Chapter 6
Six
A few weeks later
LILAH
“Oh!” leaves my mouth when I open my eyes and find Amazra staring down at me, where I lie on the grass. “I must have nodded off,” I say as I push off the ground to a sitting position. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Two seconds before you awakened.”
I don’t have to ask if he’s being literal. Though Amazra and Daemon have very different personalities, working full time alongside a hell demon for a few weeks has given me a better understanding of their straightforward, fact-based nature.
Standing a couple of meters away, his posture is stone-still, except for the clenching of his fingers. Movement I might not have noticed if it hadn’t caused the bucket at his side to shift.
“Holly told me about a big patch of wild salmonberries, so I came out to collect a few. I got a bit carried away, obviously,” I say, motioning at my full-to-the-brim small plastic pail.
“Then it was just so fresh and peaceful out here, I decided to lie in the grass and enjoy the sky and the sun on my face for a while.” Reaching sideways, I tap my phone screen to check the time.
“And apparently napped for over an hour. Are you out here to collect berries too?”
“I am. I did not mean to disturb you or encroach on your private time.”
“You aren’t. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
Most of the direct sunlight is blocked due to his position, meaning I don’t have to shield my eyes or squint to look up at him, but it also shadows his face. His glowing red eyes are the only discernible feature, and I feel the intensity of his gaze all the way to my core. My very tingly core.
Bringing my outstretched legs together and crossing one ankle over the other doesn’t snuff the sensation like I hoped.
The pressure on my clit just makes me want more.
A lot more. Thank god, and magic, the vibrator I bought at Lexi’s store never runs out of charge, because I have a feeling it’s getting a long workout when I get back to my cabin. Even that won’t truly satisfy me.
In my old life, I hardly ever got aroused, and I can count on my hands the number of times I had a quick, single, solo orgasm. Meeting Amazra was like flipping the switch on my libido. He’s the center of every waking masturbatory fantasy and every nightly erotic dream.
Though I haven’t asked, I assume my boss’s heightened sense of smell must be specific to whatever his previous demon duties were, not an “all demons” characteristic. Otherwise, Amazra would know I’m turned on right now. He’d know my arousal kicked in when I looked at him.
Convenient as it could be for Amazra to know how I feel about him without me ever having to blabber through a verbal admission, I’d be beyond embarrassed if he knew how he affects me but had zero interest in return.
Unfortunately, aside from his one comment that my form requires no alteration to be pleasing, he’s given no indication of seeing me as anything other than a customer and fellow townsperson.
We’ve engaged in friendly conversation during my daily stops at the bakery, but it’s always brief and never personal.
Not from his side, anyway. Not in the way I’d like it to be.
I need to redirect my thoughts. He might not be able to sniff out my attraction, but he has eyes. He’ll notice if I start shifting so that the seam of my pants is a makeshift sex toy against my clit.
“I should thank you for passing by, actually. If I hadn’t subconsciously sensed your presence, I might’ve slept all afternoon.
” Patting my face, it’s warm but not sensitive.
“Thanks to my dad’s side of the family, I rarely burn, but the sun seems brighter up here.
Probably because of the altitude. I guess you don’t have to worry about things like that. ”
“There is little that can harm a hell-born demon.”
“So, you just…live forever?”
“That is a possibility.”
Several silent seconds tick by. If that’s all he has to say on the matter, I should let it go. It’s obviously not a subject he cares to expand on. At least not with me.
“Were you picking berries nearby? If you’re just getting started, I’d be happy to help.
When I was young, I used to love going out to pick wild berries.
I was attempting to recreate that feeling when I found Max in the woods beyond the boundary.
Never did find any berries that day, but I found a new community and home, which I’m very happy about.
And now that I know about this salmonberry patch, I plan to come out here every day and pick a bowlful. ”
A slight shift in his position brings Amazra’s face into view. Maybe I’m sun blind, or maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I swear the corners of his deep-red lips are curved upward. Not a full smile, but a hint of one.
“I am pleased the salmonberry patch brings you joy.”
