Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
A aron carried the stack of dishes to the dishwasher. He scraped the leftovers into the trash, then slipped the plates and cooking pots into the dishwasher.
“I wish you had let me do that.” Belle’s voice brought his head around.
Her face pale, she looked delicate as if she’d break at any moment.
“Sit down.” He pulled a chair from the breakfast nook. “You look ready to drop.”
She sank into the chair. At least she hadn’t argued, but that didn’t make him feel better. She was shattered.
Her dark eyes reddened, then welled. A tear slid down her porcelain cheek.
“I’m sorry.” She looked around.
He pulled a tissue from the box on the counter. Moving to her, he pressed it into her hand.
“Let it out, Belle,” he said, his tone like grinding gravel.
She held a hand to her mouth and shook her head. Still, the tears came. Her narrow shoulders shook.
How had she become so thin? She’d never been heavy, but she’d always looked healthy. Now her hollow cheeks showed she was skipping meals and working hard … or worrying.
“It’s okay.” He stood before her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and give her the comfort and tenderness she deserved.
“You don’t know.” Her voice thin and choked, she stood and turned away.
“What don’t I know?” His hand on her shoulder, he turned her to face him. His eyes searched hers. “Tell me. Maybe I can help.”
She opened her mouth, but no words came. Dropping her gaze, she gulped air.
“You can’t keep this bottled up inside.” His finger on her chin, he lifted her face to his. “You’ll break. Trust me in this. I’ve seen more than my share of people’s homes burning and watching them pull their lives from the ashes.”
“It’s more than that,” she said brokenly. She took a shuddering breath. She lifted her head. The telling look in her eyes squeezed air from his lungs.
She’d just told him everything. Her husband wasn’t here because her marriage was falling apart.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was ragged. He held deep feelings for this woman, but he wouldn’t wish an end to anyone’s marriage. He’d seen plenty of that, too.
“You know?” Her face took on an expression of surprise.
“I can guess,” he said. “In my line of work, I see people at their worst. Your husband isn’t here, and he should be.”
The sob in her throat made him feel empty and ache inside. She covered her mouth with a trembling hand. Tears flowed freely down her white face.
“I’m sorry.” Without thinking, he gathered her in his arms. “I shouldn’t have been so blunt.”
What an oaf he was! He knew better than to blurt out something so cold, but she was hurting. He couldn’t stand that. He meant to help, but because of his inconsiderate remark, she was falling apart.
He held her close. If only he could take back what he said.
Lord, help!
She leaned her head against his chest. The tumult inside him eased, then turned to warmth. That she was in his arms and he was holding her shocked him, surprised him and held a warning. What he wanted to do—hold her, kiss her, push his fingers through her hair, lay her on the sofa, stretch out next to her, keep her close.
She was needy. She needed comfort—something he was willing to give.
The temptation pounded in his head.
Swallowing hard, he drew his hands from around her and placed them on her shoulders. He took a step back.
“I’m sorry.” Heat flooded her face. “I didn’t mean …”
“It’s nothing to do with you.” His voice gruff, he looked into her eyes.
Not true. It had everything to do with her and the rumbling of feelings looking for an opening to break free.
Her gaze searching his, she blinked.
What welled up inside him was relief and regret. She knew.
The affection he’d bottled up inside was laid open and bare for her to realize he’d felt something for her for years.
Was it love? He wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it was powerful and could slip from his control. He’d only felt that for one woman—the woman he wanted to hold and soothe—Belle Stedham York.
“If you want to tell me what happened, I’m willing to listen.” He’d do anything to take away her pain—part of which was his fault.
“I don’t want to burden you.” She pressed her lips together.
“You need to do something.” His gaze implored hers. “You’re ready to burst. Come on.” Touching her elbow, he guided her into the living room. In front of the sofa, he tipped his head.
That she sat filled him with relief. Keeping his distance, he sat, too.
“Chad and my marriage hasn’t been good for a while.” She breathed deeply. “In fact, I don’t know that it was ever good. If I hadn’t been pregnant, I never would have married him.” She lifted her gaze to his as if to gauge his surprise. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, but I thought you should know everything.
