Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Samara
My steps were quick as I made my way to Alaric’s study from mine. His was also on the third floor of the main tower but on the complete opposite side. I’d wanted to go there directly from the library, but instead, I’d forced myself to go to my own study and get some work done. Then I’d met with Yolanthe and a few other advisors.
I hadn’t told anyone I’d be gone for a few days soon because I couldn’t risk Draven getting tipped off, but I made sure to deal with any issues that needed my attention. And there had been many. Surviving in Lunaria wasn’t easy, even when there weren’t nefarious plots threatening to damn us all. The wards that protected our Houses and outposts were powered by gems, which we seemed to always be running low on. And then those fucking boars had wiped out more crops. We’d be fine unless something went wrong with the summer crops. If that happened, the upcoming winter would be a lean one.
“Couldn’t the Fae have picked a nicer place to drag us all?” I muttered, although I doubted they had come here voluntarily, which begged the question, who was powerful enough to force the Fae to do anything?
I was still musing this over when I reached Alaric’s study. The door was open a crack, so I pushed it and stepped inside. Alaric’s eyes rose from the letter he was reading, watching as I closed the door behind me and flipped the lock. Then I brushed the glyph on the wall, activating the silencing spell before walking towards his desk. I wasn’t sure exactly what was going to happen in the next few minutes, but I was pretty sure we wouldn’t want anyone to overhear or interrupt us.
“You came.” He leaned back in his chair, a tightness around the corners of his eyes.
“I told you I’d let you feed from me.” I moved behind the desk and sat on it, scooting over until I was sitting directly in front of him. As usual, Alaric’s desk was perfectly organized, and I was careful not to knock over the stacks of letters and scrolls. “Did you think I would change my mind?”
Alaric’s gaze fell to where the high slit of my dress revealed a large amount of skin. Then he swallowed as impossible blue lines flashed across his light green eyes. I could feel the bloodlust rising within him as he wrestled it, and my heart raced a little faster as I leaned back on the desk, the movement causing even more of my thigh to be on display.
I still remembered quite vividly how he had tasted in my mouth. I wanted to feel his fangs in my neck as he buried his cock inside me. He’d been so demanding before, and I wanted him to give in to that urge again, but something told me that if I pushed him on this, he’d pull away. So I forced myself to wait.
“My family has a history of turning Strigoi.” The heart hammering inside my chest froze, and Alaric looked at me with an almost mournful expression. “It wasn’t just my cousin, Faolan, who turned.”
“Who else?” I asked softly, even as my mind was racing, trying to remember anything else about Alaric’s family. Aside from his parents coming from one of our outposts, I couldn’t think of anything useful.
He looked away, staring at a spot on his desk. “Maternal grandmother—she turned after my grandfather was killed by wraiths—and both grandparents on the paternal side. Best I can tell, over half on my father’s side have turned Strigoi, and my mother’s side isn’t that much better. It’s one of the reasons my parents were so relieved to be offered high-ranking positions here.”
Because they could regularly drink from Carmilla. Partaking in the blood of any of the House families significantly reduced one’s chances of becoming Strigoi. So much so that drinking from the House bloodlines had been the norm for a while, but now there were too many Moroi for that to be feasible. Parents would bring their young children to whichever House they belonged to shortly after they were born so the child could be given House blood, but that was it.
My generation had been the most stable so far, only a few instances of Moroi losing themselves completely in bloodlust and becoming Strigoi, but it did happen. I suspected, with the increased wraith attacks, it had happened more in the past few months and we just didn’t know yet. When facing certain death, some Moroi would relinquish their hold on humanity in an attempt to survive. Who knew how many more Strigoi were prowling the wilds after all the outpost attacks?
I mentally added that to the long list of problems we were facing and refocused on the one in front of me. Alaric’s cousin, Faolan, had turned, and I knew he’d been there to witness it. It wasn’t all that surprising that he’d been scarred by that.
“You won’t become Strigoi.” It was both a command and a promise. I leaned forward and tipped Alaric’s face up with my fingertips. “You are mine . ”
His green eyes turned solid turquoise, and he released a low growl that had me clenching my thighs together.
“I can feel it every time my bloodlust rises, the all-consuming hunger. It’s only a matter of time.” His eyes fell to the pulse on my neck before he forced himself to look away and stare blankly at the wall. “There is a courtier who I have an arrangement with. She visits every couple of months, and I feed from her then. I only drink a little, and we do it at midday, when the sun is the strongest over the moon.”
Because the moon called to our bloodlust. All of our senses were heightened at night, but letting our bloodlust rise under the light of the moon was intoxicating.
