Christmas cake. Verity had already had a piece and a glass of milk and had scampered off to play with Molly again.
Alexander pushed back his hair, a habit he’d developed in childhood when he knew he was going to be in trouble. ‘It’s been great… you’ve been great, but I need to get back. There’s my job, and… I need to earn a living. I’ve booked my flight for Wednesday.’
Rachel was about to made soothing noises, say it was okay, that she hoped he’d bring Verity back soon, when she realised he’d said “my flight” not “our flights”. She stared at him, her eyes widening, a cold chill in her stomach. ‘What about Verity?’ she asked, looking across the yard to where the little girl was playing happily with the dog.
‘Ah…’ He looked sheepish. ‘Mum. Much as I love her, I can’t… My life…’ he pushed back his hair again, ‘… it wouldn’t work. She loves you… and Molly, the twins, loves being here. I’ll visit…’
‘You’re her father.’ It was all Rachel could think of to say. She’d seen how the little girl clung to him when they first arrived. And, although she had now warmed to Rachel and the other family members, it was Alexander she looked to, his lap she curled up in when she was tired, his arms she wanted around her when she was upset, he who soothed her when she awoke and cried in the night. ‘I thought you told me you’d promised her mother you would take care of her?’
‘I promised Anthea she’d have a home, and she will have, here with you. She’ll have the same loving home I grew up in, plus aunts and cousins. She’d have none of that in London. And I’ll come back more often. I promise.’
In a blinding moment, Rachel understood the strange looks, the half-finished phrases both Poppy and Jess had been guilty of. Had they known… or guessed? ‘Who else knew your plan?’
‘No one.’ But Alexander looked guilty. ‘I think Jess may have guessed,’ he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. ‘She wanted to know a lot about my life in London.’
‘Well, I certainly didn’t expect this.’
‘But you will… give her a home?’ he pleaded.
Rachel was conflicted, various scenarios playing out in her mind. She loved Verity, would miss the twins when they started school, but she had never contemplated taking care of a young child on a permanent basis. She looked at Alexander, remembering how, as a small boy and a teenager, he’d always managed to get around her objections, always got his own way, and sighed. ‘Of course I will.’ How could she refuse to take in her own granddaughter? ‘Have you told her?’
Alexander looked awkward again. ‘I was hoping…’
‘No! I’m sorry, Alexander, but Verity is your daughter. You’re the one who has to tell her but do it gently. She’s still very vulnerable. She only recently lost her mother. Now she’s going to lose her father too.’
Alexander flinched. ‘It’s hard for me too, but I haven’t been much of a father to her.’ He stared down at the pavers.
‘I disagree. You stepped up when Anthea contacted you. Many men wouldn’t have taken responsibility. And you brought her here, to a home where you knew she’d be welcomed and loved, find a family.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’ Alexander’s voice was subdued.
‘But you can’t hand Verity over like a parcel. You need to talk to her, tell her you love her, that we all love her, explain in words she can understand how she can’t live with you, why she will be staying here with me, and promise to visit often. And do it today to give her time to get used to the idea before you head off.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ Alexander repeated, beaming with the smile that had managed to get him out of trouble for most of his childhood. ‘But I need time to prepare what I’m going to say.’
And I need time to come to terms with the fact that I’m about to become sole carer for a three-year-old. Rachel had thought she was past all that, happy to look after the twins and Emily, and equally happy to hand them back to their mother. ‘The twins will be here this afternoon,’ she said. ‘Best wait till after they’ve gone. Perhaps you could take her for a walk on the beach. Everything always seems easier down there.’
‘Okay, Mum. Thanks.’ Alexander rose and kissed Rachel. ‘Wish Dad was here.’
‘I do too.’ Suddenly a wave of grief welled up in Rachel for the man who had always been by her side, the man who would have torn strips off Alexander then pulled him into a warm hug, who’d have been here to help her with this unexpected blessing. For, Rachel realised, it was a blessing to have the care and nurture of this lovely little girl at this stage of her life.
*
The afternoon proved riotous at usual, with the girls attempting to dress Molly in some doll’s clothes and the wily little dog managing to escape their clutches. When Jess arrived to pick up the twins, she didn’t seem to be as rushed as usual, and Rachel was able to persuade her to sit down for a cuppa. Alexander chose this time to suggest a walk on the beach to Verity and, with hugs and promises to see the twins soon, Verity agreed.
When the pair had disappeared down the steps to the beach, and the twins and Emily were happily sitting on the grass with milk and biscuits… and a hopeful Molly, Rachel took the opportunity to talk with her daughter. ‘Did you know what Alexander was planning?’ she asked.
The tips of Jess’s ears turned red. ‘Not exactly,’ she said, ‘but I had an inkling. He’s not cut out to look after a little girl like Verity, Mum. She’ll be much better here in Pelican Crossing with you.’
‘Hmm.’ While Rachel couldn’t dispute Jess’s assessment of the situation, she couldn’t help but be annoyed with Alexander, and feel sorry for Verity. She gazed down at the beach to where the two figures were standing at the edge of the ocean, and wondered what he was saying to his daughter, how he was explaining he was about to leave her here. As she watched, she saw the little girl throw herself against his legs, her arms clasping him tightly. It didn’t augur well.
Rachel and Jess chatted a little more, then the girls became restless, Molly left them to join Rachel, and Jess rose. ‘We need to go now, Mum. It’ll be fine. You’ll see. Are you going to have a farewell dinner for Alexander?’
‘I suppose.’ Though she didn’t feel he deserved one after his announcement, Rachel knew both Jess and Steph would want to see him one last time before he left. ‘Tuesday?’
‘Sounds good. Bye, Mum.’ Jess gave Rachel a hug, followed by the three girls. The house was quiet when they left, and she felt the sense of relief she always did after an afternoon with the two terrors. While she loved them to bits, it was always good to have the house to herself again. But, she realised, she never would again. Even though Verity was a delight and much more subdued and quieter than the twins, she’d be a constant presence. It was a long time since Rachel had needed to care for a child on a full-time basis. Would she be able to cope? Then she straightened her shoulders. What was she thinking? Of course she would cope. She always did, always had, with whatever life had thrown at her. Look at how she had coped with Kirk’s illness, something neither of them had predicted. One never knew what the future would bring.
It wasn’t until a very subdued and teary Verity was in bed, and Alexander had disappeared into the study to catch up on his emails, that it occurred to Rachel how having Verity here might prove a stumbling block to her relationship with Luke.