34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Patrick
I now understood the true cost of doom scrolling. I’d been scrolling through social media comments, reading more and more disappointment that Marcy and I had called it quits. These people didn’t know us, they just believed the lie we’d crafted.
But then I found myself staring at the photos. Marcy dressed in gowns, looking gorgeous as she gazed up at me. We’d sold that lie well.
I moved to the camera roll on my phone. This was where the scroll cut deep. Photo after photo of Marcy being unintentionally cute, making faces at me, and blurry selfies because neither of us were great at taking them. Shots of the bakery space she’d go on to fill without me. Pics of Robby and Matteo. Who knew if I’d see much of them anymore. They’d side with their sister in all this. They had to.
I loved Marcy, but it wasn’t enough. I knew she’d been shocked by the turn of events last night, but in the end, this was for the best. I didn’t want to be another roadblock for her.
But wow, did it ever hurt.
A knock sounded on my door. My parents had likely seen the campaign announcements by now. I’d ignored my mother’s calls, but I wouldn’t put it past her to come here to patch things up. I wasn’t sure we could be patched.
I peered out the front window. A crowd gathered on the front walk.
I swung the door open. “What are you all doing here?”
The Russo brothers and Lucas stood on the front porch. Behind them, Marcy’s friends, but no Marcy. The group didn’t look right without her. I would have to get used to this.
Lucas angled past me into the house.
“We’ll make this quick.” Lucas clapped a hand at my back. “We just came from Marcy’s and she’s a wreck. One look at you, and I get the same impression.”
“He’s got on the Gnarles Barkley,” Robby called over his shoulder to the others. “It’s his emotional support T-shirt.”
I looked down at my faded, stained T-shirt. He wasn’t wrong. I hated that he wasn’t wrong.
The others crowded on the porch and front walk, but didn’t come in the house. Lucas gave me a weak smile. “Go talk to her. Tell her you love her. We know you do.”
“That’s the problem. I love her too much to—”
The sound of screeching brakes cut me off. A car door slammed. I looked out the front door as Marcy marched up the sidewalk in an oversized sweatshirt and what appeared to be house slippers. “Color me shocked that you all packed up and headed over here to harass him. Patrick, I didn’t send these fools, I swear. They descended on my apartment uninvited for a relationship intervention. An unwelcome one. You don’t need to listen to them.” She made shooing motions at our friends. “Shoo! Get lost!”
A few wild curls had sprung free from her scrunchie to dance around her face as she spoke. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes lit with fire. I kind of loved that she came over to warn me about our well-intentioned friends. Like she was protecting me, only it was from people who cared about us .
People who knew us and wanted what was best for us. Not to serve their own needs like my parents. But because they believed in us.
There was one person I would ever love like this and she had just shoved her brother to get closer to me. I made my way toward her, now on the front walk. “Marcy. I love you and I don’t want us to be over.”
She gaped at me, stunned. “But you—you were running away from me. I hurt you. I don’t deserve you.”
Seeing her here like this, I loved her more than ever. I would never stop. I needed to tell her now or I’d never forgive myself for not trying again. “I will never pressure you into marriage. When I tried to bolt, it was because I couldn’t breathe knowing I’d lost you. Not just what we’ve built these last few weeks, but all of it. I’ve loved you since I knew how to love. From my earliest memory of you, there was love. It’s always been you, Marcy. There’s no one else and there will never be anyone else. I won’t run again. Not unless you tell me to.”
Her shallow intake of breath nearly sent me diving toward her to comfort her. She blinked a few times, her cheeks lightly wet with tears. “You know I hate running. I don’t even like jogging.” With that, more tears came. “Sorry, that was confusing. I think subconsciously I didn’t believe in myself enough to share my dream with my parents, but you believed in me. You always have. I love you too. I don’t want to break up, but you deserve better. That’s why I said it was over. It should be over, even though I don’t want us to be.”
I closed the gap between us and moved my hand to her tear-streaked face. “You deserve the world and more. I only want honesty. From both of us, that’s what I want. Honesty to each other and honesty with what we put out in the world. Being honest with our families is a start. You don’t have to do this alone. ”
“You shouldn’t go through talking to your parents alone, either. You haven’t had any time to process what we learned about the casino deal. Please let me support you.”
I stroked her cheek, not daring to believe yet what I was hearing. “You want to stay together?”
