Chapter Twenty-Nine
TWENTY-NINE
When we get inside, Theo has already gone to bed, and for once, I think he needs time to himself. Maddox offers his room, and I grab shorts and a sleep shirt first, along with my own toiletries.
Maddox’s room is exactly like mine, with no personal furnishings.
The bookcase is stuffed with books, but otherwise, it’s so impersonal and spotless that I’d question whether anyone occupied it.
In my room, there is one thing that marks it as mine—the photos of my parents.
Maddox has something similar. Besides the bookshelf, the standard corkboard is covered in photos.
At least half are Theo and Maddox, which makes me realize Maddox must not let any other students in his room, with those on display.
Some of those photos have other friends from years past. I even spot Allegra in an old group shot, perfectly poised even at eleven or twelve, and standing on the edge, as if she’d deigned to grace the group with her presence only temporarily.
There are a few photos with an older man—his father.
One family pic with both parents and a girl of about five with her toddler brother.
I see more of Jenna then, through the years.
The last is one of those theme-park roller-coaster photos.
Maddox must be about fourteen, his expression bored.
Jenna looks our age, with dark curly hair and a huge grin.
The bathroom door opens, and I step back from the collage.
“You weren’t looking at my photos, were you, Chamberlain?”
“Uh, no, I—”
“They’re on the wall,” he says, as he kisses my cheek. “Not hidden in a drawer. Look all you want.”
I tentatively touch the one with the roller coaster. “She seems so happy.”
“Yeah, such a pain in the ass. Always smiling. Making me look bad.” He moves up beside me.
“That was right before she started at Westdale. I was in coding camp, and she picked me up to play hooky. We went to Disneyland for the day. She was always doing things like that. Sneaking me out, just the two of us, to do something fun.” He pauses.
“I never told her how much I loved it. Instead, I looked like”—he taps his scowl in the photo—“that.”
I lean against him. “She knew you loved going. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have kept taking you.”
He pulls me against his side, and we talk about the photos for a little longer. Then I turn to his bed.
“It’s just the standard double,” he says. “You gonna feel crowded?”
“Never.”
I look him up and down. He’s dressed in a tee and sweatpants.
“You got a problem with my sleepwear, Chamberlain?”
“There’s a lot of it.”
He throws back his head and laughs. Then he pulls me in front of him, kissing my lips lightly. “And what do you want me wearing?”
“Honestly? Nothing. But that’s implying I’m ready for things I’m not ready for.”
“So just my shirt off?”
“Please.”
His grin sparks as he leans in. “You want it off, you gotta do it yourself, Chamberlain.”
“Happily.”
“And if you take off mine, I get to—” He shakes his head. “Sorry.”
“What were you going to say?”
He kisses me. “I got carried away.”
“Were you going to say that if I take off yours off, you get to take off mine?”
His flush answers my question.
“Fair enough,” I say, “though I have to warn you that I’m not wearing a bra.”
He chuckles. “I don’t think that’s a warning, Chamberlain.”
I take the bottom of his shirt and slowly tug it up over his abs, admiring the scenery as I do.
I’d love to say I ease it gently over his head, but I’ll need a lot more experience to do that, experience I will not mind getting.
It’s delicious fun, slowly seeing his naked torso, and when he foresees the problem of me getting it over his head, he ducks to make it easier.
I tug it off, and then I look at him, his golden-brown skin and lean torso and sculpted arms.
I reach out, fingers stopping before I touch him. “May I?”
“You can do anything you like, Lili.”
When I arch one brow, he chuckles, the sound sending heat coursing through me. Then he leans down to my ear.
“I mean anything,” he says. “Just because I don’t have any experience doesn’t mean I don’t have any interest.” His lips move to my ear. “I have all the interest.”
I shiver. “Same. I just—”
His fingers touch my lips. “We’re moving slow. No rush, right?”
I nod. “I like that.”
“Same. So, when I say you can do anything, I mean that, but I also know you’re not going to do anything we aren’t both ready for so…”
He puts my hand on his chest, and I take some time exploring, running my fingers over him as his eyes close in enjoyment.
Then, when I’ve had some fun getting to know this part of him, I move his hands to the bottom of my T-shirt.
His eyes open then, lips curving in a lazy smile that sets my pulse racing.
He’s even slower removing my shirt than I was with his, and I get to experience it from the other side.
It’s just as good, the cool air touching my skin, his knuckles brushing me as he lifts the shirt.
When he gets it over my breasts, he makes a low sound in his throat, and my breath picks up speed.
He gets it over my head much more easily, and then it’s off, and he’s touching me, his fingers light, exploring and making me gasp and shiver.
I understand why he closed his eyes, because when I do the same, the world constricts to his touch, and it’s incredible.
Then, without warning, his hands go around my waist, and I give a little yip, but he only chuckles again and I realize he’s carrying me to the bed.
Maddox lays me down on my back. Then he starts to crawl in over me, but stops above me, uncertainty flashing over his face.
“This okay?” he says.
I answer by reaching up and pulling him down into a kiss.
