Chapter Fourteen
Dallas
I line up the puck and shoot at the net. The goalie lifts his glove to stop the shot, but it sails past the top.
Goal!
The crowd erupts in cheers, and my teammates skate over to high-five me.
“You’re back!” Rosco yells as he pats my back.
“Damn straight!” I scream, pumping my arm in the air.
This is my second goal of the night in my first home game since my epic loss here just a few nights back. And skating with Ella.
Ella.
My mind drifts to her as I wonder if she’s watching the game or stuck working.
Now that we officially met the other night, I find myself searching for her every time I’m at this rink. She’s always here. Bustling around with her petite frame and golden curls, always extremely busy.
I glance over to the snack bar in the distance, but I can’t see anything.
Another teammate yells in my ear, and the energy is high for the rest of the night.
We end up winning 4-2, and it feels amazing.
I’m back, baby.
In the locker room, Coach speaks to us briefly after the game. Everyone is rowdy and in a great mood, a stark contrast to the last few games.
“Hey, drinks at the hockey house tonight to celebrate?” my teammate, Bretton, asks.
“Nah.” I shake my head as I tie up my laces.
“You sure?” Trevor pipes up.
“Yeah.” My eyes elsewhere, just like my thoughts.
I’m the last one out of the locker room again, although I don’t loiter nearly as long as last time. I’m tempted to stay to see if Ella would come inside the locker room again, but I can always go to her and check to see if she needs help cleaning up or anything.
I throw my bag over my shoulder, push open the door, and turn.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” a familiar voice says, but it’s anything but sweet. “Geez, what were you doing in there? Most of your teammates left over twenty minutes ago.”
“Dad,” I say, trying to keep the edge out of my voice. “What are you doing here?”
“What? I can’t watch my own boy play hockey?”
“Just surprised to see you here,” I respond, although I shouldn’t have been.
My dad lives and breathes hockey. He also loves micromanaging me and my prospective career, especially since he never had the skills to make it big.
“Heard you’ve been playing badly. This wouldn’t have happened if you played for Chestnut Hill.”
And there it is. The reason for the visit: to rub in my face what a failure I am. That if I had listened to him and gone to his alma mater, I wouldn’t be struggling with this shitty play.
“I played great tonight,” I shrug, not keeping the cockiness out of my voice. “Ended with a hat trick.”
“Because I was here.”
I let out a choked laugh. He can’t be serious with this crap, right? Before I can manage a response, he continues. “Bill wants you to enter the transfer portal.”
This again.
My dad was livid when I chose the free ride with more playtime at Bristol Bay University over his choice. I thought it would be over after that, but nope. Now he’s on me to transfer, to change my mind.
It’s not just his alma mater either. It’s any hockey program ranked higher than my current one. It doesn’t matter that we are nationally ranked, which is a special feat as a small, private university. We’re also getting better and better as a team, you know, minus the last few games, but still.
It also doesn’t matter that I can have much more playtime here than at other schools, and I’m on track to be Captain next year as a junior. Also, I’m happy.
“Dad,” my tone low and strong, silently saying enough, but he doesn’t get the hint.
“C’mon, Dallas. Just think about it.”
I tap a finger to my clenched chin. “What teams are interested?” His eyes shine with delight. “What’s the farthest one?”
He frowns when the second question fully processes. “The farthest. Knock it off. They are all New England ones. That way, you play on the East Coast. It’s your dream.”
“No, Dad. It’s your dream. My dream is to make my own decisions without judgment.” I shove past my father and push open the doors to the outside, feeling the change in temperatures, the briskness in the November air.
The parking lot is dark with only one lone streetlight with a dull bulb. I step forward and—bump.
“Umph,” a voice says near my ear.
“Ella?”
“Hey,” her voice is shy but sweet. “Great game tonight.”
“Did you watch?” The words barrel out.
Her fingers wrap around her ponytail, playing with it as she responds, “When I could. Mostly on the screen.”
“Great,” I say, as I shift the weight from my left to my right foot. I should go. I’m way too pissed off at the world right now to converse.
I can’t believe my dad showed up tonight with his usual bullshit, screwing up my postgame high.
I take two steps forward, passing her, but then stop in my tracks. I turn to face her. “Does it ever feel like, whatever you do, you won’t be good enough for some people?”
She blinks twice. “Yes. Every day.”
“Really?” I take a step closer to her, and she does the same.
“Yeah. You can do everything perfectly, and it’s never enough.”
“Yeah,” I say, my throat feeling tighter. “Exactly.”
“But you’re Dallas Dawes. I can’t imagine that someone wouldn’t be impressed with you.”
A snort comes out. “You’d be surprised.” I pause, not sure if I should continue. “Uh, my dad.” I pause again, but she just stares at me, waiting for me. “He’s not happy that I play for Bristol Bay.”
“Really?” Her words sound genuinely surprised. “Bristol Bay is a great school, and their hockey team is one of the best.”
“But not the best.”
“Ah,” she says with a small nod.
“He wants me to transfer to Chestnut Hill University.”
“Near Boston? But that’s, like, thirty minutes from the ocean!” she protests.
A chuckle pops out at her indignation. “I know, right? I can’t just walk down to the beach whenever I want.”
“Not many colleges can say that.” A smirk fills her lips and the corners of mine tip up as well.
“Very true.”
That smile remains on my face, feeling much lighter than I did ten minutes prior. I’m comfortable and happy around Ella, I realize. I’m begging to breathe the same air as her and take up the same space.
BBUGirl flashes in my mind, and I automatically take a step back.
Shit.
I can’t be hung up on two girls at once.
And this is only the second time Ella and I have conversed.
I’ve spoken with BBUGirl for months, every single day. The night on the beach still haunts my dreams, and I’m still searching for her.
Aren’t I?
I take another step back away from her and move towards my car.
“It was great to see you tonight, Ella. See you around.”
My hand grips the strap of my bag, and I stride over to my car and hop in quickly.
Once alone in the dark quietness, I lay my head on the steering wheel before starting it up.
I have no idea what to do about my racing heart or what decisions to make about my future.