Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
T he windshield wipers swiped lazily across the glass, brushing away the light drizzle that had started while she was inside the pharmacy. Madison drummed her fingers against the steering wheel and willed the long line of traffic in front of her to move. When she’d called the pediatrician, she’d expected to set up an appointment, but the doctor had suggested she start the nebulizer treatments right away.
Jax had been fussy this morning, a little extra clingy. She should have recognized that as a sign something was wrong. A car slammed on their brakes, and she cursed.
On top of her worries for Jax, Madison couldn’t stop thinking about the phone interview she and Cami had conducted earlier.
Cary Weaver. The victim’s ex-girlfriend.
The woman had been understandably defensive. Her voice had wavered with barely contained frustration as she spoke about her brother, Clint.
“He told me it was an accident.”
The line wouldn’t leave Madison’s head.
“He told me.” Not just the declarative, “It was an accident.”
Did that mean part of Cary’s subconscious didn’t believe her brother?
Cary insisted that Clint wasn’t a violent monster, “…the way Jesse’s family is making my brother out to be. It’s awful, the way everyone is talking about Clint, just because he was the first one there. All he’s ever done is try to be a supportive brother.”
Madison clenched the steering wheel as more of the woman’s words came back to her.
“Jesse was making up stuff about me, saying I threatened to take our baby away. That was never true. Jesse didn’t care about our daughter, he only cared about hurting me. He was always smoking those disgusting unfiltered cigarettes in the house with her, even though I told him the doctor said it was bad.”
Then Cary swung back to defend her brother again.
“As protective as Clint is, he wouldn’t have killed him. Besides, it had to be an accident, right? The police investigated. This is only a big deal because Jesse’s sister wants to be famous on social media.”
Red flags were shooting up in Madison’s mind.
“I know there are questions,” Cary had admitted, her voice growing quieter. “The autopsy showed he had a head wound. But we’ll never know, right? Maybe he was drunk and fell. Elijah said it could have been a lit cigarette that started the fire with all the gas buildup. Maybe the smoke got to him. Unless you were there, you’d never really know.”
The words clung to Madison, burrowing deep beneath her skin.
‘Unless you were there, you’d never really know.’
Wasn’t that the same thing she had been telling herself about Opal’s death for almost a year? There were no witnesses at the rest stop, so there was a very good chance Madison would never know the truth. There would always be a question mark over Opal’s death.
Opal had left Jax with Madison the day before.
Maybe Opal tried to blackmail the Senator? Felix? And it went wrong, and unable to face it, unable to deal with the fallout, Opal relapsed. Could she have misjudged her tolerance after being sober for so long? Or had Felix done something?
Madison swallowed hard. She didn’t have time for this.
Parking close to the front door, she ran through the spring rain and dropped her bag by the door before heading straight for Jax’s room.
It was empty.
Spinning on her heel, she hurried to check their bedroom.
Don’t panic, she told herself. They are here somewhere. If anything had happened, Alex would have called her.
At the base of the stairs, she turned toward the living room. As she got closer, she heard a low deep voice… singing?
Madison's jaw hit the ground.
Swaying slowly back and forth with a hand securing her sleeping son to his chest was a shirtless Alex.
Wow! Just wow.
I think my ovaries just exploded.
Madison knew she was gaping like a lust-crazed idiot, but she couldn’t help it. The sight of a gorgeous half-naked, tattooed man caring for her sick baby was apparently how she was going to die.
“I can’t stop.” Alex’s eyes were wide. “If I stop, he screams.”
She grimaced. “Sorry.”
“I think his fever is gone,” he said quietly. “He’s just really fuc—pissed off.”
“I’ll take him.” Madison reached out, but Alex angled his body away, blocking her.
“I’m serious, Madison. He screams . I’ve never heard men being tort—” He winced and then censored himself again. “I’ve never heard grown men in pain yell that loud. I don’t think I can take it.”
Madison pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. What he was saying wasn’t funny, but seeing the mild terror in his eyes was.
“What happened to your shirt? Not that I’m objecting. This…” She waved a hand up and down, encompassing Alex and Jax. “Is simultaneously the sweetest and sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Sexy, huh? I’m going to remind you of that later.” Then he made a face. “My shirt is in the kitchen. Jax wasn’t really in the mood to take his medicine.”
“He spit it all over you, didn’t he?”
“Jax thought it was hilarious.”
Madison covered her face. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine, Angel. Once I explained I didn’t think it was funny, he took his medicine.”
She quirked a brow, not even trying to hide her skepticism.
“Maybe it took a few tries,” he huffed.
“How many?” Madison struggled to keep a straight face.
“Five,” he muttered under his breath, and then hurried to say. “But I’ve sent Liev for more, so you’ll have enough for his next dose.”
“Speaking of doses, I need to give him a breathing treatment.”
“For that whistling sound?”
Her stomach sank. “He’s already wheezing?” That’s not good. “I was able to get an appointment with his pediatrician for tomorrow morning, but she said there’s a nasty flu going around.”
Leaving Jax with Alex, Madison retrieved the small machine and measured out his medicine before reaching for Jax again. Fortunately, Jax was happier to see her than he was angry at his change of venue, and barely fussed when she attached the mask over his nose and mouth and sat with him in her lap while the nebulizer machine hummed next to her.
Alex stood hovering over them for a moment. “Can I get you a glass of wine or anything?” He stared intently at the device Jax wore.
