31. Get Over It
Chapter 31
Get Over It
S tellon
I knew Raewyn’s faith had been shaken by my father’s untimely intrusion and the things she’d overheard.
And I didn’t blame her for wanting to get away from us.
For the first time, I was starting to see just how distasteful some of the Elven practices I’d always taken for granted really were.
But I couldn’t allow her to leave. Not angry like this.
And not when I still had no idea which village she was from. She’d steadfastly refused to name it or even give me her surname since the moment I’d met her.
“No. Not yet,” I said. “It’s not safe.”
“It’s not safe for me here either, is it?” she challenged. “What with various members of your family—who hate me and all my kind—traipsing in and out at will.”
“I have told you I’d never let anyone hurt you—not even my brother or my father,” I insisted.
“You’ve also told me your father gets whatever he wants,” she said. “And that you do nothing to stop him.”
“That’s different. It has nothing to do with you.”
Her eyebrow went up, disbelieving. “Really? I’m just another human in his eyes. Why would you have hidden me under the bed if you weren’t afraid he’d hurt me?”
After a pause she said, “Or maybe you were just afraid of what he’d think of you kissing a human girl who isn’t brainwashed. He might think you actually cared for me.”
“I do care for you,” I insisted.
“Then get me out of here tonight. I know you can find a way if you want to.”
And there was the problem. I didn’t want to.
There was no doubt in my mind that if I smuggled Raewyn past the castle gates and watched her walk away, I’d never see her again.
She had lumped me into the same category as my father, and I needed more time to prove I was different—that she could trust me, that I’d do anything to protect her.
I needed time to make her fall for me the way I’d fallen for her.
She clearly wasn’t interested in hearing about my feelings at this moment, and she’d probably suspect me of lying anyway if I tried to express them.
What I’d told her earlier was true—I had opted not to sway her in the marketplace that day because I’d been reluctant to force her to do something against her will.
But now she was leaving me no choice.
Crossing the room to her, I came to a stop directly in front of Raewyn and looked down into her eyes.
Putting the full force of my Sway behind my words, I said, “You will stay in the palace under my protection. You will be happy to be here… and not speak of leaving again.”
For a long moment, she stared back at me, her head cocked to one side. And then her eyebrows drew together, and the corners of her lovely mouth turned down.
“Please do not tell me you just attempted to use your Sway on me,” she said in an I dare you tone.
“What?” I managed to push the word past my lips, though it felt like there was no air in my lungs.
Raewyn’s hands came to rest on her hips.
“Your Sway—wasn’t that what you said it was called? You just gave me the same look you did at the Rough Market when I was trying to get you to leave me alone, and you were trying to change my mind. You just tried it again, didn’t you?”
My mouth opened but nothing came out. The words had been stolen by shock. I felt like a child who’d been caught purloining plum cakes from the kitchen before dinner.
And what could I say? She was right.
Why hadn’t it worked?
Why was she still standing there, giving me a look that would have pierced me through if it had been a dagger? It must have been the overdose of saol water she’d consumed tonight, giving her some immunity.
Raewyn shook her head, sounding deeply disappointed. Sad even.
“I can’t believe you. You tell me I’m safe with you, that I should trust you, and then you… you try to take away my free will? Like those poor girls in the retinue?”
“No, that’s not what I was doing, I—”
I cut myself off because really, that was what I’d tried to do. But I had good reasons. It wasn’t safe for her to leave now.
And I wasn’t sure how I’d manage to keep breathing if she did.
“You what?” she challenged.
“I…”
The answer came out of my mouth without forethought and certainly without my permission.
“I love you.”
I couldn’t quite believe I’d said it out loud. Now that it was out, though, I was glad. It felt like a heavy load had been suddenly plucked from my shoulders by the Grand Star itself.
“You what ?” Raewyn repeated herself, though her tone was different this time. It was harsher, nearly a shout.
I stepped forward, reaching for her. She took a step back to avoid me. Her breaths were so fast and so loud I could hear them.
“I said, ‘I love you.’ And it’s true. I’ve fallen in love with you, Raewyn. And yes, I tried to use my Sway to keep you from leaving, because I was desperate not to lose you.”
“Am desperate,” I corrected. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn't have. But I couldn’t think of any other way to keep you from leaving me. And I want to keep you—forever.”
She blinked rapidly, clearly trying to process this new information.
“Keep me,” she repeated. “Here… in the palace… forever? What does that even mean ? As the inaugural member of your very own ‘collection’ of human attendants?”
A shocked laugh escaped me. “No. No, not like that. I don’t want a retinue. I only want you.”
I actually had no idea how it would work, only that Raewyn was what I wanted more than anything I’d ever wanted in my whole life.
She started walking in circles, and I couldn’t help but notice her limp was much less pronounced. The saol water had done good work.
“This is crazy,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t even know why you’re saying this.”
“Because it’s true. I—am in love—with you.”
Perhaps I should have been embarrassed to keep repeating it, but now that I’d released the truth, I couldn’t keep it inside.
Raewyn arrested her pacing long enough to toss me an aggravated glance.
“Well you need to get over it.”
“You can’t love me,” she said, flailing her arm toward me. “There’s no point.”
Her finger stabbed the air as she enunciated her next words. “I am leaving. Maybe not tonight, but soon .”
“I can’t even bear the thought of it,” I admitted.
“Start practicing, then,” she said, making her way to the bed.
A moment later, a pillow and then a blanket flew through the air in my direction. I caught each of them just before they hit the ground.
Raewyn crawled up onto the bed without my assistance and snatched the curtains closed, cutting off my view of her.
Her angry voice made it past the visual obstruction just fine though.
“We’ll speak of this no more. Start making plans for how you’re going to get me out of here when the Assemblage ends.”
“Raewyn… love…” My tone was pleading.
“Good night , Stellon,” she said.
Heaving a defeated sigh, I took the pillow and blanket to one of the torturous settees and attempted to make myself comfortable.
Lying there with my feet hanging off the end and my head whirring with thoughts, I went over the facts. No point in ignoring them.
Raewyn was human.
I was Elven royalty.
Any sort of real relationship between us was strictly forbidden.
I had to marry a member of the High Fae.
One fact kept rising above all the others. I loved her. She made me happier than anything ever had, and I knew I could make her happy, too.
I was determined to find a way for her to stay.
But first, I had to make her want to.