Chapter 48
Chapter
Forty-Eight
EVIE
I paced in my room, glowering at myself in the mirror.
“You couldn’t wait one more fucking day?” I growled.
Apparently, I couldn’t. The grim thought of divorce had swam around in my mind since Clara had revealed it would be a possibility.
For me and only me.
The rest of my cousins were stuck in their future marriages–but I didn’t have to be in mine if I didn’t want to, all because of that blasted contract.
I’d been grappling with that revelation for too long, and I still wasn’t sure about my answer. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t mention anything to him until I was sure.
Between my close brush with death, fury at the advisors, and the brush of his thoughts against mine while we were wide awake, the word had simply been yanked to the surface.
The barriers between our minds had restitched instantly, starting with his side for once, and he’d left to talk whatever sense was possible into his parents, without attracting even more of the advisors’ attention.
Right now, I only had a vague inkling of his existence, tamped down to almost nothing. I couldn’t detect any dominant emotion.
Was he furious?
Was he overjoyed?
Should I care?
I growled once more, fisting my palms.
What an absolute mess.
A shiver of awareness raced down my spine.
He was coming.
I ran to my back garden window.
Nothing.
Then chaos broke out in my front courtyard, constricting my heart.
“Shit.”
Despite the numbness in my toes, I raced down the stairs and onto the veranda, only to see The Dragon masterfully dodging the rows of moving spikes which had risen from both sides of the main path.
Adara appeared next to me and tsked. “He stepped on the hexagonal rock, didn’t he?”
“Owyn!” I roared. “Shut it down!”
Owyn was already hurrying from the downstairs kitchen, Anya held tightly in his arms. “It’s not done yet, I haven’t installed the failsafe.”
“Godsdammit.” I looked at The Dragon somersaulting through the air to avoid the next rows of spikes. His crimson robe flowed through the air like a rain of blood. “Go left, go left! Avoid the red flower.”
He vaulted right out of its way just as the plant puffed the sleep-inducing pollen.
I heaved a sigh of relief. He would have been dead to the world for days if he’d inhaled even a whiff of it.
“Relax.” Adara crossed her arms in front of her chest, watching the display like it was some deranged training session. “He’s The Dragon. If your traps can best him, he’s no true warrior.”
“If they can best him, he’s dead,” I hissed.
“Then let’s hope they don’t.”
“Do not step on the moss patches!” I yelled, a breath too late.
The tip of his boot barely grazed the tender stems and thick, sharp chains burst from the ground, rushing toward him.
“Enough.” The Dragon propelled himself into the air. With his unbelievable speed, his feet shuffled quickly between the line of tall trees, using their bark as anchors.
My jaw dropped. He was truly a sight to behold.
“Pa-pa,” Anya pipped up, completely enthralled. “Is that a god?”
“No, bunny, he’s the prince I told you about.” Owyn hummed. “I need to put a net up there as well.”
The Dragon kicked himself away from the last tree and landed on the veranda, straight as a pole and unmoving as a mountain.
“What the fuck, menace?” he dead-panned before his long strands of hair had even settled on his shoulders.
Anya burst in gleeful cheers and clapping.
I cleared my throat. “After the scrolls were stolen and five guards barreled into my bedroom, I had to take extra precautions.”
“At least you didn’t set up the trap just for me.”
Adara scoffed. “We’d need a snare designed by Xamor himself to cage you.”
“Thank you for your sunny disposition, Adara, always appreciated.” His nostrils flared as he finally looked at me, gaze lingering on the cuts Goose had already patched. “We need to talk.”
He followed me in funeral silence up the stairs, into my bedroom. I could hear my blood pumping.
The last time he’d been here was on our awful wedding night, when I’d threatened to burn the house down with us inside it.
I closed the door behind me, taking my sweet time to turn around. My bedroom was filled with so many memories of us and he stood in the middle of it, as if he’d never left. He stared at the spot he’d last seen me in, wrapped in my heavy wedding dress, unshed tears in my throat, and blue tendrils erupting from my hands.
“Why didn’t you come in through the window?” Like you used to , I almost said.
“I thought it best to walk in through the front, in case you wanted to incinerate me again,” his voice was cold. Detached. I hated it.
“Serves you right for trying to be considerate.” I chuckled awkwardly.
The tension was almost suffocating.
A corner of his mouth ticked up, but there was no warmth to him. Like he’d locked the real him away and only The Dragon had come to visit me.
The seconds ticked by.
He still hadn’t turned fully toward me, a side of his face illuminated by the lone candle, the other covered in shadows.
“Listen.” I wound my still aching fingers. “About what you heard–”
“We need to leave for the Harvest Festival.”
My hands dropped. What in the–“Where? The ceremony’s in the Capital.”
“Frostfall Reach, at the Northern border, where they say the gods came down to Malhaven and blessed our Clan eons ago.”
“Why?”
“Five reasons, all of them good.”
“Start with the weakest.”
“We didn’t go on a royal tour after the wedding. The civilians near the border are entitled to see their future queen.”
“Then take Kaya and–”
A growl ripped from his throat. He clenched his jaw, leashing it as fast as it had appeared.
