Chapter 4
Chapter Four
“Daniel, is something the matter?” Daniel, the Earl of Grayhill’s sister, Violet, asked him.
He wasn’t paying attention to his sister. He meant to be, seeing as he’d travelled all this way just to see her. But his thoughts were elsewhere, refusing to be tamed and conquered, even if he was doing everything within his power to do just that.
“Daniel?” she asked again.
“Hmm?” He looked up to find Violet watching him, abject worry painted across her face. “Oh, yes…” He gave his head a shake. “What were you saying?”
“Something is troubling you,” Violet pressed. “And do not lie to me. I am not a little girl anymore, meaning I’m not so easy to trick.”
He allowed himself to smile coyly. “Do you remember the time I told you that if you left your bed after being put to sleep that a monster would emerge from beneath and eat you?”
“Of course I do,” she scoffed.
“And because you were so terrified, you ended up wetting the bed, rather than risk –”
“I was eight!”
“And it was just as funny now as it was then.” Daniel shook his head to himself at the memory, chuckling along to see how upset it made Violet even now.
“You’re changing the subject,” she pivoted back.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Tell me what is troubling you – the truth,” she demanded of him, arms folded, an eyebrow raised in warning. “Otherwise, I might just ask you to leave. Although in your mind, that will probably be considered a reward. So perhaps I will force you to stay.”
“Speaks to how highly you prize your own company.”
“Speaks to how little you value the company of others,” she shot back. “Come on then, while we are young. Since arriving, your mind has been a million miles away and dare I say that I am starting to worry.”
“You always were sentimental.”
“One of us has to be.”
Daniel had six younger sisters, but it was no surprise or secret that Violet was his favorite.
And that wasn’t to say that he did not like the others, more that he and Violet had always gotten along the best. They were the closest in age, and their bond was forged in the fires of a not-so-pleasant upbringing through which they were always there to look out for one another.
For that reason, she was the only person in this world who Daniel felt truly comfortable talking to. So much that he almost considered telling her what was on his mind and why he was having such a hard time concentrating.
Alas, it’s going to be a lie this time, one that she will sense, just as she will sense that for once she should not push. Some secrets are better left unspoken, especially when those secrets are as confusing as they are unexpected.
“It’s nothing to concern yourself with,” Daniel assured her with a dismissive wave of his hand. “It’s just this time of year, is all. My thoughts dwell on Christmas Eve and all I’ll need to do before then.”
Violet cocked an eyebrow at him. “Is that so?”
“Indeed,” he said, fixing his own eyes on her so she might just believe the lie… or at least understand that he was lying for good reason. “I know you are a guaranteed guest, but what of the others? How am I to prepare an evening for a dozen people if half of them might not even turn up?”
She narrowed her eyes, no doubt wondering if she should push. Thankfully, understanding passed behind Violet’s eyes and she nodded at his answer as if she believed it for even a second.
Thank God that she knows me as well as she does.
“Oh, it will be fine,” she said, waving him down. “Likely, they will be so surprised that you are choosing to host them in the first place that they will insist on being there. If for no other reason than to prove the truth of it.”
“What does that mean?”
Violet’s raised eyebrow this time indicated condescension. “Come now, Daniel. It is no great secret that you have been somewhat…” She clicked her tongue with consideration. “Withdrawn these past two years. A veritable ghost, for how social you have been.”
“I have been busy.”
“Busy hiding,” she corrected. “And don’t try and tell me otherwise. Just as you should not waste your breath making up excuses for the reason, because they are well known.”
“Are they now?” he scoffed.
Violet sighed and then rested her hand on his leg in comfort.
“Our mother’s death has affected us all, Daniel.
Each in our own way. But you knew mother best, just as you know that she would not want her death to have broken you as it clearly has.
” She fixed him with a look of concern. “Hiding away, shutting yourself off from the world, is no way to live.”
It was two years ago now when Daniel’s mother died.
Indeed, her death saddened him greatly, as she was always that rock which was there to lean on when times were at their hardest. And it was after she died that Daniel removed himself fully from the world, which explained well enough why Violet thought this to be the reason for his morosity.
