Chapter 18
I met up with Essie after her barrel race—which she won, no surprise—and together we took our seats in the stands to watch the team roping event.
“They’re not on first,” Essie said, scanning the list of names. She looked around, craning her neck. “Oh, there they are.” She pointed to the area behind the metal gates, but it was unnecessary.
I had spotted him the moment we sat down.
And damn, my boss looked good. Faded blue jeans and a red plaid button-down shirt. Black vest. Black chaps. Black cowboy hat. Hot as sin.
Oh, god, I had patted that man’s penis.
It wasn’t fair.
He deserved more than a dick pat, looking like that. He deserved a slow, thorough blow job. Too bad he would never let me be the one to give it to him. I wished he would. Just once, before we had returned to Lodestar Ranch and the real world. Seeing him sit there tall and proud in the saddle, I couldn’t think of a single thing I would rather do.
But nooo. He had to be a decent human being. Responsible. Dutiful. A fantastic boss who owned his mistakes and actually cared about the people who worked for him.
“Adam looks nervous,” Essie remarked.
That was true. There was a pinched look on his face. I chewed my lip, momentarily second-guessing myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have goaded him into this. There was no doubt in my mind that he would do well, but there did seem to be a doubt in his.
“He’s got this,” I said firmly. But in case he didn’t feel the same, I whipped out my phone and sent a quick text. I had no idea if he would get it before the event started. Maybe he didn’t have his phone on him now, during his warm up.
But a second later, he looked down at his hands and then up at the stands, searching. And then he found me. My heart kicked hard against my ribs as our gazes locked and held. His lips quirked, and he touched the brim of his hat. I grinned.
Essie hummed. “Zack is looking good.”
I arched my eyebrow. “Oh, is he?”
“Like you hadn’t noticed!” she teased, nudging me with her elbow.
I laughed like that was true, even though I honestly hadn’t noticed. I’d been too busy ogling his older brother. “You should come out with us tonight. We’re going for drinks at a local bar. I can text you the address.”
“Sounds fun. Brax isn’t coming, is he?”
I side-eyed her, confused. “Brax? No, he’s back in Aspen Springs. You know him?”
“Well, sure. We went to high school together. I’ve avoided him ever since. The man has a stick shoved up his ass. And not the fun kind.”
I snorted. “He’s not so bad.”
“Trust me, he is.” Essie gave a little smirk and tossed her bright blue hair over her shoulder. “Zack, on the other hand, seems like he could be fun. For a night, anyway. Although, I wouldn’t say no to Adam, either.”
Every cell in my body stiffened.
Essie burst into laughter. “Relax, James. I would absolutely say no to Adam, not that he’d ever put the offer on the table. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Anyway, hos before beaus and all that.”
“Adam is my boss. Nothing is going on.”
Essie gave me a look of patent disbelief.
“There’s not!” I said defensively.
“Okay, look. If we’re going to be friends, then you can’t lie to me. I hate that. No obfuscating the truth, either. Maybe nothing is technically happening”—she did air quotes around the word and rolled her eyes dramatically—“but that doesn’t mean there aren’t real feelings involved. Tell me the truth. You’d honestly be okay if I took Adam back to my hotel room?”
I glanced at Adam and my stomach twisted at the thought of him with Essie. Which was stupid. I had no right to lay claim to him when I knew I couldn’t do anything about it. And Essie…well, it wouldn’t hurt her career at all. It wasn’t fair. But she had asked for my honesty, and I gave it to her. “No.”
“Then don’t pretend otherwise. What if I had believed you and banged his brains out? How would we be friends after that?” She shook her head, blue hair gleaming in the sunlight. “Just be honest. It’s the only way to live.”
“Okay,” I said softly. Then, “Please don’t bang my boss.”
She grinned. “I won’t. Definitely going to bang his brother, though.”
“Go for it.”
And then Adam and Zack entered the ring. I sat up straighter, moving to the edge of my seat. Adam didn’t look nervous now. He looked focused. A competitor who was there to win.
Each cow in the small herd had a number. The judges called out the numbers, telling Adam and Zack which ones to separate from the herd. The buzzer went off, the clock ticked down, and the team surged to action.
It was incredible watching them work. Dimly, I knew Zack was doing…something…but I couldn’t peel my eyes from Adam. He was just so competent. Entirely confident in every move he made, every decision.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he would bring that same confidence to bed. Tell me what he wanted. Demand I take the same from him. I squeezed my thighs together, gripped the edge of my seat so tightly my knuckles whitened, and hoped Essie didn’t notice. I was here for work. Not to ogle.
