Chapter 5
Kelcey
Boss Lucy paused at my desk on her way to her office, head back with two cups of coffee. She and Anna were so cute I wanted to cry sometimes, even just in little things like Lucy going to go get two coffees from the breakroom at once for both of them. Anna had probably wanted coffee first but waited until Lucy finished hers too so they could be on the same page. I wanted them to get married right now and invite me to the wedding. I wondered what the age limit was on being the flower girl.
“Dare I ask what’s the dreamy look, Kelce?” Lucy said, leaning against my desk.
“Just thinking about your and Anna’s wedding.”
Lucy beamed. “Well, I feel you. I’ve been spending the past few years dreaming about getting to marry her.”
I was going to scream they were so cute. I wanted that for me. Just not with Veronica Preston. Not that there was any reason I was thinking about her. Not that I was thinking about her. Not that I’d been thinking about her nonstop since I’d intentionally put up distance between me and Nic because I was hung up on her… because after all, I wasn’t.
“Can I be the flower girl?” I said, and she beamed.
“Absolutely not.”
“Oh.”
“Your presence as a bridesmaid is far too important. The wedding wouldn’t be the same without you as a bridesmaid.”
Oh my god I was going to cry. “Yeah?” I said, my voice wobbly, giving her the most totally normal look I could possibly manage and not at all a sappy puppy look.
“Of course. You’re always so good with clothes and style. We’ll probably want your help with coordinating the looks and the bridesmaid dresses, too.”
I giggled, waving my hands wildly in front of my face. “Oh my god, you’re just trying to placate me! You’re the worst, Boss Lucy. You totally should, though. Getting to help pick out outfits would be my literal dream come true.” I sat up taller. “By the way, did you have a good double date?”
“Ah, yeah. Charlie, Gould’s younger daughter’s wife, is really sweet. It was our first time meeting her. Butch lesbian with golden retriever energies. Kept trying to get doors for us and pull out chairs for us. It was sweet. Even Anna enjoyed it, but she’s too shy to admit it.”
“That’s adorable. Ugh…” I looked down at my desk. “I need to find someone so I can have cute double dates with you two, too.”
She bit down on a smile, barely suppressing it. “Sounds like you’re well on your way with Nic.”
“What—no—I’m not,” I blurted, jumping so hard I hit my knee on the desk, standing up and waving my hands wildly enough I slapped my laptop almost clear into my coffee cup, half the office looking at me. I cleared my throat, sitting back down, folding my hands in my lap. “Nic? You mean, from the videography firm? No, I don’t think so. Why do you say so? I mean, I don’t think so. He’s still kind of hung up on his ex-girlfriend anyway.”
She smiled wider. “He told you that, did he?”
“No? No. No, he didn’t,” I said, my voice going higher. “He didn’t tell me anything. He just, uh… seems… like the kind of guy who’s hung up on his ex. Um… so, how’s, um, how’s work today? For you and Anna? Everything good?”
I saw her fighting for her life not to laugh. The laugh won, just a little bit. “Everything’s great, thanks for asking. Looking forward to seeing more of your project, Kelce.”
“My project? My—project. That’s right. Yes, of course.” I had a project. I’d forgotten for a second. “Been working hard on… on the project.”
“I am sure that you have. I’m going to get back to see my girlfriend now. I’ll leave you to yours.”
“He’s a boy,” I said. “And—not my girlfriend. Or my boyfriend. Or anyone! Or anything. I mean, I’m not saying he’s nothing—that would be really rude—”
But she ignored me, walking with a pep in her step towards the office. I buried my face in my hands, sinking back in my chair.
Maybe Veronica was right. Maybe I was dumb.
Not that I was thinking about Veronica Preston or the way her cool, unbothered facade would fade when it was just the two of us in my bed or hers late at night or early in the morning, and the lights were low enough it felt like there was nothing in the world past the two of us, and we’d laugh over silly little things and talk about the things in life that made her happy and the things in life that made me happy, and I’d sigh impossibly happily and nestle closer into her arms. Never! I wasn’t spending one moment ever thinking about that.
Luckily, I had a message from Liam Danielson waiting for me when I got back from outer space and returned to my computer, something to think about other than the sound of Veronica Preston’s low, murky laugh when she was getting tired late at night and that glimmer in her soft, half-lidded eyes as she looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, because, after all, I wasn’t thinking about that.
