Chapter 9
S imon had been certain that Hannah entering his bedchamber was a dream. It would not be the first time—nor even the hundredth time—he had dreamed such an occurrence. It was only when her hand landed on his chest—firm, warm and undeniably real—that he understood this was not a dream.
This was a fantasy come true.
Any thought of being the better man and sending Hannah away evaporated when she confessed that she wanted him. He was not strong enough to resist her anymore.
He wanted to pull her into his arms and take all that she offered with a ferocity that only years of longing could stoke, but a fantasy come true was not the time for speed.
No, this was the time to take it slow and savour every individual second of what was happening.
He had wanted this to happen for so long, and he was determined to enjoy it.
And determined that Hannah would enjoy it very, very much.
“Sit next to me,” he requested, and she settled next to him on the bed, the soft curve of her hip pressing against his thigh. He gently cupped her jaw, fingers threading into her loose silky hair as his thumb stroked her plump bottom lip. “Our first kiss was quite a disaster.”
Her smile faltered. “I apologize. I did not—”
He pressed his thumb over both her lips to silence her. “I am not censuring you. It is only that our first kiss happened for the wrong reason. Unfortunately, it was the same for our second kiss. For our third, I want us to do it properly.”
She nodded eagerly, and he took her face in both hands, finally properly kissing Hannah Talbot.
Without shock or anger crowding his mind, he could finally experience the softness of her full lips, relish their slight quivering as they parted, and she kissed him back.
No underlying plan. No tactics or manipulation.
This was a kiss she wanted to give. To him. Born from desire for him, which he was more than happy to stoke even higher.
His tongue grazed her own and Hannah shivered, leaning into him as she opened herself to his explorations. He groaned as the front of her dressing gown brushed against his bare chest, but she was still too far away. He wanted to feel her properly as he devoured her mouth.
An easy enough problem to remedy.
She broke their kiss with a squeal of surprise as he wrapped his arms around her and hauled her into his lap.
“Simon!”
She was the most beautiful sight he had ever had the pleasure to witness. Her gold hair wildly cascaded over her shoulders, her lips swollen from his kiss. Her blue dressing gown had loosened at the collar ties, parting down the centre to reveal a swath of smooth bare skin and the inner curves of her breasts.
“Hannah, are you naked beneath the gown?” he croaked out.
She nodded. “I thought it would be more economical.”
He grew light-headed as his cock, which had already been well on its way to an aroused state, hardened painfully fast.
Hannah. Naked. In my bed.
It was enough to bring him close to spilling on the sheets.
But he was not about to let this heady moment end so quickly. He was determined to savour this.
“Might you do me a favour, Hannah?” She nodded. “Would you pull back one of the drapes so we might have more light in the room? I would do it myself, but walking is not feasible right now.”
“Have you hurt yourself?” she asked with concern.
“No. It is only…when a man enters a certain state, walking can be difficult.”
“Oh,” was her reply and then she went to the window, tying back the drape to allow dawn to flood the room with its soft light. Hannah was silhouetted against the window, her hair a golden halo around her, a beautiful angel come to relieve him.
Yes, this was perfect.
“Thank you.” He held out a hand to her, which she accepted as she stepped back to the side of the bed. “Another favour would be that you remove your dressing gown now.”
Her cheeks turned pink, the colour moving down her chest that was already bared to him and he knew beneath the gown it was spreading across her breasts.
She looked over her shoulder to the sunlight, trepidation flashing across her face before turning back to him with a seductive grin. “If you will see all of me, I want to see all of you.”
He did not even think before tossing off the linens and counterpane to reveal himself in all his naked glory. So intent on giving her whatever she asked for, he did not consider that showing himself in such an aroused state might be a bit intimidating for a first glance.
Her shocked gasp as she stared at his erection made him simultaneously proud and guilty. Another heady mix of emotions that made him light-headed, which was only made worse when she licked her lips as she studied his manhood.
“Hannah,” he croaked out, finally drawing her attention from his lap to his face. “It is your turn now.”
