Chapter Seven
June
I’d love to retort that these people are not and will never be my family, but I’m worried my voice will come out shaky, and no way in hell will I let this man know how nervous I am. So, I keep my mouth shut as I follow Theo to the front door.
The music blaring from the house is louder with each step, and I can feel the bass pumping into my stomach. The house is huge, bigger than I’d expect for a small biker gang. Before I can think twice, I ask, “How do you pay for this?”
Theo looks at me over his shoulder, pausing so I can catch up. “We’re lucky in the finance department,” he says. “With all of our different… income revenues, we could afford this place, which also has a two-bedroom apartment over the garage where Luna and Bella live.”
“Income revenues?” I ask, thinking about their chop jobs and drug dealing.
He shrugs. “The Cage brings in a good amount, and every member pays minimum dues. Kip and Zion have generously fronted quite a lot. Kip sold several apps he coded in college for insane sums, and Zion has a deep trust fund. Luna donated a good amount too, until her dad cut her off, and Nico, our youngest member, has his own trust fund and very little impulse control.”
I hum in acknowledgment of his answer, then turn my attention to the long line of bikes, trying to label which Saint belongs to each.
I’m pretty sure the emerald green Harley is Luna’s and the big one with tall handlebars and a low seat is Raphael’s, but that’s all.
I pause at a gorgeous sleek black and brown bike.
“Admiring the rides?”
I whip my head around at the new voice and find myself staring up at James, Theo’s best friend and right hand.
And my new roommate.
“It’s a Scout Bobber. Benny’s. He’s been eyeing Valor’s Chieftain, though.
” He’s leaning against the side of the house, holding a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other.
Tattoos peek through the top of his black shirt and climb up his neck, disappearing into thick red hair.
He’s wearing the club's cut, as always, and black boots. There’s an uproar of laughter from behind the front door, making my muscles tense.
James blows out smoke and flicks his cigarette to the ground, where he grinds it under the toe of his boot. “Welcome, June. I would say it’s nice to meet you, but I’m not going to lie.”
“James,” Theo says, almost like a warning.
But I appreciate James’s unwillingness to pretend. “Likewise.”
“You’re both alive, so that’s a win, I guess.”
Part of me really hates that James, and Luna, apparently, know the truth about my situation with Theo. It puts me at risk for anyone, much less three members of an outlaw motorcycle club, to know that I’ve killed people.
The other part of me is thankful because at least around them, I won’t have to pretend to be Theo’s loving girlfriend.
“Barely,” Theo says. He nods to the front door and asks, “How’s the crew?”
“Excited. Confused. Anxious to meet their president’s possible new Ol’ Lady.”
“Excuse me?” I say. “Old lady?”
“It’s a term of respect,” Theo interjects. “Refers to a member’s partner. Not every girlfriend is one, though. An Ol’ Lady is more. It’s a bond we respect as much as the bond between fellow members.” Then he faces James and adds, “June is just my girl.”
The look they share is oddly somber. James nods. “I know.”
Growing uncomfortable, I add, “I’m not even your girl.”
“You need to be a better actress than that if you want anyone to buy this bullshit.”
“Yeah, we’re not off to a great start, little reaper,” Theo says.
“Try to limit the amount of disgust you show toward me around the others. Now, come on. Let’s get this over with.
” He reaches out and grabs my hand, wrapping his large fingers around mine.
I tug at his hold, but he just squeezes and yanks me closer to his side before whispering, “Play along.” Then he opens the door and pulls me past James into a surprisingly nice home overflowing with bikers.
We walk into a giant living room with a pillar holding a fireplace in the center.
Several couches are spread through the space, and a dining room table sits on the right side of the room, where Nico and another guy are sitting.
The inviting smell of roast pork emanates from deeper in the house, where the kitchen must be.
We’re only a foot inside when one of the members, Valor, I think, meets my eyes, beams, and turns around, calling, “They’re here!”
Everyone cheers, and my eyes flick around the space, fight or flight response sparking to life. I’ve seen all these people before, dancing among them at the Iron Cage, but this is the first time they’re all looking at me, expecting something.
This is also the first time one of my targets has been at my side, holding my hand. Theo adjusts his grip so his fingers interlock with mine. Without thinking, I lean closer.
Valor turns back to us and throws an arm around my shoulder. He’s not a huge guy, but his touch is still an unwanted weight. “It’s great to finally meet you!” He steps back, and I hope he doesn’t notice my slight flinch. “I’m Valor, the Saints of Purgatory’s secretary.”
I almost say, “I know,” but catch the words before they form. “Nice to meet you. I’m June.”
“Yeah, I know,” Valor says. “I mean, I didn’t twenty-four hours ago. Then we get this message last night from our boss,” he nods to Theo, “that we’re gaining a new hang-around in the form of his girl.”
“She’s not just a hang-around,” Theo says, voice dangerously low.
“Yeah, yeah.” Valor waves him off. “To say we’re all intrigued is an understatement.”
Before I can respond, Luna pushes Valor out of the way and stops in front of Theo.
She’s wearing a short leather skirt and her branded jacket over a lacy bra.
“There he is. Our fearless leader.” She kisses his cheek, then turns to me, a sultry smile decorating her face.
She’s close enough that when she pulls me into a hug, our cheeks press together.
