Chapter Five #2
A stupid fucking hope, and one he should have known better than to harbor.
So that Winter Solstice night on the icy streets, when he knew she’d only shown up at the town house to get the money Feyre had dangled in exchange for making an appearance, when she’d asserted that she wanted nothing to do with him …
he’d thrown the present he’d spent months hunting down into the frozen Sidra and then busied himself with quelling the growing dissent amongst the Illyrians.
And he’d stayed away from her for the intervening nine months.
Far, far away. He’d come so close to making a stupid mistake that night, to laying his heart bare for her to rip out of his chest. He’d hardly managed to walk away with some semblance of pride.
Over his cold, dead body would she do that to him again.
Nesta emerged, her braided hair now coiled across the crown of her head like a woven tiara. He made a point not to look beneath her neck. At the body left on display. She needed to gain back the weight she’d lost, and pack on some muscle, but … those fucking leathers.
“Let’s go,” he said, his voice rough and cold. Thank the Cauldron for that.
On the veranda beyond the dining room’s glass doors, Mor landed, as if plunging from the thirty feet above the wards was nothing. For her, Cassian supposed it was.
Mor hopped from foot to foot, rubbing her arms and gritting her teeth, and gave him a look that said, You owe me so big for this, asshole.
Nesta scowled, but slung on her cloak, each movement graceful and unhurried, then aimed for where Mor waited. Cassian would fly them both out beyond the wards’ reach, then Mor would winnow them to Windhaven.
Where he’d somehow find a way to convince Nesta to train.
But thankfully, Nesta knew that she had to do the bare minimum today, which meant going to Windhaven. She’d always known how to wage this kind of emotional, mental warfare. She’d have made a fine general. Might still be one, someday.
Cassian couldn’t tell if it would be a good thing. To turn Nesta into that sort of a weapon.
She’d pointed at the King of Hybern in a death-promise before she’d been turned High Fae against her will. Months later, she’d held up his severed head like a trophy and stared into his dead eyes.
And if the Bone Carver had spoken true about her emerging from the Cauldron as something to fear … Fuck.
He didn’t bother with his cloak as he yanked open the glass doors, breathing in a face full of crisp autumn air, and stalked toward Mor’s opening arms.
No ice or snow crusted the mountain hold of Windhaven, but it didn’t stop the bitter cold from slamming into Nesta the moment they appeared. Morrigan vanished with a wink at Cassian and a warning glower thrown at Nesta, leaving them assessing the field stretching ahead.
A few small stone houses rose to the right, and beyond them stood some new residences made of fresh pine.
A village—that was what this place had become recently.
But immediately before them lay the fighting rings, right along the edge of the flat mountaintop, fully stocked with various weapons, weights, and training supplies.
Nesta had no idea what any of the impressive varieties were, beyond their basic names: sword, dagger, arrow, shield, spear, bow, brutal-looking round-spiky-ball-on-a-chain …
On their other side smoldered fire pits, clouds of smoke drifting to a fenced-in array of livestock, sheep and pigs and goats, all shaggy but well fed.
And, of course, the Illyrians themselves.
Females tended to steaming pots and pans around those fires—and all of them halted when Cassian and Nesta appeared.
So did the dozens of males in those sparring rings. None smiled.
A broad-shouldered, stocky male whom Nesta vaguely recognized sauntered their way, flanked two deep by younger males. They all had their wings tucked in tight, perhaps to walk as a unit, but as they stopped in front of Cassian, those wings spread slightly.
Cassian kept his in what Nesta called his casual spread—not wide, but not tucked in close. The position conveyed the perfect amount of ease and arrogance, readiness and power.
The familiar male’s gaze snagged on her. “What’s her business here?”
Nesta gave him a secretive smile. “Witchcraft.”
She could have sworn Cassian muttered a plea to the Mother before he cut in, “I will remind you, Devlon, that Nesta Archeron is our High Lady’s sister, and will be treated with respect.
” The words held enough of a bite that even Nesta glanced at Cassian’s stone-cold face.
She had not heard that unyielding tone since the war. “She will be training here.”
Nesta wanted nothing more than to shove him off the nearby cliff edge.
Devlon’s face curdled. “Any weapons she touches must be buried afterward. Leave them in a pile.”
Nesta blinked.
Cassian’s nostrils flared. “We will do no such thing.”
Devlon sniffed at her, his cronies snickering. “Are you bleeding, witch? If you are, you will not be allowed to touch the weapons at all.”
Nesta made herself pause. Contemplate the best way to knock the bastard down a few pegs.
Cassian said with remarkable steadiness, “Those are outdated superstitions. She can touch the weapons whether she has her cycle or not.”
“She can,” Devlon said, “but they will still be buried.”
Silence fell. Nesta didn’t fail to note that Cassian’s expression had darkened as he stared down Devlon. But he said abruptly, “How are the new recruits faring?”
Devlon opened his mouth, then shut it, irritation flashing there at a fight denied. “Fine,” he spat, and turned away, his soldiers following.
Cassian’s face tightened with each breath, and Nesta braced herself, a thrill slowly building in her blood, for him to rip into Devlon.
But Cassian growled, “Let’s go,” and began walking toward an empty training area.
Devlon glared over a shoulder, and Nesta threw him a cool look before striding after Cassian. The Illyrian’s gaze lingered like a burning brand on her spine.
Cassian didn’t go for one of the countless weapons racks stationed throughout the training area. He just halted in the farthest ring, hands on his hips, and waited for her.
Like hell would she join him. She spied a weatherworn rock near the rack of weapons, its smoothness either from the harsh climate or the untold number of warriors who’d taken a seat on it as she did then. Its frigid surface bit into her skin even through the thickness of the leathers.
“What are you doing?” Cassian’s handsome face was nearly predatory.
She crossed her legs at the ankles and arranged the fall of her cape like the train of a gown. “I told you: I’m not training.”
“Get up.” He’d never ordered her like that.
Get up, she’d sobbed that day before the King of Hybern. Get up.
Nesta met his stare. Willed hers to be distant and unruffled. “I am officially attending training, Cassian, but you can’t make me do a lick of it.” She motioned to the mud. “Drag me through it, if you want, but I won’t lift a finger.”
The Illyrians’ stares pelted them like stones. Cassian bristled.
Good. Let him see what a waste of life, what an utter wretch, she’d become.
“Get the hell up.” His words were a soft snarl.
Devlon and his group had returned, attracted by their argument, and gathered beyond the edge of the circle. Cassian’s hazel eyes remained fixed on her, though.
A slight pleading note flickered in them.
Get up, a small voice whispered in her head, her bones. Don’t humiliate him like this. Don’t give these assholes the satisfaction of seeing him made a fool.
But her body refused to move. She’d drawn her line, and to yield—to him, to anyone—
Something like disgust filled his face. Disappointment. Anger.
Good. Even as something crumpled inside her, she couldn’t stop the relief.
Cassian turned away from her, drawing the sword sheathed down his back. And without another word, without a glance, he began his morning exercises.
Let him hate her. It was better that way.