Chapter Twenty-Two
Agnes woke with a start and bolted upright. The walls around her looked different, but she was convinced she was still in that God-awful cabin until strong arms wrapped around her and a familiar scent of leather and the outdoors enveloped her. William.
She leaned into him and let him pull her down with him. He wrapped them up with the quilt and kissed the top of her head.
“Shh, love. I’m here and you’re safe.”
He could tell her that all day long, but it would not quell the fear threatening to overcome her every time she closed her eyes that she would wake in that place.
Despite having enough food and water and all her attempts to remain hopeful, the truth of the matter was when William called her name, she was certain it was her mind having completely snapped.
Five days may not seem like a long time, but when one had no idea if they would ever be discovered, it might just as well be five years.
She hated this.
Agnes snuggled into William even harder as if his presence alone could remove the anguish welling inside. No amount of sobbing could easily erase despair once its claws set into one’s heart like fingers of mist creeping down over the mountains, edging ever closer until all-consuming.
She closed her eyes and focused on William again.
In her mind’s eye, she forced memories of their first meeting, their first kiss atop their horses, their wedding night.
Wrapping her arms around him, she drank in his scent, willing it to bring her back to herself.
By God, she would not let this claim her.
She had to find a way out of this darkness.
As if sensing what she needed, William leaned down and brushed his lips across hers.
She returned the kiss with all the urgency and yearning she’d felt while they were apart.
Waking up alone in that horrible place broke her heart a thousand times over.
But she was there no longer. She struggled to put herself in the here and now with this man and their bairn growing inside her.
Agnes pushed him to lie on his back and straddled him. She splayed her hands across his chest while he lifted her shift up and as she lifted her arms, he pulled it over her head. His hands reached for her breasts and squeezed. Her body reacted immediately.
Lifting her hips, she positioned herself so he slid in completely. Agnes tossed her head back as the sensation poured through her veins like liquid fire. William grabbed her hips to temper her movements when she started to ride him too hard.
“Slowly, love,” he said as he guided her body to a delicious rhythm.
This, what they shared, was the only medicine that would cure her. This connection would block out any other feelings. It had to, for there was nothing she’d ever felt in her life more powerful than this.
Higher and higher she climbed trying to go faster, but William held her tight whispering soothing words, as if he understood this act and the love they shared could purge anything vile from her mind.
When she was sure she could take no more, and her mind was consumed only with him, he withdrew and flipped her onto her back and lifted her legs to wrap around his waist. William kissed her with such a passion as he entered her again with a hard thrust, withdrew, and slammed hard into her again.
He did this so many times, she did not know how she’d survive her climax.
When it came, she tossed her head back and squeezed her eyes tight.
“Look at me,” he said.
She opened her eyes as his climax overtook him. Her body and his quaking together, Agnes felt hope for the first time since leaving the great hall at Mugdock Castle all that time ago.
William did not pull out of her right away when they were finished. He lay on top of her and held her face in his hands. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, and then her lips.
“Do you know how much you mean to me?” he said, gazing intently into her eyes.
She felt cherished in that moment.
“I believe it might be as much as you mean to me,” she whispered.
“We have this, you know,” he said as he pulled her to lie on her side facing him and stroking her hair.
“I do.”
“And no one can ever take it away.”
She started to understand a little of where he steered the conversation.
“You and I can be separated by all the demons in hell, and we would still have this. Do you understand, Agnes?”
She thought she did, but it was hard to pull oneself out of complete and utter despair. Had they taken a step in the right direction? Aye. But that didn’t extinguish it like blowing out a candle.
“William, I cannot explain what it was like.”
“I know, love. And you don’t have to talk about it now. Only when you’re ready. But you do understand it will help.”
“Aye, I do know that. I suppose I’m trying to sort it all out for myself, before I can talk about it. What it was like waking each day, still in captivity, was bad enough, but then being in that place alone unable to leave. It was a nightmare from which I could not wake.”
