Chapter Nine #2
That sets her back, and she eyes me with that look that says she’s recalibrating her opinion of me.
Then she says, “Female friendships are important. A well-rounded social life will be an asset. If you only have male friends, the Optimas will think you’re overly concerned with male attention, easily distracted, however unfair that assessment might be. ”
I walk over and plunk into a chair. “You don’t have to convince me, Allegra. I really am just thinking it through.”
She holds up a book pulled from her bag. “Every Dux is expected to keep a journal. It’s our history, and only Liliths can read them. This is the 2005 one.”
She opens it, and when I see my mother’s handwriting, my heart flips.
Another person would tempt me by reading passages and hinting at secrets. Allegra just snaps it shut and waits for my answer.
“I’ll let you know tomorrow,” I say.
—
Considering how little I slept the night before, I expect an easy and deep slumber.
Yeah…Not when my lack of sleep was due to someone trying to break into my room.
At midnight, I open the window for some fresh air and notice someone is outside, sitting on a bench in the yard. The figure turns and squints up. It’s Maddox. He sees me and seems to nod. Then he goes back to chilling, legs outstretched.
I nibble my lip, considering. Then I pull on my jeans with my sleep shirt and head barefoot down the stairs.
The back exit is locked with a code, which we’re all given. I slowly open the door. When no sirens wail, I slip out and relock it behind me.
I cross the yard, the trimmed grass cool and damp under my bare feet. Glancing over my shoulder, I see we’re directly across from my room, which is how Maddox would have seen my light on if he’d been out here last night. It still doesn’t explain why he’d noticed or why he told Theo.
When I’m about ten feet from the bench, I stop.
“I’m not going to bug you, Maddox. I just wanted to say you were right last night. About snapping back at Natalia and Jayden. I should have just dropped it.”
“We’re good, Chamberlain.”
I wait a moment. Then I say, “Do you want me to go back inside?”
“Your choice. Don’t mind company, but I don’t need it either, if you feel obligated.”
When I don’t walk away, he pats the spot beside him. I lower myself onto it.
This morning, I’d thought Theo seemed softer, sleepy, and not yet himself. With Maddox, night seems to bring the same change, his hard edges softening.
He holds up a baggie with rainbow-colored candy bears. “Want?”
“Those aren’t regular gummy bears, are they?” I say.
A soft chuckle. “They are not.”
Well, I guess that explains his mellow mood. When I don’t speak, he finally glances over and sees me looking at the bag.
“They’re just edibles,” he says. “Low dose, and they’re actually prescription, but I’m fine with sharing.
Just don’t tell anyone. My first week here, I got three people asking me if I could get them a little something, because obviously…
” He waves at himself. “Apparently I look like the school dealer. But you’re welcome to one. ”
“I’ve…never tried anything.” When he glances over, I shrug, hoping I don’t blush. “I’ve always had one thing going for me.” I tap my forehead. “I guess I was just scared of doing anything that might mess that up.”
“Ah, got it.” He starts to move the baggie aside, but I reach for it.
“I’ll take one,” I say.
He peers at me. “If you’re trying to impress me, Chamberlain…”
“I’m not. I’ve been kinda stressed, and if that can help, I’m going to give it a try.”
He studies me. “If you do, you’re stuck out here for the next hour. I need to be sure everything’s okay.”
“Deal.”
I take the gummy. After I eat it, we just sit there, looking out over the lawn for about ten minutes. Then Maddox stretches further to lean his head on the bench back and look up into the stars. When I do the same, he chuckles softly but says nothing.
After about twenty minutes of stargazing, I say, “Can I ask you something?”
“Guess so, now that you’ve cornered me by making me your first-edible watchdog.” He looks over. “Kidding. You can ask, but…” He blows out a breath. “Look, let’s get this out of the way. If you came out here to ask me about Theo, just say so.”
“Theo?”
“You know we used to be friends so…”
“I came out to apologize. And my question wasn’t about Theo.”
