Rule #30
SCREW THE RULES; THE CHAOS IS WORTH IT
CAI
The Miami air hits me like a warm, wet hug.
The air smells of jet fuel and ocean salt.
Only a few months ago, we had been here, same terminal in the same airport, exiting after grabbing our bags from the same luggage carousel.
Last time, I was a sad girl with red-rimmed eyes, chasing my toxic ex, whom I refused to admit was my ex, to convince him to stay with me. How things have changed.
Now, I am here with the most perfect guy, carrying a suitcase mostly filled with gifts, his hand possessively on my lower back. I am excited to see my family, to tell them about my work and my relationship.
“You know,” Sonny says, pulling me close with a little squeeze on my hip. “It feels different this time.”
“I was just thinking the same thing,” I say, looking at that awed smile Sonny seems to wear all the time these days, and it makes my heart swell to see it. “I’m a little less worried this time.”
“But there’s still worry?” Sonny asks.
“Yeah,” I say. “But it’s different. Last time, I was worried that my family would be disappointed. This time, I’m worried that if I mess things up with you, they’ll get rid of me and keep you.”
Sonny laughs softly. “That’s funny. As if you’d ever be able to mess things up with me.” He winks at me and places a kiss on my forehead as the car service pulls up.
Several people in my family offered to pick us up, but since it is noon on Christmas Eve, I know the pig is already roasting, and drinking has already begun. It will be better if we just take a car so we don’t disrupt the festivities.
I have done my best to prepare Sonny for the holiday scene, but seeing is believing.
His mouth hangs open as he sees the gaudy decor on all the front lawns, a mix of nativity scenes intermingled with Santas, elves, and snowmen, faded and discolored by the Florida sun.
Music is blaring, and families are walking in the street, and tables are set up with dominoes by my parents’ house.
The car lets us out in front of the house, and my family pours out to greet us as if they’ve been waiting. I’m not sure if they are happier to see Sonny or me.
Sonny greets each one by name and hugs them so close as if they are each long-lost friends.
My face hurts from how wide I was smiling, but I can’t help it; this is everything I could ever want. What’s more, he seems completely happy to be in this position. I expected to feel like he was my arm candy, mine to show off. Instead, he is acting like he is here with the winning lottery ticket.
Rey hands Sonny a beer, and someone takes our stuff inside.
We are led out back where the lechon is roasting.
Abuela is in her fanciest house dress. After giving me the update about my cousin Lizzie’s upcoming nuptials and describing the Christmas card from our relations in Vermont, she brings out a box of her most prized possessions to show off to the famous Lawson Jones.
I didn’t even translate; watching them communicate in their own version of charades, meets broken English, was too cute.
They even huddled together conspiratorially a few times.
Alex comes over to me while I’m watching them and says, “It’s pretty great, right?”
“What’s great?” I ask.
“You asked me once what it was that endeared me to Rey; why I gave him a chance after years of turning him down?”
“Yeah,” I say, recalling the question. “You told me not to underestimate a man who can make you laugh.”
Alex nods. “Right, but I should’ve said, don’t underestimate the man who makes it easy to laugh with, to be with. That would’ve been a better answer. It’s more than just making me laugh; he makes it easy for me to be me. So that’s what I’m asking; it’s pretty great, right?”
I smile, understanding exactly what she means. “Yeah,” I say. “It’s pretty fucking great.”
The afternoon flies by and, thankfully, cools down quickly, as I can feel my clothes sticking to me in the humidity. Mama keeps bringing out water and insisting we all drink less spirits or we’ll end up with solacion and ruin Christmas.
Sonny leans in close and asks quietly, “What’s Solacion?”
“I think it’s sun sickness. I’m pretty sure it’s the number one killer of Cubans, right after having all your affairs in order.”
Sonny laughs, “Gotcha. So it’s not a real thing, right?”
I give him a confused look. “I’m actually not sure. I assume it is! I’ve been diagnosed with it many times growing up.”
“Diagnosed by a doctor?”
“By my mom and tias.”
Sonny seems to consider this thoroughly. “Well, just in case,” he says, and then chugs the water he is given. “You never get too old to listen to Mama, right?” He adds.
I smile, wondering not for the first time how I’ve gotten so lucky.
SONNY
It isn’t until the sun starts to set that I notice the twinkling lights draping over all the trees in the backyard, adding to the dreamlike quality.
