Chapter 16 All Is Not Lost
Esteban
“There’s nothing we can do. The restraining order is clear.” Dad folded the letter I brought to his law office.
I stared at it, then at his unwavering gaze. “Fuck!” I took the letter from him.
Dad intertwined his hands and leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry. You’re banned from the hospital. You need to stay away from Dr. Fernández. Otherwise, you’ll be arrested.”
I clenched my fist over the paper. “And you’re sure there’s nothing we can do?”
Dad exhaled and shook his head. “No, son. That man knew what he was doing. The moment you lost it, he got exactly what he wanted.”
I punched the desk. “How stupid could I be? How could I fall for such a dumb trick?”
Dad stood. “I’m not condoning the way you handled it, but I would have done the same or worse.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I’m tired of his shit.” I looked to heaven for strength, then pocketed the wrinkled letter. I leaned forward, palms on his desk. “Help me figure something out.”
Dad nodded. “We won’t stop fighting. From what you told me, he verbally assaulted you. We can use that, but for now, we need to keep calm.” He came to my side and gripped my shoulder. “Listen to me. Maybe the best thing you can do is stay away for now.”
I stepped away from him, my nails biting into my palms. “So I just stop visiting? Is that what you’re saying?”
Dad straightened. “I am.”
I paced around the office. “He’s my husband-to-be. I can’t just abandon him.”
My heart thundered. There had to be a way.
“I’m on your side, but you need to lie low.”
I stopped and willed my body to relax. “I won’t give up, Dad. I won’t let his father win. I’ll find a way to Robbie.” I left without looking back.
“These are so good.” The guava sauce hit my taste buds with a wave of sweetness that made me close my eyes. I thought mixing sweet and salty flavors would be dreadful, but it wasn’t. It was quite good.
Stephany raised an eyebrow. “Robbie told you a million times, and you never believed him.”
My heart stammered.
I dropped the wing but quickly picked it up. After months of Robbie’s pressuring me to try these wings, I only did so after the accident. Now I’d give anything to share this moment with him.
“Fuck. I’m sorry.” Steph fidgeted with her cleaning cloth. “I’m such an idiot.”
I shook my head. “It’s true, you know, what they say. You never know what you have until you lose it.” I raked a rebel hair away from my forehead. I hadn’t cut it since the accident, and it was becoming a nuisance.
“No. That won’t do,” Eva said from the truck. “You’re fucking wrong, and you know it. You haven’t lost him. He will wake up. Robbie will be here with us before we know it.”
A beam of hope. That’s what Eva was. If there was something she hated, it was pessimism. I guess that’s why she married Stephany, the happiest person on the planet.
I grabbed my beer and took a sip, remembering all the times I’d sat in this same spot with Robbie, just chilling out and drinking beer. A floating sensation took over me, and, for a moment, I let myself think he’d soon be sitting right here with me as if nothing had happened.
Then his father’s face flashed through my mind, crumbling my newfound hope. I stood. “I should leave.”
Stephany grabbed my arm. “You seem off. Did something happen at the hospital?”
I breathed hard and fast, not because of the intense heat wave that was hitting the island, but because whatever hope Eva was talking about was vanishing before my eyes. I kicked the floor. “It’s his father. I…attacked him.”
Eva was out of the kitchen in a second. “What the fuck did he do now?”
If there was someone who wanted to teach Robbie’s father a lesson, it was Eva. She hated his guts. He’d always act like she didn’t exist when she visited. He slipped homophobic comments here and there to fuck with her. The man was a bully.
I took a breath, preparing for her inevitable outburst. “First, I’m no longer Robbie’s proxy.”
She widened her eyes. “But he can’t.”
I shrugged and looked down at my beer. “He can.” I scratched at the bottle label, my mind numb. I hadn’t slept well since the fight. “He questioned its legitimacy.”
She clenched her fists. “Asshole. I should’ve kicked his ass when I had the chance.” She frowned. “I get you were mad, but—”
“Then he said he was going to make sure I never saw Robbie again and called me a faggot.”
I jumped as Eva’s fist hit the wooden table. “I’ll fucking break his face.”
I chuckled because even as sad and frustrated as I was, Eva was so much like me that it was surreal. “I already did.”
“Did he press charges?” Her tone was low, caring. “When did this happen?”
I scratched my growing stubble. “Last week, but he did something far worse.”
Stephany stood next to Eva. “What did he do?”
“Yesterday I received a restraining order.” I slumped my shoulders. “I can’t be near Robbie’s father or enter the hospital.”
Silence and a deep stillness fell upon us, then Eva’s arms were around me. I let my tears fall freely as she whispered soothing words.
A couple of beers later, Stephany was the one to break the silence.
She tilted her head toward the Mexican food truck. “Did you talk to Carmen?”