She blinked in confusion for a moment before remembering their agreement. She took a deep breath to steel herself and he was proud of her for her bravery as she pulled the ties on her dressing gown and the garment fell from her shoulders.
He had fantasized about what she would look like naked so many times, but his imaginings were nothing compared to reality. Her pert breasts were tipped with swollen nipples nearly the same shade as her skin, her stomach a delightful curve with the dip of her navel in the centre, a triangle of tawny curls nestled between her plump thighs.
“You are beautiful, Hannah,” he rasped out.
“So are you,” she replied dreamily, and he realized she had been appreciating his body as much as he had been appreciating hers. Which made him ready to preen like a peacock.
Cock of the walk indeed.
She accepted his hand, and he gently guided her down onto the bed. He settled beside her, propping himself up with one arm so he could look down upon her.
“Do you know what happens now, Hannah?” he asked as he let his free hand twirl a lock of her hair around a finger.
“Yes,” she said. “Sarah explained it all to me years ago.”
“And did anyone show you?”
He could not bring himself to say John’s name, yet he needed to know. They had been engaged, intent on marrying, so it would not be unheard of for them to have had relations before the wedding.
“No, John and I…” Hannah shook her head. “It never went that far.”
“I’m aware he kissed you, but did he touch you?”
Her averted gaze spoke volumes.
Simon cupped her breast, letting the small weight settle into his palm, her nipple tightening in response.
“I am not upset,” he assured her. “I only want to know so that I do not surprise you with anything. Did he touch your breasts like this, Hannah?”
He could feel her heartbeat thumping frantically as he squeezed her breast, and she finally nodded. He hummed to acknowledge her answer, circling his thumb over her nipple, making her suck in a sharp breath.
“You have truly fantastic breasts, Hannah,” he said, shifting himself around so both his hands could cup them, and she arched into his touch. She made such a pretty picture with her hair spread around her, her sapphire eyes dark with arousal, full lips parted on a sigh as he stroked her.
Her nipples were so perfectly puckered, begging for a kiss, and he leaned down to press his mouth to the tight flesh, making Hannah moan.
“Did he do that?” Simon mouthed against her skin before he moved to the other breast.
“Yes,” Hannah sighed as her fingers threaded through his hair, nails scratching his scalp as she clutched him.
“And this?”
He circled the tip of his tongue around her taunt flesh before taking it between his lips and suckling.
She arched into him. “Yes!”
“And what about this?”
He took a nipple between his teeth, nipping at her. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make her cry out. The hand in his hair tightened to pull him closer.
“No!” Hannah panted, and he grinned against her breast.
He knew it was wrong, this rivalry with a ghost, but John’s presence hung heavy between them. A quiet joy bloomed in his chest to know he was the one bringing her into this unfamiliar territory.
Now, what other delights might he show her?
He settled his palm on the curve of her stomach, smiling against her breast when she gasped and undulated beneath his hand, goosebumps pebbling the smooth skin. He moved his hand in a slow circle, letting her get used to his touch as his mouth teased her breasts.
She hummed in pleasure, her eyes drifting closed as her head dropped back on the bed, her fingers softly brushing through his hair. His hand continued its gentle movement, circling lower and lower until he reached the junction of her thighs.
“Did he touch you here?” he asked as her eyes flipped open in surprise when he cupped her mound. He only held her, her tawny curls teasing at his palm. Hannah pressed up against him, perhaps not even conscious she was doing it. “Did he, Hannah?”
“Yes,” she croaked out, her eyes closed tight whether from shame or fear, he did not know, but he would assure her either way.
He kissed her tenderly. “I do not blame him. You are exquisite, Hannah. It would be impossible for a man to keep his hands off of you. I know that all too well myself.”
He parted her curls with a finger, finding her warm and wet, a beautiful paradise that he tentatively explored. He watched and listen to her intently, learning what touches made her head thrash on the bed and what pressure pulled joyous whimpers from her. His fingers went to the hard pearl at the top of her sex, giving it a proper circle and sending her hips arching off the bed in shock.
“Is that what you wanted from me, Hannah?” he asked with a dark chuckle as his finger dipped down to circle her entrance, testing at it as he slipped inside up to the first knuckle.
