Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
“Knock, knock.” Alison stood at the open doorway to Daniel’s room.
He was standing in front of the mirror, double-checking his coat, scarf, and hair. When he heard her, he looked up and smiled. “Someone is learning.”
She shrugged. “I know how you hate being snuck up on.”
“It only took you two weeks, but better late than never.” He went back to the mirror, a final look as his ensemble. “I am just about ready, if that is what you are here for. Besides, I always believe in the term fashionably late.”
“No, that is not why I am here…” She lingered by the doorway, hesitant to enter.
“Oh?”
It was the strangest thing, but Alison had been plagued by guilt all day.
She knew the reason for this but was no less surprised by its persistence.
Not so long ago, she would have simply ignore it because she rather liked getting her way and did not think she was doing anything wrong. But times had since changed…
For a moment, she stayed where she was and watched the Earl get ready.
It was early morning, and the day was bright so the sun’s light spread through the room and warmed both it and the Earl in a way that made the scene glow before her eyes.
Her opinion of Daniel had changed so much these past two weeks. Once, she hated him. Once, she loathed the very idea of him. Once, she was so darn eager to see herself free from his clutches that she had put herself in real danger because of it. And she wondered now how she had been so blind.
This last week especially, Alison and Daniel had grown close.
They spent every day together. They enjoyed one another’s company.
And they never fought or argued. Sometimes, the ghost of a fight was there, lingering between them, but they were both wary of it and both seemed to understand the danger of doing such a thing.
For this reason, confrontations were avoided, and that action led to them getting to know one another in ways that might have once felt impossible. But that was also the problem.
In just two days, Alison’s family would be returning home. And as strange as it was to admit, she was not at all looking forward to their arrival. It made her realize how much she had come to covet the Earl’s company, just as it made her realize how good he had been to her.
Too good, if I am being honest. Hence, why I am here.
“I was just thinking…” She stayed by the doorway, speaking softly. Nerves touching her voice. “If you do not wish to go today, I will understand.”
Daniel frowned and looked at her. “You do not wish to go?”
“What? No,” she said quickly. “What I meant was, if you do not wish to go…”
“You do not want me to attend?”
“No, that is not –” She caught her tongue and shook her head because she was becoming flustered. “My meaning is, I know how much you dislike these types of events. Just as I know the only reason you are going is because you think you must. If you wish to stay home, I will understand.”
Daniel continued to frown at her. “Will you still be attending?”
“I had hoped to.”
“That settles it then.” He was back on his reflection, a final adjustment of his scarf. “I am going. After all, we don’t want you getting yourself into trouble now, do we?”
He meant well. Alison knew that he did. Just as she also knew he wasn’t going only because he thought he had to look out for her. And as silly as it was, she wanted him to admit it.
Why did she? Maybe she wanted him to stop acting like everything he did was only for her safety? Maybe she wanted him to finally say that he enjoyed spending time with her, and that was the reason? Or maybe she wanted an excuse to argue with him, knowing where it would lead…
“Is that the only reason?” she asked.
“Excuse me?”
She sighed. “You and I both know that I will be perfectly safe. It is Whitehaven, and there will be hundreds of people around. I will not be in any danger.”
“Likely,” he agreed. “But it is better to be safe than sorry.”
“But you do not wish to attend,” she pressed. “I know you do not. So, if I was to promise to be on my best behavior, then you have no reason to attend.”
“Alison… what are you trying to say?”
“You do not have to go on my account,” she said. “If you would prefer to stay home, I will understand.”
“I told you, I will not risk –”
“There is no risk!” she cried before she could help herself.
“You and I both know it. Now, if you do not wish to go, be honest with me. I will not be upset with you. In fact, I suspect very much that the last thing you want to do today is visit Whitehaven to help decorate the square.” She scoffed. “In fact, I know it.”
Daniel studied her from across the room. His brow was furrowed, his expression as curious as it was confused. She felt his stare on her, and she looked away, suddenly embarrassed.
Alison had enjoyed these past two weeks so much, but as the time for its end drew near, she could not help but wonder what might happen after she left his estate and return to Lord Pemberton’s.
“You are right…” Slowly, he started across the room. “The main reason I am going today is because I feel it is my duty to watch over you.”
“You do not have –”
“But that is not the only reason.” Daniel reached where she was standing and then he took her hands.
She felt his touch, not just on her hands, but through her body like a fire was spreading up her limbs.
She continued to look away, cheeks burning, breathing heavy.
“Would it surprise you to know that these past two weeks have not been nearly as difficult as I thought they would be?”
She snorted. “How nice to say.”
Still holding her hands, he made sure to be looking into her eyes. As was common now, there was a smile in them. He no longer hid behind a glower; he no longer lived in purposeful darkness. And with those eyes looking at her, he saw her, and she saw him.
“You are right, Alison. Was it up to me, I would not wish to go today. But you wish to go – and do not say differently. I realize that soon your parents will return, you will go home, and these past two weeks will be little more than a memory.”
She pushed down her smile. “It has not been all bad…”
“Which is why today will not be all bad either,” he said as he looked at her.
“I do not want to go today, but what I do want is to spend time with you. So, if that means I must suffer through interacting with the villagers and dealing with their…” He scoffed.
“Their attention. So be it. What is one more day?”
Alison saw it then like she never had before. Or rather, she saw what she had felt for some time but had been determined to ignore.
Her attraction to Daniel was not based upon fighting and frayed tempers.
It did not require anger and passion to bring it to the fore.
It was as real as the snow that covered the grounds, as the sun that shone in the sky, as her heart which thumped in her chest as it swelled to sizes that she could not fathom.
She was not only falling for the Earl, but she had done it already. And what was more, she was all but certain that he had fallen for her too.
“Thank you,” she said, a smile touching her lips. “I… I have felt the same way. Not something I expected, but something I am glad for having happened.”
“Careful now, Lady Alison. I might begin to think that you enjoy my company.”
“I am as surprised as you, believe me.”
He chuckled softly as his eyes flicked to her lips. She held her breath, expecting him to lean in and kiss her. The moment felt right.
And yet… Daniel hesitated.
His brow furrowed and his expression turned severe. It was as if he only just then realized what he said, the implications of it all, and could not quite bring himself to act upon what she could see he wanted to do so desperately.
Her mind returned to that night which felt so long ago, when he pushed her away and scolded himself for daring to kiss her. For some reason, he fought the urge as if it might kill him. He wanted her… but he did not want to admit it.
“We should go.” He dropped her hands and stepped back. “We do not want to be late.”
“What happened to being fashionably late?” she joked.
He laughed. “There is fashionably late, and then there is rudeness. I am afraid we are flirting dangerously with that line. Now…” He cocked his arm for her to slip her hand through. “Shall we?”
Alison hesitated. She did not want the moment to end. Not now. Not when she could sense how close they were… but I also know better than to push. We are past that now, and I do not want to return to how things were.
“Yes.” She slipped her arm through his. “Best that we get to it. Just promise me you will try and enjoy yourself today.”
He scoffed. “I will make no such promises.”
They laughed together as they walked from the room and through the manor. But in that room, Alison’s thoughts remained. What would it take to push the Earl over the edge? What would she need to do? She had no idea… while knowing too that they were so close.
Perhaps today would change everything?