12. GIULIA
Nyx: Where are you?
My lips twitched as I stared at the text, but my smile kinda died as I stared at Tatána who released a quiet sob that broke my fucking heart.
She was on hunger strike, and I wasn’t sure why. I mean, okay, I got it. I did. But…
Okay.
No, I didn’t.
I got the tears, understood her misery, but starving herself wasn’t something I could get behind.
“Please, honey. You need to eat. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll make it. Anything.” God, I’d even started haunting blogs for true Ukrainian recipes. No matter what I did, she just wouldn’t eat.
She twisted on her side, shoving her face into the pillow as she curled into a ball.
I closed my eyes, wishing like fuck I could do something, anything, but it wasn’t like she knew me or I her. We’d both been tainted by Luke Lancaster, but by comparison, he’d merely touched my hand.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine what the women had gone through. What they’d endured. And, God help me, I didn’t really want to know why Ghost had forever lost her voice, leaving behind a rasping whisper that was equal parts creepy and soothing.
Knowing she wanted to be left alone, I moved away from the sofa where she was resting in a pile of squashy blankets and retreated to the dining room table where I took a seat.
This place was like the one I’d been living in with my brothers until Nyx had claimed me as his Old Lady, so I was surprisingly comfortable in it, even if it had been modified into a miserable kind of field hospital.
The smell in the air was disinfectant, pure and simple, and I worked hard to keep things under wraps. It had become harder now that Stone was gone, but we kept in touch, and she’d shown me how to give the women injections. It wasn’t ideal, but nothing about this was.
The thought had me gnawing on my bottom lip as I replied to my man.
Me: Bunkhouse. Why?
Nyx: Why d’you think?
Me: ‘Cause you’re a control freak and you like to keep tabs on me? :P
Nyx: Yeah. I’m all of that and more.
He was, actually, all of that and more, but I could deal with it because it came from a good place.
He wasn’t controlling me because he was insanely jealous. Possessive, sure. But fuck if I didn’t feel the exact same way about him.
And this shit with Luke Lancaster hadn’t eased things for us any.
Nyx was like a poison in my blood, only I was totally okay with not having an antidote.
There was no cure to this kind of love. It burned in me as much as it burned in him, and that was something I felt honored to have.
He was my savior, but my champion too, and in the face of what these women were going through, I felt doubly fortunate to have him at my side.
Me: You can freak on me later.
Nyx: I can, huh?
Me: I need some of that Terminator dick of yours.
Nyx: I’ll terminate something…
Me: Aren’t I lucky?
The door squeaked as it opened, then there was some more squeaking as the wheels to Maverick’s wheelchair connected with the linoleum.
It wasn’t the first time I’d seen him here, but it still surprised me. The dude, according to Steel, hadn’t left the clubhouse in years, yet here he was, visiting the women for the second time this week.
I watched as he rolled over to Tatána who huddled deeper into herself when he murmured her name in greeting. Her response had him shooting me a look, and I just shrugged a little helplessly.
She’d tried to take her life once, and I had a feeling she was just coasting until she succeeded where we’d managed to save her before.
She needed help, psych help, but I wasn’t sure how to give that to her. Wasn’t sure how to provide something that was outside of our limitations. Medical was one thing, but psychological was another.
I plucked at my bottom lip as Mav wheeled over to me. He eyed the kitchen, scanning over the half that contained the myriad shit I needed to keep the women healthy.
All the packaged up needles, and the sharps containers, then the rows of vials. I didn’t understand what they contained, just knew which went to each woman and when.
He eyed the table and muttered, “Brownies didn’t tempt her?”
“No.”
I shoved the tray at him, silently offering him a slice. Mav wasn’t as skinny as he’d been back when I first returned to the clubhouse after years of being AWOL, but he was definitely still too slim for his frame.
I’d seen pictures of him around the place before his discharge from the military…not unlike these women, he was a shadow of his former self.
A shadow I was trying to bring back into the light.
He clucked his tongue even as he picked up two brownies—he liked my food. I wasn’t ashamed to admit I was proud about that.
A moan escaped him as he bit into the treat, and I winced when a sharp, terrified squeal escaped Tatána at the innocent noise he made.
It had sounded vaguely sexual.
Mav instantly froze and pushed the cake back onto the tray. “Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.
I gave him a sad smile. “You didn’t know. They’re so sensitive to so many things… It’s easy to freak them out.”
Because he looked so guilty, I reached over and patted his hand.