“Simon, Simon, Simon…”
His cock throbbed to hear his name spill from her lips as he finally had a part of himself inside her. He could not help but grind his hard length against her hip, groaning at the sensation as he continued to stroke her sex.
When her thighs fell open to him, he kissed his way down her body, letting his tongue circle her navel as he moved to settle his shoulders between her splayed legs. Yet the moment he shifted over, Hannah sat up, her thighs coming together to hide herself.
“What are you doing?” she asked. The look of pure confusion on her face told Simon he did not need to ask if this was something she had done with John.
“Something that I know you have never experienced.” She looked down at him with trepidation and he smoothed a hand along the outside of her leg. “Do you trust me, Hannah?”
“Yes.”
“Then spread your legs for me and I will show you the most fantastic experience of your life.”
She did not hesitate then, legs parting to reveal her most intimate place to him. He was deeply grateful for her trust, the quiet intimacy of her vulnerability a precious gift. It made him even more determined to make this the most remarkable experience of her life.
He started with soft kisses on her inner thighs, letting his breath tease at her curls as he settled her thighs on his shoulders. She moaned, opening wider for him, and he nipped gently at her inner thigh in appreciation. His hands settled on her thighs, spreading her perfectly for him before he kissed her properly.
She let out a squeal of surprise but did not try to escape, and that was when his feast began.
He licked and sucked and nibbled at her sensitive flesh, paying particular attention to that swollen bud as he eased his fingers within her slick channel, intent on not only pleasuring her but preparing her for what was to come.
He looked up her body to find her hands fisting the linens as she watched him taste her. They held one another’s gaze as he worked hard to drive her to her release. That feral part of him roared with delight when her thighs squeezed tight around his head, muffling his hearing so he only felt the vibrations through her body as she hurled over the edge on a keening wail.
He continued to suck and lick as she rode out the sensations, her body strung tight like a bow before finally collapsing back against the bed. Simon grinned as he moved her legs from his shoulders, her body languid as he positioned himself above her.
She giggled, lazy arms wrapping around him and pulling him into a kiss, not minding his wet face at all, which only made his cock throb harder.
Damnit, he was not like to last long in this state.
“Are you ready for the rest?” he asked her.
“I am ready for you, Simon.”
“It will go fast from here,” he warned her as he shifted, lining the head of his cock up with her entrance. Her wetness and heat tore a guttural moan from him as he pressed forward. Despite his fear of embarrassing himself, he could not stop. She enveloped him, bringing him home.
Although this was something he had wanted for so long, when pain twisted up Hannah’s face, he immediately stilled.
“I’m sorry,” he panted out. “Oh, Hannah, I did not mean—”
“I am fine,” she assured him. “Only give me a moment to become accustomed to it.”
That was easy enough now. The perfect cure to his hyper arousal was having hurt her. His erection was flagging now, although he knew it would not take much for him to become aroused once again. Which gave him an idea of what might help Hannah.
His hand slipped between them and sought out that pearl just above where they were joined, circling it and earning a pleasant sigh from Hannah. He stroked her patiently, her internal muscles fluttering around him, reigniting his arousal, but he waited until she moved her hips, searching for more from him as her legs wrapped around him.
That was his signal to move, pulling back and then thrusting into her slowly, watching even the tiniest movement on her face for any signs of pain, but she only clung to him tighter, her hips following his own.
“Simon…”
Hannah moaning his name was music to his ears, and he began to move in earnest.
It then became a race to make her come again before he did. Thankfully, he had a talent for completing many tasks at once. He moved his hips in the same rhythm as his fingers, stroking her in all the ways he could, wanting her to never doubt that tonight had been the most pleasurable of her life.
It did not take long for his hand to work Hannah up to her release, her sex clenching so hard around him, his vision went black and his own release came upon him with an intensity he had never experienced before. He was certain the walls rattled with the echo of his booming cry as he spilled himself inside her.
He kept enough sense to collapse next to her instead of letting his weight fall on her, but he kept his arms wrapped around her, not wanting to let her go.
