Mending My Past
Robbie
“Mom? Can we come over?” My voice quaked as I waited for her answer.
Mom texted Esteban last night. She wanted to see us both today at their home in Condado. She promised Dad wouldn’t be there, that it would only be the three of us.
“Oh, Robbie,” she said in a soft tone. “I’m so glad you called. I texted Esteban because I want you two to come over. I want to talk to you both. Can you come by for lunch?”
I licked my lips, my mouth dry. “Sure. We’ll be there.”
“I love you, son.”
I sighed. “Love you too.” I hung up.
The sun was rising, painting the heavens in sweet pastels. I rubbed my nape as I sensed a headache was about to hit me.
Esteban came out of the bathroom. “What did she say?” He sat beside me and kneaded my shoulders and neck.
I moaned and relaxed into him. “She wants us to come for lunch.”
He hugged me from behind. “Then we’ll be there.”
Mom swung the door open before I had time to knock. She threw her arms around me and held me tight. “Oh, Robbie, I’m so glad you came.” She kissed my cheek, then turned to Esteban. She opened her arms. “Come here, boy.”
Esteban smiled and walked into her embrace.
She took both of our hands. “Thanks for coming.” She guided us inside.
The table was set for three. A traditional Christmas lunch was before us. Pasteles. Arroz con gandules. Pernil. Even coquito.
My mouth watered.
It was mid-December, and we still hadn’t had a taste of Christmas with all that was going on.
Esteban’s gaze swept across the table. “Thank you, Mrs. Fernández. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”
Mom waved in dismissal. “It’s no trouble at all. After all you’ve been through, this is the least I could do.” She gestured to the chairs. “Now come. Sit.”
We sat next to each other, with her opposite us.
Mom folded her hands in prayer, then lifted her gaze to me, as if asking permission.
I nodded.
“Thank you, Lord, for this food. Thank you for bringing my son back and for this incredible man sitting beside him.” She made the sign of the cross. “Dig in. We’ll talk later over coffee.”
We sat on the patio, facing the pool. We each had a cup of black coffee. The weather was cool. The Christmas breeze was already here.
“First of all, I want to apologize for my dreadful behavior.” She darted her eyes between us. “Your dad and I joined a group.” She took a deep breath. “It’s a kind of support group to help parents understand your community. They give us guidance and a safe space to learn without judgment.”
My heart stopped. Did I hear right? “Sorry. You said Dad is going with you?”
She nodded. “I talked him into it. Told him that if he didn’t go, he would not only lose you but me as well. He knows you’re here, but after all he did to you, he thought it was best for him to stay away. He’s still struggling to understand.”
Esteban squeezed my hand. His touch helped me center my thoughts.
Was my father making an effort?
I put down my coffee and bent forward, rubbing my eyes.
Esteban caressed my back. “Has he changed his mind about me?”
I peeked sideways.
Mom shrugged. “He’s trying. Just yesterday he nodded when the therapist asked if we understood that two men could love each other.”
I widened my eyes. “You’re sure of this?”
“One hundred percent.” She grabbed her cup with both hands and blew on the scorching coffee.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but in the car, he said he was astonished at how Esteban never gave up.
He said he had to love you to risk arrest when he sneaked into the hospital.
That was the first time he recognized it—the love between you two.
But he still couldn’t accept it. Not then. ”
I raked my hair back, then clenched my fingers over the back of my head. After all he’d done, could he really be changing? “I don’t know if I can forgive him.”
Esteban made circles on my back. “I don’t know either, but maybe with time I could.”
I frowned at him. “You’d forgive him? After all he did to you?”
His pained stare shifted to Mom, then back to me. “I’m not saying I’ll forget, but maybe we can tolerate each other. After all, soon we’ll be family.”
Mom gasped and looked at our hands. We both had rings. Esteban had given me one exactly like the first.
She grinned. “I’m so happy for you. When will it be?”
I still hadn’t figured out how to ask them to come. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I wanted them there after all they did. But now that they were trying to make amends…
“We’re getting married on January 1. You should come,” Esteban said.
I straightened and gripped his hand. “Are you sure?”
He covered my hand with both of his and kissed it. “I am. Let’s move forward. Put this behind us. If we don’t, it will only bring pain.”
Tears threatened to fall, and I let them.
Esteban hugged me, only letting go when I was ready.
We smiled at Mom.
“Mom, come to our wedding. Bring Dad if he wants to, but don’t make him. If he does, I want it to be of his own accord.” A great weight lifted from me, one that had suffocated me for so long.
Mom wiped her eyes, her sobs soft as she watched us. “Thank you. I’ll talk to him. I only wish the best for you both.”
I breathed freely as we finished our coffees in the light of a new day.