“I’m good. I know the mask makes it look scary.” She gave him a smile. “Really, it’s just a quicker method of getting the medicine to his lungs. He’s used to it. And this time, they were able to flavor the medicine. Hopefully, it will keep him from going into a full-blown infection.”
Alex pursed his lips and continued to watch them for a minute before saying. “I have to go out of town for a few days.”
“Okay.”
She was not disappointed.
“I leave early tomorrow. It will only be two nights, three at the most.”
Alex was still frowning deeply and she suddenly understood.
“I’m used to doing this on my own. It’s okay.”
Alex’s mouth thinned, but he didn’t say anything. Giving her one last glance, he turned and left the room.
By the time she was convinced Jax was out for good, Madison was exhausted. He’d eaten half a grilled cheese, and his fever hadn’t returned before it was time for his next nebulizer treatment. She was hoping he’d be able to get a few hours of rest before his temperature spiked again.
When Madison came back downstairs, the house was quiet, and she assumed Alex had gone to bed. She was still too keyed up despite her fatigue for sleep. Now that Jax was taken care of for the moment, she was back to worrying about Opal.
She wished she had someone she could talk to about her doubts. To help her figure out if she was losing her mind, or if she was right to suspect there was something more to her sister’s death.
Cami was miserable enough right now, and Madison didn’t want to add to her stress. And she worried that if she told Alex that Felix had threatened her, he would ignore his brother’s command not to touch him.
She huffed a humorless laugh when she realized the route her brain had taken. Madison didn’t doubt for one second that if she told Alex that Felix had grabbed her, Alex would hurt him. Her thinking had apparently become so warped she didn’t care about the prospect of violence, she only cared that Alex could get in trouble for it.
Lost in her thoughts, she jumped when she saw Alex sitting on the sofa, his fingers tapping lazily on the glass he held with one hand, while staring blankly at the wall.
She flopped back on the opposite side. “He’s asleep.”
Alex’s gaze refocused on her. “You already had that machine here. Does he need it a lot?”
“More than I’d like. His doctors think he’ll grow out of it eventually, but he catches so many colds it’s hard for his lungs to get a break in between so that they can get stronger.”
Deep furrows formed between his eyes. “Is it normal to be sick that much?”
“He’s in daycare, and his immune system has never been great.” Madison blew out a breath. “Little germ monkeys running around in a petri dish. I don’t think it’s a problem for most kids. Jax’s system is just a little more sensitive than most.”
“He would get better faster if he didn’t go to daycare?”
She shrugged. “His pediatrician recommended finding a smaller facility, but it wasn’t a realistic option for me.”
“He should have a nanny. Then he wouldn’t be exposed to extra germs, and he’d have all of one person’s attention.”
Madison leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I’ll think about it when I win the lottery.”
The room was silent for several beats, and then she heard an exasperated, “Angel.”
Madison’s eyes flew open. “Seriously?”
He lifted an eyebrow at her. “Can you think of something better to spend money on than our son?”
Her heart galloped.
Did he just say, ‘our son? ’
The way he was looking at her, Madison could tell he was waiting to hear how she’d react to those words. “I’ll…” She had to clear her throat over the sudden thickness. “I’ll call some agencies tomorrow.”
“Good.” He gave a nod of satisfaction. “Now that problem is solved, why don’t you tell me what’s been bothering you the last few days?”
“Nothing’s bothering me.”
Alex’s jaw flexed. “Don’t lie to me. We agreed on honesty.”
Madison blew out a slow breath. She didn’t want to tell him what happened with Felix, so she was honest about something else.
“Sometimes, it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water. I wonder if I’m even doing any of this right.”
“Any of what?”
“Raising Jax mostly,” she admitted. “I don’t want to give up my job, but I worry I spend too much of my energy on it when I should focus more on him.”
Alex reclined against the couch, studying her. “There are all kinds of moms out there. I don’t think there is a ‘right’ way. The way Jax looks at you…” He shook his head. “He lights up like you are the absolute dead center of his universe. That’s the only evidence I need.”
Madison absorbed his words, and the silence stretched before she asked the question that had been gnawing at her. “Where is your mother? You haven’t really mentioned her.”
Alex lifted the glass to his lips. “She lives in Switzerland. Left not long after my father died. There was nothing here for her anymore.”
“When was the last time you spoke to her?”
“Months ago. We don’t communicate regularly.” He lifted a shoulder as if to say what he’d revealed didn’t affect him. “We were never close. So, believe me when I say that you are an excellent mother.”
He took another sip of his drink and eyed her warily. “Don’t look at me like that. She cared about me in her own way, I’m sure. But my value to her was more about keeping my father’s attention than me. Anatoly Kovalyov was the love of her life.” His mouth curled, and something hard glinted in his eyes. “She was incapable of understanding that she was one of many… a convenience. It worked out for me because Anatoly liked that she adored him.”
Madison went still.
It clicked then—why he was the way he was.
“She used to tell him she loved him over and over and over. She said it like it would suddenly make him leave his wife and family to be with her. I could hear them through the walls. Her tears. The begging. Always the ‘I love you.’ I’m not sure she even realized how much of a threat she made those words sound.”
A shiver ran down Madison’s spine.
“I’ve never said the words, and they’ve never been said to me.”
Alex heard his mother pour them on a man who used her, but never to the child who actually needed to hear them.
A dull pang settled behind her ribs at the realization that she would never hear those words from Alex. But as the pieces fell into place, she thought of all he had done today.
Whether or not Alex recognized it, his actions spoke louder than any declaration ever could.