Chapter 7
TYLER
I showered after Eddie. He’d told me, while collecting my clothes to get rid of them, he would make us a late dinner.
The spray on my skin was warm, the blood from Mike’s body washing off and swirling down the drain.
I watched the deep red water as it disappeared, the excitement from earlier still buzzing in my stomach and making me feel like a live wire.
The electrical current zapped me awake. It was as though the world had finally aligned, which was strange because someone was dead.
But it wasn’t just anyone.
It was a man who’d made my skin crawl. Washing his blood off was the best version of getting clean because what he’d done to me went directly down the drain with the rest of him.
He was gone. Eddie had made sure of that. He might’ve left me here in New Gothenburg, but as soon as he’d returned and suspected someone had hurt me, he’d killed them. It didn’t get much more committed than that, did it? My chest felt light and weird.
Good weird.
Had I ever felt this way?
Once I was done in the shower, I dried off and grabbed a set of clothes Eddie had left me, a T-shirt and a pair of green boxers.
They were too big, but they were comfy, like a warm hug.
Even though they were fresh, I swore I could still smell Eddie on them.
I breathed him in, closing my eyes to fully experience his natural scent.
I’d never thought of Eddie as anything but my friend before now, but I’d kissed him and everything had changed.
We’d changed in a heartbeat.
I opened the door to the bathroom right as a massive crash and cursing echoed through the house.
My feet moved before I realized what was happening and I ran downstairs toward the kitchen at the back of the house, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of Eddie laid out on the wooden floor, a piece of ham splayed over his face, with more scattered around him.
Mayo splotched the floor, too, reminding me of a bad porn.
One blob was smeared, which made me think he’d slipped on it. I frowned, then cocked my head.
“What . . . happened?” I bit the tip of my tongue to hold in a cackle, which would embarrass him. He hated being klutzy, and falling over in front of anyone was never a pleasant feeling. I knew from experience. Sometimes things jumped out at me.
I crouched beside him and picked up the piece of ham on his face, throwing it onto the counter.
He winced as he sat up, cheeks a ruddy red as shame flooded them.
Groaning, he shook his head. “I dropped the mayo on the floor and it went everywhere.” He eyed the offending plastic jar, sitting innocently under the table.
“I was going to pick it up, but I was distracted by putting the ham on the sandwiches.” Next, his gaze went to four pieces of bread I hadn’t noticed, lying closer to the back door.
“I slipped on the mayo, bumping the cutting board that the bread was on. It went flying. I fell on my ass. And, oh yeah, the ham made a sandwich with my face.”
I blinked. Then blinked again, because I wasn’t sure if I’d heard him right. My mouth twitched. I pressed my lips together, holding the laughter in, which was really hard to do. It was the funniest damned thing I’d ever seen.
“It’s all right, you can laugh.” The corner of his mouth quirked. “It’s funny.”
I howled, falling onto the floor beside him. My entire body shook with laughter, and I would’ve felt worse if he hadn’t joined in with me, caught between his own chuckles and groans.
“How did I become this?” He slapped a hand over his face. “I have two left feet.”
“It’s who you are.” I patted him on the shoulder as I finally settled down and smiled. It was a comfort to know he hadn’t really changed, even if this version of Eddie saw therapists. I couldn’t even fucking imagine.
That was crazier than committing murder.
His gaze slid down me and his eyes took on a warm gleam that made my toes tap out a happy rhythm against the floor. He’d given me the clothes, but I supposed seeing them on me was a completely different thing. He swallowed, Adam’s apple jumping, as he studied me.
I shifted, unsure what to do under his appraisal. “Uh, they’re a little big.” Belatedly, I tugged at the shirt so he would know what the hell I was talking about.
His attention jumped back up to my eyes and his flush deepened. It was nice on him. Despite being the same awkward klutz, I enjoyed him the way he was as an adult, even if I had been furious—and okay, hurt—that he’d left.
The thought of him going to California made my stomach sour. I sighed, rubbing my drooping eye. “Tell me the truth? Were you ever coming home? I know you said you thought I was living my life when you got back to New Gothenburg, but what about before that? Didn’t you think I needed you?”
“To be honest? No.” He flinched when I shot him a glare. “Just listen, please. Here.” He stood and held out his hand, and I took it, letting him guide me to a chair at the oak table.
His house was stylish and nothing like I’d imagined—where did the money come from?
—but I really loved it because it was simple, yet had character.
Inside was quirky, with colorful walls painted in shades other than a boring white or beige.
His kitchen was bright purple. I would’ve thought that would be too much, but it worked well.