Hey Kelcey, Nic told me things went well with the discussions yesterday. I’d like to check in on what you two talked about and figure out the specifics of what you’d like going forward. Sounds good?
Look at that, talking about business. I was such a serious professional. Not distracted by anything. I settled in, responding, Sounds perfect, I’m available for a quick checkup via call if you want or we can message.
Let’s call, get it sorted here and now.
I took the call, and he had a bright, cheerful voice when I picked up.
“Hey, Kelcey. Nice to hear from you, how are you doing?”
“Yeah, good. Great, actually. Nic and I made a lot of progress and the sample script is fantastic and my bosses are happy to go ahead with everything.”
“Perfect, yeah. She told me how the sample script had gone well.”
I blanked. “Uh. Who did?”
He paused. “Nic?”
My brain spun idly for a long time, like a machine where two gears didn’t quite meet and everything was just going around and around while the next point was waiting to be met.
“Nic, as in, like, Nic?” I said, intelligently.
“The one and only… she’s the one who helped you with the sample script, right?”
Oh my god, that was why Nic didn’t message like a typical straight man. She wasn’t a man at all. Oh my god, I’d just assumed because Nic sounded like a guy’s name but that was totally like Nicole or something too and I was—oh my god, I’d gone and told everybody he was a man. What was I supposed to say now? I had to admit to people at some point that I’d gotten it wrong, or they’d find out later and think I was even stupider. But how was I supposed to broach the subject without everybody thinking I was stupid?
“Everything okay, Kelcey?” Liam said, and I blurted, my face hot,
“Everything’s great! Just, uh… just… there’s a… big… spider on my desk. Just going to move to the breakroom. Give me one second.”
Bill at the desk next to me banged against the desk jumping up looking for the spider. I’d apologize to him later. I picked up my computer and moved with the walk of shame to the breakroom, where I got to laugh it off.
“Jeez—sorry about that. Uh—yeah! Nic. She’s amazing. Just the most amazing woman… a very lovely woman.”
“Uh… uh-huh.”
“She’s wonderful. So smart and intelligent and talented.”
“She’s the newest member of our team, but she’s been wonderful to work with. Her sister—” He paused. I raised my eyebrows, fully aware of the other two people in the breakroom giving me weird looks for taking a call in the breakroom on my laptop. Ugh, everyone thought I was an idiot.
“What about her sister?”
“Her sister is… not… around. She’s, uh, pretty close with her sister, and she’s really throwing herself into work while her sister is away. I don’t actually remember where the sister is, but… well, best not to ask about her. Nic’s pretty sensitive about the subject. Sorry, I’m, uh, I’m getting distracted.”
Okay, that sounded kind of weird. Something was up with the sister that Liam wanted secret, and under normal circumstances, I was good at letting sleeping dogs lie, but this sounded like something important to Nic, and I was so mortally embarrassed by only now realizing she was a woman that I wanted to know everything possible about her to make up for it.
And maybe if she was a woman… it was a weird thought and one I wasn’t having, but if I did let myself have the thought, I would think that she would be more able to fill the gap Veronica had left. Not that Veronica had left one. Or that I was going to get into anything with Nic. She was still hung up on her ex.
But I’d ask Nic about the sister another time. And pretend to Liam that I wouldn’t.
“Distractions are fine,” I laughed. “Nic said it’s a comfy small firm where you’re all friends and are pretty friendly with your clients, too, so, Nic and I are besties now and so you and I are friends by extension.”
“Well, sounds like you got the important primers on the situation. Let’s skip the formalities and get right into the meat and potatoes of the gig.”
Meat and potatoes. Yeah. I could work with that. Meat and potatoes. Right.
I was a mess.
∞∞∞
I kind of liked events loaded up with lights, actually. It was fun last year when we’d had our holiday party with all the lights. They’d pared back to a normal number this year, but I’d kind of liked it better the other way… maybe I’d accidentally order another few hundred boxes.
