Chapter Forty
June
“I still think we should take her to the hospital.”
“No. No hospitals. They’d ask too many questions.”
“Her ankle could be broken!”
“Valor said it’s only sprained. Maybe fractured.”
“She needs an X-ray. And medicine!”
“Sadie, think about it for two seconds. If I take her to the hospital, they’re going to want to know what happened. They may even call the police. And we don’t want the police around June, remember?”
There’s a frustrated female groan that I belatedly realize is from Sadie. I’m lying on a comfortable bed, surrounded by a familiar smell of coffee, exhaust fumes, and a comforting musk I associate with freedom, ironically.
I’m still in pain, but it’s muffled under a blanket of rest and medicine, more of an annoyance than an all-consuming agony.
“He’s right,” I mumble. A gasp and rustling follow, then the bed dips, and a soft hand touches my forehead.
“How are you feeling?” Sadie asks.
“Better.” My eyes blink open to see my best friend, black hair a tangled mess. Her eyes are red behind tortoiseshell glasses.
Guilt at how worried she must have been stabs my chest. Until I realize that she shouldn’t even be here because how would she know about Lorry or any of the shit I’ve gotten myself into? She shouldn’t be worried, because I’ve very intentionally not gotten her involved with this side of my life.
As if hearing my thoughts, Theo says, “She refuses to leave.”
I turn my attention to the biker standing at the foot of the bed— his bed in his bedroom. His large arms are crossed over his chest, and an expression of pure worry carves wrinkles into his forehead.
“Of course I’m not leaving,” she says, turning her head to glare at Theo. “She’s my best friend.”
I reach for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze even as my mind races to figure out what explanation Theo has given to explain this away.
“How long have I been out?”
“Way too long,” Sadie says.
“Four hours,” Theo corrects, rolling his eyes. “She’s so dramatic.”
I chuckle, vibrating my nose in a painful rhythm. “Yeah.”
“They won’t let me take you to the hospital even though I’ve told them that we could easily explain away a broken nose, ankle, and concussion.”
“What about the cut on her thigh we had to stitch up?” Theo asks. “Or the wounds on her wrists that are undeniably from restraints?”
I glance down at my wrists to see bandages wrapped around both. I reach up to touch my face, feeling pressure behind my eyes. My fingers barely graze the tape on my nose, and I hiss from the pain.
“That did break, I think,” Theo says. “But it’ll heal mostly straight.”
I register then that someone must have cleaned and changed me. I’m wearing one of Theo’s large T-shirts, and there’s no visible blood.
“You gave me stitches?”
“Valor did,” he says. “He used to be a doctor. He also looked at your ankle and said it wasn’t broken.”
“Even though it’s purple and swollen,” Sadie mutters.
“Valor was a doctor?”
Theo nods. “Few years ago. It’s convenient as hell. Axel also got his hands on some morphine. Not much, but enough to get you through the night.”
“And who… bathed me?”
“I did,” he says, words low and threatening.
She laughs. “He wouldn’t let anyone near you while he changed and cleaned you. Not even me or Luna. I told him I’ve seen you naked a dozen times, but he went all territorial alphahole on us.”
I roll my eyes, grinning at the thought of Theo refusing to let anyone see me undressed while I was unconscious and covered in blood. “Where is Luna?”
“At the clubhouse,” Theo answers. “James is out in the living room keeping guard, and Kip is with Bethany, so I left Luna in charge of handling the Saints. They’re all worried and want to come see you. She’s fielding questions about what happened. But don’t worry about that right now.”
I want to ask about Kip and Bethany, but other questions take precedence. “How did you find me?”
“That was all me,” Sadie says smugly.
From the way Theo tightens his jaw, I know she’s telling the truth.
“What happened?” I direct the question to Theo.
A different sort of worry flashes in his eyes then. A worry not for my well-being, but about whatever he’s going to tell me. I let go of her hand to push myself up, grimacing. Sadie helps me, murmuring for me not to move too much.
Before he can start talking, I look at him, then back at her. He can’t talk freely with her here. “Wait. First, Sadie, do you mind get—”
“Don’t even try,” she interrupts. “I’m not leaving. You don’t have to worry about me hearing something I shouldn’t. I know enough.”