“I’m glad you trusted me with that.” He wasn’t surprised. He hurt for the woman he’d wanted since forever.
“I thought I should be grateful that he was doing the honorable thing.” She folded her hands between her knees and stared at them. “We were both in college. My parents didn’t want me to marry him, but I didn’t want to bring my baby into the world without a father. I had enough friends who struggled with single motherhood. I knew my parents would help me, but they’d already raised me. I didn’t want them to feel responsible for mine. What I didn’t know until after we were married was that getting me pregnant was Chad’s plan, too. He knew my parents’ financial situation. They live well. My parents paid for the wedding but didn’t give us a wedding present, which made Chad angry. Later, I learned he’d talked to my father about helping us financially. Dad was livid and told Chad I would be written out of his and Mom’s will.”
Aaron didn’t know if he’d heard her right. Judging from her expression, he understood her every word.
He didn’t know Chad, but the disgust building inside him made him wish she’d never met the guy.
“We both worked and applied for scholarships and student loans. Lyle was born and we struggled, but we graduated. Chad was accepted to law school, so I got a teaching job. When I learned I was pregnant with Kelsey, I wanted to cry. Chad told me I could make a decision.” She let out her breath, and her voice quivered. “I knew what he meant.”
So did Aaron. He thanked God she hadn’t made that decision.
“We were a family when Chad received his law degree. He held Lyle while I rocked Kelsey. We were all smiles at the graduation. Anyone who saw us would have thought we were happy. Every prestigious law firm wanted him.” Her voice sounded casual despite the vacant look in her eyes. “It was a relief to me because I could stay home with the kids. I made friends with the other wives at the law firm. We joined the country club. I volunteered at the school.”
Something raw and painful scraped the inside of Aaron’s chest. He was sorry he’d been right about her lunching with friends and volunteering at her children’s school.
“I wasn’t perfect.” She looked at him. “I don’t want you to think the end of our marriage was entirely his fault. He was gone so much. He’d promised to take the kids and me someplace, then at the last minute cancel because of some big case. The children were begging him for little things like going to the park or an afternoon of fishing at a nearby reservoir. It hurt all of us when he told them no.”
Her pain didn’t sound unreasonable. Aaron had always believed a father should put his family first—after God.
“I hated that I was suspicious, but I’d heard enough stories about the signs to look for. Finally, I opened my eyes, and the signs were there.” She blew out the words. “I kept praying for God to save the marriage. His answer was clear when Chad sent me the dissolution papers.”
“I’m sorry, Belle.” Shocked and chilled, Aaron struggled to process what she said.
Taking her hand, he squeezed it. He wanted to give her comfort.
She didn’t pull away. Her eyes welling, she nodded. Her appreciative smile pressed dimples into cheeks that at last had a hint of color. Lifting her gaze to his, she didn’t seem to know what to say next.
“Mom?” Lyle’s voice sounded from the staircase.
Belle’s face came up. Aaron turned to the staircase. Lyle dropped his gaze to Aaron’s hand wrapped around Belle’s. Too late, Aaron realized what he’d done. Belle’s gasp revealed her understanding of how their holding hands looked to her son. A man holding his mother’s hand? That showed something more than friendship.
“Do you need something?” Belle released Aaron’s hand and rose.
Aaron tightened his jaw against the cool air stealing away her warmth. He had taken her hand to comfort her. He’d used that moment to assuage his own desire.
It was a bad excuse and hadn’t fooled anyone.
He stood, too. Schooling his features, he looked at Lyle.
The boy’s wide eyes moved from his mother’s hand to her face, then he looked at Aaron.
A muscle worked in Aaron’s jaw. He wanted Belle’s children to trust him, not think he would take advantage of their mother. They had to know their parents’ marriage was ending. They didn’t need the added confusion of another man moving into their lives.
“I wanted a drink of water,” Lyle spoke hesitantly.
“Let’s go to the kitchen.” Belle turned away. She didn’t look at Aaron as she moved past him.