—
I wake to the click of a door, which is strange because Maddox is still right here, sleeping entwined with me. I reach out, as if I might be imagining him. No, he’s definitely there, shirtless, his skin warm to the touch, and I run my fingers down his chest, making him groan softly in his sleep.
“If I were a better person, I’d back out right now,” Theo’s voice says behind me. Then he thumps onto the edge of the bed. “But I’m not.”
I twist to look over at him. He lifts a hand to cover his eyes. “I see nothing you don’t want me to see.”
“If Maddox has seen it, you can see it.”
Theo grins. “Is that the universal theory? If one of us does it, the other—”
“It’s too early for your bullshit,” Maddox says, eyes still closed. “If you tease Lili, you’re not seeing—or doing—anything.”
“But teasing is the best part.” Theo turns to half kneel, leaning over me. “You want me to tease, Lil?”
“Ignore him,” Maddox says.
“What if she doesn’t want to ignore me?”
Theo leans down and kisses me, and I automatically kiss him back, only afterward glancing at Maddox, my heart picking up speed with an edge of panic. But Maddox is relaxed, eyes half lidded, and when he sees me looking, he gives a lazy smile.
They’re navigating this so much better than I am. It’s not that I mind Theo seeing me in bed with Maddox or Maddox seeing Theo kiss me—it’s that I’m afraid they’ll mind, as if this thing we have is so fragile, it’s bound to shatter at the slightest touch.
They’re fine with it. With all of it. I didn’t demand this arrangement.
It was their idea, and I’ll admit I’d worried it was a compromise, neither wanting to back down or compete, but I can see it’s not.
Maddox has no more problem with me kissing Theo than he’d have with me talking to Theo or hanging out with him.
“Everything okay, Lil?” Theo murmurs, and I look up into his hazel eyes and see the barest hint of worry there.
I answer with a kiss, and it’s slow and soft, and I can feel Maddox’s fingers on my hip, and that ignites a spark I’m definitely not ready for yet, so I duck my head, feeling my cheeks heat.
“I should probably have a shower,” I say.
“No,” Maddox says, and I startle, but he adds, “I was talking to Theo.”
“I never said anything,” Theo protests.
“You were about to. I could see that glint in your eyes.”
Theo glances over me at Maddox. “Okay then, what was I about to say?”
“You were going to ask if she wanted company.”
Theo grins, fast and wicked. “Are you suggesting I should join her? Capital idea. And how about you? It’s a big shower.”
“Theo…” Maddox growls. “You’re making Lili blush.”
I climb off the bed, shaking my head. “He likes doing that.”
“He loves doing that,” Maddox says. “But he’s going to watch his step.”
“Mmm, I don’t know. I think Lil is perfectly capable of telling me to shut up.”
“I am,” I say. “And I know you’re not seriously suggesting it. You just want to see my reaction.”
“Your reaction, Mads’s reaction…”
Maddox rolls his eyes.
Theo starts to rise from the bed. “You sure you don’t need someone to wash your back, Lil?”
I put my hand on his chest, nudging him back down.
At the same time, Maddox lays a restraining hand on his arm.
Theo looks from my hand to Maddox’s and grins such a wicked grin that my insides light on fire.
I also tense, waiting for Maddox to pull away at that look, but he only rolls his eyes again and squeezes Theo’s arm.
“Let Lili have her shower,” Maddox says. “In peace.”
I take one last look at Maddox’s hand on Theo’s arm before I head into the bathroom for a shower. A very cold shower.
—
“He’s telling me he isn’t going to class,” Maddox says when I come out of the shower, my sweats on.
Theo’s lounging on the bed, while Maddox is up and getting dressed.
“What are they going to do?” Theo says. “Kick me out of Westdale? I’ve already been accepted to USC and I’m not in the running for Optima, so as long as I pass my courses, I’m good. And I could pass without ever attending another class.”
I thump face down beside him on the bed. “I know you want to protest this, Theo. I know you want to say ‘fuck you’ to all of them. Obviously I won’t stop you. But…”
“Will it look like protest?” Maddox says. “Or sulking? The golden boy got knocked down a peg and can’t handle it.”
Theo sets his jaw. “Don’t care.”
Maddox makes a rude noise because we both know Theo does care—he’d just rather he didn’t.
“It’s not just how it will look,” I say. “I’ve got a more selfish reason for not wanting you on school-strike, Theo. I really need to investigate what happened to Isolde.”
“Good point,” Maddox says. “If you’re making waves, Theo, Liliana can’t do anything even mildly suspicious. We have to continue on, business as usual, as shitty as that is for you.”
Theo kisses my nose. “I forgot that part. Sorry, Lil.”
“I’d love to let you strike in protest,” I say. “I’d love to join you. In fact, I’m planning to withdraw from the Optima and let Cosmo—”
“No, no, no,” the guys say in unison.
“But—”
“No, Lil,” Theo says. “After what happened Saturday night, we don’t want you making any sudden moves. We need you to maintain status quo until we understand what’s going on here. As for me, I can say ‘fuck you’ in another way—by carrying on, business as usual, don’t give a shit.”
I hug him. “You do that, but know that I totally plan to drop out of the race the moment I can.”