The rangers often hunted at night because of it. They’d point themselves in the directions of the monsters and let themselves go, reclaiming their humanity in the morning. They spent years practicing that ability though, always keeping the smallest hold on themselves so they weren’t lost forever.
“I almost lost it last time she came.” Alaric rubbed his mouth like he could still taste the blood on it. Some part of me raged at the idea of him feeding from someone else, but I bit back the growl that crept up my throat. There was a time and place for territorial bullshit, and this wasn’t it.
“When’s the last time you fed?” I asked softly.
“Almost four months ago.”
Fuck. Our bodies needed food, but our magic needed blood. Most Moroi drank once a month, more often if they’d used a lot of magic for spellcasting or healing. Alaric’s control over his bloodlust had to be ironclad if he was still holding it together.
But even he had a breaking point.
“You’re only hurting yourself. Harker blood will help you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he rasped as he turned his gaze away from the wall and back to me .
“You won’t.” I let my bloodlust rise until I knew my eyes were black. “Trust me, I can hold my own.”
Alaric went still as he took me in. “What . . .” Then his eyes dropped to my fangs peeking through my parted lips. “What does it feel like to you? You almost never put it away anymore, not entirely.”
I thought about it. “Everything is just . . . more. The scents in the air. The colors in the flowers.” Slowly, I reached out and trailed my fingers along his jawline, my heart skipping as he turned his head slightly to inhale my scent better. “Your skin beneath my touch.”
A few beats passed between us before he looked at me with bottomless eyes. “And the hunger?”
“There,” I admitted. “Always there, but it’s like an impatient friend I’ve learned to live with and occasionally throw a bone to.” Something shuddered in his expression, prompting me to ask, “What does it feel like for you?”
“Mindless and cruel,” he said without hesitation. “Whatever it is that prowls beneath my skin . . . it isn’t me. It feels like it wants to devour everything I am until nothing remains but itself. The monster.”
I understood that I was part of the small group of Moroi who were exceptions to the rule. Something about us was different, our bloodlust integrated more with who we were, but Vail and the other rangers weren’t like me, and they could harness their bloodlust just fine. It was possible for any Moroi.
Alaric was letting his fear override everything else, and that was making things so much worse. There was no separating a Moroi from their bloodlust. It was something that had to be accepted. Alaric was trying to deny an intrinsic part of himself, and it was going to be the death of him someday.
Panic wrapped around my heart and squeezed when a little green came back into Alaric’s eyes, and I could tell he was pulling away. If things had been different, I would have let him. I understood now why he was so paranoid and obsessed with control. His perfectly organized office. The clothing that was never out of place. Why he was so annoyed at me every time I got him to lose his temper.
Alaric lived every day terrified he was going to lose control of his bloodlust. Given his family history, his concerns were valid, but starving himself wasn’t going to help—he had to know that. His fear was winning over his logic. I was leaving tomorrow, and he was still weak from the monster attack in the cave. He needed to feed, and I refused to leave this office until he was sated.
With slow, deliberate movements, I slid off the desk until I was straddling his lap. Alaric went completely still, his hands hovering around me but not touching.
“Samara,” he warned.
“You’re not healing the way you should be because you’ve waited too long to drink,” I said calmly. “I’m worried about you, and that means I’ll be distracted when Vail and I leave tomorrow. Do you really want me wandering around the woods with this weighing heavily on me instead of fully concentrating on my surroundings?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You won’t convince me with logic.”
I smiled, completely undeterred.
“There are two ways we can do this.” My hair fell in a dark curtain as I pulled it aside and bared my neck to him. “You can drink from me and only drink, or”—I rolled my hips, feeling his hard erection, and he groaned—“you drink and fuck me at the same time. The choice is yours, but you have to drink, Alaric.”
Blue and green warred in his eyes like waves crashing against each other. Then his lips parted, revealing sharp fangs, but he still didn’t move.
“I don’t believe you’ll hurt me.” He shivered as I trailed a finger along his jawline. “But I am capable of defending myself and will do so if I have to. ”
“Promise me.” Alaric reached around me and pulled a drawer open before a silver blade appeared between us. “Promise you’ll use this if things get out of hand.”
I took the dagger, wrapping my fingers around the handle. His eyes bore into mine, and I knew he would not relent on this. If this was what it took to make him willingly drink from me, then I’d do it, even if my stomach rolled at the idea of hurting him.
My grip tightened. “I promise.”
Alaric studied me for a long moment before wrapping one hand around the back of my neck. He was giving me time to change my mind, which was kind of sweet, but I was officially out of patience.
