Chapter 13
Samantha could scarcely think on account of the pain. It consumed every part of her body and led to one singular state of awareness: everything comes to an end.
She clung to that as she gritted her teeth and squeezed the hands clutching hers. Adrian and Melody, both by her side, uttering words she could not decipher. And now her head was being propped up. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Another wave of agony rippled through her.
Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
She gasped, her energy almost depleted. All she wanted was for this ordeal to be over, one way or the other.
As long as the baby survived, she could slip away into oblivion, happy in the knowledge that she had accomplished her greatest life duty.
“Give her some water,” somebody said. A man. Perhaps the doctor or maybe the surgeon who’d been brought in?
Samantha wasn’t stupid. She’d known the birth wasn’t going according to plan before Adrian told her what had to be done. Drastic measures might have to be taken. She could bloody well feel it.
Something cool touched her lips, pressing against them.
“Drink.” Adrian’s voice.
Cool water spilled onto her tongue, and she eagerly swallowed. Lord, she’d not realized how parched she was until now.
When she was done, she tried to block out the pain so she could say what needed saying, in case she didn’t get a chance later. “If I die—”
“You won’t.” Adrian’s voice was firm. “I won’t allow it.”
“This might…be out of your hands.”
“You will fight,” he ordered even as his voice cracked with emotion. “Do you hear me?”
“Adrian…” Exhaustion overwhelmed her.
“You will get through this,” he said, completely refusing to let her give up, as she was now tempted to do.
* * *
Nothing Adrian had gone through before prepared him for this. Not the beatings his father had given him as a child, nor the killing Adrian had done. Neither had hardened him enough to withstand the torment of possibly losing his wife.
This was by far the most unbearable experience he’d ever had.
By God, how he loved her, which was why he refused to leave her side. It was also his reason for begging her to make another attempt at delivering the baby herself. Because the alternative… The risk… Her chance of survival would be slim if Melroy performed a cesarean.
“Please, my love.” He spoke near her ear while trying his best to force back the tears. “Please try again. Just one more time.”
It was a selfish plea considering how exhausted she looked and the pain she was in. He knew she was silently praying for it to be over, by whatever means necessary. But he couldn’t let her give up. Not yet. Not when they still had a lifetime to share with each other.
“For me,” he murmured. “One final attempt and I’ll never ask anything of you again.”
A weary sigh drifted past her lips. Sweat glistened upon her skin and dampened her hair. Evidence of the physically taxing effort she’d already made. But when his gaze met hers, he saw the spark of defiance he loved so well and knew the fire that burned in her soul still remained.
“Yes,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “For you.”
He knew it was egotistical of him to make her do it. The chance that she’d actually meet with success in her depleted state was slim. But the alternative was worse.
He turned to Doctor Moore, Mr. Melroy, and Mrs. Larkin. “She’s going to try again.”
“You risk losing both mother and child,” Mrs. Larkin said, her expression critical.
Ignoring her, Adrian squeezed Samantha’s hand while addressing Doctor Moore, whom he trusted. The same could not be said of Mrs. Larkin, whose arrogant manner grated. “Must that woman be present? Can we not manage without her?”
“I’ll have you know that I—”
“Mrs. Larkin, you are no longer required,” said Doctor Moore. “Mr. Melroy and I will handle the situation from here on out.”
“Well,” Mrs. Larkin huffed. “I never.”
“There’s the door,” Lady Marsdale told her. “Now get out.”
Adrian’s eyebrows shot upward. When he directed a look at Lady Marsdale, he saw the blazing fury that burned in her eyes and realized he’d underestimated her.
The docile woman he’d always seen her as had been but a part she’d played as Lady Heathbrooke’s companion.
In truth, however, she was as fierce as Samantha, ready to fight for those she loved without giving any quarter.
The midwife must have realized she risked ending up in a stranglehold if she didn’t disappear in that instant, so she yanked the door open and left. It slammed shut behind her.
“We need to make the most of this attempt,” Adrian told Doctor Moore while stroking his fingers over Samantha’s head, “for I daresay it shall be her last. If this fails, we’ll have no option but to place her in Melroy’s hands. So figure out how to make this work and tell me what I can do to help.”
“If I may?” asked Melroy. When Adrian gave his nod of approval, the man stepped up to the edge of the birthing bed.
Silence ensued while he examined Samantha.
And then… “It’s possible the child doesn’t have enough space and that this is working against your wife’s attempts.
Especially if the baby is caught against her pelvic bones. ”
“Perhaps we should try to turn the child once more,” said Doctor Moore.
“It’s too late for that,” said Melroy. “If you’ll permit, Mr. Croft, I will attempt an episiotomy — an incision that will provide more room for the baby and a greater chance of success.”
“The risk?”
“Relatively low. I’d do it without thinking twice if my wife were in this position.”
Reassured, Adrian glanced at Samantha, who nodded her agreement. Gritting his teeth, he echoed her response, then tried not to look at the various tools that were tucked inside the surgical kit Melroy rolled out on the table the nurses brought over.
