Chapter 15
CHARLIE
The next couple of days are torture. The tiles were positive for asbestos, so the project is on hold until the asbestos is removed and the house is deemed safe.
At the office, I’ve been focused on going over the revised plan and making sure everything else is in order. My worry is that if I don’t get this right, I’ll be replaced. Raja hasn’t said as much, but my brain hates me.
The only good thing, I guess, is that I’m not around Brad every day, and I can’t be tempted to listen to him.
It doesn’t matter. I don’t really expect my parents to treat me like an adult. But Brad… He didn’t have to go along with it.
Late at night, during weak moments, I let myself think about him.
The way he looked at me. His deep laugh.
And I swear, I’m going to cut my hair because every time a strand falls in my face, I can feel his fingers sweeping it away.
The longing for him cripples me, and I have to fight the urge to call him.
Don’t shit where you eat. My dad’s crass words taunt me. How am I in this position again? But it’s not the same.
And to top it off, I’m trying to plan this anniversary party all alone. Which is why I’m at my parents’ house, trying to get decorating ideas.
“I’m sorry, Charlie. We made a mess of things.”
“It’s fine.”
Mom’s repotting her plants. Stress-gardening is a thing. Even in the winter. Especially in the winter, according to my mom.
“You’re not very good at lying.” She spreads newspapers over the kitchen floor and places her supplies off to the side. “Your dad said you’re not speaking to Brad.” There’s a question there, but I’m not exactly sure what it is.
And how could I explain it to her? “Brad always worked hard. On the project, I mean. He treated me like an adult. And it was nice not being Chuck and Minni’s kid.” I slip on my gloves, avoiding her shrewd gaze. “But I guess that was all a lie.”
“I don’t think so, kiddo— Sorry.” She shakes her head as she carefully pulls the Jade plant out of the old pot and holds it over the new one to gauge how much soil she’ll need. “I’ve noticed a change in Brad over the last few weeks.”
I don’t say much since I’m not good at lying to my mom. “Oh?”
“He seemed happier. I think volunteering filled something in his life that was missing. I hope this doesn’t mess that up.” She hands me the Jade plant and then adds soil to the bottom of the pot.
I stabilize the plant in the new pot as she uses a cup to backfill around it. I try not to snap at her. “I wouldn’t do that. And we need volunteers.”
“But he might quit.”
My gaze darts to her face. “Did he say that?”
“No. He’d tell your dad first anyway. But he’s like that. If it’s going to cause you problems, Charlie, he’d quit.”
The thing is, I know she’s right. At least the renovations are on hold right now. “What I don’t understand is why. Why is it so hard for this town to treat me like an adult? It’s not even one person. It’s the entire town.”
Mom stares down at her hands. “I’m sorry.” She smiles at me with tears in her eyes. And my mom never cries. “I mean, I’m sorry, but I’m also not.”
“What are you talking about?” She’s kinda freaking me out. “Mom?”
“You were a wild kid, so curious about everything.”
“What’s that…? Wait. Is this about the time I was playing in the creek and hit my head?” I touch the scar above my brow.
She tilts her head and studies me. “You don’t remember what happened?”
The twisting knot in my stomach gets worse, and I’m not sure I want to know more. “I remember some of it. Not everything.”
“I should have realized.” She touches my leg, getting dirt on my jeans. “You’d just turned five. I’m so sorry, Charlie.”
“So you’ve said.” My words are harsher than I intend, but I can’t help it. “Tell me what happened, Mom.”
“Yes, of course.” She brushes the soil off her pants. “I wasn’t the mayor yet, but I was on the city council. Your dad was the football coach.”
“Dad coached football?”
She smiles, but it has an edge to it. “For a short time. He didn’t enjoy it as much as he thought he would.”
There’s something in her voice. I’m not sure I believe her, but I motion for her to continue. Now I need to hear it. How much don’t I know?
“It’s hard to find a daycare with evening hours.
Sometimes I had meetings, and your dad had practice, so Harper watched you.
She was a senior in high school. Anyway, one time, she was watching you.
Around four in the afternoon, you dozed off on the couch.