When one finally achieved their dream, the thought of giving it a chance to slip away was horrifying.
“Will you stay here with me?” he asked as he nuzzled into her hair.
“I could not move to save my life,” she said as she snuggled into his side, “But I would not want to even if I could.”
A sigh of pure contentment escaped his lips as he held her close, her small body fitting perfectly against his, exactly where she belonged.
***
Morning came early for Hannah.
Or rather, afternoon came early, as it had already been early morning when she fell asleep.
In her husband’s bed!
It felt odd. She had been married for more than a month now. In all that time, she had signed her correspondence as Mrs. Langley and responded to the name when others spoke it. Yet waking in Simon’s bed was the first time she truly felt like Mrs. Langley.
She rolled onto her side to regard her husband, who still slept soundly next to her. The sun had moved to the other side of the house so the light through the window was soft, casting him in grey shadows. Dark stubble covered his jaw, his tousled locks free from pomade and spilling across his forehead. He looked much younger like this. For the first time in a long while, she saw the boy she had known once upon a time.
And now she was nude in his bed. The young girl she had been once upon a time would never believe it.
That girl had been in love with John since she had first learned what love was. The idea she would marry anyone else would have seemed an impossibility to that girl, and yet here she was.
Well, better Simon than Lord Lansdowne. She could not imagine doing what she had done last night with Lord Lansdowne.
Heat filled her cheeks as she thought of what she had let Simon do to her. The memories compelled her to move, suddenly unable to stay still as she tried to silence the fit of nervous giggles that came upon her.
She tiptoed from the bed, wrapping herself in her dressing gown before she poked her head out the door to ensure the corridor was clear. Thankfully, no servants were in sight and she crossed to her own rooms, finding her bed already made, although it had not actually been slept in.
Obviously, the staff were already aware of the alteration of sleeping arrangements. At least she would not have to awkwardly pretend she slept in her bed when she rang for her maid.
Archer arrived with a tea service and buttered toast, leaving it for Hannah as she informed her that hot water was being brought up for a bath.
A competent maid, as that sounded heavenly to Hannah.
With no plans for the evening, there was no rush for her to get dressed. She would indulge and enjoy a long soak and a bit of pampering today with little guilt.
In fact, there was no reason to feel any guilt. She was a properly married woman now and mistress of this house. If she wanted to spend the entire day and night languishing about, she could.
For the first time in her life, she had the power to make her own choices instead of doing what others told her.
Last night’s choice had yielded the most passionate, transformative experience of her life. It had been perfect. Magical. A wonder beyond wonders.
At least, she thought so. Although her basis for comparison was scant.
What if Simon feels differently? What if it was disappointing for him?
He had seemed to enjoy himself, but she lacked the experience to judge. What if she had done something wrong and did not even know it? What if he had been worried she would want to do it again, so he feigned sleep in hopes of avoiding her?
No, she was overreacting and allowing her thoughts to run out of control. Perhaps a day of lazing around was not the best for her if idle time meant her thoughts were like to run away from her.
She would be better off finding something to occupy her mind while she took her bath. Embroidery would not work in the bath, but perhaps something to read. Was there any correspondence she overlooked?
She went to her writing desk where she had put her letters from Sarah and her sisters and caught the sight of the stack of letters she had found hidden in the library.
She had become so engrossed in her new life with Simon that she had forgotten about the mystery of the letters entirely.
She pulled a letter free from the stack, settling into the chair as she unfolded it and began to read.
Dearest P,
I write this in haste before I join you and the other guests in the drawing room. Seeing you conjures up such a tumult of emotions. I can only find grounding by capturing my thoughts in ink, plucking them one by one from the storm until it dies out so that I might be able to once again occupy the same room as you without betraying my secret.
Is this the Almighty Lord testing my honour and morality so that I might be admitted to His Kingdom? What a tragic farce that I am captivated by someone so devoted to my most beloved brother.
It has become apparent to me in these last weeks that you have fallen for him. My suit is lost before it ever had a chance.
If it were anyone but him, I might contemplate stealing you away, but I could never do that to either of you.