“Kaya will accompany us, yes,” he said with forced calm. “You have just escaped a public assassination attempt and I wounded Banu’s pride. You’re not staying alone in the Capital anymore.”
To be honest, the Capital didn’t feel like the safest place to be in right now, deadly garden or not.
“What are the other reasons?” I asked.
“We have won our most dangerous war in generations. Every Clan member has the right to celebrate along with us, including those in Frostfall Reach. The people want to see us and mourn those who have fallen for the future of our Clan. Together.”
Grandpa Constantine would have called that good leadership. Loyalty to the Clan sometimes sprouted from the smallest seeds. “What else?”
“We will escort the civilians who sought refuge in the Capital. The war is over, they can return to their homes,” he said. “And if Banu and Valuta waited for me to be in the Capital to strike and jeopardize so many lives, then me leaving temporarily will give us the time we need to figure out their schemes.”
I nodded. All valid motives. “And the most important reason?”
“My mother and father just tried very hard to convince me not to go up North, which means Banu and Valuta don’t want me there. We need to find out why.”
I cursed under my breath. “Do these people never rest?”
Blow after blow, that had been the strategy to their success. Overwhelm their adversaries into submission.
“That would make our lives far too easy.” He rolled his massive shoulders, leather armor crinkling under his ceremonial robe, and finally turned, pinning me on the spot with his spearing gaze. A storm raged behind those bright eyes of his. “You want a divorce?”
That word. Seven little letters shouldn’t have stabbed me so deeply.
“I–” I licked my lips. “I don’t know. Right now, I see no other option.”
His nostrils flared, but he kept his voice calm. “Why?”
Instead of replying, I chewed on my bottom lip. Today had been an emotional explosion, it wasn’t the best moment to discuss our future. “Maybe we should talk about this another time.”
“You’ve been avoiding me since I returned, I almost lost you today, and now I’m supposed to ignore that you want to leave me?” A mirthless laugh passed his throat. “Is it because of the advisors? If so, we’re going to get them. I promise on my life and my ancestors’ sacrifices, Banu and Valuta will not escape this. Don’t let them win.”
I shook my head sadly.
“Then why?” he asked, a hint of desperation coating his tongue.
“Because,” I snapped, not able to voice the words. Guilt and desperation bubbled up inside me.
“You’re telling me you want to rid yourself of me and you don’t know why ?” His jaw twitched. “Or you can’t say it?”
I pursed my lips to keep the ugly words from spilling out. “It’s been a hard day for everyone–”
“Why, Evelina?”
My voice rose in tune with the tension in me. “Because I can’t forgive you!”
His eyes widened, the storm behind them mellowing in a sea of sadness. His gaze finally dislodged from mine, seeking the shadows entering from the window.
My hands trembled, but there was no danger of my power blazing. I felt unbelievably cold inside. “How am I supposed to trust you? I don’t know why you did what you did and you can’t tell me. I can’t–”
Tears closed my throat. Gods, why did speaking the truth hurt so much?
“I can’t just accept and move on, pretend it never happened.” My voice cracked. “I don’t know why you hurt me so much. How am I supposed to forgive? You’re asking me why, when you can’t answer my questions? If you were in my position, would you have forgiven me?”
“Yes,” he said without a hint of hesitation. It wasn’t right, but I felt a weird sense of comfort in hearing that–which only made the guilt worse.
I ran my hands through my hair, feeling like the two halves of me were trying to rip me apart. “It’s not fair.”
“It’s not,” he muttered sadly.
“I didn’t deserve that pain.”
“No, not even for a second.”
“I believed words once and I got burned. I can’t do it again.” I took a deep, centering breath. “I have to respect myself more than to just accept what you’re saying without proof.”
“You feel every part of me.”
“I don’t have faith in my own emotions. I don’t know which are mine and which ones are influenced by the bond. I feel you in me constantly, how do I know that isn’t affecting my decisions when it comes to us?” I shook my head. “Love without trust is impossible. Maybe some people don’t need it, but I do. Just like you want me to want to be in your presence of my own accord, I want to be able to trust you without relying on the bond detecting truth from lies.”
“So you want to leave,” he said.
“I don’t know.”
I swear his eyes glazed over in the low light. Then he blinked, long lashes brushing against his high cheeks, and the glassiness vanished.
He could leash his emotions in a breath, while mine stirred and simmered out of my control.
I envied him.
“I promised I would respect your decisions, whatever they may be.” His voice sounded strange. Strangled. Vulnerable. “But whoever told you we can get a divorce is not your friend. We signed a magical contract. We are bound to this marriage.”
“No, we aren’t. My cousins are, all of them.” I gulped and met his questioning stare once more. “The contract clearly states it’s between Protectorate and Blood Brotherhood members. In the Protectorate, we officially become a member on our eighteenth birthday. I was secluded in the mountains when I was supposed to pledge my loyalty.”
A wave of shock shook my room. Or maybe it just shook me. Everything looked hazy all of a sudden. Except for him, now bathed in light, like he’d been on the day when I’d signed that blasted document.
“I am not an official Protectorate member.” I struggled through the mist engulfing me, focusing on him. How ironic that the person I was shattering was the only one grounding me right now. “The contract is void. According to Clan law, we might not even be married.”