Chapter 17
Icried every night. Right up until the day arrived where I would become Dorian’s wife, and my saviour was nowhere to be seen. Now I stood, dressed in a blush pink dress with ivory lace trim. Beneath it was an endless amount of petticoats. There was enough to make me fall over with a single step. To finish off the look, I wore the longest veil I think Mother could possibly find.
Kathlyn beamed at me in the mirror as she did the final touches of my hair by sliding in diamond encrusted pins and fixing a few strands of loose hair. I could feel my eyes start to well up with tears. Despite the fact that my tears were anything but happy, they were made out to be happy tears. Of course, no bride should be unhappy on their wedding day.
The entire kingdom was buzzing with happiness and lively music. A festival of love was pronounced—even if the entire court knew this would be loveless marriage. I began to deeply hate my parents, all while begging the Goddess for Norok to wake from his slumber and save me.
Save me from this fate I had been sealed in.
“Oh, your highness, you look as beautiful as a portrait. Your wedding painting will be hung in the halls for centuries to come.”
I wanted to slap Kathlyn across the face for saying such a thing. She had wiped away my tears when she arrived each morning and saw the fresh cuts on my arms from where I scratched myself out of frustration. We had to add gloves to my dress just to cover them up.
But I wanted them to see. I wanted everyone to see how their princess felt about what she was being forced to do.
“Kathlyn, I wish to be alone before I am due downstairs please.”
“I’m sorry, your highness, but her majesty insisted I stay with you.”
“Then I will go to the balcony—alone—for some fresh air.”
She nodded with an uncomfortable smile, busying herself by tidying up areas of my room. I stepped out onto the balcony and wondered if this would still be my bedroom when the day ended. I might be forced to sleep within the wing Dorian resided in. Talia would be free to claim this place as her own.
She hadn’t visited me since the day of the dress fitting. I knew she was just avoiding my wrath. I missed my sister. It was only a week or so ago she was proclaiming how much she needed me. Seven whole days since her big speech about how I was her sister and we had to stick together. Only now, when I needed her most—needed her support—she disappeared.
It just reminded me of how much of a child she still was. She didn’t need the notions of marriage and the weight it bore. She was just interested in pretty gowns, gossiping with the ladies of the court, and lusting over boys she may never have.
I tried to enjoy the feel of the spring breeze as it brushed against my exposed skin. The dress cut low across my shoulders revealing more skin than I wanted. I hated it. I wished to have every inch of myself covered. That way Dorian would have nothing to look at. However, Maria insisted it would make the cut of the dress too uptight. A princess of my age needed something more ‘freeing’.
This was a marriage by name only.
My gut told me that there was something else at play here.
“You look like something that belongs on a cake.”
The moment his voice entered my mind, I shook my head to rid myself of it. A single tear escaped from my eye. I quickly wiped it away, turning my face away from him. He didn’t deserve to see my tears, let alone my acknowledgement.
“I’m sorry, my princess, I was needed elsewhere. This was the only time I was able to escape.”
I could feel his body next to mine as I directed my attention over the gardens. I kept my eyes trained on the tree line, towards my hidden escape. I remembered leaving Kathlyn in my room. Panic surged through me at the thought of her discovering the man who stood next to me. I quickly turned by, looking into my room to find her making my bed.
“She can’t see me. Only you can for now,” he assured me before adding in a mocking tone, “But honestly, tell me this isn’t what you were planning to wear for your wedding?”
He looked at me with disgust and a little laughter hidden in his eyes. Despite recognising that his eyes gave away his teasing nature, I involuntarily slapped him across the face. Heat coloured my chest, drawing his stare down. I watched as shadows darkened his eyes as I stepped towards him.
“Do you think for one second I want this wedding?” I demanded coldly, lifting my finger and poking him in the chest. “I asked you to come to me. I asked you to take me away. You”—another poke—“didn’t show up.”—I poke him again—“You didn’t stick to your word.”