I let my hand holding the dagger fall loosely to my side but slid the other one behind Alaric’s head and yanked him towards my neck. His chest vibrated with a deep growl, and the possessiveness in it had my toes curling.
Fingers dug into the ridge of my hip as his hand on the back of my neck squeezed harder. A throaty moan slipped from my lips as I ground against him. If he didn’t bite or fuck me soon, I was going to burst. Lips brushed against my neck, the touch delicate compared to the punishing grip of his hands. Then he kissed my neck again before I felt the sharp sting of his fangs sinking into my flesh.
“Yes,” I breathed out as the brief moment of pain gave way to pure pleasure.
Alaric drank deeply but still pulled away too soon, and warm blood slid down my neck as I looked into bright turquoise eyes. Quick, shallow pants escaped through his lips, and I could feel how taut his body was beneath mine. He needed more.
I licked my bottom lip, and his eyes snagged on the movement. “You’re still hungry,” I purred, “so we’re not done here.” I sucked in my bottom lip and bit down, piercing it with my own fang. Blood dribbled down my chin, and Alaric was there in an instant, his mouth crashing against mine.
The knife almost slipped from my grasp when he suddenly rose out of the chair, taking me with him, but I kept my hold on it. I’d promised him I’d watch out for myself, and while I didn’t believe I’d need to, it was important to him. He didn’t trust himself yet to not lose control, and that knife was his safe word.
Alaric sucked on my bottom lip before kissing me deeply as he sat me down on the edge of his desk, my legs spread wide on either side of him. Fingers wrapped around my hair to wrench my head back, and I writhed in Alaric’s grip when he struck at my neck, leaning me further back on the desk. The neat stack of papers went flying, and I barely managed to slam my hand down on a pile of books to keep them from crashing to the floor too.
Fingers slipped between my thighs and roughly tugged my undergarments to the side before plunging into my slick center, and Alaric gave an approving growl at how wet I was for him. A strangled moan escaped me as he slowly pulled his fingers out, rubbing them over my clit before thrusting them back in. The climax was instant and brutal. I barely managed to keep from slamming my head back onto the desk as my body clamped down around his fingers, the books tumbling to the floor.
Alaric’s fangs slipped from my neck as he raised his head and eyed the mess we were making of his desk. He glanced at my hand that was still awkwardly holding the dagger to the side because I really didn’t want to accidentally stab myself or him. My mind was still reeling from the orgasm, so I was only faintly aware of him plucking the dagger from my grip before he slammed it into the desk. The blade sunk a few inches into the wood, still upright and within my reach.
I extended my hand to grab Alaric’s tunic, wanting to see more of him, but apparently he had the same idea because he ripped the front of my dress in half. I moaned as his mouth found my nipple and sucked hard, his hand gripping my other breast, then I arched my hips up, trying to grind against him. I wanted to feel his hard cock in my hands, but I wasn’t in a position to reach it.
Alaric laughed against my skin as he twirled his tongue around my sensitive nipple. “You’re very needy,” he said roughly before sucking my nipple back into his mouth. “I want to taste you everywhere.”
“Fuck!” I cried out when his fangs sank into the swell of my breast, causing me to buck upward. I slipped my hands under the back of his tunic and felt the hard, corded muscles of his back flexing beneath my touch.
Then the hand that had been playing with my breast trailed down my stomach, fingers dipping and rising over every one of my curves until they disappeared between my thighs once more. I felt his nails harden into claws that he slid lightly across my skin before tearing my undergarments away.
Sliding his fangs free, he hovered above me, hunger still shining in his bright turquoise eyes. There wasn’t a hint of green to be seen, his bloodlust riding high. The sound of more fabric being torn rang throughout the room, and then I felt his cock nudge at my entrance. Alaric went predatorily still as he took me in, splayed out beneath him, and hesitation flickered in his eyes.
I stretched my hand up and cupped his cheek. “You’re still you, Alaric. This is part of who you are, and I want all of it.”
My words were his undoing, and a scream tore out of my throat as he slammed into me. There was no easing into it. No going slow. Alaric’s fingers dug into my hips as he fucked me hard and fast, and the tension that had been building between my thighs erupted. Alaric didn’t slow down a bit, just fucked me through it as I saw stars. I gripped my bouncing tits to keep them in place, and when I saw Alaric’s eyes burn with desire, I squeezed them a little harder.
This time, his eyes glazed over, and I let out a husky laugh. One hand left my hip to rub my clit, and my pleasure-laden laughter turned into a strangled scream as his damn fingers played with the already overstimulated bundle of nerves.