Gasping and slapping a hand over my mouth, I scramble to my feet. “Is this your berry patch? Am I trespassing on your property? And stealing your crop?” I don’t wait for his answer before grabbing my pail and rushing forward to empty it into his larger bucket.
He halts the process by gripping the edge of my pail. The position puts his thick forearm a centimeter from my knuckles. A small shift of my hand and our skin would touch. Or I could let go of the pail, fake losing my balance, and sort of fall against him. A lot more touching.
“Lilah.” The deep timbre of his voice snaps my attention upward to his face. There’s no hint of a smile now. But his eyes glow brighter than I’ve ever seen.
“Your eyes look like actual flames.”
He inclines his head in a small nod. “I was created from hellfire. Though my form is solid, the fire is always there, inside me.”
“I look at your eyes every time I talk to you in the bakery, and I’ve never noticed the flames. Is it because I’m seeing them close up, or because of the lighting?”
“I could not say. I am unaccustomed to such close proximity, and spend most daylight hours inside the bakery.”
“But not Sundays because the bakery is closed.”
“That is correct,” he says, to what probably sounded like a general observation, but was actually me putting two plus two together, aloud.
Yesterday’s weather was equally perfect, and my day was equally open.
Yet, when I talked to Holly yesterday morning, inquiring about community gardens inside the boundary, or better still, a pick-your-own farm, she didn’t tell me about the salmonberry patch.
This morning, though, she came knocking at my door, talking up the awesome wild salmonberry patch I had to check out today.
She’d drawn a diagram to show me exactly where to find the bushes.
Even if I hadn’t been excited for the opportunity, her enthusiasm would’ve gotten me.
Now I see yesterday’s omission and today’s hype session as clearly as the sky above. She set me up. That was some serious, best-friend-level manipulation. If only it would bear as much fruit as the salmonberry patch.
“I have collected all the berries I require for baking,” he says, drawing my attention to his bucket. It’s as full as mine, though three times the size.
“Oh, wow. When did you pick all those?”
“While you lay in the grass. Your eyes were closed when I came upon you.”
A snort escapes before I can attempt to contain it. “Sorry, weird hiccup,” I say, covering my mouth. There’s no hiding the heat flooding my face, though. No stopping it either. Not while I’m imagining Amazra coming upon me. I would definitely have my eyes open for that.
Clearing my throat, I stow the naughty thought in the save-for-later part of my mind, then take a step back. Whatever berry-picking meet-cute Holly envisioned, I’m sure it didn’t include Amazra quietly filling his bucket while I snoozed, completely unaware. Bummer doesn’t begin to describe it.
“I did not want to leave you unattended and vulnerable to predatory animals that might take advantage of your slumber.”
The thought of being gnawed on or pecked at while I sleep sends a bone-deep chill rippling through me. “Thanks for the nightmares I’ll probably have,” I say, glancing over my shoulder at the tree line, then up to the sky. Not a beastie or vulture in sight, yet another shiver rolls up my spine.
“You are safe while sleeping in your cabin.”
“True, but neither safety nor logic prevent nightmares from happening.”
There are no flames in his eyes now. In fact, they’re dimmer than I’ve ever seen.
“Did I say something to upset you?” I raise my free hand before he has the opportunity to answer. “I’m aware that demons don’t experience the range of emotions humans do, but you do have them. I’ve only known you a couple of weeks and I see them.”
The strong ridge of his brow furrows. Further proof that my observation is accurate, because his stoic expression seldom shifts.
“That is not possible. Even telepaths cannot see what is inside a hell demon. Upon arriving in Fate’s Falls, I made this request of the local physician, and it was confirmed that I am unreadable. ”
“I didn’t realize Dr. Schaeffer was a telepath, so thank you for that heads-up before I see her for my first—” I catch myself before the word therapy slips out. “Appointment.”
“The doctor will not access your mind without permission.”
“Sounds like you’re the telepathic one,” I say, cradling my chin and tapping my finger against my mouth while giving him what I hope is a playful smile.