“And his personal reaper,” she whispers.
Amusement lingers in her eyes when she releases me. “I’m genuinely happy to see you again.”
I blush at the memory of that last visit to the Iron Cage, when I’d danced far too long with Luna and almost lost myself in the simple pleasure of it.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Theo says, pushing Luna back.
She holds her hands up, palms out. “Sorry, I get it, she’s your girl.”
I’m not his girl, I think.
But Theo pulls me further inside, introducing me to his brothers and sisters without letting go of my hand. I know it’s just for show, and he might be holding me close because he doesn’t trust me, but something about it still keeps the flames momentarily banked in my chest.
Familiar names and faces blend in my mind as he introduces me to the Saints.
There’s Bella, a tall, lanky girl with dark skin surprisingly free of any tattoos or piercings, who is a bartender at the Iron Cage.
Next is Daryus, the Saints’ sergeant at arms. He has bulging muscles and sneers at me, already not my biggest fan.
Theo guides me away from him, and we have a brief moment alone.
He nods toward a trim man with buzzed black hair who’s watching us with suspicion from the other side of the house.
“That’s Kip.”
“I know,” I say, inwardly reminding myself of the unique cover story he fed to Kip.
Theo chuckles. “He’s my third, our head road captain, and has been a member for years. Almost as long as me. He’s probably the smartest guy in our crew, including myself and James.”
“Wow, how humble of you to admit that.”
“A good leader knows his people well enough to recognize areas in which they’re superior.” He says it like he’s quoting someone else’s words.
“Why isn’t Kip the leader then?”
“He doesn’t have the instincts like me and James. And he has no leadership skills.”
Before I can respond, Raphael slides into our path.
“Hey, Maryanne, ” he says.
“I guess you know my real name now.” His bruised pride at being given a fake name is obvious in his frown.
“Right, June. Sorry about the uh…”
“Butt-hurt angry misogynistic text because I didn’t call you back?”
Raphael bites his bottom lip with a sheepish half grin. “Yeah.”
“No worries.”
“Don’t be so quick to let him off, babe,” Theo says. Somehow, his voice is both light and angry. Like he’s joking with me but fighting anger toward Raphael.
“I didn’t know she was your girl then, boss,” Raphael says, fear lacing his words.
So far, all the members have seemed at ease around Theo, but Raphael is providing a glimpse into the potentially lethal side of Theo’s leadership.
Sure, the Saints respect and love him, but they’re afraid of him, too. At least on some level.
“She wasn’t yet, technically. But that night was the first time I saw her. Well, the first time she stole my breath, that is.”
I tilt my head back to look at Theo, searching for the hint that he’s lying. There’s none.
“I never really stood a chance, did I?” Raphael asks.
“No,” Theo and I say at the same time.
Raphael winces dramatically and holds a hand over his heart. “I can’t hold that against you. I mean, he is the boss.”
“So, my rejection is okay because I rejected you for another guy? What if I just didn’t want you?” I ask, bristling. Sparks singe my throat as the fire roars. Suddenly, Raphael looks like a great option to help douse the flames.
But, no, he hasn’t done anything. Nothing that makes him deserving of death. That’s just the heat talking. The need for blood. It’s only been four months since Jared, but deciding to kill Theo early was kerosene on the flames. They won’t go back down on their own.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Theo says, nudging Raphael out of the way and pulling me forward. There are more people in the kitchen, and the delicious aroma of cooking meat, but Theo pulls me through a door into a pantry packed with food. He turns me so we’re chest to chest.
“You’re okay,” he whispers.
“I know.” The sound of a cracking flame only I can hear nearly makes me flinch.
His brows pull together as he studies me. “What is it? What do you need?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You’re fighting something. You want something.”
“I’d like some food. And space,” I say, eyes flicking down to the lack of distance between our bodies. With every breath, our chests brush against each other. I’m not sure if the burn in my face is from our nearness or the fire.
Theo shakes his head. “Something more. It’s been growing all night, I’ve seen it in your eyes. But just then, when we were talking to Raph, you… left the conversation. You were in your head.”
“That’s where my thoughts are.”
“Come on, little reaper. Talk to me,” he whispers, lowering his head an inch.
“Why would I do that?”
His lips part and eyes soften, then he snaps his mouth shut and steps back, putting a foot of space between us that I thought I wanted but now feels like a chasm.
“You’re right,” he says with a heavy sigh. “Just know this. We all have things eating away at us. Some of us have itches we have to scratch. If you need something, whatever it is, you can tell me. I bet I can get it for you.”
The pantry fills with silence, and I grope for some way to respond. Finally, when all I can think about is getting out of this small closet with him, I say, “I need my freedom. So, if you want to give me anything, give me that.”
For a moment, I think Theo looks disappointed, but a blink later, he shakes his head and reaches past me to grab the doorknob. “How about we settle for food?”
This time, when I follow him back into the main part of the house, he doesn’t hold my hand.
For the next two hours, we talk to his family of bikers, eat barbecue, and I struggle through lies about loving Theo and being so excited to move in with him and join the Saints.
He occasionally touches me with a short press of his leg against mine or a brush of his knuckles along my hand, but he doesn’t interlock our fingers again.
By the time we’re driving to his house, I start to wonder whether this next month won’t just be difficult but impossible.
And not for the reasons I originally thought.