“So fucking wet,” Alaric growled. “I could smell how turned on you were when Kieran was fucking your cunt and I was thrusting my cock in and out of that perfect fucking mouth.” Strong hands gripped my legs, raising them up until the tops of my thighs brushed my stomach. “You enjoyed taking every inch of our cocks, didn’t you?”
Fuck. My pussy clenched around him as he continued to hammer into me. I never would have guessed Alaric would be a dirty talker, but I was fucking here for it.
He thrust into me hard one more time, and the desk slid a few inches. My eyes stared into his, and I saw the same desperate need reflected in them. A possessive growl rippled up his throat as he lowered my legs and took a step back, his cock sliding out of me. I let out a whimpered cry at the loss but then yelped when Alaric flipped me over so I was bent over the desk.
“Option two,” he breathed into my ear, his chest against my back. I felt him rubbing the head of his thick cock against my slick folds. “You said I could feed from you, or feed from you and fuck you at the same time. Option fucking two, Sam .”
“Fuck yes,” I pleaded in a tone that I’d probably be embarrassed about later, but holy fuck, I hadn’t expected Alaric to be like this. I’d expected him to be amazing but in a calm and thorough kind of way, not whispering dirty words into my ear while roughly using my body however he wanted.
His chest rumbled against me as he let out another deep laugh, and I couldn’t resist grinding my ass against him. In a second, his body vanished from where he’d been pinning me down, and then a loud slap sounded. I let out a sharp exhale when he slapped my ass again.
Hard.
Wet heat spread down my inner thighs, and Alaric swirled his cock in it as his fingers rubbed the spot on my ass he’d slapped. “You like to play rough, don’t you?” I clenched my thighs together, and he chuckled darkly. “When you get back, Kieran and I are sharing you again, and this”—he slapped my ass again—“is mine .”
“Sure,” I breathed out, my entire body trembling in anticipation. “Just fuck me now please.”
“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said please to me in your life.” He nudged my legs further apart so I was even more bared to him and leaned over me again. I moaned as his fingers slipped over my clit before he pushed them slowly inside me. “Grab the desk,” he ordered roughly.
Alaric withdrew his fingers, and I grabbed the edge of the desk. Then he kissed my neck over the place he’d bitten me when we’d started all this. The broad head of his cock pushed through my slickness, and he buried himself inside me at the same moment his fangs sank into my flesh.
My fingers dug into the wood as Alaric pounded me into the desk, his grip on my hair almost punishing as he wrenched my head back further and drank deeply. One of his hands seized my left leg and lifted it until my knee was on the desk.
“Oh fuck!” I screamed as the adjusted position allowed him even deeper access, the intensity of it all sending me spiraling as waves of pleasure slammed into me. Alaric’s grip on my hair tightened for a second before he ripped his fangs free from my neck and bellowed as he followed me over the edge.
Neither of us moved for a few minutes. Alaric just released my hair and pressed his head to the back of my neck while we panted and trembled as the remnants of our orgasms passed.
Finally, Alaric straightened, and we both groaned as his cock slid free. I winced a little as I stood, feeling tender . . . everywhere. I had an indent on my thigh where it’d been pinned against the desk, my head and neck were sore from the hair pulling, and my poor pussy had taken a beating.
Alaric looked at me carefully, as if he was noting all of this and feeling a little unsure about what we’d just done.
“I loved every second of that, so wipe that look off your face.” I grinned at him. “Didn’t know you had it in you, Alaric. Want to bet we can break the desk next time?”
“You’re a menace.” He shook his head even as a smile crept across his lips. “We’re using your study next time. It’s always a disaster zone anyway.”
“Rude.” I looked around the floor surrounding his desk that was now covered with paperwork, scrolls, and everything else that had been neatly stacked. “Better idea—we use Kier’s study.”
Alaric laughed. “Look at that. You and I are capable of negotiating and agreeing on something.”
“Keep fucking me like that and I think you’ll find I’m a lot more agreeable.” I sent him a sly look.
“I think I can do that,” he murmured and pulled the dagger free from the desk. Then he studied it for a long moment before raising his gaze to me. “This comes out every time, just in case.”
“Okay,” I agreed softly, even though I didn’t believe we’d ever need it. “Whatever you need, Alaric. Just don’t pull away from me if you get scared, because I’m all in on this and I can’t watch you walk away again.”
He tossed the knife back onto the desk and wrapped his arms around me. “Never again, Sam. I promise. You are all I need.”