It was already late, and the park was about to close after salsa classes. She was in line.
I frowned. “What about?”
Stephany leaned forward, watching her. “She works the graveyard shift.” A mischievous smirk was plastered on her face. “Maybe she can sneak you in.”
Suddenly, the night seemed brighter. Why the hell hadn’t I thought of that? But then…
I shook my head. “She could get in trouble.” I wrinkled my brow. “Damn. Me too.” I could get arrested for trying something like that, but at the same time…
Stephany sneered. “Do you know Carmen at all?”
I smiled.
Carmen hated injustice and, as a bisexual woman, was an advocate for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community.
Her boyfriend accompanied her to all of our activities and was studying law to open a firm specifically for defending our rights.
So she and Gustavo loved to break society’s mold and fight the system in any way possible.
A jolt of energy swept through me. “It might work.” I had to see him.
Eva grabbed my forearm. “Let’s go.”
I widened my eyes. “You mean now?” God, was I ready to risk it all? I swallowed my doubts. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
We rushed through the crowd until we were met by Carmen’s lovely face. Her smile and red lips were captivating, and her short, flowy red dress was a sight to behold.
“Eva!” She kissed her cheek and then threw her arms around me. “Esteban, I’m so happy to see you. I heard about what happened. I’m so sorry. Please. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
I hugged her back. Some of my worries eased at her words. Maybe she could help me. I took her hands and gathered my courage. “There is. Can we sit?”
She nodded. “Let me finish my order.”
I glanced around. Gustavo talked to a couple.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me to a table. “Gustavo is asking one of our couple friends if they want to go to Kweens and see the show, then SW later. Are you up for that?”
I looked toward Eva.
She was quick to nod. “I’ll ask Steph.”
I took her hand, stopping her mid-step. “I haven’t been to a club since before the accident.” A heavy feeling overtook me.
She brushed her palm over my cheek. “Hon, we’ll go as friends. Talk. Have a good time. Robbie would be happy to see you live a little.”
I held my tears back. Robbie loved clubbing and having fun. “Fine. But just for an hour or so.”
She squeezed my shoulder. “If we get there and you want to leave, we’ll leave. Okay?”
I swallowed hard. “Okay.”
Gustavo came to Carmen’s side and shook my hand. “Great to see you, man. It’s been a long time.”
“It has. How are your studies going?”
He grunted. “Some classes are boring as fuck, but I do like them. One more semester, and I’m done.” He patted my shoulder. “How are you holding up?”
Most days, it took everything in me to get out of bed. I kept telling myself Robbie would wake up, that things would settle back into place. I was holding on for him.
“Just barely,” I mumbled.
Carmen intertwined her arm with Gustavo’s and kissed his cheek. “I was inviting them to come with us.”
Gustavo smiled. “Good. Edgar and Maria are coming too.”
Carmen clapped. “Perfect. We’ll go after we eat.”
Gustavo walked ahead with their friends, while I was by Carmen’s side.
“I can’t believe they’re forbidding you to visit. We have to find a way to fight it.” Her high heels clicked against the sidewalk, her footsteps matching her outrage.
I cleared my throat. I had to ask her. “Carmen, what I’m about to ask from you is not only illegal but could put your job at risk if they catch us.”
She stopped, raised an eyebrow, then wrapped her arm around mine. “You’ve piqued my interest.” She pulled me closer. “Anything for you and Robbie.”
I smiled. She was an angel.
“God, how do I put this?” I glanced at Gustavo. Would he defend me if it came to that? I bit my lip. “Is there any way you can sneak me in during your shift so I can see him?”
She grinned, her perfect white teeth shining in the moonlight. “My friend, I’ll make it happen.”
“We’re here!” Gustavo pointed to Kweens. “The bouncer just told me the show hasn’t started yet.” He opened the door for us.
Carmen gripped my arm. “Come on.”
Music boomed around us as we walked toward the stage.
Carmen sat on a sofa. “Let’s plan this shit before the show starts.”
I grabbed my ibuprofen. My head was pounding and about to explode. I hadn’t drunk this much in a while and had to call in sick to A Coffee Away.
After Kweens, we hopped to SW, where we had a blast dancing and drinking.
I missed Robbie every minute, but Steph and Eva stayed by my side, making sure I was okay.
I called it a night at 12:30 a.m., as did Eva and Steph, but Carmen and Gustavo remained with their friends. It was Carmen’s night off.
I had fun, but it wasn’t the same.
Carmen said she could sneak me in through a back door. I’d dress up as a nurse and walk in. She said no one would bat an eye. That it would work.
I grabbed my comforter, going into my little cocoon and hugging Robbie’s pillow. I breathed in his scent. Not a moment passed that I didn’t think of him.
“I’ll see you soon, my love. I won’t give up on us.”