Returning his attention to Samantha, Adrian set his mind to helping her through the next part of her ordeal. He prayed, whispered words of endearment, and tried not to let the effect of her suffering show in his voice or his features.
He had to be strong and solid for her. A rock for her to lean on in the midst of this raging storm. Yet as she cried out again, clutching his hand so tight he was certain the bones in his fingers would snap, he had to bite his tongue to stop from cursing the surgeon and the doctor.
They were only trying to help. They weren’t to blame for what had occurred. Whereas he…
Every ounce of loathing he’d ever possessed was directed toward himself in those moments. Lord have mercy, what had he been thinking? After losing his mother in this exact way, one would think he’d have had more sense before cursing another woman with such an ordeal.
Never again.
If Samantha got through this — when she got through this – he’d never bed her again.
“There we go,” said Melroy. “Get ready to push, Mrs. Croft, if you’re able.”
“Adrian…” A faint whisper of sound that transformed into a series of pants. And then Samantha was bearing down, teeth gnashing together, her eyes squeezed shut as she strained to accomplish the challenge she faced.
A grunt from Melody’s direction made Adrian realize how much his wife was hurting her with her iron grip. Yet she bore it with determination, as did he. A shared look of acknowledgement told him that Melody too considered her own discomfort a trifle compared with Samantha’s torture.
“Come on, Mrs. Croft,” said Doctor Moore. “Just a little bit more and your daughter will be in your arms.”
“Daughter?” Adrian croaked.
“She’s coming feet first so there’s no longer any doubt,” Doctor Moore informed him. “You’re having a girl.”
“We still need the head,” Melroy muttered when Samantha sank against the birthing bed, a mixture of sweat and tears adding a sheen to her pale cheeks. He sent a look sideways toward Doctor Moore “Do you see what’s happening there?”
“I’ll handle it right away,” Doctor Moore informed him, his voice so hushed it sent shivers down Adrian’s spine.
“What is it?” he asked, fresh panic spiking. “What are you talking about?”
Doctor Moore gave him a pointed look. “Nothing to be alarmed about.”
Adrian wanted to strangle the man yet that would require releasing Samantha’s hand, which he had no desire to do. So he watched in quiet terror while Doctor Moore leaned forward and did whatever it was Melroy required of him.
What followed, was an indescribable moment preceded by quiet and then the sharp wail of an infant. A moment in which his heart shuddered, and the world was forever changed.
“Adrian?”
Samantha’s weak voice pulled him out of his startled state. He bowed over her and pressed his lips to her brow. “You did it, my love. We have a daughter.”
He heard her breath tremble with deep emotion, then the sound of her gulping with sheer relief. When he leaned back, tears were streaming down her cheeks. The sight made his own eyes well once more.
“Here she is,” said Doctor Moore, his voice soft, almost reverent as he handed the swaddled baby to Adrian.
“I’ll prepare the sutures,” Melroy said from across the room where he presently rinsed his hands. “You wife may want some morphine for this.”
Adrian nodded while gazing down at his daughter’s tiny face. Perfection. Though he felt he could easily stay like this forever, admiring every eyelash and each of the sounds she made, he quickly delivered her into Samantha’s arms.
“Goodness gracious, she’s gorgeous,” Melody whispered.
“She’ll need to start feeding,” Doctor Moore declared. He cleared his throat. “Do you have a wet nurse in mind or…?”
“I’ll feed her myself,” Samantha muttered, the smile on her lips slightly wobbly, as though she struggled with her emotions. “If you could help me, Adrian?”
He knew without further explanation what she was asking of him. Ordinarily, he’d have balked at the notion of having her placed on blatant display before others, but all things considered, it seemed like the natural thing to do.
So he retrieved the dagger he kept in his right boot, and started cutting through fabric. As soon as her bodice parted, the child was placed at her breast where it latched on as though it had done this a thousand times before.
“The morphine,” Melroy said, appearing at Adrian’s side with a glass. “It should permit her to sleep through the last of the pain.”
“And then she’ll be well?” Adrian asked.
“She’s lost a significant amount of blood, so she’ll need at least a week, I should think, in which to regain her strength. Rest will be important for her, but after that, I do believe she’ll make a full recovery.”
“Thank you.” Adrian took the glass and helped Samantha drink.
It didn’t take long before she slept, upon which Melroy completed his work, while the baby quietly kept on nursing.
“I’m in your debt,” Adrian told the surgeon and the doctor when they prepared to leave the room a few moments later. “We both are.”
“We’re merely doing our jobs,” Doctor Moore informed him while shaking his hand.
“Nevertheless,” Adrian insisted. “If you ever need anything and I’m somehow able to help, please let me know.”
Both men thanked him and left. The nurses bustled about, removing bloodied linens, replacing them with clean ones, and helping Melody cover Samantha’s nakedness so she looked more presentable.
Melroy had said she ought to regain consciousness in a couple of hours. In the meantime, Adrian would stand vigil while admiring the two most important people in his life.
The love he knew in that moment could not be described. It filled him to overflowing and instilled in him the fiercest need he’d ever known, to safeguard and protect.
He'd kill for them both and die if need be.