Chapter 29 Katherine—Gather the Girls
KATHERINE—GATHER THE GIRLS
Sitting at my vanity, I put on an emerald-colored bonnet. “Lada, I wish to look beautiful for Jahleel. I want him to be proud … proud of the disgraced bigamist seated next to him and Lydia in his fine carriage.
“I feel hopeless, Lada.”
She purrs and waggles her tail like she approves of the dark green color of my dress.
“Thank you, my sweet.”
How I look doesn’t matter if Jahleel only wants friendship.
Instead of cuddling with him, I watched Lydia do so.
It’s adorable. They’re such a pair. I’m ashamed of how fearful I’ve been of their relationship.
I read chapters thirty-six and thirty-seven of Pride and Prejudice.
Elizabeth has begun to rethink her opinion of Darcy.
“Lada, do you think if I wrote Jahleel a letter about how I feel, he’d change his mind about us? ”
My kitten looks at me like I’ve spoken Russian or barked. She knows the situation is impossible. My heart sinks, mired in sadness.
“Lada, what is it I’m missing? Why can’t Jahleel see we should begin anew?”
She blinks and sticks out her tongue before pawing the little bell Mr. Steele has suspended from the basket handle. “Guess that means you have no answers.”
Or does she mean for me to play along? Then I realize I’m desperately seeking advice from a cat—my, how I’ve fallen.
Georgina rushes into my bedchamber. With a blush on her face, the pretty woman seems out of breath. Scarlett enters right behind her.
I fret, gasp, and spin around on my vanity seat, prepared for the latest disaster. “Georgie, Scarlett, what have I done now?”
Scarlett recoils. “Nothing. I think my teas have had unintended consequences.”
“What?” I’m out of the chair and in front of her, almost shaking her. “Have you triggered his sickness? Have stolen—” I release her and shrink back. “I’m sorry. Tell me.”
She gazes at me. “I’ve done nothing to hurt him.”
Her tone feels cold. It’s the perfect rebuke.
I rub my face. The bruises have faded, but there remains a soreness that I deserve. “Just tell me what happened.”
“He’s fine,” Georgie says. “Perhaps too fine. He’s entertaining mothers and daughters from across London downstairs.”
“What?”
“Every part. From Cheapside to Mayfair,” Scarlett says. “He’s hunting for a duchess. No one believes that there’s one sitting upstairs, catering to his needs.”
“Scarlett, all I do is read to him. The teas aren’t helping. All he wants is words from Pride and Prejudice.”
“Don’t look at me like that. Katherine, my research shows that positive thought and attitude is best for healing. And herbs work. Stephen chose the book.”
I grip her hand. “I don’t mean anything. It’s just that it’s A. Lady’s fault. That author has grounded him or made him hunger for peace.” I look at Lada, slowly moving in circles in her basket. “Nothing I’ve said has done that.”
“Wait.” Georgina steps forward. “Katherine, you want the duke? I thought you didn’t?”
Scarlett smirks. “Tell Georgie. I can’t believe I know something she doesn’t.”
I take Georgina’s hands. “Your older sister is full of foolishness. I want Jahleel. I think I love him again.”
“You said you couldn’t love him.” Georgina looks dismayed. “Are you sure?”
With a nod, I kiss her cheek. “I’m sure, but he is not sure of me or my character. He can tell me over and over that he’s forgiven me but something is keeping him from reconciling.”
“Maybe you’re not saying the right things. When he proposed to me …” Georgina’s voice pierces me. Blood rushes to my ears.
“He proposed to you?” I find myself pacing, readying to strike something, but I’m the one kicked in the head like the mule I am. “This, too, is my fault.”
“Yes,” Georgina says. “The duke wants peace. When he proposed to me, he wasn’t looking for love. He’s done with love.” She reaches for my balled fist. “It was a test to help me see that I was just scared of saying my heart belonged to Mark.”
“Why are you telling me this now? Remember when I accused you of liking him.”
“This was when Lydia was sick. And he was desperate to be a part of the little girl’s life.” She comes closer and glares at me. “If I had been of lesser character or didn’t love Mark and had said yes, the duke would have married me. He commits to his obligations. He’s a man of his word.”
Scarlett wags her finger in my face. “So if one of those pushy women gets their claws in him, he’ll be trapped. He will marry one of them.”
“But we’re still married. That’s a point for the Cossacks.”
