Chapter 29
SAWYER
“W hat just happened?” Sitting Riley on a chair, I crouch down in front of her, taking both her hands in mine when I see them shaking.
“I don’t know.” She sounds scared as she shakes her head back at me. “I don’t know anything about how I’m feeling anymore. One second I’m angry, then I’m—” She stops talking and her cheeks flush red. “Jesus, Sawyer, I’m a mess. Everyone out there saw what I just did.”
“Don’t worry about them. Are you okay? You're shaking.”
“Why were you with her? Are you and her a thing now?” she asks, looking up at me with tear-swollen eyes.
“Me and Beth?” I try not to laugh. “I was just givin’ her a ride cause she ran outta gas.”
“Fuck.” She palms her forehead and curses herself. “I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry. I saw you together and–” She cuts herself off again, and it drives me crazy because I wanna hear her say the words.
“You're not an idiot, you're pregnant. Hormone surges are normal,” I try to reassure her.
“Tell that to your truck.” She manages a tiny smile, and it makes everything in the world seem right again.
“Fuck the truck, it doens’t matter. What matters is that you’re okay. You have to try and keep yourself calm.”
“How can I be okay, Sawyer? I just lost it in front of the whole town. I must have looked like a psychopath out there.”
“In my opinion, you looked kinda hot.” I stroke my thumb over hers, and when she looks as if she’s about to cry again, I decide she needs me to take control. “Listen, there’s nothing going on between me and Beth. I told ya before, my priority is you.”
“But that’s not fair, I can’t expect that of you. What I just did was–”
“You don’t expect it, you’ve told me countless times you don’t want it,” I remind her, even though the words sting. “But ya know me, I never listen.”
“You gotta admit, I did overreact a little.” Her lips twitch into a smirk, and it feels so good to feel close to her again that I’d take a hit with that crowbar myself, to keep her here.
“Maybe, but while you're cooking my baby in there, you get to act however you want.” I take the fact that she doesn’t correct me to say ‘her’ baby as a huge step forward.
“I feel like I’m going crazy, Sawyer,” she admits, looking all pretty and vulnerable.
“You're not going crazy, you're growing a person. That’s a big deal.”
“You're bleeding.” She wipes away her tears and when her hand touches my lips and I see my blood on her fingertips, it gets my cock hard.
“You must have caught me good with that right hook while I was trying to calm ya down out there,” I admit, still smiling at her. Being with her again distracted me so much I didn’t even notice, and although I hate that she’s suffering, I can’t help liking the thought of her being jealous.
“I’m a terrible person.” She starts to turn serious again, and I can’t let that happen. ‘Serious Riley’ pushes me away.
“You're not a bad person, you’re just having a bad day. Don’t worry about the truck or my lip. Don’t worry about the folk out there, either. You got something far more important to focus on.” I look down between us, and when I notice that her shirt isn't tucked in as tight as it usually is, I smile.
“You’ve started to show, ain’t ya?” I look up at her.
“Just a little, nothing too noticeable.” She shrugs, wiping her eyes some more.
“Show me.” I let my hand slip from hers so I can stroke the outside of her leg. It’s a risk, given how quickly her feelings can change, but I need to keep us connected.
“Sawyer, it really is nothing. You probably won’t even notice the difference.” She looks nervous.
“Show me anyway.” I tilt my head and speak in the tone that reminds her that she likes doing as I say. It’s been a while since she let me command her, and I’ll bet she’s missing it just as much as I am.
She surprises me when she stands up in front of me, placing that sweet pussy right in my face as she unbuckles her belt, and opens the front of her work pants then, lifting her shirt higher up her stomach, she reveals the tiny, little bump that’s popped out across her lower stomach.
“See what I mean? It’s nothing.” She places her hand over it self-consciously, and I take her wrist and move it away.
“It ain’t nothin’.” I look up at her as I use both my hands to cover it. “It’s everything.” I press my lips against her skin, waiting for her to push me away or tell me to stop, but instead her body seems to sag with relief. She closes her eyes as I press more kisses across her neat, little tummy, and the way she moans assures me that she’s enjoying it.
“You like that?” I ask, sensing that this is something she’s been craving. Maybe her outburst didn’t just come from jealousy. Sexual frustration can be a thing during pregnancy, I read all about it.
“I shouldn’t.” She looks down at me as more tears fill her eyes.
“That’s not what I asked,” I whisper against her skin, as I kiss along the waistline of her panties.
“Sawyer, we’re just going round in circles, we’re hurting each other. Us doing this now won’t change anything,” she warns me.
“It’d make you feel better.” I slide my nose across her stomach and breathe her in. I had no idea that knowing someone is carrying your kid could be so fuckin’ hot.
“We can’t.” She quickly drags herself away from me and buckles up her pants.
“Sure, we can, we just need to be clear on what this is.” I stand up. “You obviously feel as if there's something you're lacking, and I can give you that.”
“You're crazy.” She laughs at me.
“I’ll take most things, darlin’, but I won’t take crazy from a woman who just smashed up my truck because I gave Beth Delaney a ride.” My teasing her seems to make her loosen up a little. “Come on, when you were sick, I brought you muffins. When you said you liked anchovies, I brought every tin the Walkers stocked. Look at this like that.” I put it simply.
“This is nothing like a muffin, Sawyer. This is sex, and you know how complicated that makes things. It’s not up to you to make all this easier on me, Sawyer. That was never part of the deal. It’s kind and it’s thoughtful but–”
“Did it never occur to you that I might be being selfish?” I interrupt her. “Riley, I ain’t no fuckin’ saint, and there are days when I kinda fuckin’ hate you for shutting me out, but what we have together is good and if it’s gonna help make all this easier on you, then you should let me play my part.”
“I’m not doing this again, Sawyer. I can’t offer you any more than what we agreed, and us having sex together is great at the time, but it makes things so much harder. Thank you for understanding about the truck, let me know what I owe for all the damages.” She steps closer and presses a kiss against my cheek. The fact that she lingers for so long tells me she doesn’t want to leave, but I have to let her. We’re in this situation because I manipulated her. I’m the fucking bad guy here.
She starts walking toward the door, and the desperation inside me takes over.
“Riley!” I call after her, and when she turns back around, she almost looks relieved. “You remember how it used to feel, that relief we get when we forget all the world and come together?” She bites her lip as she nods her head. “We can have that again. I won’t expect anything more from you. I just want to be the person who makes you feel better.” Her face is blank as she turns away from me, but instead of walking out the door like I expect her to, she pulls one of the bolts across to lock it.