“As for me seeing your feelings, I was referring to outward things, because I’m definitely not telepathic.
I wish.” Boy, do I wish. “Just now, it was the glow dimming in your eyes, though that’s more of a physiological example.
I see your emotions in your actions. You notice when your choice of words lands the wrong way with me and you make an effort to correct the miscommunication.
After picking all the berries you need, you could’ve just left me lying here,” I gesture at the matted grass, “but you care about my safety. Caring is one of the best emotions.”
“Your observations are accurate. This emotion, caring, and some others, have become part of me, and I do not know the reason or their purpose. This sense of internal disarray is…confusing.”
“Tell me about it.”
“That is what I just did,” he says, deadpan as ever.
And it’s sooo adorable. Giggling at his confusion doesn’t seem to faze him. If he were a human man, especially my ex, my reaction would piss him off. But Amazra is nothing like Bart.
“So, ‘tell me about it’ is a human phrase that means ‘I understand and agree because I feel the same way.’ In this case, anyway. In some circumstances, it would literally be a request for information.”
“The way your species uses language is illogical.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, giving him a slow, exaggerated wink.
The corners of his lips shift upward in the tiniest hint of a smile.
That’s all it takes to send my heart galloping. “Do you have plans now, or somewhere you need to be?”
“I do not. If you are still uneasy due to my earlier comment about predatory animals, I will escort you to your residence.”
“How about we soak up some rays and talk a bit more first?”
He’s still and silent for a moment, then it’s as if someone reignited whatever it is that makes his eyes glow. “The words ‘soak up some rays’ refer to absorbing sunlight through the skin while in a stationary horizontal position.”
My smile feels as if it stretches all the way to my ears. “Bingo. Which is another human saying with multiple meanings. In this case, it means ‘you’re correct’ and has nothing to do with the game of chance that uses numbered-and-lettered cards and randomly drawn balls from a little cage.”
“I am unfamiliar with that game.”
“It’s really fun. I’ll have to ask Holly if there are any bingo nights in town,” I say as Amazra lowers his massive body to the grass beside me, then follows my example and lies back, facing the sky.
It’s a struggle not to turn my head and look at him when what I can see in my peripheral vision is so striking.
In profile, his features are even stronger.
The perfectly straight line of his nose.
High, almost severe cheekbones that draw the eye to his tall, sharply pointed ears.
Chiseled lips and a jaw that’d make any male model envious.
A protruding brow line overshadowed only by the thick ridge at the base of his long, dark-gray horns.
And then there’s the rest of him.
It’s a good thing I’m lying down or my knees might buckle from swooning.
“Do you do this often?” he asks, continuing to look at the sky.
“Every day if I can, even if it’s just for a few minutes.”
“Why?”
My knee-jerk instinct is to defend myself or retreat by belittling myself.
A result of constant judgmental questions and comments from my ex.
Instead, I take a breath. Let the reactiveness pass.
Because it’s not Bart asking, it’s Amazra, and his question comes from a different place. Genuine curiosity. Maybe even caring.
“I was married to someone who made me very unhappy in a lot of ways. Nearly every waking moment, I lived in a state of anxiety. Sleep wasn’t much of an escape either, because stress is like fertilizer for nightmares.
One day, a particularly bad day where I had some scary personal thoughts, I kind of collapsed in a secluded part of a conservation area where I’d gone to…
think. Lying on the wet grass after a rain shower, staring up at the endless sky as blue replaced the gray, it was so peaceful.
Ever-changing but also constant. A guarantee that something beautiful will always come, even if you have to go through a storm first. I look at the sky for that reminder. That promise.”
He remains silent after I stop talking. He doesn’t turn his head to look at me, and thank goodness for that, because I don’t want him to see the tear leaving a cool track down the side of my face. But I know he’s not ignoring me, either.
“I have never taken the time to look at the sky,” he says finally. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” He’s a hell demon. A creature who speaks very literally. Odds are his words mean exactly what he said, nothing more.
But they feel like more. It feels like they’re about me.