Chapter 5 #2
As usual, Tank was tuned in exactly where he needed to be. He put his water bottle on the table and looked directly at Jinx. “Like what? What kind of name?”
Jinx started pacing across the room. “I don’t know Radical Dissonance?”
I scowled. I wasn’t going to be radical anything. “If we’re changing the name. If.” I added a glare for good measure. There was nothing in our contract that said we had to go along with this. But… “It has to be better than that.”
“Okay…what else? Let’s brainstorm.” Jinx put his hands on the table and leaned forward. “Wolf? Kai?”
Wolf grunted. “Fatal Break.”
Gonzo threw out, “Fatal Attraction.”
“Isn’t that a movie?” Finn scrunched up his face. “How about something with Soul. Like Fatal Soul? I mean, music hits the soul, right?”
Everyone was nodding. But that wasn’t quite it. After a moment or two, Cat said, “What about Soul Shred. Music hits the soul, and you shred.” She played an air guitar.
Everyone looked at her, the room silent for a long heartbeat.
Then the marketing dude made some weird noise.
“Hang on…” He opened a sketchbook and drew something.
“Check it out.” He turned the paper around to show a rough sketch of a grim reaper with a guitar instead of a sickle.
Or rather, a guitar that kind of resembled a sickle.
“That would make a killer tattoo, huh, Wolf?”
Wolf tilted his head back and forth.
Finn tapped on the image. “And maybe a star-thing behind it?”
“Star thing?” Wolf asked.
“Yeah, you know.” He turned the notebook around and grabbed a pencil, drawing out what he meant.
“Oh, pentagram, yeah, that’ll look badass.” The market guy took the book and sketched the star pattern behind his reaper. “Yeah? Soul Shred.” He etched the name in script. “Maybe more like with blood dripping or something. I can polish it up on the computer.”
“Guys?” I looked around at my band, Finn, Gonzo, who had been quieter than normal, and Tank. I didn’t want to make the decision alone. “What do you think?”
“Fucking cool.” Finn gave a chin nod.
Tank elbowed Finn. “I like it.”
“That’s what I said,” Finn huffed.
“Gonz? What do you think?” I needed him to weigh in as well.
His face was unreadable until he smiled broadly. “I like it. I’m stoked, man.”
“Guess we’re in with Soul Shred.” I turned to Jinx and watched him cross the room.
He slapped my back while giving me a big hug. “This is going to be killer.”
The room erupted in noise, since we were all excited about this change now, but then Miami slapped the table three times. “Settle down. Guys. Come on. There’s more.”
“More?” Finn asked, eyes wide. How much more could there be?
Wolf sighed. “I know you’re not going to like this, but we need to work on your songs. Not the lyrics or even the melodies, but the overall structure.”
“Huh?” I was confused. I’d thought they liked our music. “We’re not going to completely change everything. What the fuck?”
Finally, Jinx pulled out his chair and sat. “We don’t want you to change everything. But think about how your songs are structured. How do they sound compared to the hits? Look at our songs.” He raised his hand. “Look at Social Sinners, Maiden Voyage. Or any of the greats.”
Cat tapped her nails on the table in front of her.
“This is kind of what I was trying to get at with you. I think you need better hooks and to think about the order. Verse, chorus, verse, bridge. Sometimes you don’t have a well-defined chorus, and you need to repeat whatever the hook is more often.
You know? People like singing along and that starts with the hook. ”
Finn and Gonzo mumbled at each other, and I could imagine what they were saying. They actually wrote most of the music, but I wrote the majority of the lyrics. Then we came together and hammered it out. It was a compromise rather than a consensus, and I could see what they were telling us.
“Think about it. Work through it. See what you can come up with to make them better.” Wolf touched his chest. “I’ll be here all the time now that the tour is over, and we’ll help. But you have to do the work.”
“I get it.” Finn and Gonzo glanced over at me, but I had no clue what they were thinking. Tank had no comment as usual. “Is that it?”
