Chapter 17 #3
“I’ll never do that. You knew from the start the kind of guy I was.” He stopped just a few inches from me and looked probingly into my face.
“You need to stop playing with me,” I told him firmly, and his forehead wrinkled in confusion. I didn’t know how else one could possibly interpret our situation, however.
“Do you seriously think I’m playing with you?
” he asked, puzzled, and I just nodded in conviction.
“Your father thinks I’m a criminal, a delinquent, or worse, some psychopath.
I haven’t spoken to him since he found out about us, and now I’m standing here with the knowledge that he may very well kill me if he finds out I’m seeing you, and you think I’m playing a game with you?
To what end?” He stood rigid and gave me a stormy look, annoyed by my question.
“I don’t know!” I burst out. “You won’t open up to me, and I can’t figure you out!” I flung my arms wide in exasperation, and he grinned. I didn’t see anything particularly funny in the situation, but Neil obviously did.
“I’m not playing with you. Whatever I’m doing with you is so real that it’s got me completely turned around…
” He cupped my face in his hands, and I sucked in a breath.
It was incredible how one burning touch was enough to completely shake me.
Neil pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes, maybe trying to soothe whatever was torturing him deep inside.
But I shook my head and pulled his hands away from me.
I knew how screwed up he was; I also knew that I should try to understand him.
But understanding didn’t mean allowing him to walk all over me whenever he felt like it.
“I guess I can’t forgive every act of disrespect. Everyone has a limit, Neil,” I explained apologetically. As I stared into his golden eyes, I was surprised to see shame there, but he had brought this on himself.
“What are you talking about?” He smiled, underestimating me like he always did.
“Shut up and kiss me.” He leaned in with clear intention, and when I felt his soft, warm lips against mine, I went rigid.
He didn’t kiss me in his usual headlong way but limited himself to mostly chaste contact.
Even that I didn’t want to encourage, however, so I rested my hands against his hips and pushed him away from me.
“This isn’t the way to make things up to me,” I told him seriously, and he just looked at me. He frowned at first, gradually growing more troubled by my refusal.
“Are we going to keep having this argument much longer?” he volleyed back.
“Yeah, probably until you figure out just how shitty your behavior has been.” I stepped back, and Neil looked at me, surprised by my cantankerous attitude.
“I’m not going to apologize,” he clarified, still totally certain he’d done nothing wrong.
“I wouldn’t know what to do with it if you did,” I retorted, just to get another hit in. I knew how disciplined he was and how indifferent to my words he often seemed, but I needed to fight back in some way.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re here? I asked once already, but as usual, you ignored me.” I folded my arms over my chest and waited for an answer—a real one this time.
Neil backed up a little bit, looking like he finally realized he shouldn’t mouth off to me just then.
“I just wanted to see you,” he answered shortly.
“For any reason in particular?” I insisted skeptically, and a small, enigmatic smile appeared on his face, capturing my attention. So I cleared my throat and did my best to pretend that I was immune to him.
“Do I need a particular reason to see you?” He shrugged, retreating into his cocky pose.
“Well, you’ve clearly gone to some trouble to visit me all the way out here in Detroit, and I’m assuming you had some justification for doing that, right?” I asked, and Neil couldn’t miss the bitter sarcasm in my voice.
“I’m getting really close to losing my cool, you know,” he warned, his body tensing.
“Oh, mine’s been lost for a while. Imagine how I feel,” I answered immediately. Suddenly, he smiled, and then he burst into laughter, even reaching out to touch my face.
What the hell had gotten into him?
“You really are adorable when you get pissed off, Tigress,” he said between gales of laughter while I looked seriously at him so he understood I wasn’t going to reciprocate any of this irritating levity.
“Will I still be adorable when I’m booting your ass out of my house?” I cocked my head to one side, pretending to be genuinely curious about his answer. Neil just kept laughing, totally unbothered.
“That sounds familiar. Feels like I’ve heard it somewhere before.” He smirked at me, and I gave him a fake smile.
“You sure have. This asshole in a pool house in New York said it to me,” I told him.
“An asshole who nevertheless let you sleep with him,” he said, his voice turning seductive as he gave me a sly wink.
