Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
Rhett
Monday mornings were our weekly training days. Matthew and Black were insistent that to stay sharp, we needed to train as often as possible, so whenever we weren't on an assignment, we were training at one of Black's off-the-grid locations.
I was crawling through the mud when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Normally I wouldn't even consider acknowledging it, but I had a feeling I knew who it was, and I had already blown her off enough yesterday that I owed her an explanation.
"Hold up," I told Matthew who was partnered with me for this specific drill.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I hit the accept button before it could ring through.
"He lives." Elle's voice hit me square in the chest as did her face as it filled my small screen. Today her normally wild red hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail and just the lightest bit of makeup made her green eyes pop even more.
"Uh, is this a bad time?" she asked as I chuckled at her first statement.
"Nope, you're good. I was just running through a training exercise." It was absolutely a bad time, but considering Matthew was too busy laughing next to me at her original statement, I figured he didn't mind.
"Hence the dirty face I guess." She sounded so cute when she was unsure of herself. It was nice, for once, to not be the only one playing defense in our conversations. Most of the time, Elle had me so tongue-tied and my stomach in knots that I didn't know what to say.
"Yup. Sorry I didn't text you back this morning. We usually start our day at oh four hundred when we train."
I watched Elle's throat bob and the horror on her face at my declaration. "You start at four a.m.? Why on earth would you do such a thing?"
Matthew and I both chuckled, but I was the one to answer. "Most of my work is done under the cover of darkness."
I didn't have to see my team leader to know he was shocked by my answer. Before meeting Elle, I never talked about what I did for a living, and even though I wasn't giving her much, it was still more than I ever gave anyone else.
"I can let you go. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing. How your shoulder was feeling?"
I had forgotten all about the injury as we were training, but now that she mentioned it, I could feel how sore it was, so I rotated it a bit. "It's good. Healing as it should."
"Should you be crawling around on it like that?"
Her concern was evident and took my breath away. I wasn't used to someone caring that much about me outside of my teammates. And they would tell me to suck it up; that the injury wasn't that bad, just as I would do to them.
"Are you offering an alternative?" Matthew shoved his face next to mine and asked Elle.
"Ummm." Elle's cheeks got the cutest shade of pink on them.
I pushed Matthew's head out of the picture as he laughed at me. "Don't mind him. That's my team leader, Matthew."
"Nice to meet you, Matthew." Clearly someone raised her right because her manners immediately had her greeting him.
Matthew, on the other hand, showed that he was just a jerk when he shoved his face back against mine. "I would say likewise, but I didn't get the pleasure of learning your name."
I shook my head. "And you won't either. Now mind your business." I rolled away causing me to grimace as I tweaked my shoulder.
"Are you sure you should be out there?" Nothing got by Elle, it would appear.
"Yes, it's fine. The best medicine is to keep going." That was a motto I lived by. "How's your morning going?"
"Truthfully I've been a bit distracted. This new friend of mine isn't very good about texting back, and when he does, it's short answers."
Guilt settled in my stomach, but I pushed it away and joked instead, "He sounds like a jerk."
"Nah. Just really busy, it would seem."
Elle was definitely too good for me, and if I was smart, I would push her away so she wasn't subjected to my dysfunction. Instead I found myself being pulled into her orbit every time I saw her face.
"No one should ever be too busy for you. You deserve more than that." The words felt like razor blades in my throat, and I nearly choked to get them out.
Her face softened. "I think he's still figuring out this whole friendship thing, so I'll give him slack for the time being."
Yup! Definitely too good for me, and I was going to be the selfish bastard who took everything she was willing to give and would probably suck her dry in the meantime.
"You would be correct," I answered honestly. She deserved that much at least.
Elle gifted me with a smile. "I should probably get back to work. I have a lot to get ready for my next lesson."
"Okay. I'll call you later tonight?" I asked.
"I'd like that."
We said our goodbyes before I hung up the phone. Then before I could think better of it, I opened up our text thread and sent her a quick message.
RHETT
Good morning, beautiful. I hope you have a great day at work.
After I put my phone away, I looked up and saw Matthew smirking at me. "What?"
I knew whatever he was going to say I wasn't going to like just based on the grin that took over his face.
"She's hot. No wonder you stopped to take her call."
"Shut up." I pushed him. "She's just a friend."
"Why?" Matthew looked horrified.
"Why what?"
"Why just friends? And who was the idiot that suggested that?" I immediately got defensive for Elle's sake even though neither of us had ever made such a deal.
"Don't talk about her like that, and neither of us suggested it. It's just how it is." I couldn't even remember who mentioned friends first, but it kinda just happened, and I was in no position to correct it.
"You mean you're refusing to be anything more," Matthew correctly surmised.
"You know damn well in our line of work it's hard enough, and let's not even talk about my fucked-up shit. Do you really think I'm boyfriend material for anyone?
"Don't answer that," I said before Matthew could say anything.
Of course that didn't stop him.
"Don't tell me what to do," he chided me. "And look at Graham. He makes it work, so why the hell can't you."
Graham was an idiot, but I didn't say that.
"He hasn't seen or done half the shit I have, so don't even compare me to him."
"That's bullshit, Rhett. What we were forced to do while captured doesn't reflect the men that we are. I was right there with you. Had to torture and kill the same innocent people. Does that mean I don't deserve to find someone one day?"
I jerked back at the question because I always thought Matthew and I were on the same page when it came to relationships and our future. "You really want to bring someone into the fucked-up life?"
"What's so fucked up about it?" Matthew challenged.
"We kill without remorse," I reminded him. "We take a life like it means nothing."
"No." Matthew shook his head. "We protect and rescue people. Those we kill deserve it because they are trying to hurt innocent people. We are making up for all the bad shit we were forced to do."
"You really believe that?" I asked.
"You're telling me you don't?"
No, I didn't. Even after all these years, I still couldn't forgive myself for the things I had to do in order to survive and to protect those on my team.