Each word that left my mouth was harsher than the one before. He rolled his eyes at my dramatics. Seeming to be unbothered by me slapping him, he leaned his arms on the balcony in front of him. I stared at his profile, growing angrier over his lack of response.
“I am here now, aren’t I?” he retorted.
“It’s a little too late now,” I snapped back.
“Oh?” He pushes away from the balcony, closing the distance between us. “Are you already married? Did I miss the ‘I do’s’ and you committing yourself to one man for the rest of your life? Oh, darn!”
Despite his sarcastic tone, he glared down at me. The shadows in his eyes didn’t stop me from wanting to punch him. I wasn’t used to having these angry outbursts that he clearly drew out of me. The things he made me feel were completely unknown to me..
“Tell me your name,” I demanded. “Tell me your name and I will say the words.”
He sighed and turned towards the balcony again, refusing to look at me. Wherever his thoughts wandered off to, it was somewhere unknown to me. I wondered if I was going to hate his confession or if I would relish in it.
I wanted rescuing—he knew that—except I would not beg for it.
Princesses didn’t beg.
“If I tell you, truthfully, you may turn away from me.”
I pondered for a moment or two, wondering if I would turn away. I was in the most desperate time of need. I wanted out of this world more than anyone. He was my only option. I could always escape on horseback. Flee the kingdom and this life forever. Unfortunately, that wasn’t something that would happen any time soon. If he turned out to be someone I hated, I would just have to learn to live with that.
Better him than Dorian. I thought before admitting quietly, “I’m not afraid.”
“You need never be afraid of me.” His whispered words made my heart pound harder in my chest.
I glanced back into my room, my eyes landing on Kathlyn as she left the room. My brows knit together at the sight of her treating back. Earlier she refused to leave me. Mother had forbade it.
“I asked her to leave,” he explained quietly, “Simple magic, she will be back shortly.”
I turned my face towards him again. I said I wouldn’t beg, but I can’t stop the words from leaving my lips. “Please, tell me.”
“Princess,” he said, placing a hand on my cheek.
My eyes tracked as he bit his bottom lip. It was almost as if he was trying to hold back his words. I patiently waited, holding my breath and eager to know the truth.
“You once knew me as Nicholas. But now, I fear you know me by another name.”
I waited for the pieces to pull together. I tried to think deep within my mind of a man—a boy—someone I couldn’t quite see. Yet, the name Nicholas sparked something within my mind and my heart. Though I somehow knew the name, I couldn”t seem to find the face to pair it with. I searched for those familiar blue eyes. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, I knew what the answer to my next question would be.
“And who do I know you as now?”
Right before my eyes, the illusion around his features disappeared. There standing in front of me was Lord Cole. I dropped my hands from his.
“Lord Cole Reidin,” I breathed, tears welling up in my eyes.
My stomach turned to knots. He’d left me. He left knowing that he was my option. The one Father wanted me to originally marry, and he still left.
He could have apologised.
Perhaps there was still time? Maybe if he came with me now to Father’s chambers—without Mother seeing—he could apologise. Then I could ask to not marry Dorian, but Cole instead. Yes, that would work. It would have to.
“That won’t work, I’m afraid.” He ripped the thoughts right from my mind as he answered my next question.
Bile crept up within my stomach along with my wrath. Rage deep within me was ready to burst out.
He stepped back and tucked his hands into the pockets of his trousers. Waiting for my reaction as I stared back at him. His two images merged into one.
The whole life he told me about played in my mind. How his father sent him here to attend the festival. The number of women he was known to lay with. The man I met in the forest. The one who saved me from dark creatures. The same one who slow-danced with me. The one who made me feel things no other person ever has.
“You told me you were leaving! You’ve lied to me this entire time,” I shouted, shaking with anger.
I began to pace the balcony as my mind raced with every encounter. Every moment I’d spent with him both as Cole and him as my shadow man.
“Are you real?” I demanded.
“Just as real as you and everyone else in this place.”
His sarcasm was starting to get on my nerves. As I shot him a look and found him smirking at me, I began pulling out the stupid diamond sliders in my hair and unpin my curls. I needed something to do with my hands so that I would not strangle him. I hated having my hair up anyways.
