Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
EVIE
“ W as,” he said in that gravel voice of his that managed to sound grave and princely all at once. He hoisted himself in one go onto the amethyst ledge just below mine, so we were finally at eye level. This meadow was warm, but he was warmer. “One of the best spies I ever had the honor to meet and an amazing man.”
At least Lythar was remembered fondly. Small comfort for someone who had perished for his Clan.
“What happened to him?” I forced myself to ask.
I’d been putting on a brave face and trying to focus, but Loryk’s words had stuttered all my drive.
Be gone.
He let out a long sigh, his hot breath tickling the soft hairs against my forehead.
“After your first wedding, the Serpents became restless,” he said. “I asked my best spies, including Lythar, to track their movements. What happened between that moment and the battle where I discovered my powers, I do not know. Edrion, the former Serpent general, threw Lythar’s head at my feet right before I blew him up. We haven’t found Lythar’s body yet.”
I closed my eyes, head caving between my shoulders again. Without his body recovered, Lythar hadn’t even had a proper warrior funeral.
“How do you know his name?” he asked.
“His brother blames us for his death. He hates us.”
“Little Loryk? How did you cross paths with him?”
“He’s a guard.”
Our little calm meadow, so perfectly still and tranquil, shook as a wave of his anger rocked it.
“He wasn’t one when I left and he didn’t hate either of us,” he said.
“How do you know?”
“Lythar raised the boy. I visited him every few days, made sure he was taken care of and focused on his carpentry apprenticeship,” he said. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was something very close to sadness in his voice.
That was…oddly attentive. “It seems someone else paid him a visit and convinced him otherwise.”
Be gone.
“Listen to me,” he said gently. I raised my head once more, looking at him. The purple light reflected so beautifully on that sharp face of his. “This is not your fault. Each being is responsible for their own decisions. Fabrian kept attacking our ships, I would have killed him with or without you. Perhaps not so publicly, but not anonymously, either. The Blood Brotherhood doesn’t skulk in the shadows. Lythar volunteered to spy for the Clan. He knew the risk, as do all my warriors.”
My gaze travelled across the endless lake. Tranquil as it was, a shiver still raced down my spine. Falling into that cursed stream with the snake monster had done nothing to quiet my fear of water. “Then why am I here and they’re there?”
“Because they can’t do what you can in Phoenix Peak and you can’t do what they do on the battlefield. We each play to our strengths.”
I huffed a miserable laugh. It was always about strength with the Blood Brotherhood. “You still haven’t told me why you’re so convinced I can do this.”
“I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.”
“You’re so full of it.”
“You are one of the smartest and most stubborn people I have ever met, and have learned to adapt to anything. You’re a survivor, through your own skills, not the demise of others. You also instill loyalty, not by what you promise, but through who you are–a rare breed of strength and heart.” He leaned closer to me. “I wish you’d trust yourself as much as I do. And that you won’t let a misguided, heartbroken boy’s words affect you.”
“They affect you, too,” I said. “I can feel you, remember?”
And right now, a deep, festering resentment mixed with sorrow pulsed from his end of the bond. It made me want to reach out and touch his cheek. I twisted my fingers together tighter.
He shook his head. “It’s different.”
“Why?”
“ I killed Fabrian. I stole you from the wedding. I sent Lythar to spy.”
“Just because I didn’t do all those things doesn’t mean I’m not involved.”
“Let me carry my sins and atone for them. You deal with your own.”
I sighed again. It was the only thing I had enough energy for, even in a dream. My entire body wanted to tuck itself in a cocoon and forget about wars and scheming and death.
Silence settled between us. For once, it wasn’t suffocating. We simply were, still staring at each other, neither moving. The duel from our last meeting seemed to have slashed the tension, at least when we were miles upon miles apart. Gods knew what it would be like when he returned from war.
At least here, I didn’t need to put on a brave face and pretend I knew what I was doing, even if he was here–the embodiment of how wrong my instincts could be.
I couldn’t be wrong again. Thousands of lives were at risk–and nobody was coming to save us.
“I wish Grandpa Constantine was still alive,” I said, like a scared five year-old, instead of something brave or meaningful. “He’d know what to do and say.”
“I’ve never met him, but I heard he was a great man.”
“Yeah. He was–” Amazing, caring, imperious and unflinching when he needed to be, and protected those around him with a fierceness Malhaven had rarely seen. “–great. He would have admired your courage.”
A hint of a smirk twisted his lips. It truly wasn’t fair that he was so damn gorgeous and tempting–especially now, when I felt small and beaten and wanted comfort.
“Is that a compliment I hear?” he asked.
“It’s the truth.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest to keep them occupied with anything other than reaching out for him.
I wanted a hug, nothing more. Strong arms to wrap around me and hold me upright. Just for a second. For a moment. I wanted to feel less alone, like I had someone standing beside me, grounding me in this whirlwind.
At the same time, I was upset with myself that I even craved that small touch.
I should have been unrelenting, untouchable, unstoppable.
Worst of all, I yearned for all of that from him , the one person I should never want again.
I stared at him long and hard.
At the scar right above his heart, a remnant from his childhood.
At his chiseled jaw, which he flexed whenever something displeased him.
At the eyes that always saw through me, and the lips he quirked in that damn smirk of his.
Before I knew it, I was leaning toward him. He didn’t say anything, as he watched me closely to see what I did next, eyes darkening with desire.
I felt that familiar fire sizzling in my chest, too.
I licked my lips–perhaps I wanted more than an embrace.
That single thought sobered me hard and fast. I flinched back and slid out of his reach forcefully.
Too forcefully–I lost my balance.
His hand shot toward me, but my arms uncrossed too slowly to grab his outstretched hand.
I fell from the amethyst ledge straight into the lake.