“Amara’s in no mood for visitors either.” This place was like a morgue. And it made me so uncomfortable to think that, but it was true. “Ghost will see you though.”
It didn’t escape my attention that his eyes lit up at that. “Yeah?” he asked, like he needed my permission.
I figured, in my own way, I was the gatekeeper. Except this gate didn’t open often. No one came here apart from me and Maverick from time to time. That was mostly because the women couldn’t handle being around men and because I didn’t trust the sweetbutts with them.
Maybe Cammie, ironically enough.
The one woman who I didn’t like hanging around as she’d been Nyx’s favorite before me, but she’d had to go back home for a few weeks—sick dad or something.
“Yeah. Go on. You might cheer her up. Take some brownies. She won’t eat much, but she’ll eat some.”
I put a few on a plate then placed the dish onto his lap. He grinned at me and began the short journey to the bedroom where Ghost was resting.
From my seat, I could see into the open doors that led to Amara’s and Ghost’s rooms, so I saw Ghost twitch in bed at the squeaking noise from Mav’s wheelchair.
But she didn’t flinch, which I took as a good sign, and from the low murmurs coming from her room, so low I couldn’t hear, I figured she was okay with seeing Mav today.
Though I had to wonder why she didn’t mind him and Link but everyone else, Nyx included, made them all cower into their covers.
Was it because he was in a wheelchair? She thought he wasn’t a threat?
The thought pissed me off, even if I got the logic of it. Still, Mav in a wheelchair was as lethal as a regular dude who had the use of his legs.
You didn’t go into the military to come out as a pussycat.
Not that I was going to tell her that.
Not when she actually seemed to like talking to him.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down at it. My pussy twanged at the sight of Nyx in our bed…
Mouth watering, I tapped out,
Me: Don’t tempt me.
Nyx: I was born to tempt you.
Me: True dat. Fucccck.
Nyx: Yes, please.
Me: Think Mav would mind me heading out for a little while?
Nyx: If he does, tell him I’ll make him suffer later.
I snorted despite myself, then, with the prospect of being close to Nyx and experiencing some love and comfort and pleasure this afternoon instead of the misery of being locked up inside this room—even if it was by choice and even if it was an honor to help these women come back to their own—I got to my feet and headed to the doorway to Ghost’s room.
“Mav?” I called softly. “You good with me heading out for about” —Thirty minutes?— “forty minutes?” Best to be on the safe side. Nyx and that cock of his should have been illegal.
He twisted around. “Sure—” When he looked at me, he broke off, and a cocky smirk made its way onto his mouth. I narrowed my eyes at him, scowling when he stuck his tongue into his cheek. And pulsed it. Twice. Bastard. “Have fun.”
I sniffed, folding my arms across my chest. “If you consider doing laundry fun, then you have issues,” I lied.
“Well, something’s going to get wet. That’s for sure.”
Okay. Point taken. Don’t lie to Mav.
Huffing, I muttered, “You sure you’re good? They’ve had all their meds and will be okay for another few hours at least, so there’s nothing you’d need to do.”
“I’m better than good.” His eyes softened. “Go on. Get.”
Shooting him a grateful smile, I whispered, “Bye, Ghost.”
The whispering and muttering and murmuring was the regular volume in this place.
It was so like the mortuary I’d just classed it as, even if the people inside it were alive if not kicking, that it made me cringe.
“See you, Amara, Tatána,” I told them, as I headed past Amara’s door and the sofa.
They didn’t reply, not that I’d expected them to, and when I was outside, I let the sun sink into my body before I took a deep sigh and cleansed my nostrils from the stench of the sick room.
Tipping my head back, I paused, just for a second, then I felt my phone buzz and knew that was Nyx telling me to move my ass.
Which I did.
With haste.
My body was already heating up with thoughts of what he’d do to me the second I got into our bedroom, and the joy of it was that Luke hadn’t wrecked this for me.
He’d wrecked the bar for me though.
I didn’t think I’d be good with being in Daytonaon my own again for a long while, which I hated. Fuck, weaknesses were made to be overcome, but that was beyond me.
At the moment.
Never say never.
I scurried into the clubhouse, rolling my eyes when I passed Steel boning Kendra—fuck, I hated her the most—on the staircase of all damn places. If I could have sprayed Lysol everywhere, I would have done. It’d need it.
Ew.
This place was beyond gross sometimes. I often wondered who was in need of help more—the guys or me for considering this my home.
Rolling my eyes again at the thought, I carried on stomping my way up to my room and felt some relief when I made it to our door.