Still, the important part was that it was a big social event filled with people from all different departments alongside the investors that Anna and Lucy were trying to win over together with the guys in Outreach, and I got to take my mind off thoughts about Nic and why she’d just gone along with me calling her a man—I’d avoided the subject the past couple of days since Liam dropped the bombshell, because I was mature and loved to hide from difficult conversations—by showing up here and dressing up and being pretty and having a fun time with it all.
The event space was big and beautifully decorated, ornate columns wrapped with lights and chandeliers kept low, tables dressed in white tablecloths with tasteful gold trim, plush red carpet giving the whole space a festive feel even before the big Christmas tree had been set up in the center. I stuck close to the front, together with where Anna and Lucy were talking to the big client who’d been heavy on everyone’s radars lately, Matthew Gould, a man with a thick moustache and a Christmassy red tuxedo suit. I mostly just listened along and nodded and backed up everything Anna and Lucy said—I wasn’t really following a lot of what they were talking about, but I could show up as a hype girl—and when the company president Michael Berg showed his face for once and whisked the three of them away for something, I hung out at the edges trying to scope out who wanted to talk to me when I got jumped by Matthew Gould showing up again, sooner than expected.
“More than enough of that,” he said, dusting off his jacket, and I jolted a little, turning away from the table and back to look at where he beamed at me. “How are you doing, Miss Huntington?”
“Oh—oh, well, good. Did you finish your serious talks with Anna and Lucy already?”
He smiled warmly. “Ah… they were trying to talk business. I wasn’t feeling like talking about business right now.”
That was so understandable. Sometimes you just didn’t want to do work. Nothing wrong with that. “Well,” I said, standing up taller, beaming, “if you want to not talk about work, you came to the right person.”
He nodded. “I like your outlook on things, Miss Huntington.”
“Oh, just call me Kelcey.”
“I like your outlook on things, Kelcey.”
I waved him off. “Actually, just call me Kelce. We’re all friends here.”
“I like your outlook on things, Kelce.”
“Aren’t Anna and Lucy just the best?” I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet. “They’re my favorite bosses ever. And they’re such a cute couple.”
He chuckled. “They certainly are a handful, those two. And of course, Lucy’s grandmother Miss Charlotte is awfully charming.”
“Oh, um…” I’d met Miss Charlotte here and there, and, um, I wasn’t… well… I wasn’t the most charmed anyone had ever been. She’d kind of insulted me a lot, and I had a very thin skin. “She’s definitely… well, I admire her confidence in saying what’s on her mind!”
“They’re all so lovely. Anna’s parents as well. Have you met them?”
“Oh… uh, yeah,” I mumbled, looking away. Last time I’d seen Veronica’s and Anna’s mother Maria, she’d been insisting Veronica and I were a wonderful couple and that every couple has their bumps in the road, their little hiccups. It was hard not to think about Veronica when you had Veronica’s mother in your face telling you to go marry her daughter. “Yeah, we’ve met a couple times. They’re really nice.”
“Oh, no, not just in general. I mean here, tonight.”
“Uh?” I stood up taller, blinking fast, and I put the pieces together too late, because that was when I heard her voice come from behind me, and Matthew Gould beamed.
“Oh, Kelcey,” Maria Preston’s voice said, and I whirled back on where she and Veronica’s father Heath came strolling across the room towards us, when I was pretty sure Anna had said specifically she was telling her family not to be here this time because they weren’t supposed to—had she changed her mind? Oh, god, I wasn’t ready for this. “Hi, sweetheart. Oh, you look so beautiful in that dress.”
“Oh, um,” I started, shifting from one foot to the other. “Hi, Mrs. Preston. Hi, Mr. Preston. Thanks, it’s, um, I’m… wearing it.” That was about all I could summon to say about my dress right now, because I was mostly just looking for a way out. Maybe I could accidentally knock over a poinsettia display and run away? That might look weird. “You must be here to talk to Mr. Gould, I know how you’re all—I’ll be getting out of your way—”
Maria gave me a hug. “Oh, it’s so wonderful to see you here. I’m glad we made time to come visit.”
“I’m so glad… you did too. I didn’t know Anna invited you.”
She laughed, stepping back from the hug, giving me a conspiratorial nudge on the shoulder. “Oh, you know how it is. I get mom privileges.”
