Chapter 55
Luci
16 Weeks Pregnant
T he mirror before me shows my body and how it’s changing. I’m officially past the ‘Is she fat or pregnant?’ phase as of a few weeks ago. Morning sickness has thankfully passed and most days I have a ton of energy. The only issue is that I’m constantly horny. Quinn said it’s normal, but all I can think about in the morning, mid-day, at night, and soon to be in the shower, is Alessandro. His touch, the things he’s taught me, the way he makes me fall apart underneath him . . . and on top of him.
Someone knocks on the bathroom door as I’m about to step into the shower. I whine, upset that someone is there and that it’s delaying my private time. The thought of ignoring whoever it is crosses my mind. Because I'm a people pleaser, I put aside my needs for a few more minutes.
“Who is it?” The moment those words escape my lips, I regret answering to whoever is at my door.
“It’s me, Luci Girl. Will you let me come in?” My relationship with Mamma has improved since our walk several weeks ago. She’s been more supportive of my needs in this pregnancy. It would be counterproductive to deny her at this point.
“Um, yeah. Let me grab a towel first.” I open the door and notice her neutral expression, which only means one thing. She has something to say and I won’t like it, but she’ll say it anyway.
“So.” A typical way Mamma starts any uncomfortable conversation as we cross the hallway into the bedroom I’ve been staying in. “We need to talk about sleeping arrangements. Elio mentioned moving into his room and turning this space into a nursery a few weeks ago. We need to re-address that. In a few weeks, you’ll be halfway into your pregnancy and it’ll be fun to make a nursery for your baby. We need to move the bed to make room for a crib and other nursery furniture. Will you consider moving into Elio’s bedroom?”
Now I really regret not ignoring Mamma. Her tone in gentle, but the idea of leaving the bed I’ve been sleeping in alone is overwhelming. I could tell her some stupid answer instead of the truth, but Mamma sees right through that. I guess the truth is. “I’m not comfortable sharing a bed with Elio. And no one said I have to make this room into a nursery just for my baby. Plenty of people sleep in the same room with their babies. I planned to have my baby close to me after they're born. That way it’ll be easier to get up for feedings. What’s wrong with that? Also, I get hot while I sleep.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting your baby close to you. It’s also important for Elio to be close by too. He wants to raise this baby with you. We both know he will get up in the middle of the night to grab her and put her back down after she’s done eating. That can only happen if you two are sharing a bedroom. And you’ve always been a warm sleeper.”
This conversation sucks. Should I change the subject? Probably not. Will I? Absolutely. “Why is everyone convinced I’m having a girl? I wouldn’t care either way and I understand Nonna mentions the old wives’ tales, but you and Elio too? That I didn’t expect.”
She laughs before continuing. “They’re fun to look at. I’m not entirely sure if I believe them. Between you and me, I hope you have a girl. I enjoyed raising you and always hoped you’d be able to raise a daughter of your own. Of course, I hoped you’d be married and not have a baby out of wedlock, but what’s done is done.” Don’t roll your eyes, Luci. Don’t. Roll. Your. Eyes. What’s a conversation with Mamma without some sort of guilt trip? She must sense the tension and wrap up what she came in to say.
“Promise me you’ll at least think about it? I’d hate for you to push away Elio when he’s such an amazing man with so much love to give you.”
I nod my head in agreement, even though I know what my answer is going to be. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s my Luci Girl. We can finish this conversation later. I need to help Nonna with dinner prep.” The door hinges squeak as the door closes when Mamma leaves the room. I wait about a second and a half until I whip the door open, bolting across the hall and into the shower. I need to release this tension.
The shower runs hot as I step in, almost hissing until I get used to the temperature. I let the water run over my whole body, relaxing my muscles before I close my eyes, letting my mind focus on the fantasy. I’ve thought about every memory surrounding my short time with Alessandro, and I let myself think of what could be. What I want it to be.
The priest has officially announced Alessandro and I as man and wife. Immediately he grabs my hand, rushing away with me to the closest room, exactly what El said would happen. I fumble for a light switch before Alessandro grabs my wrist, his warm breath next to my ear as he whispers.
My eyes close as my hand grazes down, shivering as my thumb grazes across my sensitive nipples.
“No. I want you to focus on my every touch.” He caresses his fingers gently over my arm, causing my skin to shiver and my nipples to pebble. A deep chuckle escapes his mouth, both of us knowing what that shiver means. “Exactly.”
I bring my fingers through my slit, collecting evidence of my arousal to use as lube and circle light touches around my clit.
As he goes to grab the back of my head to crash his mouth into mine, I place my hand on his chest, stopping him. I guess we’re doing this now. “Alessandro, I have something to tell you.”
“Whatever it is, I’m sure can wait. Now let me fuck my wife.”
Small kisses go across my jaw and down my neck before I blurt it out with no thought. “Alessandro, I’m pregnant.” And bingo, that stops him.
I stop my motions, waiting to see what Alessandro would say, even though it’s my dream, my fantasy.
If the lights were on, I’m sure I’d see the shock on his face. “What did you say?”
“I took a test last night. It was positive.”
“Holy shit.” The second he processes the information he disappears under my dress. He kisses up my leg, looping his hand under my garter to hike one of my legs over his shoulder. His kisses slow down, torturing me until he reaches my clit.
I mimic my touches with what I imagine him doing to my body the best I can. My left hand pinching my nipple, my right hand touching myself. I have two fingers dipping in and out of me as the palm of my hand presses firm circles around my hot bundle of nerves.
“Touch your breasts, Luciana Leone. Play with the nipples that will nourish our baby one day.” I do what he tells me to as he latches onto my clit with his mouth, pressing two fingers inside of me, pumping as I drench his hand and face. What can’t be more than two minutes pass before I’m coming for him. A deep, chest-filled groan appears in the dark space before he comes out from under my dress. He wraps the length of my hair around his fist, cranking my head back so my lips are centimeters from touching his.
“You taste different. Sweeter. I can’t wait to see how your body changes as you swell with my heir.”
His imaginary words are my downfall as I move my free hand from my breast up against my mouth and continue firm circles around my clit. I don’t move my hand until I come down from the high of my imagination. My hand caresses against my bump and my breasts as I continue to note the differences in my body. Along with my clit and nipples being more sensitive, I’ve noticed the swell of my stomach, the heightened weight in my breasts, and the deepening color of my nipples. Before I can let insecurity consume me, another knock comes on my bathroom door, this time it’s Nonna.
“Luci? Are you okay? Other people need the hot water.” Have I been in here that long?
“Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine I’ll be right out.” I shut off the shower but don’t step out until I hear Nonna’s footsteps leave down the hall. A sudden rush of emotion floods my system and I run across the hall into the bedroom before breaking down. The longer I go in this pregnancy the more I lose hope that Alessandro will ever find me. No, find us. Should I even try to leave anymore? Leaving alone, visibly pregnant in a state I don’t know, with no way of getting back to Pennsylvania is a gamble. What’s the point of going back to him if I’ve put both of us in danger? It may be too risky for me to leave on my own, but I can still hope that Alessandro will find me. It’s that hope that keeps me going day after day.
I rub my bump, talking to my baby, as I repeat the same words I’ve already said.
“I promise we will get back to your papa.”