Lyle stared straight ahead and fell into step beside her.
Aaron didn’t move. He listened to them open a cupboard. He had thought to go into the kitchen and help them find a glass, though they’d know because they’d set the table for dinner. The cabinet closed, followed by the refrigerator spigot running.
Belle and Lyle reappeared and crossed the living room to the stairs.
“Thanks again for letting us stay.” Belle’s smile slight, she hesitated in front of Aaron.
“I’m glad it worked out.” Aaron felt awkward and guilty.
His feelings aside, he shouldn’t have held Belle’s hand. Belle had enough to sort through. He’d stand back and be there for her.
For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neitheranythinghid, that shall not be known and come abroad.
In the depths of Aaron’s heart lurked the feelings he held for Belle. They had waited for this moment and manifested themselves.
Depending on how long she and her children stayed at his cabin, he’d have to control what he felt.
Her children would know their father had done something that made him want to leave them. The breakup could be temporary. God didn’t honor divorce. Belle may have believed God had a healing hand on her marriage.
Then she received the dissolution papers—her marriage was over, but God could be working the miracle that would make her marriage whole. Aaron wouldn’t interfere with God’s plan.
“Yeah, thanks again.” Lyle seemed to have forgotten he saw Aaron and his mother holding hands.
Aaron doubted he had.
“You’re more than welcome.” Aaron hoped his smile reached his eyes.
“Good night,” Belle said softly. She and Lyle walked up the stairs. They spoke quietly as they moved down the gallery to their rooms.
When they were out of sight, Aaron pushed fingers through his hair. Turning to the glass wall that overlooked the valley, he stared out at the occasional light flickering in the distance that indicated the occupants in other cabins were still awake—or had left the lights on.
How much of a mess had he made of Belle’s life? He’d revealed too much. She was struggling.
He’d been fighting his feelings for her since he saw her at the Sweet Mountain rodeo fourteen years ago. He’d noticed her when he was riding a bull—bad move. The bull threw him. He didn’t remember landing, and he didn’t feel the pain. He rose and stared at the stands—straight at her—as he brushed himself off.
Her lips parted, she had stared at him. Yes, he was looking right at her. Her surprised friends looked from him to her, then burst into giggles.
He could see them teasing and elbowing her.
As if in denial, Belle shook her head and looked away.
His lips pressed together, Aaron caught the warnings his friends’ yelled. He looked over his shoulder, to the bull’s blazing stare. His pulse rocketing, he crouched, his mind calculating the bull’s next move.
The bull snorted and dropped his head. He pawed the ground.
Whistles and shouts filled the arena. Adrenaline pumping, the pickup men and clowns rushed to the bull and surrounded him.
The bull jerked his great head from one pick up rider to the next. The fire in his eyes showed he wanted to attack them all. Slowly, miraculously, the anger that flooded the animal’s body seeped away. As if bored with his paltry victory, the bull turned and trotted toward the gate.
A wave of relief flooded Aaron. He knew better than to let anything distract him when he was riding a bull, but the dark-haired girl with the large brown eyes was hard to miss.
He glanced over his shoulders. He needed one last glimpse of her.
Fingers pressed to her lips, she stared straight at him. The friend sitting next to her leaned close and whispered in her ear. As if in surprise, she looked at her friend.
“What were you thinking?” Aaron’s brother Levi rushed to his side. “You know better than to look up when you’re riding a bull.”
The rebuke should’ve embarrassed him. Instead, his desire to know more about the girl burned.
“Yeah,” Aaron said with a weary exhalation. He dragged his gaze from the dark-haired beauty. “I guess you could say I wasn’t thinking at all.”
“An understatement to say the least.” Levi fell into step next to him. He said more, but Aaron heard none of it.
He and his brother walked through the gate and into the ready area, where the other riders teased Aaron. He didn’t care. He deserved it. He’d committed the ultimate transgression of letting a girl distract him, but what a girl!
He had to get to know her. That night he vowed he wouldn’t rest until he knew her name.