“Am I supposed to feel honored?” I had actually appreciated that act of trust from him, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. He didn’t deserve to know.
“You should feel lucky. It’s a privilege I don’t grant to anyone else,” he answered, his tone so sincere that I was struck dumb. I had guessed that, of course, but hearing him say it out loud was unexpected.
“I’d like to kiss you now, by the way,” he added, breaking the silence. I sucked in a breath at the blunt statement and took a step back from him.
“And I don’t want you to,” I lied. I couldn’t allow him to use me and then toss me aside whenever he wanted. I had my pride, after all, and understanding his problems or where his attitude came from didn’t mean losing myself completely.
“Liar.” He advanced in a predatory way, ready to impose himself on me the way he loved to.
He deftly slid a hand into my hair, using it to pull my head to him while the other encircled my waist. He tilted his head and brushed my lips, staring into my eyes.
He bit my lower lip and tugged on it as he looked fixedly at me with those golden eyes.
Those eyes, where I saw things that were too remote, too impossible.
And it was in that moment that I decided: Even if Neil didn’t love me, I was still going to give him everything I could because love did not demand reciprocity.
“Do I have to teach you everything, Babygirl?” he murmured, and I examined his long eyelashes, unable to utter a single word.
“I don’t ask for kisses. Never.” He licked the edges of my mouth, and shivers of desire made my entire body tremble.
My most intimate place pulsed, and it got difficult to breathe.
I tried to pull back, but Neil insinuated a knee between my thighs, and I jumped.
Gasping for breath, I clutched his hips as he began to move his leg slowly, grinding it against my clitoris.
I shut my eyes and tried not to moan, fighting the almost overwhelming desire to see him naked.
Then, Neil stopped abruptly, and I looked at him in shock.
All at once, I was relieved that he hadn’t gone further.
I was still mad, and I also knew that I wouldn’t have been able to resist him.
“Not today, Babygirl,” he said in a sensual whisper and gave me that shit-eating grin. Then he backed up a few steps, leaving me bewildered.
“I can’t give in. If I did, I’d wreck you, and I don’t think you could handle it.
” He looked thoughtfully at me, and once again, I didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me.
Neil could never just be straightforward; he always demanded, I guess, everything.
“So you can rest easy for the moment, Tigress,” he concluded teasingly.
He looked lazily down at my breasts, inhaled shakily, and ruffled his hair in his anxious way.
Once again, it was clear to me that he was holding himself back from jumping me the way he wanted to do, and for once, I was grateful.
I wanted to ask him what was making him hold back because I knew that, in addition to being beautiful, my Disaster was also deeply perverse and shameless.
For a moment, my insecurities rose up, and I worried that I wasn’t attractive to him, especially given the way I was dressed.
But then I looked down at his pants and saw that he was visibly aroused, so I could safely put aside the idea that he wasn’t physically attracted to me anymore.
“Okay,” I sighed, looking down at my fluffy slippers. The same ones that Neil then also started staring at. My cheeks erupted, and I braced myself for an insult or something downright offensive, and…
“Fuck, those are somehow worse than the pajamas,” he grumbled, and my eyes widened with embarrassment.
“Idiot!” I shot back, and Neil just gave another belly laugh.
“Okay, well now as punishment you have to go grocery shopping with me. You can carry my bags so that your trip here has at least one purpose,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, and he immediately turned serious again, like I’d told him the end of the world was imminent.
To be perfectly honest, I still had no desire to go out for groceries, but as soon as I saw his alarmed face, I knew I had to do it.
“No, no, wait. What? Shopping? Together? That’s couples shit.” He grimaced and shook his head. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down his nose at me while I tried not to be distracted by the way his muscles twitched with every movement.
“Do you know how often people go shopping together just to help out a friend? They’re mature, considerate, and—”
“And I’m not like them,” he said, interrupting with his usual arrogance. He lowered his head to make sure I saw how serious he was.
“If you go with me…I’ll give you a reward when we come back.
” I said archly. I moved closer to him and traced down his chest with my index finger, moving slowly to his abs.
I looked up at him through my eyelashes, but I must not have been very convincing because he bit his lip to hide an amused smile.