Chapter 67
Caterina
My Luci Girl, I’ve taken a step back to word this letter carefully. I don’t want to come off as cold as your nonno, but I cannot be as compassionate as we both know your nonna will be. All we want is the best for you. I can think of situations in your life where we have been pivotal people in decisions you’ve made, practically forcing you to make those decisions. All I could have hoped for is that you would have realized all of this has been for you. I brought you into this world, the perfect baby you were, being raised without a papa. I keep thinking that all of this mess is my fault because of that. We risked everything when we came for you and gave up everything to keep you safe, even after finding out you’re pregnant. I cannot help but think that you didn’t keep that in mind when you made the decision you did. I’ve spent too much time thinking of the mistakes I made as your mamma that may have led to this moment. Was I too hard on you? Was I not hard enough on you? Did growing up without a papa make it that you chose Alessandro over Elio? Did all the secrets our family kept make you choose a man who’s not worthy of you? Elio is a good man and I cannot pretend that Alessandro deserves you. He hurt you Luciana, and meant to hurt your nonno. Even writing his name feels like a cigarette burning my skin. Do you remember when I was willing to marry him if it kept you away from this world? I would offer that again if I knew it would make a difference. I cannot change what decision you’ve made, but I hope that you realize that your family has been right this whole time. I’ll pray every night that the next I hear about you isn’t that Alessandro did something else to hurt you. Tutto il mio amore, Mamma