I considered it a good day when I only saw one dick that didn’t belong to my man and one pussy that wasn’t mine.
Heading inside, my mouth started watering the instant I came across Nyx. He had his legs splayed on the bed, those long, strong, muscled limbs relaxed in rest.
His body was propped up on a stack of pillows I’d bought recently—as well as new bedding, a new mattress, and linens because no way was I sharing anything with clubwhores—and as the door opened, his attention veered off his cell.
The satisfaction loaded in that one look had my lips twisting.
“That sure a bet, am I?” I joked, even as I closed the door behind me, pressing my back against it as I took a second to give him a lonnnnng look.
Trust me, there was a lot to look at.
Not just the log between his legs, which had more metal on it than a cyborg, but everything about him. Just Nyx.
Fuck, he was beautiful.
Like something Michelangelo wished he could ogle as he painted my man.
“Don’t just stare,” he groused. “Come and touch.”
I arched a brow. “I’m showering first.”
His eyes lit up. “Y’are?”
“Yep. I need to wash that place off me.”
I shivered, and his eyes softened. The arousal in them dimmed slightly, but it was replaced with a tenderness I knew he only ever showed me.
To many people, Nyx would be considered evil. But to me? He was everything I’d never known I needed. He was the dark that made the light in me gleam brighter than it had before.
He made me stronger.
Tougher.
All because he made me feel safe and, until him, I’d never felt that way before.
Which, of course, was ironic considering Lancaster had attacked me recently, but if it wasn’t for the brotherhood of men who were linked through shed blood and broken bones, I’d have been raped or worse…been taken to that pit where Tatána, Alessa, Amara, and Sarah had existed.
You knew shit was bad when death was welcome in the face of that.
I pursed my lips at the thought, not liking it at all, not when I had this man to come home to.
This man who looked at me like I’d put the stars in his night sky.
His because he was the King of the Darkness.
“Either get a shower or bend over the bed,” he warned, making heat flash through me. He was a gruff bastard, but you could never say he wasn’t direct.
“Oh, yeah? You gonna make me?” I retorted, daring him when I knew that would get me fucked without the shower I really wanted.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’ll do more than bend you over?—”
A giggle escaped me—the giggles were a new development, and I wasn’t particularly happy about it—and I darted off to the bathroom before he could say another word.
He growled, making my heart leap as I dashed off, and I heard his feet collide with the floor and his heavy footsteps as he chased me.
Suddenly, the excitement switched into something else.
Something darker.
Something…
My throat choked and my heart, already racing, began to pound.
Chased.
Hunted.
Caught.
Tunnel vision made the darkness spread, but I’d forgotten who owned the dark.
A grumbled, “Giulia,” and I was reconnected with the moment. With this day. With my reality.
I caught a glance of myself in the mirror over the sink and saw I looked pale and pasty, my pupils blown, my chest galloping as I tried to catch my breath…and he was behind me. Concerned but calm.
“I’m okay,” I squeaked, then he caught me in his gaze, and everything around me stilled.
He wanted to hurt Lancaster.
I felt it.
It throbbed through the room. He wanted to make the person who’d put this fear in me understand what fear truly was, and because I was made to be this man’s, because I was his fucking mate, I understood, and I fed off that.
Sick, but true.
I tossed my hair over my shoulder as I thought about what I’d just left behind.
A woman who wanted to kill herself, a woman who had almost died from an infection we were barely managing to keep under control, and a woman who was practically catatonic…all that perpetrated by Lancaster.
And ‘they’ thought my man was evil?
It came in all shapes and sizes, but I’d faced true evil, and I knew Nyx had faced it before and would face it again, only finding relief when he could bathe in someone’s blood.
Because I needed the relief, the release, because I understood now, I ground out, “Lancaster’s gone, but I think it’s time we rode.”
Because we were in sync, he tilted his head to the side. “We have to be careful. The club’s under scrutiny thanks to the investigation.”
“We’ll ride further. There are sick fucks everywhere, aren’t there?”
His mouth tightened. “You don’t want to see?—”
“I want to do more than see,” I rasped, tipping my chin up. “Lancaster can’t pay, but other bastards can.”
I was talking about murder. About torture. But fuck…that anger in him, the rage in me, it had to go somewhere. We had to burn it off. Between the sheets, on the road, together. We’d burn in the flames we created as a couple.
A breath exploded from him. “I’ve never wanted you more than I do at this moment, and before here, now, I didn’t know I could want a woman as much as I want you.”