He looks over, gaze locking with mine. “No?”
I meet his eyes. “Why would it be?”
“Uh, because he’s Theo Dubois? I know him better than anyone here, so…” He spreads his hands, the left one nearly hitting me. “I am the Theo Dubois information pipeline.”
He looks over. “If you like Theo, tell him. He’ll either feel the same or he won’t, and if he doesn’t, he’ll let you down easy.”
I round my eyes. “Oh, please help me, Maddox. Theo’s just so…so…” I squee. “Everything. Tell me his secrets. How can I get him to like me? Does he like me? Can you pass him a note? Please, please, please?”
“You jest, but do you know how many times I’ve had that? Since fucking sixth grade. Maybe fifth.”
“I’ve been here two days, Maddox. Two days ago I was trying to figure out how to sell our fridge so I could buy food. Now I’m at an elite boarding school with a professional barista.”
“Wait, you were trying to sell—”
“Not the point.” I jab a finger at him. “The absolute last thing on my mind is getting some guy to like me.”
“Not some guy. Theo Dubois.”
I mask my unease with an eye roll. “I get it. He’s a big deal. Never heard of him before yesterday, but apparently, he’s super-special, and if he’s talking to me, I should be all…” I squee again, and Maddox laughs.
“You’re kind of adorable, Chamberlain. That THC is kicking in, huh?”
“I think so. How should I feel?”
“How do you feel?”
“Relaxed.” I inhale and exhale. “God, that feels good.”
“Been a while, huh?” He looks over. “About the fridge…”
“It was a dumb idea, okay? There wasn’t much left, and yes, obviously you can’t sell the appliances in a rented apartment.”
“Why not?”
I look over. “Because they come with the apartment.”
His brows knit. “They do?”
I sputter a laugh. “No rented apartments in your life, huh? Appliances usually come with the unit. So, selling them would be…”
“Tricky?”
“A wee bit.”
He bursts out laughing. “That’s awesome. I’m sure you could have figured it out, though.”
“Eventually.”
A moment of silence. Then he looks over. “Am I supposed to say that it really sucks that you had to consider that?”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
“That’s what I figured.”
We stare at the sky again until he says, “So what was your question?”
“Question?”
He sputters. “You’ve had one low-dose gummy, Chamberlain. You okay?”
I lift my middle finger, and he laughs.
Then I say, “Cecilia said you’re supposed to watch out for me, right?”
He tenses. “Right.”
“I’m not going to ask why.”
“Good, ’cause I wouldn’t answer. Yeah, I owe Cecilia, but that’s between me and her, and all you need to know is that my debt won you a bodyguard, guide, whatever you want to call it.
I know we got off on the wrong foot. I was not, by the way, insinuating that you didn’t belong here.
It was a joke that landed wrong. Also, not really a joke. This place is…”
He looks over at the house, and shadows cross his face before he shakes them off. “Think of it this way. When you ride a bike, do you wear a helmet?”
“Of course.”
“Because you like wearing helmets?”
“Uh, no. Does anyone?”
“Okay, so I’m the helmet. You don’t want me. You’d rather not need me. But you do. So just put on your helmet.”
I stare at him and then sputter a laugh.
“Fine, it was a shitty analogy,” he says. “Was that your question? Confirming that Cecilia asked me to look out for you?”
“No, it was…” I take a deep breath. “Who can I trust here?”
“No one,” he says, without missing a beat.
“So I shouldn’t trust you?”
A hard look. “I meant besides me.”
“So I shouldn’t trust Theo.”
He rocks back, and I swear his lips form one word. Fuck.
I push on. “Theo has been showing me the ropes, and I’m not sure his reasoning for helping me is sound. You’re saying I shouldn’t trust him.”
“I never said that.”
“You said trust no one except—”
“Fuck. Fine. Theo…” He runs his hands through his hair. “Theo’s good.”
