Chapter Twenty-Four
M y dress was pale blue with one dark blue seam running through it, and another that was shimmering silver.
It had wide straps, a square neckline and a skirt that floated elegantly but wasn’t too poofy.
Kira had helped me turn my shoulder-length blonde hair into a mass of curls, and acted as makeup consultant so I wasn’t too pale or remotely clownish.
Her own dress was black and red, layers of lace and chiffon, but her chunky boots and cat-eye liner made her look badass rather than out of place.
‘We’re like the mermaid and the she-devil,’ she said, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we looked at our reflections in the hall mirror.
‘Mermaid and Snow White,’ I suggested with a smile.
‘There is nothing pure about me,’ Kira said. ‘You and Ethan are coming to the house after the disco, right?’
My dress was delicate and pretty, and I fingered the soft fabric, thinking of the thorns and twigs inside the broken wall.
But this was about more than a pretty dress: it was our last chance to be in the house together before the summer started.
Our exams were done, our fates set – though we didn’t know what they were yet – and Freddy and Kira both had family plans that would take them out of Cornwall.
I would miss them, but Ethan would still be here, and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could.
‘Of course,’ I said, as my phone chimed.
‘Your boy on his way?’
I opened the message and my stomach fell. ‘Sarah’s gone AWOL.’
‘What?’ Kira frowned. ‘Isn’t she staying with friends in York?’
‘She got back last weekend. Ethan said she seemed happier, ready to settle down and finish the year, but …’
‘It can’t be that unusual for her to disappear. It doesn’t sound like staying at home with a book is really her thing.’
I showed Kira the message.
Sarah had a massive row with Mum and stormed out. I need to find her. I’ll meet you there. I’m so sorry, I love you. Ex.
‘Fuck,’ Kira said. ‘Fuckity fuck. I’m sorry, Georgie.’
‘It’s fine,’ I said, even though it wasn’t.
‘He might still make it.’
‘He might,’ I echoed, even though I knew that when Sarah went off the rails, she did it in a way that consumed all of Ethan’s time and energy. I replied, because despite my disappointment it was much harder for him than me.
Can I do anything? I don’t care about the dance, I care about you. Love you too. xx
His reply was instant.
Go and have fun. I’ll be there as soon as I can. x
Five minutes later, the limo Freddy had got his dad to hire honked outside the house, and Kira and I put our heels on. Mum gave me a hug at the door, then pinned a yellow rose corsage to the strap of my dress.
‘Blue for your eyes, gold for your hair,’ she said. ‘Go and have fun, my precious mermaid.’
The school hall was dressed up with helium balloons hanging from the ceiling, and a projector that danced patterns of light across the floor, hiding the grime and dust that had embedded itself over decades of assemblies and parents’ evenings.
There was a bar consisting of Coke and lemonade, fruit juice and sparkling water, and I wondered how many of the students had brought small bottles of spirits with them to liven things up.
Crisps had been decanted into paper bowls, Hula Hoops already spilled onto the floor adding a crunch underfoot, and the DJ was the science lab tech, Lenny.
We walked in as he was playing ‘We Are Young’ by Fun, but from the way my fellow students were clustered around the edges of the room, it was as if they were purposefully trying to contradict it.
‘Fuck’s sake,’ Kira muttered. Freddy looked great in a blue velvet tuxedo and bow tie, and Orwell had gone for classic black and white, though he had a pair of red brogues on.
‘We could go straight to the house?’ I suggested. ‘Ethan could meet us there.’
‘Not a chance.’ Kira took Freddy’s hand, then mine, and I took Orwell’s as she pulled us to the centre of the dance floor and started singing along at the top of her very out-of-tune voice.
Soon, all four of us were shouting the words, other students looking at us with curiosity or disdain.
A couple of girls from my English class started singing, and Kira pounced, dragging them out to join us.
Then she did a sweep of the room, grabbing hands and shimmying in front of the bored onlookers, and the disdainful looks were replaced by grins as everyone stopped trying to play it cool.
‘You’re amazing, you know that?’ I shouted over ‘Starships’ by Nicki Minaj, and Kira laughed, her head tipped back.
‘It’s our last night! Everything changes after this. We have to make it memorable.’
I smiled and couldn’t help checking my phone.
By the time Lenny called out the last song – why was it still ‘Angels’ by Robbie Williams? – we were ragged from all the dancing, and while other students were picked up by their parents or waiting limos, some of my classmates decidedly merry, we’d been saving our booze for the house.
We walked away from the school, taking a detour onto the seafront.
It was a breathtaking night, the moon fat and high, flanked by a chorus of mesmerizing stars, the sand bathed white.