A tiny squeal sounded beside me. Hudson had her hands clasped tightly and pressed against her chin as she emitted a high-pitched frequency. Yeah, we weren’t alone out here.
“Say yes, say yes,” Adam chanted. Jillian glared at him. “What? I’m invested now.”
Marcy slid her arms up and around my neck. “Yes, I do.” She pulled back instantly. “I mean, I do…want to be your girlfriend. Not like, I do I do.”
My entire world shifted, like a shot of adrenaline. “That’s all I want. Now. Forever.”
I was desperate to kiss her, but this was awkward with a crowd. Even Mrs. Cooper across the street gawked through a triangular opening between her curtains.
“Let’s give them space.” Noah corralled the group toward their waiting cars.
“Our work here is done,” Robby announced. He flashed me a grin. “See ya, bro.”
Hudson spontaneously danced, twirling her way toward her car. “That’s a bit much,” Noah grumbled at her.
She kept twirling. “Life’s too short not to dance!”
Everyone left but Marcy, who followed me inside. I shut the door and wrapped myself around her. I thoroughly kissed her. I’d thought we’d never get back to this. I’d been resigned to move on and here she was, in my arms again, where she belonged.
I pulled her to the couch. “I’m sorry about…everything.” It was hard to summarize at this point.
She looked at me thoughtfully. “When Nonna said at the party I’d told her I’d regretted waiting so long to be with you, that was a real thing I said. All those years we pretended we didn’t have feelings for each other, we could have been together.”
“I’m thinking we needed that time to grow. To sort ourselves out.”
She traced her fingers along my hand. “You’re probably right. I’d prefer to do the rest of my sorting with you.” She glanced at me shyly.
I kissed her forehead. “I’d love that.”
My phone buzzed on the side table, which reminded me I had news to fill her in on. “I sent out a statement from the campaign that we aren’t engaged. If I’m being honest on all accounts, I can’t lie to the public.”
Her breath caught. “Then don’t.”
“I can’t keep up the ruse. It’s not fair to voters.”
She pressed her hands to my chest. “No, I mean, then don’t. We can actually get engaged. Right now.”
“We don’t want a marriage built on lies, remember?”
“Of course I remember. Patrick, there’s no way I’m dating anybody else. And we already had an engagement party. You think I want to do that all over again?”
“The last thing we need is a hasty decision, and we can’t do it for the campaign. Especially if you’re on the fence about marriage.”
“You said you’ve loved me since you first knew about love. That’s a long time. And for me? I’ve loved you a lot longer than I recently admitted. A wise person once told me, ‘Life’s too short not to dance.’”
“She just told you that.”
“Recency bias doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“Recency bias literally means weighing recent events with more importance—”
“I love you, Patrick, and I’m tired of pushing it off. I’m not afraid anymore.” She kissed me again. “I hope you can learn to trust me. I want to be with you. ”
Certainty ran through me. Marcy was who I wanted. Always. “But I already put out the statement.”
“I read it. It said—”
“You read the statement?”
Her cheeks turned rosy. “I stormed off to my room after I kicked everyone out of my apartment. I pulled up Instagram as a distraction and of course the first thing I see is your campaign post. You risked your whole campaign to tell the truth. The comments were honestly pretty positive.”
“Yeah. People bought into us.”
“I looked at those pictures again and I bought into us. All over again. I didn’t really believe we’d get back together, but when I went back to the living room and saw everyone had left, I just knew they’d gone to your house.”
“Something compelled you to follow.”
She sighed. “Love, probably.” She flitted a hand at me. “Back to the statement. The wording was technical. It said we were not following through with the wedding. It didn’t say we weren’t engaged. Just that we weren’t engaged at the start of the campaign. Those people commenting would probably be excited to hear we’re getting married, just sometime in the future.”
I eased back with a slow smile. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
She clenched my hands. “I demanded you marry me earlier for the wrong reasons. Now the reason is for me. For us. Let’s get engaged and we can take as long as we want to plan a wedding. Or plan our next visit to a courthouse.”
“Are you sure you want to get married at all? I won’t pressure you.”
“I was set against getting married because my family expected it. They wanted that checkbox. But this is my checklist and my own checkbox. The only item on this particular list is you.”
“Baby, I’ll be your checkbox any day. ”
She snorted. “I mean it. If you want a real engagement, I’m in.”
This was almost too much. But I wouldn’t doubt her. We were building trust. Still, we were unwashed in pajamas on my couch. “Hold that thought.”