His plaid shirt was rolled up to his forearms, revealing flexing muscles and tendons as Adam gives his horse commands. Goddamn, I was such a slut for forearms. Pure cowboy porn, that’s what this was. And I, for one, was soaking my panties in a very unprofessional way.
Adam tossed his lasso, and I held my breath. When it caught the calf around the neck, I clapped my hands. Adam dismounted, Zack bound his feet, and just like that, it was over. The buzzer sounded, calling time, and Essie and I leaped from our seats, whooping and hollering and stamping our feet.
“Adam!” I yelled. “Adam!”
Essie put two fingers to her mouth and let out a piercing whistle. Adam looked our way and lifted his hat high into the air before they both disappeared to the staging area.
For a moment, I just stood there, hands still clasped together from clapping, beaming stupidly at the arena. That had been amazing.
Essie gave me a little nudge. “We should go down there. Congratulate them. That was a winning score.”
“Sure,” I said, but I didn’t move, even as she gave me a quizzical look.
Because the truth was, I still felt…heated. And the way I wanted to congratulate him wasn’t professional. At all.
I counted to ten. Then I counted to twenty. It didn’t fully cure me, but it was enough to stop me from humping Adam’s leg. Hopefully.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s go.”
Fake it ‘til you make it.
It was time to bring out the big guns. And by guns, I mean my tits.
In general, it wasn’t my favorite weapon to deploy. Men were pigs and my breasts had a tendency to turn them into little boys. They gaped, they groped, they goggled. Basically, they treated me as a novelty instead of an actual person. I was just a pair of boobs to them.
Worse, they forgot about my clit.
But tonight I wanted attention, and if there was one thing my boobs were great at, it was getting attention.
Unfortunately, the only person I wanted attention from was the one person who refused to look directly at me.
Maybe I was being too subtle. I had kept it casual with a cutoff denim skirt that showed a little skin without risking accidental thong flashing. I paired that with a simple scoop-neck white tee shirt, because when it came to my tits, less was more. My turquoise pendant pointed straight to my cleavage. And, of course, my pink boots.
I leaned against the bar, fiddling with the pendant as I ordered a vodka soda with lime. I angled my body to give Adam the perfect view, but his gaze stayed riveted to the beer taps. The bartender, on the other hand, about swallowed his damn tongue.
“On the house,” he told my breasts as he placed my drink in front of me.
Before I could thank him, Adam’s hand slammed a twenty on the bar. “For her drink,” he said. There was a warning note in his voice that turned the simple words into a threat. “And her next one, too.”
“Gotcha.” The bartender slid the cash into his palm and headed for the other end of the bar where customers were signaling for his attention.
I side-eyed Adam, but he still refused to look at me. I sighed.
“So, James.” Essie sounded like she was struggling not to laugh. “Tell me about your name. How did that happen?”
“You mean, how did a nice girl like me end up with a boy’s name?” I laughed. “It’s not all that interesting, really. There’s an actor my mom likes, and he named his daughter James. She was pregnant and hormonal, and she thought it was the prettiest name she’d ever heard.”
“What would they have named you if you were a boy?” Zack asked.
“Marcus.”
Zack and Essie laughed. Adam took a swallow of beer. I had never felt so invisible in my life. I dipped my head, pretending to sip my drink while I sneaked a peek at my chest to make sure I hadn’t suddenly sprouted hair or deflated or something. Nope. Still hairless. Still perky double d’s.
“What about you?” I asked. “Adam is the oldest and his name starts with A.” He didn’t look up from his beer as I said his name and I checked my sigh. “Then there’s Brax. B. And finally, all the way to the end of the alphabet with Z. Is that a coincidence?”
“Nope.” Zack grinned. He had taken a few glances at my chest, quick and subtle, with no gross gawking. I appreciated that. “There’s a story. See, Mom had the idea she wanted five kids. Didn’t care if they were boys or girls, but she figured it would be nice to have some of each. Dad was on board because Dad was always on board with whatever Mom wanted.”
I felt Adam shift next to me, so at least I knew he was listening.
“Mom thought it would be cute to go down the alphabet, A through E. The first was Adam—would have been Abigail if he were a girl—and she had hopes that the fifth baby would be a girl so she could name her Eve.”
“Aww,” Essie said. “That is cute.”
“As you know, Brax was next. Another boy. But Mom still clung to hope that her brood would be mixed. She was so sure the next one would be a girl that she refused to let the doctor tell her the gender. She just went right on ahead and bought girl clothes.”
“All Zack’s baby pictures are of him in pink onesies,” Adam said, finally joining the conversation. “With butterflies and flowers and shit.”
Zack wasn’t at all perturbed. “That’s true. I was fucking adorable, too.”