The tide was out, the waves a silky, distant whoosh, and the air was cool but not cold, a welcome whisper over my heated skin.
Kira slipped her hand into mine. ‘Still no word from Ethan?’
I shook my head. I’d sent him a message half an hour ago: What’s happening? You OK? x but hadn’t had a reply. I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t made it, but the disappointment was a cluster of rocks low in my stomach.
‘He might still come.’ Freddy gave me an apologetic glance. ‘He’s a sound dude.’
‘That’s part of the problem,’ Kira said. ‘If he wasn’t such a good big brother, then Georgie wouldn’t be feeling so low.’
‘Hey.’ I forced a smile. ‘I’ve got you guys. We’ve just had an amazing night. I can see Ethan tomorrow.’
‘If it really is Sarah he’s running off to spend time with,’ Orwell said, and Kira whacked him with her clutch bag.
‘Of course it is. Cheating on Georgie is the last thing Ethan would ever do. He’s a foundations guy, remember? Solid and dependable.’
‘That’s the impression he’s given, anyway.’ Orwell undid his bow tie and shoved it in his pocket. I’d danced with him a few times that evening, and he’d been charming and funny and taken my mind off missing Ethan for a while, which made his shit-stirring even harder to take.
‘Why would he bother?’ I asked, more sharply than I’d intended.
‘If he liked someone else, he could go and be with them, couldn’t he?
Why keep me dangling too, if he’s not interested any more?
He could just say so.’ I didn’t want to believe Orwell, didn’t want to think that there might be another reason Ethan was absent so often, but it was hard to stop the doubt creeping in, like the weeds snaking through the cracks in the walls that surrounded our abandoned house on the hill.
It felt different with us all in our party gear, the weight of the next few months hanging over us, full of possibility but also the dread of things changing, our neat little sixth-form bubble popping and letting us out into the real world.
We sat in our favourite room, next to the fireplace, the windows letting in swathes of moonlight.
We’d left rucksacks on the house side of the wall earlier, so we didn’t have to take them to the disco, and I had my blanket of stars.
I spread it on the floor and Orwell immediately sat next to me, crossing his legs without a glance in my direction.
Kira caught my eye and gave me an exasperated look, and I discreetly rolled my eyes at her.
‘What do you think will happen to this place if we don’t visit any more?’ Freddy rested his elbows on his knees.
‘You mean, will it be sad without us?’ Kira asked. ‘Of course it will be. Who wouldn’t want the pleasure of our sparkling company?’
‘Either the guy who owns it will get around to developing it, or he’ll sell it to someone else.’ Orwell grabbed a handful of Pringles. ‘A plot of land like this is prime for a hotel or an old people’s home.’
‘Fuck that,’ Freddy said. ‘Old folk with glaucoma won’t appreciate the view.’
‘Freddy.’ Kira leaned against him and he put his arm around her. ‘Don’t be so cruel.’
‘Nah, maybe you’re right. I can’t be jealous of whoever ends up getting this place. It’s not like any of us have a chance.’
‘It needs someone with a great imagination, a confident vision, and a whole lot of love in their heart,’ Kira said dreamily. ‘Ethan’s rambled on about it enough. Maybe when he’s a high-flying architect, he’ll come back and transform it?’
Orwell shook his head. ‘Someone else will make a decision long before he gets the chance. This place isn’t going to be abandoned for much longer, I bet.’
I shuffled away from him, reaching for the bag of Haribo. It felt all kinds of wrong that Ethan wasn’t here on our last night, with Freddy off to Spain in two days.
‘I hope it gets the future it deserves.’ I slid my hand over the moulding around the fireplace, the swags of plasterwork leaves and flowers.
‘We haven’t checked if anything’s been hidden up there.’ Freddy sounded sombre, as if – even though we were sitting right next to it – we’d somehow lost the opportunity to look.
I took my phone out, not expecting to see anything from Ethan, but he’d sent me a message. My heart leapt, and I opened the screen to read the whole thing in one go, but all it said was:
I’m so sorry, Georgie. I’ll explain everything as soon as I can. Ex
My insides clenched with worry, but when I tried to call him, it rang and rang then clicked through to voicemail. Kira gave me a puzzled look and I shook my head, not wanting to say anything in front of Orwell, who would pounce on Ethan’s ambiguous words with malicious glee.
As Freddy launched into a story about Dagger Dave climbing up to the school roof with his maths teacher’s satchel on our last day, my ears tuned into the sound of sirens, somewhere not too far off.
I didn’t think anything of it, because it was a common enough sound, especially in the summer months when spirits were higher, beer gardens were open late, and the fields on the outskirts of Alperwick were dry as tinder when the rain had stayed away, and susceptible to the smallest, most innocuous spark.