Eyes widening, I turn an accusatory glare at Theo. If he told my best friend about my compulsions, I’m changing my decision not to kill him.
He holds his hands out in surrender. “I didn’t tell her anything. She already knew. Kind of.”
“Kind of?” My stomach gurgles uncomfortably, every nerve ending screaming to change the topic or get Sadie out of this house.
“It’s fine, June,” she says. “I’ve suspected for a while now.”
Ice fills my body, and my heart beats like a funeral drum in my ears. “What?”
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” she asks. “And I mean anything. This isn’t Jennifer’s Body . I’m here for you, and I trust you.”
My eyes thaw from hot tears that don’t fall. I want to believe her, but she can’t possibly mean that. Or she won’t mean it if I told her the truth.
Seeing my disbelief, she adds, “Dakota was an idiot and an asshole. Do you think I’m the least bit sad that he’s dead?
I hoped you’d eventually tell me yourself.
That’s why any time we’re watching Criminal Minds and the unsub ends up being a woman who kills asshole men, I always say that I support her. That’s not a joke.”
I gape at her. Even though my body is still on edge, ready to flee, my mind is spinning with the desire to believe her. I desperately want this to be real. If she knew and wasn’t horrified and disgusted? It would change everything.
“I love you,” she says, stressing each word. “No amount of Dexter tendencies is going to change that.”
Tears fall from both eyes. “Really?”
She nods. “Really.”
A fraction of uncertainty remains in my mind.
Maybe she’d be okay with a few random murders.
But if she knew I’ve killed fifteen people, one of whom was my own father, would she still love me?
And what about her safety? If I’m ever caught and the police find out Sadie knew, she’d be sent to prison for aiding and abetting.
So, don’t get caught, a tiny voice whispers in the back of my head.
A month ago, I would’ve confidently boasted that I’d never be caught. But lying here still in pain after being kidnapped by a cop who did catch me shatters that confidence.
“I believe her,” Theo says. “Trust me, I’ve tried everything to get rid of her.” He shakes his head, then moves to sit in the empty chair next to the bed across from her. “Do you think if I thought for a second she was a threat to you, emotionally or literally, that I’d allow her to be here?”
The authenticity in his tone obliterates the remaining uncertainty. I nod, turn to Sadie, and whisper, “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me. What are best friends for if not to support each other’s interests? Even of the stabby variety.”
I laugh, eyes still blurry with tears. A moment later, I repeat my request for information, and Theo starts talking.
He tells me about finding me missing, then calling anyone he could think of, Sadie included.
He tells me about killing Miles and figuring out that Lorry must have taken me because of that.
He explains threatening Lorry’s wife and having the Saints join in on the search.
He skims over his fear, but it’s evident in how his voice shakes.
“Then Sadie thought about police auctions and…” he trails off, letting her pick up the story.
“Maple hacked their database for us,” she says, referring to Rose’s sister.
“She said it was simple because the auction information wasn’t as protected or something like that.
We checked all the homes on the list, and three were remote enough for Lorry to have taken you.
One was condemned, and one they’d already checked because Lorry was involved with the case.
So, we left to check the last one. Your brute of a boyfriend tried to tell me not to come, even threatened to tie me up, but you’re not the only badass in this friendship. ” She winks, and I laugh.
“She threatened to castrate me,” Theo says, glaring at my best friend. I laugh harder, then wince at the pain flaring in the base of my skull.
“Yeah, well, you’d deserve it,” she fires back. “That’s pretty much it. We came to rescue you. Though it looked like you were doing a fine job at rescuing yourself. Were you really about to strangle a detective with the same ropes he used to tie you up?” She whistles when I nod.
Looking at Theo, I say, “If you were two minutes later, I could’ve added a new stone to my tattoo. Now this kill belongs to you.”
“Sorry, little reaper,” he says, not sounding sorry in the least. “I would’ve kept him alive for you to have your fun with, but seeing you two on the floor like that…”
“I know. It’s okay.”
“Anyway,” Sadie says, reclaiming my attention.
“After that, we brought you back. Valor fixed you up, Theo has been obsessively watching you sleep like a creep, and I texted the girls that you were fine. Told them your car broke down and you didn’t have service to call us.