Harper used that time to clean the kitchen.
She liked to have the house tidy when we got home.
” Mom presses her lips together and clutches the cup in her hands.
I place my hand over hers. “What happened?”
She looks dazed, and she blinks a few times. “When Harper checked on you, you were gone. She searched the house and the yard. Then she called Brad. She didn’t want to upset us if you were just hiding. You loved playing hide-and-seek.”
“Harper still blames herself,” I remember Brad saying when we were at the ER.
“I wasn’t hiding,” I guessed.
She shakes her head. “No. Brad called us. Then he called everyone he could think of. I swear the entire town of Dixon Hills was out searching for you that day. It was starting to get dark, and we were terrified of not finding you in time. Of course the police chief and his guys were helping too. It took hours, but we finally found you.”
“Down by the creek?” That part I remember. Playing in the creek. Falling. The pain in my head. I touch the scar above my brow.
“Yes. You had to get stitches. They kept you overnight at the hospital for observation. After that, the town decided to adopt you as their own.”
“That explains a lot.” The many times someone would see me out and say, “Get on home now, Charlie.” And why I never got away with anything as a teenager. “No one told me.”
“That wasn’t intentional. We just didn’t talk about it.”
I want to ask about Harper. Is that the reason she’s struggled so much? It wasn’t her fault. But I think that might be a question for Harper.
That’s why everyone’s so protective of me. And why Brad went along with it. It explains everything. But it doesn’t fix it. The feeling of betrayal. How much it hurts. And I’m not sure anything will.
Wednesday, February 11th
Raja usually doesn’t mind sharing an office with me. Right now? They hate it. How can I tell?
“I hate this, Chas,” they say for the millionth time today. “I need my own office.”
“Sorry,” I mumble, scribbling on the paper in front of me so hard it makes holes.
Raja leans over to grab it out of my hands. “This isn’t preschool. Now we have to print this again.”
“No one uses paper anymore.”
“Just…” They take a deep breath and blow it out—dramatically, if you ask me. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“Really?”
“It’s a one-time deal.”
Droning on about how much I miss Brad might get me kicked out of our office for good. But I need to talk to someone. Someone other than my mom. “No one treats me like an adult.”
“I do.” They take the remaining flyers from me and place them on their desk. “Except on days like today. For obvious reasons.”
That makes me laugh. “Fair.” I push my hair back, but that only reminds me of Brad. I drop my hand. “My dad and mom mostly. They asked Brad to take care of me.”
“And you don’t want Brad to take care of you?” They tilt their head.
“No, I…I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” I shake my head. “You don’t get it. I’ve been treated like a kid most of my adult life, and I’m tired of it.”
They study me, and I try not to squirm. “I get it, Chas.” Their lips twitch. “I’ve seen the video from the fair. Those girls toppled like dominoes.”
We both laugh because they really did. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Are you more upset at your parents for asking? Or at Brad for agreeing?”
I shrug. “Not sure.”
“Really? Because you’re still talking to your parents and ignoring Brad completely.”
“No—”
“He stopped by three times yesterday. And called twice. I finally had to ask him to quit.”
Oh. I shrug one shoulder as I force back unexpected tears. “I thought he was my friend.”
“I’m not an expert. But it makes sense. You trusted Brad.” They pat my arm. “It just hurts more because you’re in love with him.”
My eyes dart to theirs. “No. I’m not. I can’t be.” They raise both brows.
Shit. I am.
I’m in love with Brad. I click the pen in my hand. “What do I do?”
Their mouth twitches again. “You’re the adult.”
Click. Click. Click. “Raja…”
“You’re killing yourself trying to get this party together. And it’s only three days away. An adult doesn’t do everything by themselves. An adult asks for help when they need it.” They lean over and grab the pen from my hand. “And, Chas, you need it.”
I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. “Thanks, Raja,” I say, standing.
They step back. “No. No hugging.”
“Company rule?”
“Hell no, Raja rule. Go call your man.”
He’s not mine. Not yet. But I call him, and he picks up on the first ring. My throat is dry, but I can do this. I can admit to Brad I need him without confessing how much.