I had gifted Cai a cream-colored dress for the trip; it’s lined with lace, cinched at the waist, and, at the right angle, the light passing through it shows off her glorious body underneath.
Even though she told me she didn’t like wearing light colors because she doesn’t think they’re flattering, she wore it for me today. She looks beautiful.
I had believed that happiness looked really good on her since we’ve been living together in Arizona, but now, seeing her in her element, among her family, I can really see the difference between Cai now and the Cai from three months ago. I thought she was cute before; she is incomparable now.
The celebration is huge, like a street fair, but where you know everyone, and you feel totally at ease.
One of Cai’s tios has brought a guitar, and after eating our weight in the most delicious roast pork, rice, and beans, I hold Cai in my arms as she relaxes against my chest and we listen to him play some Latin Boleros.
Cai translated the words of one of the songs for me. “If you despise me for being poor, I’ll give you that reason… I’ll give you my heart, in exchange for my poverty…” The song aches and yearns with each line.
“It’s so sad sounding,” I observe.
“It’s yearning more than sad. I always feel like the singer just wants her so much; he’d do anything. He’s tortured by his want for her.”
“Ah, that I get,” I say, thinking about that jealousy I felt whenever Cai mentioned her ex around me. “I wanted you that way. I still do.”
Cai smiles and kisses me softly in response.
The song finishes, and Cai’s uncle comes over holding out his guitar. “Mi hijo,” he says to me, catching me off guard. “I heard you play. Take over for a bit, will you?”
I look over at Lucas, grinning at us as if he has gotten into the cookie jar. You tell one interviewer that you play a little guitar, and that makes the news…
“Oh, I play very little…”
Cai looks shocked. “You play guitar?!”
I suddenly get an idea, and I take that guitar. “Yeah…” I say as I walk over to the stool Cai’s tio had vacated.
I’m not downplaying my abilities, but there is only one song I know that feels appropriate. I start strumming the cords and immediately see the recognition spark in Cai’s eyes.
I’m not very good at playing, and my singing is worse, but “Growing Old with You,” from The Wedding Singer, is easy enough to get through.
“Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you…”
By now, her family has started gathering around, and tears have sprung to Cai’s eyes.
“I’ll miss you, kiss you…” I do my best to finish the tune.
When Abuela handed me the heirloom earlier, I thought the gesture was sweet. Now I can feel a force building behind my impromptu song. Just like those hurricane winds that blew us together just three months ago, I feel a force pushing me towards our next step.
The family all cheers and claps as if they just watched Coldplay perform as I round out the last note.
I hand Rey the guitar, and I go to Cai. “I have made it my life’s work to build fake worlds.
But for the first time ever, I want to build a real one with you.
I want to live with you and be with you and grow old with you, and never miss a moment, so…
" I pull the ring box out of my back pocket and open it, exposing a golden hammered band with a citrine stone. “Will you marry me?”
Cai’s hands fly to her mouth, trembling slightly. “Are you serious?” She says in disbelief.
“Of course,” I say, chuckling.
“When did you get a ring?!” She asks.
I look over at Abuela, who is clasping her hands together and smiling widely. “Abuela gave it to me earlier. She slipped it to me when you were chatting with Alex.”
Cai gasps again. “She did?!”
“Cai, you’re killing me. Can you give me your answer?”
“Oh my god, yes! Sorry! Yes, of course, yes!”
I let out the breath I’ve been holding, slide the ring on her finger, and kiss her. More whoops and cheers from the family.
“Your cousin Lizzie last Christmas, and now Cayetana!” Cai’s mom calls out, tears filling her eyes. “Our family is so blessed.”
There’s a huge bang overhead. “Is that fireworks?” I ask, seeing the sky explode with color.
“Yeah, looks like they’re setting them off early in celebration,” Cai explains. “They usually shoot them off at midnight.”
“I thought it was thunder at first; for a second, I thought maybe we’d get our hurricane after all,” I say, smiling.
“You know you’re the only person who prays for a hurricane,” Cai points out. “Oddly, people don’t hope for large storms that leave a path of destruction.”
“One brought me to you, so I guess I developed a fondness for them.”
Cai considers this for a moment and then says, “Can we have a long engagement?”
I laugh lightly. “Had enough of the whirlwind romance? Want to enjoy things a bit before we move on to the next?”
“My thoughts exactly,” Cai purrs, leaning into me as I hold her under the exploding sky.
A gentle breeze blows by, carrying a line of green twinkling cocuyos, as if signing off on the beautiful love story it has orchestrated.