Chapter Twenty-One
What did one say when a fantasy came to life? This was madness, something that was both possible and impossible and she didn’t know how to respond. ‘After only six weeks? Jasper, are you sure?’ She could feel herself trembling with shock and delight, and surprise and, yes, with uncertainty.
‘I am sure, but perhaps you are not?’ Jasper seemed disappointed with her response. Dear heavens, she was hurting him all over again in a different sort of way. She seemed doomed to hurt him. He made to disengage his hand, but she held on, refusing to let him go.
‘It’s not that. I am overwhelmed by the asking,’ Fleur said hurriedly. ‘Perhaps too overwhelmed to think straight.’
‘I love you, Fleur.’
Her voice shook a little at hearing the words for the first time from him. ‘I know you do. I saw it in your eyes tonight. You came to save me, not yourself. That was an act of true love, an act that was entirely selfless.’
‘I want you to be my partner in all things and I want to be yours. I want a life with you in the country at Rosefields, children with you, the family we both want.’
Fleur nodded, unable to speak against the emotion conjured by his words and the images that went with them. He offered her everything she craved and true partnership to go with it. She understood implicitly that partnership had made tonight’s outcome possible. If he’d not compelled her into partnership with him, if they’d remained opposing enemies, tonight could have hurt them both—exposing his brother in an unfair, incomplete light in a way that cast aspersions on him and the family, as well as hurting the paper’s reputation. But the honesty of their partnership, their trust in each other, had prevented that two-way disaster.
‘It would be easy to say yes, Jasper. But I am not sure it would be right or fair to either of us to jump headlong into this.’ She paused. ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I’ve been back. This week, I had everything I thought I’d been searching for. I had justice for Adam, validation of my hold on his news empire, recognition. And it wasn’t enough. Those things didn’t fill me. They were things that were important to Adam and, without him, they were no longer important to me. I still think the values that Adam championed are important—literacy and access to information as cornerstones to a society that practises real equality.
‘I still want to fight for those things, promote those things. But I don’t know if I need to do it at the helm of a news syndicate. I certainly couldn’t run the syndicate from Rosefields. It is too remote. But maybe I am ready to give all of that over to someone else and start fresh with those efforts on a more local level. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of the Huddersfield Banking Company’s book and focus on regional literacy efforts close to home at Rosefields.’ She leaned close. ‘Do you hear what I am saying, Jasper? I just don’t know what the right direction is for me. I have to work some things out about what I want and how I want them before I can invite someone into my life on a more permanent level.’
Jasper smiled. ‘That doesn’t sound like no.’
Something warm blossomed in the vicinity of her heart. Perhaps that was what hope felt like. ‘It’s not “no”. It’s “I need a long engagement”. I think you do, too. Between the newspapers and Parliamentary legislation, we have a big year ahead of us, Jasper, plenty of time and ways in which to test our partnership.’ She could feel relief sweeping him and she let herself be drawn into his arms until she was on his lap. She reached for his glasses. ‘I’m looking forward to most of it.’
‘What part are you not looking forward to?’ Jasper teased, stealing a kiss.
‘Meeting your mother. I’m not on her list.’ That would be one more item they’d need the year to sort out.
‘You’re not on the list...yet. But you will be.’ Jasper grinned. ‘So, this time next year, you’ll marry me?’
She twined her arms about his neck, letting her fingers play with his hair. ‘Yes, but I have conditions. I want a small ceremony at Rosefields, family only. No big celebration. Just something intimate. Quiet.’
‘Perfect.’ He laughed against her lips. ‘Just as I imagined it. Until then, we’ll have one whirlwind of a year.’
‘We made the front page,’ Fleur whispered, startling Jasper in the tiny antechamber of the Rosefields family chapel.
‘What are you doing here?’ Jasper scolded in surprised tones that conveyed more pleasure at the surprise than displeasure. ‘It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.’ But from the look in his eyes, he didn’t seem to mind. She gave a twirl in her wedding gown, showing off the delicate raised white roses embroidered at the hem. The gown was made from a pretty white cotton, fresh and simple with its three-tiered skirt and tight-fitted bodice. She’d chosen to wear white even though she wasn’t a new bride: white for new beginnings, new chances.
‘You’ve been seeing me all year. I can’t think today makes much of a difference.’ She laughed, twining her arms about his neck.
‘What’s this about the front page?’
‘We’re the headline on the front page of the London Tribune. “Newspaper Mogul Makes Marriage Deal with Marquess”,’ she recited happily. ‘They ran a whole article about us: how we met, what we’ve done together this year and our plans for the future.’
‘They need a whole special edition for that!’ Jasper chuckled.
‘It was a pretty spectacular year.’
They’d spent the year lobbying for legislation that would prevent lax accountability on dam commissions. Just last week, they’d celebrated their bill passing the House of the Commons. They’d also spent the year making decisions about life going forward. Fleur decided it was indeed the right choice for her to scale back her active role in the news syndicate.
She still held stock in the company, but her role was now focused on overseeing the regional paper out of Huddersfield so that she had time working with a local committee dedicated to establishing a public library open to everyone without fees. She even had time now to devote to her own personal writing and had a novel in the works.
Socially, the year had been spent navigating new social circles for Fleur. The Duchess of Cowden and Jasper’s mother combined efforts to ease that transition. When she was in town, Fleur enjoyed re-joining the Duchess’s charity circles and in November, she and Jasper had attended both the Duchess’s Christmas fundraising ball and Lady Brixton’s literacy ball. There would always be those who looked down their noses at her and who would think Jasper had married beneath himself, but she’d found many people quite welcoming and even a bit awed by her.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered to Jasper.
‘For what?’
‘For this year, for giving me the time I needed to sort through my life so that I could come to you whole and ready to commit to our life together.’ She kissed him just as Orion poked his head into the little antechamber.
‘Ahem. Ten minutes, Brother. Really, you two, could you wait just a little longer?’
Fleur flashed him a look over her shoulder. ‘Absolutely not. We were just practising.’ The door shut and they could hear Orion laughing. ‘Now, where were we?’
‘Right about here,’ Jasper murmured, picking up their kiss where they’d left off.
‘You can tell a lot about a man by how he kisses,’ Fleur whispered.
‘And what can you tell about me?’
‘That you’re the one.’ She’d come through grief and guilt, anger and resentment to arrive here, to be here with this man. ‘What does my kiss tell you about me?’
‘That you are worth waiting for.’ He hoisted her up on the flat surface of a cabinet built into the wall.
‘We’re going to be late.’ She laughed.
‘Not to worry. They can’t start without with us.’