Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
ALLIE
I stood on my tiptoes, using what little energy I still had, to reach out and press my lips to the Commander’s.
I got nothing in return.
Gods, no.
Those same lips which had enticed me were now still as a statue.
An unfeeling, unmoving, unbothered statue. His finger still touched the underside of my chin, but it hadn’t been the gentle promise I’d thought it was.
Shame flooded me.
I didn’t know if I wanted to be touched or chosen after weeks of being let down and forsaken, but I got neither.
It has only been the briefest of touches, lasting no longer than a breath, but it had exposed so much of me. Fragility, want, desire .
He’d seen the vulnerabilities in me, but I’d never exposed my softest spots to him willingly.
Until now.
My cheeks burned with embarrassment as my ankles shook, my whole body vibrating. I began to drop my ankles, my traitorous mouth freeing his.
How could I ever look this man in the eyes after this?
I thought he’d considered me fragile before, but now–
My heels hadn’t hit the floor when the Commander’s hand caught me–like he couldn’t let me fall, even now. It snaked to the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair with an unflinching grip, halting my movement.
My eyes popped open. I hadn’t even realized I’d closed them, caught up in a moment I’d never anticipated.
The way he was staring at me made the trembles in my body worse in the best ways. With the same intense desire that was ravaging me right now. Like he couldn’t see anyone or anything else other than me and didn’t want to look away.
As if I mesmerized him as much as he’d mesmerized me.
His gaze sparked as his eyes trailed over my entire face, as if asking his own question.
Time stopped existing as we kept staring at each other, neither moving, neither speaking.
It could have been an hour or less than a breath, but finally, mercifully, his mouth captured mine.
This wasn’t the tentative pressing of my lips against his, almost like a question I was too afraid to ask.
This was raw and powerful and too enticing. He didn’t just kiss, he demanded.
His tongue delved inside my mouth, seeking and pulling sighs out of me I’d never made in my entire life. Under the strength of his body, my own molded itself against him unashamedly.
I didn’t know what his lips were doing to me, but my body was burning. Protectorate powers always seared and heated me up when they burst out of me, but this was a different kind of blaze.
Illogical.
Raw.
Uncontrolled.
From me, not the Commander. Though his hand on the back of my head was gentle, it had a firmness that dripped with control.
It made me melt .
His other hand grasped my hip, with that same steady touch, drawing me even closer to him. I arched into him without wondering why my body wanted to be entwined with his. It just did, as close as possible.
This was nothing like kissing Waden, who’d seemed to want to consume me whole whenever our lips touched. Like he greedily wanted to drink my very essence until he’d sucked me dry.
Kissing the Commander was like losing the air in my lungs and getting his in return. A careful dance he orchestrated and directed, but one focused on me.
The Commander claimed my mouth like a man who’d held too much back and now refused to restrain himself a second more.
I arched my back further, his hand glided to the base of my spine to support me.
A moan raced past my lips, he nipped at my lips, wanting another one. No, demanding .
I turned my face to the side, his lips descended upon my throat, tongue twirling in maddening patterns that set my skin ablaze.
He was so completely attuned to me that every movement, every flutter of my eyelids, every sharp inhale was rewarded with another touch, another lick, another tug on my hair that drove me wild.
All thoughts of Waden vanished, hopefully forever, when the Commander turned me around, hard and fast. The table’s edge would have dug into my lower back, but his hand protected me while his own body kept me upright.
With no hint of hesitation, I hopped onto the table, ignoring the crinkling of papers. My hands coiled around the back of his neck and I drew him into me.
We never broke the seal of our mouths.
As if now that we’d broken the barrier, we couldn’t break apart.
This was insane.
This maddening desire had sprung up inside of me and instead of dimming, each swipe of his tongue against mine made it soar harder and louder.
I didn’t even know his name–his real name–but I wanted it to drip from my lips like a prayer.
My blood rushed to my ears, blocking out everything other than the low rumbles in his throat.
I laid down on the table, exposing more of myself to him than I’d ever imagined. I hadn’t wanted to be revealed in front of him, and here I was, laying myself bare for him to feast on.
His massive frame covered me, arms enveloping me once more as he did terrible, lovely things to my neck. His teeth sunk in a bit harder, eliciting a shameless moan from me.
There I was, moaning and coiling my legs around his middle, while the papers holding his entire kingdom rustled around us, the sound mixing in with our erratic breaths.
Just as his hand travelled up my ribcage, igniting my body even more, a harsh rap on the window shook us out of the lunacy we’d devolved into.
He rose above me, just as out of breath as I was, with some color in his cheeks at last. For the first time, he looked as off guard as I’d been feeling. I didn’t even want to think how I looked like right now.
Debauched, probably.
Deliciously, deliriously debauched.
But the weight of that kiss settled down upon us hard and fast. Neither moved, but as each drew a long, calming breath, a chasm ruptured between us.
We were still tangled together, but the spell had cracked.
What had we done?
Whatever tentative truce had settled between us had been obliterated in one moment. And we had to face each other for the rest of our lives, whether we wanted to or not.
Another rap on the window finally drew our attention away from each other.
Acutely aware that the Commander’s body was still covering mine, I squinted and saw that same raven scratching the window with his large talons.
I frowned.
The Commander smirked.
“What is wrong with that bird?” Gods, when had my voice gotten so raspy? “He keeps following me.”
“That is Sylvester. He promised to keep an eye on you and he keeps all his promises.” His gaze moved slowly back to me. “Just like his master.”
The realization swooped down upon me faster than Sylvester had on Orion’s miserable head.
It hadn’t been fate. It had been surveillance.
My entire body, which had been so pliable and inviting only moments before, tensed underneath the Commander.
He noticed the shift and stood up instantly, watching me with a weary, guarded expression.
“That’s how you spied on me,” I mumbled.
The sky sees all , he’d said.
Of course it had been the weird raven I’d argued with. The one who had also protected me.
It seemed it was a pattern for me in this fortress, whether with the Commander or his companion.
But I’d kissed the Commander, my lips still puffy and tender.
I was still lying down on the table, legs dangling over the edge, while he towered over me.
Good gods, how had I let myself get here?
I scrambled down from the table, yanking off the parchments which had wanted to follow me. I slapped them on the table and flattened them quickly, as if trying to erase all evidence this had ever happened. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to tame it after he’d uncaged it.
“You were a stranger and an enemy in my city,” the Commander said, low and rumbled. I took a small satisfaction in the fact that his lips were also reddened. I’d left my mark on him, too. “I had to know where you were–”
“I get it.” I smiled too suddenly, too wide, my face heating up as the kiss whirled in my mind. “I would have done the same thing.”
“Sylvester only reports to me.”
“Like any good spy.” A stilted laugh escaped me.
The Commander sighed.
“This all sounds good. Well, not good, but…” I gestured wildly at the table and the contracts, as if trying to grasp words out of thin air. “Acceptable. Can’t fight the Clan Council, can we?”
“Huntress–”
“I have to go.” I ran a hand through my hair once more, unsure of what to do or what to say.
So I raced out of the room before I embarrassed myself further–and he let me.
Only when I’d rushed up the stairs, burst into my room, closed the door behind me, and leaned my back against it did I allow myself to hide my face in my hands, as if that could magically make me vanish from what had just happened.
But reality didn’t work that way.
Because the truth was I’d kissed my enemy and now I had to live with that.