He sat in the chair beside me and kept holding my hand, tightening his grip until it nearly hurt. Yet, his touch was the comfort I needed. It’d been a long time since someone held on to me.
“You’ve always been so brave, Tyler. Whenever you had to face something, you did it head-on.
I was always jealous of you because you were shy, but you never let it keep you down.
And I promised to come back. I was going to, as soon as I graduated, but things happened.
I got caught up in my head about all the shit with Dad and seeing a therapist and—” He sighed.
“I truly thought you’d be okay. My uncle died, and I finally came home to deal with his estate.
It let me buy this house. A car. I have money for things I need now.
And a nest egg.” He shrugged, sadder than a kicked puppy.
“Dad never hit you before I left. I didn’t think he’d do that, since you weren’t his kid. ”
“He didn’t, not until the last few months before I took off.
” The words were acid in my mouth, my tongue heavy with the poison.
I resisted the urge to touch my cheeks. “He found out Mom was cheating on him with his brother. He was so angry. They screamed at each other all night. I was scared for Mom, so I came out and asked him to stop yelling and that’s when he hurt me for the first time. ”
My breath picked up and my lungs expanded, but not from air. Fear. Was that possible? The memories washed over me, Chuck’s furious face seared into my brain, as deep and scarring as the marks on my cheek.
“They fought a lot, but after the first time, I was too scared to come out of my room. I searched for you on the internet, hoping to find you, but I couldn’t. You didn’t have a phone when you still lived at home, so I didn’t have your number. I didn’t know where you were.”
Tears prickled the corners of my eyes. I didn’t wipe them away. I’d survived Chuck. How? I didn’t know, but I had.
Eddie watched me, mouth twisted in guilt and eyes full of sorrow. He stayed quiet, though, and let me finish.
“The final time was when he caught Mom and Chad again. Chuck was ready to kill.” I grasped a handful of my hair, mimicking Chuck’s hold on me as the panic returned like it was happening at this very moment.
My fingers trembled. “Mom was cooking. He told her that he did everything for her. Even took care of her brat. She told him to let me go, but he had a point to prove. Next thing I knew, he was jamming my face down onto a hot pan.”
Eddie’s eyes nearly swallowed his face as they widened.
A sob ripped up my throat as the unbearable pain resurfaced in my memories.
I’d screamed, begging Chuck to stop.
Mom was shrieking.
It was chaos.
When Chuck was finished, he’d let me go and walked away as though nothing had happened. Mom called an ambulance, and when they asked what had happened, Mom had lied so easily, telling them I tripped and fell onto the pan.
No one believed it. Why would they?
Social workers came to me in the hospital, but I hadn’t wanted to get Mom into trouble, so I’d agreed with her.
They’d given me a card in case I needed to call them, but I never did.
Instead, I ran from the hospital as soon as I was healed enough to do it.
The doctors were supposed to do skin grafts, but I didn’t want to be stuck in one spot where Chuck could find me. Not long after, Mom divorced Chuck.
And not long after that, she’d died.
Part of me wondered if she’d really drank herself to death.
She’d been found dead on the shore of Lake Ontario with a bottle of vodka, no marks on her.
It was all suspicious to me, but apparently, not the police.
Surprise, surprise, there was no real investigation.
Open and shut case. The drunk drank herself to death.
It didn’t matter. I was the one with the scars to show for Mom’s broken relationship.
I shuddered and another cry spilled from my lips.
Eddie lurched forward and dragged me into a hug, and I buried my head against his chest to cry.
As crazy as it sounded, this was the first time I’d bawled about the incident since I’d woken up in the hospital with a burned face.
I’d forced myself not to think about the trauma that came from living with Chuck, but Eddie being home was the harshest reminder of all.
“And the others on the list, did they hurt you, too?”
I nodded, sobbing more violently. “I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. About. Them,” I said between each hiccup and sob.
He was warmth on a cold night, and despite still wanting to be angry at him, I couldn’t, not when he offered me comfort.
No one else cared. Mom didn’t even look for me after I ran.
Eddie had been the one to have my back after my mom married his dad, and now he was here, and I sought his solid presence. His safety.
Would he protect me?
Snot ran out of my nose and tears covered my cheeks, but I still glanced up at him, pleading with my gaze. “Make me forget. I know you probably aren’t gay, but please. Use me. Do what you want with me, just take me to bed and kiss me and tell me you’ll be there for me. Please?”
His expression darkened and I didn’t know what to make of it.
“Who says I’m not gay?” His whisper worked its way up my spine, and I shivered. “When I was still living at home, I was figuring stuff out for myself. I came out at college. What do you want?”
“You,” I murmured. “Only you.”