“Who are you? Cole? Nicholas? Which is it?” I demanded, stopping in front of him.
“I am Nicholas. Someone you’ve known for a very, very long time. When I came across you that day in the woods, I’d only recently discovered my powers. I couldn’t remove the shadows very well. You weren’t able to see my face back then. But after your uncle—I stuck by you. We became close friends.”
He held his hands up in defence and I wanted to ram one of my hair pins in his eye. Perhaps even in whatever fleshy part I could find. But I stopped, counting to five in my head to try and calm myself. I had wanted to hear his name. Now I wanted to know his story, and if I made him bleed out, I wouldn’t get it.
“Why did you leave me as Lord Cole then? Did you know my father was going to give you my hand.”
“Yes. I did know. But things are complicated,” he said softly.
I huffed, rolling my eyes at him and resuming my pacing. A weight pressed down on my shoulders with each word he spoke.
“You left me. After promising me you would save me,” I told him, irritation in my tone.
“I am here now. And I will do everything I can to help you, you only have to ask it of me.”
“Norok,” I said, stopping in front of Cole again. “He doesn’t deserve what’s happened to him. I know my brother—he’d rather have died than live the life he’s now stuck living,” I uttered, choking up as the words spouted from my mouth.
Steadying myself, I asked,“Can you fix him? I know you have powers. I’ve seen them.” I desperately wondered if my brother would ever be right again. “I will do anything.”
His eyes darkened and a devilish smile ran across his face. I wondered what he was planning. Did I say the right words? I had a feeling I was walking into something else.
“I will fix him, on the deal that if you are to come with me, to my lands. You are to marry me.”
It felt as if the world swallowed me right there on the balcony as a rush of cold ran over me. If I were to accept, I would be walking out of one marriage and into another when all I really craved was freedom.
A life of my own, to do with what I wished. To follow orders from no one. . Even if originally I had wanted to say yes and marry Lord Cole, this Fae wasn’t him. I didn’t really know who this was. The confusion of it all made my head hurt.
However, if I said yes, he would fix Norok. He would wake up healed and I would no longer be needed as heir. I would go back to being the spare. Unimportant and unnoticed.
“If I say yes, where are your lands?”
“Not far. But far enough for you to feel that escape I know you have been craving since the day you were born.”
I stood there for another moment, taking it all in, wondering if I could really leave my entire family behind. My sister? My brother? Could I go with someone I barely knew? I’d always craved adventure and here it was—staring me right in the face. A Fae dipped in shadows and mystery.
I was not entirely sure this was real. Perhaps I had been cursed or walked upon a spell that I had yet to wake from. Maybe I was the one with a broken body and Norok was the one making desperate deals to save me.
“Will I still be allowed that freedom and escape if I go with you?” I asked.
“You will have everything you have ever asked for and more. All I ask is that you let me rule you, devour you in every way possible and I will be your ever devoted servant.”
I didn’t have much time to think about my answer. I heard my mother shouting from nearby. And I wasn’t too sure on who else was shouting from my bedroom. I had run out of time, and it was now or never.
“I accept. But heal my brother first, that is my deal.”
“You must say the words. You must ask me to save you, to take you away. Otherwise it won’t work.”
“ORNELLA?!” Mother’s voice shouted just as I saw the shadow of her body heading towards the balcony doors and my heart began to race.
Swallowing down my fear, I said, “I ask of you—I beg you—save me and take me away. Take me away from this place and I will be yours.”
That same devilish smile I saw earlier returned, widening more as Mother stepped out of the doors. Her gasp echoed through the air. Suddenly his lips were on mine and a cold embrace wrapped around me. His shadows circled me along with his arms, pulling me close to his chest.
In the distance I could hear Mother’s scream. She was screaming out in terror.My name being shouted at the top of her lungs. I had no idea where we were going. All I felt was the wind against my skin. My stomach twisted into knots and my head began to spin.
And then the world went dark.