William held her tighter. “What can I do?”
“There’s little you can do, besides give me time to work this through. And maybe—”
Agnes reached her hand down to feel him again. He was already coming to life once more.
“Och, but you are insatiable,” he said as he rolled her to her back and quickly entered her.
This time was hard and fast, which was exactly what she needed to further purge those awful memories away. She understood they had a gift, and at the moment she was grateful for it for so many reasons.
Falling onto his back William turned his head to her. “Are you telling me, I am your medicine? Because och, love. I’ll happily comply.”
Agnes smiled at his enthusiasm. She supposed there could be worse medicines than an amorous husband who would move heaven and earth for her.
“Aye, now can we please leave this place? The last thing I need is to see wooden walls.”
William didn’t seem to need any further encouragement. He hopped out of bed and quickly gathered up their belongings, finishing with the strings on her gown the owner had provided for her. Within the hour they were atop his horse once more and riding hard for Mugdock Castle.
The wind in her face and the thick muscled chest at her back further aided in her spirits.
When the castle walls finally came into view, she was certain she’d never seen a more joyous vision in her life.
Once inside the gate, William’s mother and brothers came running up to see her together with a sheepish-looking Neville.
“My dear, we were so worried. You have to know I prayed for you every night and my dearest assured me you would be saved. Well, here you are and you are looking quite gaunt. Now come and let us get you fed and rested.”
His mother practically barked orders for anything she could think of apparently to see to Agnes’s comfort. Agnes had never seen her so focused on anything besides her departed husband. Perhaps this whole business might help in her healing as well.
“Did the stories help?” she asked William after she finished issuing orders.
“Aye, mother. Right down to the very last one.”
“You cannot mean…”
“Aye. They had a rustic cabin at the Devil’s Pulpit.”
Agnes’s belly lurched at the thought, and she spewed her guts on the ground in front of her.
“Eww!” Geoffrey and Glenn said in unison.
“There now, do not fret. Let’s get you inside. No more talk of your ordeal, my dear. And you two,” she said to the boys. “See to it that’s cleaned up.”
They huffed and stomped their feet but headed toward the stable anyway. Agnes let William and his mother lead her to the great hall.
“Is it too much for you to be in here, love?” William asked when she stopped just inside the hall.
“I am well,” she said. “But you might want to do something about those passageways.”
“They’re already sealed.”
Good. That was one step closer to healing.
*
William searched high and low until he found the whittled figurines she’d tucked into her clothes chest. Gripping them tight, he brought them with him to their evening meal.
She was home now, and he would do everything in his power to return them to where they were.
With Elspeth, Connor, and John still at large and a significant complement of the king’s guard still about, he vowed to distract her as much as possible.
They had not told his mother yet of her condition as truth be told, he rather enjoyed knowing that it was their secret alone.
He didn’t feel the threat was the same for them now as it had been, but it was not completely removed.
The king had sent a missive stating how pleased he was Agnes had been found and that the majority of the rebels had given up once a few of them broke and revealed other names and locations.
The whole thing had fallen apart pretty quickly after that.
So, was he still concerned? Aye. But the likelihood of anything further happening was beyond slim.
When he entered the hall, he found her sitting by the hearth with the boys on either side of her, all hunched over looking at something.
He stopped for a moment to observe them.
When he heard her laugh, his heart lifted.
This would heal her. All of this; the love they shared, being around family.
All of it. He was left in no doubt it would heal him too.
“She is a treasure, William. Surely there could be no other who would be better suited for you and for us.”
He turned to see his mother standing beside him. She wrapped her arms around his middle which was something she hadn’t done in many years.
“And how do you fare, Mother?”
“I am working through my mortification that my own daughter turned out to be such a monster and I didn’t see it. All the signs were there for such a long time, and I was blind to it because of my own pain. I was unable to see any of yours, and for that I am so very sorry.”
“You owe no one an apology, Mother, least of all me.”