He loves you as much as I do. Not more, however. He could not love you more than I, for he has your love. I must love you enough for both of us.
My thoughts are calmer now and I will bid you adieu here as I must join you in the drawing room and pretend I do not see you stand too close to a man who makes you smile as if he is the only person who exists in the world.
With Deepest Devotion,
Your Faithful Officer
Hannah was left bewildered by the Officer’s inability to confess his feelings to Miss P beyond the confines of his letters. He held such passionate love for her. How could the confession not burst from him the moment he was in her presence?
And he owed it to Miss P to be honest with her. It only seemed fair that a woman should be told when a man was in love with her. After all, how was she to decide on something as significant as marriage if she did not have all the information?
There was a knock on the door and Hannah offhandedly bid the maid enter as she reached for another letter.
“It is Simon,” came the muffled voice through the door.
Hannah sat up much straighter, surprised he was at her door. Which he must have expected, considering he did not open the door despite her telling him to enter before. He was giving her a chance to make herself presentable before he came in. How gentlemanly.
She ran a hand over her hair to smooth it down, ensuring her dressing gown was closed and covering her appropriately. Although it did seem unnecessary to worry about looking appropriate before Simon, considering what had already transpired between them.
“Please enter,” she said, turning to face him as he came through the door. “Good morning. Or afternoon, I suppose. I am uncertain what one says when they wake at such a late hour.”
Simon wore a banyan and his curls were in organized disarray, as if he had made a quick attempt with his hands to comb through it, but his face was still unshaven. He had not taken much time between waking and coming to her room.
“Good afternoon,” he said. “I wanted to ensure that…well, you were gone when I woke, and I thought…are you well?”
His nervousness calmed her. “I am very well. I returned to my rooms because…well, to be honest, I was awake and had the urge to move. Then I realized that with no engagements, I was free to indulge in pampering. A long soak in a warm bath to begin with.”
That she had been distracting herself from worrying he had been disappointed in her was not something she would confess.
“Good. That is good,” he said, although his posture said it was not. He was tense as he lingered near the door, as if he was afraid to come further into the room. His eyes would not stay on her, darting about the room as if he had never seen it before.
Perhaps he had not. It had been sparsely furnished when she first arrived. Perhaps he had never been inside, or perhaps he had been here before and was surprised by her changes.
“This is your first time you have been in my rooms since I arrived,” she said. “I have not changed much. I had some of the furniture moved around and replaced that hideous ochre rug with the rose one from one of the guest rooms. I assumed you would not object; however, I can have the footmen restore it if you do.”
He looked at her in surprise. “No, I do not mind at all. You must put whatever rug you want wherever you want. Or buy new rugs if you feel that is best. This is your house, of course.”
His gaze was off on another venture around the room, never staying anywhere in particular.
“Is there something you are looking for?” she asked.
He winced and he looked at her again with a mixture of sheepishness and something she could not quite pinpoint, but it warmed her.
“It is only that I am not accustomed to seeing you in such a dishevelled state.”
He gestured to her hair, and she turned to check herself in the standing mirror near her dressing table. She had never plaited it before she fell asleep and had left it down since she intended to have a bath. It was in a bit of disarray, but did not look all that horrible.
“I apologize,” she said, lifting a self-conscious hand to her hair.
“No!” He stepped forward, a beseeching hand held out to her. “It is not a bad thing. Or rather, you should not apologize. I do not…you are beautiful like this and I find myself at a loss for words. I wanted to ensure you are well after last night, but I am distracted when I look at you.”
The honesty of his sentiment reminded her of the poetry found in the letters on her desk.
“Thank you,” she replied, cheeks flushing, utterly flattered at his words. “And I can assure you I am quite well after last night. I enjoyed myself very much.”
That strange light in his eyes flared again, her body heating in response, and she finally recognized the light for what it was: desire.
Oh, she had been a fool not to see it before.
“It does me good to hear that,” he said, his voice raspy now, the tension in his body gone as he properly entered the room. “I quite enjoyed myself as well.”
That did her good to hear. She had not disappointed him.