I never told Rose about calling Maple, and she was all too happy to keep everything a secret. ”
That doesn't surprise me. Maple is a year younger than Rose, but the two are polar opposites. Where Rose is all smiles and pastel colors, Maple barely shows emotions and lives in the shadows. She’s helped me with a few things over the years without asking questions, like erasing security footage or making sure messages are sent from a specific IP address.
She’s always seemed like someone with her fair share of secrets.
I would, too, if I’d grown up in a cult.
It’s a miracle Rose came out of their childhood with all of her infectious joy still intact.
“Thank you.”
“Any time,” Sadie says. “Now, your turn to tell us what happened.” Theo clears his throat, and she must hear an unspoken request because she stands from the bed.
“Actually, why don’t we talk tomorrow after you’ve slept?
I’ll make some valerian tea. I’m sleeping here, so I’ll be around when you wake up. ”
“Of course.”
She leans over me, presses a kiss to my forehead, and says quietly, “Reapers deserve love too. Don’t forget that.” She straightens and heads for the door, winking once before shutting it behind her.
Alone with Theo now, the room feels heavier. Though I’m not sure if the weight is suffocating or comforting. Whatever happens next will determine that.
It takes incredible courage to look at him. I’m too tired to put words to why my lungs tighten when our gazes lock.
He breaks the silence first. “Never do that to me again.”
I would laugh if he didn’t sound so serious. Or if his eyes weren’t glassy and cupped by tired bags.
“It’s been nearly eight years since I felt that kind of fear.”
The reminder of what happened eight years ago, who he lost, is acid in my lungs, eating up my ability to fully inhale. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, baby.” It’s more of a broken sound falling from his mouth than actual words.
He moves from the chair to the bed, hands going to my jaw.
His proximity is like an invading salve in my body, healing my lungs and melting away the nerves and insecurity I hadn’t realized were clenching my heart.
“ I’m sorry. This is all my fault. And if something had happened to you, I… ”
“Don’t.” I hook my hands over his wrists and saturate my stare with love. “This isn’t your fault. And I’m okay.”
He drops his head, shoulders quivering like they’re about to start shaking. I pull one of his hands away and move it to my chest so he can feel my heartbeat.
“See? I’m okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
He makes a strangled sound that I’m not sure was meant to be a word.
“Look at me, Theo.”
He obeys, revealing tears falling down his cheeks.
“I’m alive. You found me. I—” My throat spasms, and I close my eyes to take a long breath before looking at him again. “I love you, Theo.”
His eyes widen. Then he’s on me, lips claiming mine in a way they never have before.
I grip the back of his neck, fingers crawling into his hair like they belong there.
Falling into this kiss is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
I barely register the pain from my nose, focusing solely on the heat of his mouth and the fortifying brush of his tongue against mine.
It ends too soon, but Theo doesn’t go far. He presses our foreheads together, breathing me in like I’m the first flower after years of a brutal winter.
“I never thought I’d love anyone enough to feel so afraid of losing them like that again.
After Scottie. After Shiloh.” A tear drops from his nose.
He pulls away just an inch so he can look at me properly.
“I knew I loved you, but I didn’t realize how much until you were gone.
I didn’t think I was capable of loving anyone like that anymore. ”
My breath is almost a hiccup, and I realize I’m crying too. “Theo…”
“No matter what you decide to do next, just promise me you’ll be okay. I can’t lose you. Not like that.”
I almost smile. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“It’s technically Saturday now. February fifteenth.” He doesn't have to elaborate. I know what he’s asking.
“I love you. We both know this stopped being about some stupid deal a long time ago. I want more than thirty days with you.”
His entire body relaxes, and he mutters, “Thank fuck,” before kissing me again.
There’s still so much to discuss. What happened with Lorry, living situations, what exactly Sadie knows, what to tell the rest of the Saints, the lingering threat of the South Five. But right now, none of that matters.
All that matters is the two of us, in this second. No longer enemies agreeing to a temporary truce before killing each other, but lovers who have killed for the other and will happily do so again.
Deciding to murder Theo Zervas was the best decision I ever made.
Because only he could make a reaper feel so alive.