Were those… a thing? Jeez, I learned new things all the time. So anybody here could have their mom showing up at any point? I didn’t know how they kept these events in order. Also, did Anna’s dad get mom privileges too?
Heath put out a hand for Gould with a big smile, saying, “Matthew—how you been?” and clapping his hand into Gould’s for a big handshake and the kind of awkward one-armed hug men did. “Bit less bright this year, isn’t it?”
“I kind of liked it with the lights,” Gould laughed. “It was different from the usual.”
Maria laughed, like the three of them were all in on something together. “Well, it shines perfectly bright with Anna and Lucy and Veronica and Kelcey here.”
“I don’t know about all that,” I laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of my head, and it took a second longer than it should have for it to set in what she’d said, and I think I experienced full-body prolapse as my insides dropped so hard they probably wound up in the subway. “Uh. Wait. When you say Veronica, does that imply that Veronica—”
Maria turned back to me with a glowing smile. “Oh, honey. You didn’t see her yet? Oh, no,” she laughed, a hand over her mouth with a mischievous look in her eyes. “She was probably planning on surprising you. I guess I ruined it. Ah… Anna, sweetie,” she called across the room, waving her hand, and she scrunched up her face. “No, dammit. Veronica! Veronica, come here a second, will you?”
Oh, god. I had to go… home. Had to fake an illness. I went with the only plan to mind—I stumbled and whacked solidly into the poinsettia display with a thud, sending a bucket of pretty red flowers rattling and scattering over the table, and I put a hand to my forehead. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry,” I blurted. “Oh, no, I’m feeling really sick, I’ve gotta go—”
I turned and bolted in the opposite direction from where Maria was waving, everyone looking at me with furrowed brows and anxious looks—well, not Gould, for some reason, he just smiled like he was enjoying the show—and I found out I had no idea what Maria was waving at, because I’d barely gotten around the table and past the Christmas tree before I collided headlong into the girl of my dreams.
I mean nightmares. My nightmares. Bad dreams.
I thudded straight into her, not realizing at first, and I caught onto her by the arms before I took us both down, gasping and stepping back red-faced.
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry,” I blurted. “I was… uh…”
Oh my god, Veronica Preston was beautiful. Beautifully… terrible. A beautiful example of a terrible person nobody would ever want to be around.
And I was standing there in her arms, hands on her upper arms and hers on my sides steadying me, as she looked wide-eyed at me with those perfect warm brown eyes, dressed like my daydreamy teenage fantasies in a short silver flared wrap dress with stunning crystal heels and drop earrings, smoky-eye makeup making her like a daydream I wanted to get lost in, just… dreamy perfect. Nightmare dreams, that was.
“You know,” she said, not moving her hands from my sides, “if you want me to hold you, you can just ask.”
I did want her to hold me. I wanted more than anything for her to pull me in tighter right now and tell me again all the things she’d said last time and ask me again if we could try like it was the first time, and this time I’d say yes, and she’d—
She’d break my heart again. Again again again.
“Veronica,” I said, my voice soft. “Oh… I didn’t… think you’d…”
She smiled wider, a glow in her eyes. “Didn’t think I’d be here? I didn’t think you’d be here… I’m too nervous to approach you, so I—”
“I didn’t think you’d have the absolute—the absolute nerve to try to talk to me,” I said, my face heating up, and I moved without thinking about it—twisted my body and pitched her with all the force I could muster, wrenching her by the arm to get her off balance and leveraging from my back foot to fling her sidelong, clear into the Christmas tree.
She hit it with a crash and a cry of surprise, ornaments tumbling down around her and tangling in lights, and the whole room stopped to look at where the tree pitched, listed, and I watched in slow motion realizing I’d probably gone a little too far as the tree went off-balance, slowly tipping until it fell completely, dropping hard with a crash of ornaments bouncing off and rolling across the carpet, hitting tables and knocking glasses over, baubles rolling off the edges of tables and the massive star at the top of the tree fell the other way, the tree giving out underneath it and leaving it to drop squarely on Veronica, where I couldn’t see in the mess of tangled branches and lights how it hit her, but I heard from the noise she made that it absolutely did hit her.
Oh, god, I was in trouble. Boss Anna was going to murder me. Lucy was going to… laugh, but Anna was going to be so mad.