“So I can trust him?”
His voice drops, just a little. “Yeah, you can trust Theo.”
“Thank you.”
He gives me a sidelong glance. “I know I’m not exactly the friendliest guy here, Liliana, but you can come to me about anyone. Like I said, I’m supposed to be your bodyguard, mentor, spiritual guide, whatever.” He reaches over, the back of his hand brushing mine. “You’re doing good, kid.”
I make a face. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now enjoy the stars with me. That gummy will wear off enough soon, and you can go to bed.”
—
I slip into my bedroom, and my foot slides on a folder that’s been shoved under my door. It’s taped shut, as if to make sure the contents stay secure until opened. With my nail, I slit the tape as I walk to my bed. Inside are two pages.
The top one is the printout of a form with the letterhead for Willow Grove Center, in San Francisco. There’s a tagline below the name.
Helping Teens since 1965
I frown and glance down, only to stop at the first line.
Patient name: Maddox Alejandro Perez-Moreno
My gaze skims down, over his birthdate and other particulars to “Date of Admission.” Two years ago. And then the next part: Following a breakdown, Maddox was admitted to Willow Grove by his mother. The patient was in obvious mental distress and residential care was determined to be the safest—
The rest had been redacted before the form was printed. A note in the margin reads: “Thought you might like to know about your new friend. If you want the rest, wait for instructions.”
I slap the page down, my blood pounding. Pounding with rage, which I suspect is not the reaction the sender intended.
Two years ago, Maddox spent time in a hospital for mental health issues. That’s his business. His.
Whoever sent this is implying he’s dangerous.
I know teens can suffer from mental illnesses that make them dangerous to others—a friend’s older brother had schizophrenia, but it was managed, and clearly whatever Maddox has is also managed.
Which means none of this is my business, and I should never have seen it.
I go to slap the folder shut before I can see the second page, but I catch a glimpse. It’s another printout, this one of an article. There’s a photo attached, and when I see that photo, I freeze.
It’s Theo. He’s a little younger, and he’s snarling, hazel eyes hard, one hand outstretched as if to smack the camera away.
The headline screams Hollywood Golden Boy Accused of Sexual Misconduct
The article isn’t long. Half of it is background on Theo—who his parents are, the fact he’s been a “paparazzi fixture” since birth and, according to this article, has turned into a tabloid fixture for very different reasons.
First he’d been photographed dating a seventeen-year-old actress when he was thirteen.
Then he was in the tabloids for dating a teen soccer star, the start of his “openly bisexual lifestyle,” a phrase that has my hackles rising, as if that’s part of his “misbehavior.”
There are rumors of DUI charges that went away.
Rumors of sexual misconduct allegations that went away.
Rumors of trashed hotel rooms that, yep, went away.
But now, the article gloats, the Teflon-coated kid is in real trouble because he offered the starring role in his second short film to a twenty-one-year-old actor in return for “sexual favors,” which were given… and the starring role was not.
I read the article twice, my stomach clenching more each time.
I don’t care about the other rumors. It’s the coercion allegation that has my stomach turning, and I don’t want to believe it, but it’s right there, in print, listing the actor’s name, with quotes from him and from officials confirming that charges have been laid and a lawsuit filed.
What was it Theo said?
I love it when people don’t know who I am. A chance to make a bad impression all on my own.
I swallow hard. When he implied he had a reputation, I took that to mean the typical bad-boy stuff I see referenced in this article. A busy dating schedule. Partying. Drinking.
Not using his position to get sexual favors.
There’s another note on this one, similar to the first, implying there’s more dirt on Theo, and I’ll have the chance to get it.
So who sent this?
Who would send me secrets?
The girl who deals in them.
Allegra Khan.
I didn’t accept her offer fast enough, and now she’s playing hardball, showing me why befriending guys here is a very bad idea.
And the only thing it’s actually doing is making me think I want to take a page from Maddox’s book…and choose no one except myself.