They stared at one another for a long moment before he noticed the letters on her desk. “Were you writing to anyone in particular?”
“I had been looking for something to read while I soaked in the tub and came upon those letters I discovered in the library.”
“Ah yes, I forgot to tell you,” he said. “I looked into the man who owned the house before I purchased it. Sir Archibald Campbell. No female relation within his immediate family with a name beginning with P.”
“I suppose that would be too easy an answer to the mystery,” she said.
“You should speak with Lady Mount,” he said. “She has lived next door for at least fifty years. If anyone would know the history of the residents here, it would be her.”
“But would she be willing to speak about them to a stranger?”
“As Lady Mount is known to be the biggest gossip in the ton , I am certain she would.”
A giggle burst out, but then she cut it off, giving him an admonishing look. “Simon, you should not speak so ill of a lady, particularly an elderly one.”
“Why, I am merely quoting what Lady Mount told me about herself verbatim,” Simon grinned. “She would be angry at me if I did not directly quote her self-assessment.”
“I shall have to call on her tomorrow then.” She looked down at the letters forlornly. “I do want to return them to their owner if possible. Or even the writer if we can discover him. I think he would like to have the letters back. He seems quite the romantic sort. He dashed off this letter as he could not bear to be in the same room as his love without putting his feelings in writing. I suppose it must be quite lonely to live with unspoken love in one’s heart.”
“Lonely?” Simon repeated. “I imagine there are many people who must live with unspoken love in their heart. We do not exactly live in a world that allows everyone to be honest with their emotions.”
“I suppose that is true,” she conceded with a frown. “It must be torture to stay silent like that. And it does not seem fair to Miss P either. The Officer should not keep something so important from her.”
“But he wrote that Miss P was in love with another man. How could he sour their happiness with his selfish need to unburden himself of unrequited love?”
“But what if it was not unrequited? What if she felt the same thing?”
He shook his head. “A man knows when a woman has feelings for him.”
She gave him a skeptical look. “Women can be as mysterious as men.”
“Oh, I do not argue that point. I simply believe that a man has more experience in figuring out even the most mysterious woman’s true feelings.”
“Is that so?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and leaned back in her chair. “And what are my true feelings right now?”
He stepped before her, giving her a long, assessing look from head to toe. “Annoyance and a need to prove me wrong.”
“Lucky guess.”
He braced a hand on the desk, leaning close; she responded by tilting her head back to meet his gaze. “No, it is simply that I have known you for so long that you could never be a mysterious woman to me.”
“And yet you have never seen me with my hair down,” she teased, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I believe I have a few mysteries you do not know.”
“Before last night, that was true. However, I have seen them all in perfect detail now,” he said, desire flaring in his eyes again as they slid over her body. “I have memorized every inch of you, Hannah. You cannot hide anything from me now.”
She was thankful she was seated, her body responding so fiercely, her knees knocked together as she throbbed between her thighs. The intensity was completely new, yet she embraced it with a delighted shiver.
She did not mind being exposed to Simon if it was like this.
“Madam, the—oh! Forgive me! I did not know you were here, sir!” The maid stood frozen in the doorway, eyes on the floor. “I was only coming to tell Mrs. Langley that her bath is ready in her dressing room.”
“Thank you, Archer,” Hannah called out. “I shall be there in a moment.”
Hannah heard more than saw Archer leave, her attention consumed by Simon, who was still gazing at her with an intensity that made her ache. “Tell me, does your maid wash your back for you?”
“No. I do it myself.”
“But there must be places you miss?” He reached out to glide a finger over her bare shoulder. “I would be a poor husband if I did not offer my services to ensure you do not miss a single spot.”
Hannah let the shoulder of her dressing gown slip down further to show even more skin. “I think I would like that.”
Simon’s smile was feral, dark eyes turning black as his pupils blew wide, and before she knew it, she was hauled into his arms and carried her off to the dressing room, Hannah giggling all the way.
It was good to know that last night changed nothing between them.
No, that was not quite true. Things had changed between them, but for the better.
Change was not always a bad thing.