If only things were that simple…
“I have been busy,” he repeated, speaking into his chest. “And now that I am not so, I thought it right to remind you that I am indeed alive and well. As concerned for me as you are.”
“More than you know,” Violet assured him.
It had been months since Daniel visited his favorite sister. And even longer since he had visited any of the other five. But it wasn’t personal, nor was it because he had been ‘busy’ as he claimed.
Daniel had a painful history where his sisters were concerned. One that brought him so much shame that, as horrid as it was to say, he was happy to use his mother’s death as an excuse to distant himself from them.
Deep down, he suspected his sisters knew this.
In many ways, he hoped that they did. What he had done to them…
nothing would make it right. He did not want it to be made right.
What he wanted was to explain to them how sorry he was.
Not because he sought forgiveness – he did not deserve such things -- but because it was right to do so.
That was why he had come to see Violet today.
With the Christmas Season upon them, Daniel decided it would do to host a Christmas Eve party at his home and invite his sisters so that he might begin the act of reparation. It would not absolve him of his sins, but it would go a small way to making amends.
There is one other reason I wish to see them… one that I cannot tell even Violet, because I know she will do everything she can to change my mind. And in this, my mind will not be swayed.
Violet, he visited personally, knowing that she would agree with his wishes. He sent invitations to the others and waited for their responses. If not even one of them decided to show up, he would not hold it against them. In fact, he expected it, such was how horrid he felt for all he had done.
“I am glad you are undertaking this task,” Violet offered. “Truly, Daniel. We all worry about you.”
“There is no need.”
“However, I cannot help but wonder at the timing…” She looked at him knowingly, a smirk reaching her lips. “And how insistent you are. Do I sense a hidden agenda? Another reason you are so eager to see us all together?”
“And once again, I am reminded of why I have been so happy to avoid speaking with you these last two years.”
“Oh, I meant nothing by it.” A small smile grew across her face. “But it has been several years now since you were forced to spend every waking hour worrying about us all. Our debts are paid. Mother is gone. You are all alone…”
“Say what you are thinking,” he said sharply.
She looked at him flatly. “Do I sense an engagement announcement in the air? A part of me would be upset, if that was the case, seeing as you should have really introduced me to this mystery woman beforehand. But another part can’t help but be thrilled for you.”
“Do not be absurd.”
“Am I?” she pressed. “You are five and thirty, Daniel. An Earl, to boot. It is only right that you finally marry, as mother wanted. As you should want, for that matter. What is so absurd about that?”
“As you know well, sister, I have no desire to be engaged.”
She said nothing to this as she tilted her head to the side and eyed him keenly.
He huffed. “You will not bait me. Nor will you have me trying to justify my decision.”
Again, she said nothing, still watching him with a knowing smirk that she must have known drove him to madness.
She knows well enough the reason. That I do not wish to marry because I do not deserve it. That after what I did to her and our sisters, I am the last person who should be given the chance at a happy ending.
“Just let me know if you hear from any of our sisters,” he said, changing the topic.
She rolled her eyes. “I will, I will. But that won’t keep me from wondering.”
His sisters weren’t the only problem that plagued Daniel on this day. His mind continually wandered from one issue to the next. It had been that way on the trip over, all through lunch, and now that Daniel was readying to say goodbye and make the journey home, still his dilemmas tormented him.
I just do not understand it! It should not bother me. It should not even touch my conscience. Yet, despite how hard I try, I cannot remove it from my thoughts so that it is all I can focus on.
He was, of course, thinking about Lady Alison Collins.
Who could have guessed that a chance encounter at the market would lead to such hostility?
Who would have conjectured that his neighbor, a woman who he by rights should have felt nothing for, could unman him so effortlessly?
Who would have thought that Daniel, the Earl of Grayhill, would be distracted by a woman when he had long ago sworn off such follies for what he believed to be good reasons?
Suddenly… now, he wasn’t so sure of his convictions..
And then came Lady Alison.
She was another breed of woman entirely, and unlike any he had met before. Obstinate. Strong-willed. Antagonistic. There was just something about her that made Daniel’s blood run hot so that it was all he could do not to think about her every waking second.