Thirty-eight
It had been sad to watch Alexander leave. Verity had clung to him as if she would never let him go, but eventually he’d managed to prise her arms from around his neck and hand her over to Rachel. Then she’d clung to her, sobbing.
Rachel had foreseen this and had made arrangements for Jess to drop off the twins. It was difficult for anyone to remain sad with the two terrors around, and with Molly dashing around excitedly. But today, Verity wasn’t so easily enlisted into the twins’ games, preferring to stay around Rachel in the kitchen.
‘Why don’t we decide on your birthday cake?’ Rachel said finally to the twins, after having tried everything she could think of. It was fortunate their birthday fell on a weekend, only days before school started. Her words managed to elicit a spark of interest from Verity, and a whoop of delight from the twins who immediately made for the bookshelf where Rachel kept her recipe books and pulled out the now somewhat battered copy of The Women’s Weekly Children’s Birthday Cake Cookbook . Rachel had bought it when her three were little, and it had had seen a lot of use over the years as she produced cakes for Jess, Steph and Alexander, and now Gemma, Indie and Emily.
Rachel smiled as all three girls pored over the book, Gemma and Indie arguing over which cake to choose before finally settling on the Alphabet cake because, ‘We’re starting school,’ Gemma said.
It was a good choice, and an easy one for Rachel with only the purchase of two packets of round caramel mud cake mix, a tub of vanilla frosting, six packets of jumbles biscuits, some coloured icing and packets of M&M’s. She’d already made that one when Jess was little, though it hadn’t been Steph or Alexander’s choice. One thing she liked about the Women’s Weekly cake recipes were how easy they were to make.
The twins were excitedly discussing the party they were having on the Saturday, and Rachel was writing the shopping list when Verity sidled up to her. ‘Can I have a party for my birthday too, Grandma?’ she asked in a tiny voice. ‘I’m going to be four.’
‘Of course you can, honey. Your daddy said it was in March. I’ll check with him on the date. Would you like to choose a cake too?’
‘Can I have the one that looks like a chocolate dog?’
Rachel chuckled. The sausage dog cake had been Alexander’s choice one year too. ‘You surely can. Your daddy chose that cake too when he was about your age.’
Verity’s lower lip trembled. ‘Will my Daddy be here for my birthday?’
Rachel’s heart dropped. How could Alexander have been so heartless as to leave his daughter here? ‘I hope so,’ she said, crossing her fingers and deciding to do everything in her power to ensure he was.
‘Can we go for a swim now?’ Gemma asked, now the cake was decided on.
As it was past the worst of the day’s heat, Rachel agreed and, only a few minutes later, she and the three girls made their way down to the beach with Molly.
As usual it was deserted. Today, there weren’t even any surfers sitting out on their boards or riding in on the waves. Wearing only a shirt over her one-piece swimsuit, Rachel joined the girls in the shallow water. They were protected from the afternoon sun by their rashies and a liberal application of sunscreen and were all enjoying holding hands and jumping the waves when Molly dashed off.
‘Molly!’ Gemma shouted, dropping Rachel’s hand and staring after the little dog who had been joined by another.
‘It’s Nelson,’ Verity said, and when Rachel shaded her eyes, she saw the boxer, followed at a more leisurely pace by his master. She began to tremble. She hadn’t expected to see Luke today.
By the time he reached the group, the girls had decided they’d had enough of the water and had moved to the dry sand where they were attempting to build a castle. The dogs immediately joined them leading to chaos, which they all seemed to enjoy.
‘Your son’s left?’ Luke asked.
‘This morning.’
‘How’s Verity?’
‘She’s been very clingy since he left, until the twins arrived. I’m not sure how she’ll cope tonight.’ She sighed, silently cursing her son, while aware it was probably the best solution for Verity in the long run.
‘Remember I’m not far away if you need anything.’
‘Thanks.’ Rachel’s eyes met his, comforted by the warmth she saw there. She could scarcely believe how short a time it was since she’d taken Molly into the vet clinic and met Luke again. He had become an important part of her life so quickly. And, while they both knew his time here was limited, it was something they never talked about, as if by refusing to mention it, it didn’t exist. ‘I’ll let you know how I go,’ she said, ‘but I’m going to be busy. I’m going to need to spend time with Verity, and my next group of guests arrive soon too.’ She gave a rueful grin, blinking as the sun shone into her eyes.
‘Not too busy, I hope.’
Rachel’s heart turned over at the memory of the last time they’d been together. She couldn’t imagine how they’d manage to find time to be alone with each other now she was responsible for Verity… and with a houseful of B&B guests. ‘I hope not,’ she said.
‘Call me.’ Luke stroked her cheek with one finger and for a moment, Rachel thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, he called to Nelson and strode off, leaving her staring after him and wishing…
‘Grandma, can you help us?’ Indie’s voice brought Rachel back to the present. She was on the beach. She had responsibilities, and her own desires must be put aside… for the moment.
That evening, as she bathed Verity and put her to bed, reading her a story and staying with the little girl till she fell asleep, Rachel had a sense of déjà vu. It was as if she was back when Jess was Verity’s age, when there was so much to look forward to, when… But this time, there was no Kirk to share the burden, waiting for her with a glass of wine, there to curl up with at the end of the day… and Luke was in Bob’s house on the other end of the bluff.
Rachel stifled the burst of anger with Alexander, one of the many which had regularly tortured her since he left, and tried to suppress her doubt that she could cope with Verity on her own. She was a survivor. She’d managed to cope with Kirk’s illness, with being left alone. Surely she could cope with a three-year-old child?