16. TIFFANY
Me: I miss you.
Sin: I never thought you’d admit to that.
Me: Why?
Sin: You’re pretty close-mouthed when you want to be.
Me: Ha, says you.
Sin: Yeah, I guess that’s calling the kettle black.
Me: Ya think?
Sin: Okay, okay, I admit it. I think we need to work on that though.
Me: You’re probably right.
Sin: No probably about it. You didn’t tell me about your dad, angel. That’s bad.
Me: I know. I’m sorry.
Sin: Why didn’t you? Didn’t you think I’d care?
Me: Fuck, I don’t even know. Not really.
Sin: Yeah, if you think I’m going to accept that bullshit answer, you really do need to remember what it’s like with me.
Me: What? That you take no bullshit?
Sin: Lol, yeah. See, you do remember.
Me: I remember you’re a pain in my ass.
Me: Figuratively and literally.
Sin: I can’t wait to fuck your ass again, babe.
Me: I can’t either actually. Ooh, what have you done to me?
Sin: Aside from destroying that bubble butt for good?
Me: LMAO. I can still shit with it.
Sin: Good to know rofl.
Me: You’re never, and I mean, ever, shoving pool balls up there though. Hard pass.
Sin: Pool balls?
Me: Yeah. Don’t pretend like you didn’t see the same shit I did at the party where we met.
Sin: Ohhhh. Yeah, I remember. One of the clubwhores…
Me: Exactly. My rectum is a pool ball free zone.
Sin: I can deal with that lol.
Sin: TBH
Me: TBH…?
Me: TBH, what? You can’t go all silent on me now.
Sin: Sure I can! After what you pulled? I can play that card for years.
Me: :P I have ways of making you talk, remember?
Sin: Lol, send me a picture of your pussy. I can’t wait to taste it. That’ll get me to open my mouth.
Me: Fuck. Don’t talk about my pussy until you’re in the room and can get me off.
Sin: Tired of your hand, baby?
Me: I can almost hear you rumbling that in my ear.
Sin: If I was there, you’d hear a fuckuva lot more than that.
Me: Christ, I’d love that.
Sin: Me fucking too.
Me: How long until you’re home?
Sin: Should be tomorrow.
Me: Good. Phew.
Sin: Should have been back today, but we had club business to sort out.
Me: I’m going to learn to hate those two words, aren’t I?
Sin: Club business? Maybe. I’ll use them a lot. But…and it’s a big but, I can’t imagine your daddy sharing all the nitty gritty of his work.
Me: No, but if I’d been a boy, he probably would have.
Sin: So glad you don’t have a dick, angel.
Me: LOL. Me too!
Sin: It’s not that great being a man. Sure, the whole pissing standing up thing is kinda cool.
Me: Kind of cool? Penises are so much more sensible than vaginas. Especially if you like concerts.
Sin: Porta potties are shit whether you stand up or squat.
Me: Fuck you. I might dare you to squat over a porta potty the next time we’re near one, and you can see how gross they are.
Sin: You dare me, I’ll have no choice but to accept the dare.
Me: I like a man who stands by his word.
Sin: That’s why you’ve liked me since that first night.
Me: I certainly felt something.
Sin: More than you expected?
Me: I think we both know the answer to that.
Sin: How do you feel about the baby?
Me: It’s unexpected, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a shit mom, but fuck, I can only try to be the best I can be, right?
Sin: You go in with that attitude, then totally. That’s all anyone can ask. I think every expectant mom and dad thinks they’re going to be shit. We just have to try to be better.
Me: Look at us, acting like adults.
Sin: We kind of have to, babe. You’re pregnant.
Me: No shit.
Sin: Lol. When’s your first appointment?
Me: I could have gone today, but I waited.
Sin: Why?
Me: For you to come with me? I mean, I can rearrange it, but, I dunno. *shrugs*
Sin: Thank you. 3
Me: Really?
Sin: Yeah. I didn’t expect you to wait, if I’m honest.
Me: Why not?
Sin: I don’t know. I figured you’d be one of those women who liked to do shit on their own.
Me: Maybe I would have before.
Sin: Your dad dying…it’s opened up a door for us, hasn’t it?
Me: I hate to admit it, but yes. He’d never have approved, and I don’t know if I’d have been strong enough to go against him. Damn, that makes me sound like such a wimp.
Sin: It makes you sound young. In this world, you have to take what you want, Tiff. Don’t let anyone hold you back. Including me.
Me: Including you?
Sin: Yeah. I mean that. You know how I feel about you.
Me: No. I don’t. Not really.
Sin: You do. You just aren’t ready to admit to it yet, and that’s okay. When I’m back, things will change. But I’m not a dinosaur.
Me: You’re pretty old. Lol.
Sin: But sexy with it?
Me: Evidently, or you wouldn’t be my baby daddy.
Sin: Lol. True. Fuck, we’re having a kid.
Me: Yeah, I keep having those moments.
Me: Sin?
Sin: Yeah.
Me: I promise…even if Dad was still alive, I wouldn’t have had an abortion or anything.
Sin: Thank you.
Me: You don’t have to thank me for that, yikes.
Sin: I don’t think you realize how grateful I am that you told me that.
Me: Maybe not. But I mean it. I would never have done that. And I’d always have told you.
Me: It kinda puts things into perspective though.
Sin: How so?
Me: Well, my life would have changed whether or not things went down the way they had.
Sin: Explain.
Me: Daddy would have probably cut me off.
Sin: I don’t think so. He loved you.
Me: Exactly. When people love you, they do weird things to protect you.
Sin: Sadly, that’s true.
Me: I know. I’m so smart for my age.
Sin: Lol. Don’t be bratty.
Me: But it’s what I do best.
Sin: LMAO. You do a lot of things real well, angel. Not sure if being mature is your best life skill.
Me: Oooh, that sounds interesting.
Sin: Not as interesting as what you were saying. Carry on. I think you need to get this off your chest.
Me: *sighs* I just mean…well, Daddy would have cut me off, Mom would have had a few tantrums with me because she wouldn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing, and everything would have changed regardless of us losing it all or not.
Me: Honestly, I almost wish that was true. At least he’d be alive. At least I wouldn’t be wondering if there was something I could have done to stop him from being so stupid. I can’t believe he committed suicide.
Sin: I want you to stop thinking of it that way.
Me: Which way?
Sin: ‘Committed.’ Like he was involved in a crime. He was obviously depressed, Tiff. Probably lost and scared.
Me: I think that’s what I can’t forgive. Was money that important to him? Did his reputation mean so much more to him than I did?
Sin: No, sweetheart. He loved you. That’s all you have to remember.
Me: Easier said than done.
Me: I don’t even have my degree, Sin. I know how things work, but even I’m at a loss. There’s so much to becoming a psychologist. I was only at the start of my education.
Sin: Do you think you’ll want to go back to school to get your degree? Maybe head in that direction?
Me: Is that an option?
Me: I mean, I’d kind of like that.
Sin: I can keep us well fed and with a roof over our head, Tiff. Not saying you could live like you did with your daddy, but we can have a good life.
Me: Really?
Sin: I might be in line for a promotion, and if I am, things will get better still. I might think about putting in an extension on the back of the house.
Me: Why? It’s plenty big enough as it is.
Sin: In case we want two.
Me: Oh.
Me: Fuck.
Me: Really?
Sin: I told you a long time ago that you and me will never be nothing, Tiff.
Sin: Glad I’m coming back just to remind you of that.
Me: Thank you, Sin.
Sin: For what?
Me: Being you.