“I bet you were,” I said, leaning into my laughter, pushing out my chest a bit, but all it earned me was another scowl from Adam.
“Well, it crushed my mom. She saw the writing on the wall and had no intention of being a mom of five rowdy boys. She put a stop to it right then and there. Skipped C and went straight to Z.”
“I’m sure she loved you just as much once she got over her disappointment.” I patted his arm comfortingly.
Now I had Adam’s attention. He glared at my hand like he could incinerate it with eye lasers. Slowly, I dragged my hand away from Zack’s arm, re-evaluating my strategy. Maybe Adam wasn’t a boob man, but sibling rivalry definitely got a response.
I wasn’t sure that was a game I wanted to play, though. I liked Zack. I didn’t want to cause problems between him and Adam. All three of us had a stake in Lodestar Ranch, but I was the only outsider. They were family. No matter who won, I would be the loser.
Anyway, flirting with one man to make another jealous? That wasn’t me.
None of this was me.
“Ladies’ room,” I mumbled.
“Want me to come with?” Essie asked.
I shook my head. “I’ll be right back.”
A lie. The bar was fortunately right across the street from our hotel room. I elbowed my way through the crowd and pushed open the door. Crisp air slapped me in the face. I welcomed it, took it deep into my lungs, letting the sharp sting pull me back to my senses.
A group of women dressed for attention surrounded me, trying to get in. I was blocking the door like an idiot. I dodged out of the way and leaned against the brick wall as I watched them strut their way inside. No doubt they were going to succeed where I failed and get the attention they wanted. Maybe even his attention.
Ugh.
It was better this way. I had enough standing in my way between me and my goals without adding sleeping with my boss to the mix. I fished my phone out of my bag, intending to text Adam that I was going back to our room with a headache. By the time he came back—if he came back, a thought that churned bile in my stomach—I would be asleep. Or pretend to be, anyway.
I had gotten as far as hey, sorry when the door banged open.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Adam growled, catching sight of me.
“I was just about to text you,” I said. I waved my phone as evidence. “Headache.”
The corners of his mouth turned down further. “You’re going back to the hotel?”
I nodded. “Go back inside. Have fun.”
“I’ll walk you back.”
“No, no. It’s fine. Really. The hotel is right there. I’m going straight to bed. You stay here with Zack.”
Two steps and he was towering over me. My head tilted back, thumping softly against the brick wall behind me, as I took in all his irate glory. The man was downright livid. A thrill shot through my belly. Finally, finally, I had pushed his buttons hard enough to get a response.
“The fuck I will,” he said. Furious enough to give me delicious goosebumps up and down my arms. “You’re not going anywhere in the dark alone. It is my responsibility—”
Oh, lord. This shit again. Duty. Responsibility. The things that made him so goddamn attractive when it came to Lodestar Ranch made me want to shake him when it came to me.
“We’re not at Lodestar right now. It’s after working hours and we’re at a bar. You’re not my boss here.”
For a moment, there was nothing but the heavy sound of his breathing. Not mine. I had lost the ability to take in oxygen. I squirmed inwardly, holding my breath, waiting.
“Is that a fact?” He leaned forward, crowding into my space, one forearm braced against the wall next to my head.
I swallowed and forced myself to breathe. “Yes. You’re not my boss tonight.” Please, for the love of Dolly Parton, do something about it.
His hand fluttered over my hair. Captured a lock and twirled it slowly around his finger. Gave it a sharp tug, making me gasp. “Are you drunk, buttercup?”
“Yes,” I lied. I had barely touched my vodka soda. But I wanted to be drunk. Wanted somewhere to pin the blame, because I had a feeling I was about to be a very bad girl.
“Now, that’s a shame.” He released my hair. It pinwheeled off his finger, brushing against my cheek. His fingertips lingered on my jaw.
“Why?” I whispered the question, almost pleading.
He captured my chin, pressed his thumb to my bottom lip. “This fucking mouth. Always smiling. I wonder what this mouth would look like moaning my name when I fuck you deep. What it would look like stretched around my cock.”
It was practically a dare, and I never backed down from a dare.
Locking my gaze to his, I touched the tip of my tongue to his thumb, then closed my mouth around his thumb. Reveled in the flare of heat in his eyes when I sucked.
“Are you drunk, buttercup?” he asked again, rougher this time.
I gave him the truth. “No.”
“And what do you want me to do about it?”
I was wet and slick when I pressed my thighs together. Anticipation shivered through me, silencing the voice in my head that warned I was in danger of damaging my career and my heart. “I want you to fuck me.”
The words had barely left my lips when his hand found mine and tugged me close. “Let’s go.”