Butterflies exploded into being in my stomach. “I love you,” I whispered.
His eyes darkened. “Babe, I love you.” His words were a rumble, a thunder that connected with me on a base level.
I swallowed, overcome and hyperaware, and then I took in the bigger picture, saw his dick had softened and, fuck, I wasn’t about to have that.
My mood had changed so many times in the past five minutes that I wasn’t as horny as I’d been, but I wanted to connect with him, wanted to be at one with him, so I started pulling off my clothes, clothes that had been in a room with the sickness of Lancaster’s actions, and I dumped them in the laundry hamper.
When I was naked, his cock was delightfully hard once more, and I smirked at the sight even as I reached up and jiggled my tits, laughing as he scowled at me.
“Get that fine ass in the shower before I make use of that jiggle.”
“That supposed to be a threat?” I jeered, but because I really didn’t want to smell like a sickroom as we hooked up, I hopped into the shower and turned on the water.
All the while, as it heated up, our eyes were joined, and the fire sparked into being between us in a way that told me there was no chance of this connection ever dying.
This was it for us.
I was his.
He was mine.
I sucked down a sharp breath and broke the connection because the need to get clean was more imperative than before.
Smart man that he was, he didn’t join me at first, but I saw his shadow through the curtain once I closed it enough so that the floor wouldn’t be drenched.
I washed up, sponged my entire body in his soap, and only after two minutes had passed did he step into the shower with me.
A growl rumbled in his throat once again as he took in my soapy glory, and I reveled in it.
Tossing my head back, I stared at him with defiance. A defiance that told him for all he was the King of the Darkness, I was his fucking Queen.
And if he fucking forgot that, I’d make him pay.
His eyes flashed, his jaw tensed, and in less than a second he was there, he was on me. He pushed me into the shower wall even as he dragged me up, widening my legs so he could step between them while I hooked my thighs around his hips.
His cock was there, a burning brand against tender flesh that still choked on him on a routine basis, and his mouth was on mine.
I felt his hunger. Was seared in his rage. And was reborn in his love.
My eyes grew wet with tears as he thrust his tongue against mine, his hands reaching for my own and pushing them overhead, pinning me to the wall.
The water and soap had taken away my own natural lube, but the pressure of him there, what he made me feel, what he made me need, was all that took for me to feel like I was going to die if he didn’t get inside me.
Right.
This.
Fucking.
Second.
I squirmed against him, my body slippery as it slid against his hardness, and his cock twitched as I used the lack of friction to get myself off, using all those metal studs and piercings to my benefit.
When he fucked my mouth, I groaned into him and he swallowed it, even as he reached between us, grabbed a firm hold of his dick, and pressed it to my gate.
Slowly, he pushed in.
Slowly, he reclaimed me.
He was too big to take me roughly, even if both our emotions were raging at a fever pitch.
But that he took care, right at this moment, when we were both more animal than our regular selves, was just a reminder of what we were to one another.
As his cock tunneled into me, finally there, thrusting hard and fast as my body took everything he had to give, I felt the peace that had eluded me in the recent weeks.
It was only here, with him, that I could forget everything, that I could focus on him and only him. On us, and what we made together.
A muffled moan escaped me as he thrust faster, harder, all those piercings going to work inside me like he was a magician and he was plying my body with magic.
Gravity pulled me down, making him work more, and making me feel fuller, even as he emptied me by retreating only so he could stake another claim and another.
Then, a scream was ripped from me and I tore my mouth from his to release it, to let the bathroom walls around me absorb the sound of true ecstasy as his hard, brutal loving took me exactly where I needed to be.
It was fast, faster than usual for him, but I felt his cum explode into me. His heat branded me, and that was just the icing on the goddamn cake.
Of course, those were famous last words, because when he nipped my bottom lip, hard enough to sting, that was the icing on the goddamn cake. And the sprinkles?
Well, they were liberally poured over every-fucking-thing when he grated out, “Mine.”
And because I was no shrinking violet, I rasped right back, “Mine,” and when I nipped his lip?
I didn’t do it to sting.
I did it hard enough to mark.
That single bead of blood was mine.
As was the fire in his eyes and the happiness in his bloodied smile.
“Fucking love you,” he ground out, pushing his forehead into mine as the swirls of steam from the shower clouded around us.
“Fucking love you too,” I retorted, sliding my arms tighter around him. “Need you, baby. So damn much.”
“You’ll never not have me,” was his instant reply, and if that wasn’t a vow, I didn’t know what was.