Chapter Forty-Three
It was later on that night Beth started to feel a bit more like herself. After enjoying her cup of tea, which she’d told Callum was the best she’d ever tasted, and some thick toasted pan loaf with butter, she had a nap and woke feeling a bit more rested. She realised that her dad had sent several texts checking that she was okay. She replied quickly to let him know she was safe and that she would call him the following day. She decided to ignore the missed calls from Alessandro. Beth realised she wasn’t quite ready to leave this safe and warm bubble that Callum had created. He had left her some clean pyjamas and a towel on the armchair next to the bed.
‘Just use the bathroom whenever you’re ready and give me a shout if you need anything.’
‘Thanks,’ she’d said. ‘I really do appreciate this. Especially the spare jammies and the toothbrush.’
‘We’ve always got extra toothbrushes in the house in case one of Daisy’s friends stays over. I quickly learned it was good to have a supply. And the pyjamas are my mum’s.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘She has a little drawer of stuff here so she can travel light when she comes to visit.’
After Beth had showered and changed, she felt tired again, but not enough to go back to bed. Instead she padded through to the kitchen, where she could hear Callum moving about.
‘Hey there.’ He gave her a lazy smile. ‘Do you feel better now?’
‘Loads,’ she said. ‘It’s amazing what a warm shower can do.’
He nodded. ‘I know. I’m just glad that the electricity is back on. Otherwise it would have been the full Wim Hof cold shower experience. And although it was atmospheric last night, I didn’t fancy another night in candlelight.’ He gestured to the sofa. ‘Have a seat and I’ll get you some more tea.’
Beth curled up on the sofa and Ruby moved closer to her. Beth looked at the display of Christmas cards on the mantelpiece, then watched Callum as he moved around the kitchen, preparing the tea. It was quite weird observing him now, as a man, compared to the boy she had fallen in love with. He was more confident and assured, yet an air of weariness seemed to follow him around. Tears sprang in her eyes as she thought about how kind he’d been to her the last couple of days. She knew his intentions were genuine and not loaded in any way with expectation. She couldn’t help comparing him to Tim and the years she had wasted with him. As she had finally acknowledged to herself many times this past year, he had effectively destroyed what had been her life.
‘There you go Beth. I’ve got some soup on too for when you feel like it.’ He handed her a large earthenware mug. ‘You’ve got to keep your strength up.’
She took a deep breath. ‘Thanks Callum. I’m not sure that I will ever stop saying that to you.’ She gave him an apologetic smile.
‘Don’t be silly. That’s what friends are for.’ He held her gaze for a moment, then looked away.
‘I know . . . but I still think all of this is quite weird.’
He looked surprised. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Us being together like this after such a long time, and we don’t really know what either of us have done with our lives. We are effectively two strangers.’
He looked a bit caught off guard and took a sharp breath in.
‘I’m just sorry that we lost touch . . .’ she added uncertainly.
Callum sat down next to her on the sofa. He paused before starting to speak. ‘I always planned to come with you, Beth.’ He stared at her and smiled sadly. ‘To London.’
‘You did?’ She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
He nodded. ‘My bags were packed and I was all set to go. Then the night before I was due to leave, my dad died very suddenly, and everything changed in an instant. My world was turned upside down.’
‘But . . .’ She was at a loss for words. Oh Callum , she thought, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly sad. ‘I am so sorry. I really am. I don’t know what to say.’ A combination of emotions rippled through her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
He took a sip from his mug and gazed at the fire. ‘We were so young, Beth. That night, when my dad died, everything changed so fast. I didn’t want to hold you back. I had responsibilities here. I just hoped you would think I’d changed my mind and that I didn’t want to come with you. Most of all I just wanted you to get on with your life and do what you dreamed of. I made Kirsty promise not to tell you if you got in touch to ask what had happened. I didn’t want you to change your plans for me.’
Beth sighed inwardly and wondered what she would have done if she had known. She had never bothered to get in touch with anyone. She had been so upset. She glanced at him. Would she have stayed if she had known the truth? ‘Yes, I did think that you’d changed your mind.’
‘And I’m really glad that you did think that and that you lived your life and made the most of London. I knew how important that was to you. I would have hated to hold you back.’
She felt a solitary tear slide down her cheek. Callum reached over and brushed it away.
‘Here.’ He handed her a tissue. ‘Don’t cry.’ He looked at her for a moment. ‘Life is very strange. You can’t always plan things the way you want to. But at least you got to live your dream. Am I right?’
It was a question she didn’t want to answer, so she just nodded vaguely. Her mind was full of images of what might have been, what could have been, if only she had known the truth about why Callum didn’t meet her.
‘After Dad died, I became the man of the house and had to help run the joinery. Of course I would much rather have been with you. But I had to push that all to the side. I had to do what was right for my family at the time.’
Beth reached for his hand and clasped it. ‘Did you ever leave? Like later on?’ It seemed sad to think of Callum never having the chance to do some of the things that he had dreamed of.
He smiled. ‘Yes, when I got older, I went off travelling and did my own thing for a while. I’d always wanted to go to Malaysia to learn more about woodwork. That was incredible.’ His face became animated as he remembered. ‘And when Daisy was born, she gave Mum a new focus, so I felt I had a bit more freedom to explore and do my own thing for a while, especially as the business was doing well and I could trust someone else to run it for me. By then Isla lived in Manchester and I’d go down and visit too.’ He looked completely bereft, his eyes tormented, as he sat in deep contemplation.
Beth eyed him for a moment. She could tell speaking about his sister wasn’t at all easy, but she had to ask him. ‘Callum,’ she began gently. He stared at her blankly for a moment. ‘What happened to her? What happened to Isla?’