“Yeah. Meet us back in the studio next week. Go.” Jinx dismissed us like school children, and I admit a part of me was angry. But that made me feel guilty. These guys had done nothing but support us, and honestly, their suggestions were to make us better. The whole thing left me torn.
Once we were back at the house, I felt compelled to talk with Matty. We’d had a great time in Chicago, but that was so long ago. Plus, he hadn’t been wrong about his short visit—the short part. I missed the hell out of him. It should be his day off, so I called.
“Daddy! I was hoping to hear from you. How’s it going out there?”
I grunted. “Long day.”
“Okay. Tell me.”
I was once again surprised at how well he knew me. And how much I needed him. I sighed, not ready to give in and tell him what I was thinking. “I just miss you, and it’s good to hear your voice.”
“You don’t have to miss me, Daddy. I could come out there and stay with you.”
“If you come out to stay, we would need another place to live. I’d have to talk to Jinx about that. I mean, they already bought this huge house for us.”
“You’re eventually moving out of there, though.
Right? So it would just be early. I want to do this.
Be a thing. I want to be with you. Exclusive.
We’ve never talked about it, probably because we don’t want to hear—well, I don’t want to hear if you’re sleeping with someone else.
But I’m not. I haven’t been. Not for a long time. ”
“You’re rambling. And you know I’m not.”
“Okay.” His breath exhaled loudly. “But if we’re going to do this, I need to be out there, even if we have to pay rent somewhere. I can get a job.”
“You’re not getting a job, Matty. Not for only three or four months.
We’ll be back in Vegas soon. And I have more important shit to worry about right now.
” There it was. What I didn’t want to talk about.
But I didn’t want to talk about him coming out to Miami, either.
He was too much of a distraction that I couldn’t afford.
“Like what?”
“They want to change the band name and how we structure our songs.”
“Yeah. Well, your name sucked. Star Fly. Pfth…horrible, makes me think of fruit flies. What do they want to call it?”
“Soul Shred.”
“That’s cool.”
“Whatever. I feel like they’re trying to change us, and I’m not sure that’s what I signed up for.”
“Grumpy, Daddy. What did you think you signed up for?”
“I don’t know. Recording. Touring. Being a better and bigger band.”
“Sounds like that’s what they’re giving you. Or trying to. They know what they’re doing, right? I mean, they may not have managed other bands before, but they know what it takes. Especially Mr. Jinkee. He was a star on his own, right?”
I didn’t want Matty to be right. “But the guys—”
“Will be open-minded and go along with it if you do. You know that. Maybe try to relax. Enjoy the experience and learn from it. The only cost is your time and effort. And hell, Daddy… If I were there, I’d give you a blowie.
Then you could relax for reals.” Oh, his cute little voice came out, making me want to cuddle him, and damn it, he was right.
“Maybe I could.”
“Could what? Go along with the changes? Or…have phone sex?”
Now that made me growly. “Yeah, how about the phone sex. Are you alone?”
“Alone and in bed.”
“Mm…baby. Take your clothes off.”
“Yes, Daddy.” Beyond his breathy words, I could hear rustling and imagined that sleek body being hastily uncovered.
“Stoke yourself for me, baby-boy.”
“Yes, Daddy, yes…”
I unbuttoned my jeans, feeling entirely too constricted, and closed my eyes as I grabbed my cock.
I knew all too well what Matty felt like, tasted like, and I pictured him on his knees, sucking my dick like he had nothing left to live for.
“If I were there right now, I’d feed you every inch of my cock. Would you like that?”
“Gah…yes.” He grunted, but his grunts were quiet sounds, sexy and light.
Mine were heavier. I gave him a few as I jacked my dick. It was over too quickly when Matty made a high-pitched yelp. “Coming, Daddy…” That was enough to throw me over the edge right along with him.
Afterward, we hung up so we could clean up, and I promised to call him the next day.
I stretched out on the bed, relaxed for what felt like the first time all day. Why was I fighting him coming out here so hard? Why was I so afraid to claim him, make it official, and keep him?
Maybe I was too afraid that he’d never stay, and that would break my fucking heart.