Chapter 57
Luci
20 Weeks Pregnant
“ T his week your baby is about the size of an artichoke. How cool is that? If you haven’t already, you may start to feel an odd sensation in your stomach, that’s your baby moving. You may have moments of high energy and moments of extreme exhaustion and that’s okay. Listen to your body and relax when you need to. Other than that, you’re measuring perfectly and your levels are amazing. You’re totally on track for the at-home birth you want. Do you have any questions for me?” My favorite part about appointments with Quinn is that I have these appointments by myself, even if that means my family is lined up outside the room.
“Well . . . ” I hesitate while fidgeting with my necklace, knowing this isn’t out of vanity but out of insecurity. Since we’re alone, it’s okay to ask this. At least that’s what I tell myself. “What can I do about stretch marks? I mean, I know it’s fairly common for many women, and they already existed pre-pregnancy, but I don’t want dark ones. You know?”
She lets out a small laugh as she rests her hand on mine when she answers. “I know what you mean. You’re right, it is normal and I’ll tell you this. Between eighty and ninety percent of pregnant women will get stretch marks. My best advice I can give you is hydration, both inner and outer. Drink plenty of water and get thick body lotion to use as much as you need for both stretch marks and itchiness. You can do that by yourself or have Elio help you. Some parents use it as a method to bond, both with their baby and as a couple.” She doesn’t know that Elio isn’t my baby’s father, another way of keeping Alessandro from finding us.
She packs up her bag as we finish up our appointment. When she stands, I hear several sets of feet scatter away from the door. My family and Elio think they’re sneaky. I know they’ve always waited outside the room, hoping to hear flashes of our conversation.
Elio scares me when I turn around after walking Quinn out. “Elio! What are you doing? You have to stop sneaking up on me.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted to try to catch Quinn before she left to talk as a family. Can you catch me up? How are things going with you? Is everything okay? How’s our baby?” The farther along in this pregnancy I go, the more his doting sweetness annoys me. Why does he have to be so sweet?
“Everything fine. That weird stomach thing I’ve had the last few days may be the baby moving, and it’s the size of an artichoke, even though I’m convinced it has to be bigger than that. And she said I can put some thick body lotion on my belly to help with stretch marks.” Out of everything, the changes in my body have been the hardest. I’ve never been ‘popular girl’ skinny and being pregnant has only heightened my insecurities about certain areas of my body. Mamma, of course, has made subtle comments about how she was all belly when she was pregnant. It’s her way of subtly saying what she wants to say without voicing her exact words.
While stuck in my head I miss Elio’s reaction to me telling him my baby may be moving. I stiffen when he grabs my belly, obviously overwhelmed by the news. “Really? Moving? Our baby’s moving?”
I’m exhausted, unable to fight with him anymore. Mentally drained is a better way to describe it. This is not our baby. This is my baby with Alessandro, even if he never meets our baby.
Nonna and Mamma thankfully come in to save the day before Elio has more time to talk about what’s going on with my baby.
“Ciao dolce ragazza, do you want to go on a walk with us? The snow has melted, and it’s sunny.” Nonna sees the smile on my face and wraps me in a coat and scarf. According to Nonna, scarves are the solution to not getting sick.
The fresh air on our walk gives me a burst of energy I wasn’t expecting. Even though I hate being stuck here, the fresh, unpolluted air smells clean and raw. It makes me realize this is how air is supposed to smell. I wonder if Alessandro would buy a second property outside of Philadelphia for us, for our family as a getaway from the world. My thumb brushes across my ring finger, still not used to the odd feeling of the engagement ring Alessandro gave me missing.
Mamma, Nonna, and I stop when we notice the dark SUV in Elio’s driveway. We all hesitate, knowing that other than the five of us and Quinn, no one would come down into the driveway unless it’s the delivery man. When I step forward a grasp on my wrist stops me in my path.
“Luci, something isn’t right. We need to hide. Elio has the barn over there. Let’s go.” I listen to Nonna, turning to head away from Elio’s house and the potential danger to my baby. Gunshots ring out of the house and Mamma and Nonna scream before bolting in the direction of the house.
“Papa!”
“Aldo!”
They’re almost to the house before I run after them. Holy crap running is exhausting. We stop in the doorway, and Nonna and Mamma stand in front of me. All I see is Elio’s panicked face, Nonno’s stoic stance, and Mamma and Nonna blocking the body attached to the arms that point guns at Elio and Nonno.
“Where the fuck is she!” My heart skips a beat at that voice. His voice.
I break through Nonna and Mamma before they have time to stop me and freeze at the sight of him. The veins in his forearms are pulsing and his eyes are darker than I’d ever seen him. He’s as dangerous as he is handsome and my voice gets caught in my throat for a second. Eventually, I’m able to blurt out the only words I’ve been hoping to speak for the last few months.
“You found me.”