“Maybe you should remind him,” Georgina says. “Maybe you should be bold. Maybe you should trap him, that’s if you know in your heart that you love him, all of him—the strong man and the weak one.”
“You’re a chess player, Katherine,” Scarlett says. “I watched you and Papa play so many times. Move the pieces around to get what you want.”
Is that what I’m doing wrong, playing his game and not my own? “He won the gamble. I’ve been doing what he wants.”
Georgina aims me to the door. “You’re done walking on eggshells.”
Scarlett nods. “His fevered ramblings talked about you being bold and demanding. But you were like a rusalka, luring sailors to their deaths.” Scarlett continues, “He likes you being bossy and fussy and beautiful. He mentioned that a lot. Yes, be a man-eating rusalka. That wild-lettuce tea made him tell me everything.” She glances down.
“And wear your best shoes and no stockings. He talked about your feet a lot.”
Blushing, I plop into the chair by the vanity. Lada has limped out of her basket. She’s at my feet. My sisters stand on either side of me, and I ask, “What am I supposed to do? You start first, Scarlett. You are his mother’s favorite.”
“Have you told him of the demands of the Palmerses? That will spur him to action.”
Squinting at her, I shake my head at how close Scarlett and Jahleel are. “I told him to do nothing.”
Scarlett squeals like I stabbed her. “No. Wrong answer.”
Wringing my hands, I groan. “But they want Wilcox Coal and the house on Ground Street.”
“Father’s legacy?” Georgina sort of crumples onto the bed into a sea of yellow satin. “No.”
“Give it to them,” Scarlett says. “Let them save it and deal with the torrent of customers leaving. Thom’s sons say they lost five more houses this week.”
Scarlett’s words are harsh, but how can I listen? “It’s to be in our family—”
“Running it has caused misery, but maybe its purpose was to bring the duke back into our lives.” Georgina stands up, puts her arm around me. “Father and Mother wanted us happy. We all are, except for you.”
“And if giving them a nearly bankrupt company makes the scandal quiet, Mama would approve of that.” Scarlett puts her arm around my neck. “Look at the lengths she went through to save our Wilcox name. A business is not the daughter she loved.”
Georgina seconds Scarlett with a subtle squeeze. “It’s time for you to be happy. You know Father would do whatever she wanted. But if you want to fight, we are here for you. Just let the man who knows how to get things done help. He’ll save the company you love.”
That is the dilemma. I don’t love it. I love painting and supporting my father.
Drawing support from his other girls, I stand and pull my sisters closer, holding them so tightly I don’t think they can breathe.
Easing up, I say, “You two and Lydia are what matters. I’ve been trying so hard to fix everything.
I love you all so much. Forgive me for making it seem the business meant more. ”
Georgina lays her head on my shoulder. “Let the duke fix this. He’s good at fixing things.”
Scarlett breaks free and points at me. “I can’t stand this inaction. Do you love the duke? Does he mean anything to you?”
“You know he does, Scarlett. But he won’t acknowledge that we’re still married.”
She looks at me thoughtfully. “Then let him go. Let him marry someone who’s not afraid of his help or of him dying. He’ll never trust someone who ran from his weakness. That’s why he has a flood of bold women downstairs to choose from.”
I want to protest, but it’s the truth. “I thought I was being careful earning his trust.”
“Maybe you’re too careful, Katherine,” Georgina says. “He wants the girl who led with her heart and eloped.” She nods to Scarlett. “And apparently has lovely feet.”
“And until he’s stricken from this earth, he needs to fight and win.” Scarlett points me to the mirror. “You’ve taken that from him. If you’re trying to make him safe and dependent on you, things will never work. He doesn’t want that. Nor will he trust it.”
The stairs—I thought I was helping. “I want him to win.”
Georgina shrugs. “That seems a new sentiment, Katherine. You told me you would’ve made a different choice in St. Petersburg.”
“But there is no other choice. I’ve been lying to myself.
I’ve been lying for a long time. I loved him then and was so afraid of losing him that I allowed Tavis to convince me that Jahleel was the liar.
” Standing up straight, I lift my chin and say, “I was being a coward, and this coward hurt everyone.”
Georgina straightens my bonnet. “Then go down there and get our duke, by any means necessary.”
“Break the rules and keep him this time,” Scarlett says. “That gets my approval.”
“Keep Lada safe for me.” I kiss each of their cheeks, tilt my bonnet, and head to the lower level of Anya House. And as my beautiful daughter says, I need to get my duke, my duke.