Chapter XVIII
Demi
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Cassie asked, carrying a tray of s’mores stuff out to the deck of our cabin into the cool night air. Well, technically, it was just my cabin, because no one knew Cassie was staying with me. You know, except Roman, the pebble-throwing idiot.
I’d asked all the other women cast members if they wanted to come over for a little late-night get-together after another day of more photo shoots and a “getting to know you” brunch.
But how do you really get to know anyone when a camera is always on you?
It meant them all sneaking out, but they’d all enthusiastically agreed.
“I’m not sure about anything anymore.”
Especially after Roman’s midnight visit.
I was sure it was another trick. Well, at least mostly sure.
My goddess had other ideas. Ideas like asking him to crawl through the window and come inside.
Yeah, I’d vetoed that one. I didn’t care how good he looked in his tight jeans and T-shirt under the moonlight.
Okay, so maybe my heart had fluttered. Why it was choosing to come to life around him, I had no idea.
Don’t get me wrong—it was still mostly dormant.
But his question last night. Did I care if people found love? It had pierced my soul. It made me think. Did I? Or did I care more about protecting them from love? About my guide and rules? Was that the kind of goddess or person I wanted to be?
It wasn’t the only quandary Roman had given me.
What he’d said about the goddess side of me not being able to lie freaked me out.
That couldn’t be true, could it? Maybe I should have asked Cassie, but she would definitely have questions.
Questions that would lead to me admitting that I used to be in love with Roman and that someone, okay my divine self, swore we were soulmates and we were going to have little demi-babies together.
I’d even named them. Yep, Hallie, Calliope, and Wilder were going to be the cutest kids ever.
Seriously, I needed to quit thinking about it, but it was all I could think of. Well, that and not making a fool of myself in front of the entire world, on top of wondering if I was ruining said world. Basically, I was a wreck inside.
That’s why I blurted as soon as I set down the tray of goodies near the built-in firepit on the deck, “Cassie, can our goddess sides lie to us?”
Cassie, already eating a piece of chocolate, paused mid-chew, the chocolate melting on her tongue buying her time.
“Lie to us?” she echoed, eyebrows lifting.
“Yeah. Is that possible?”
I lowered myself onto the stone bench.
Cassie sat beside me, her expression unreadable.
“No,” she said. “If you haven’t noticed, gods and goddesses love being right. Especially when it comes to their domains. It’s kind of the point of being divine.”
Not good news.
Like, awful.
“But . . . we’re only demigoddesses,” I said. “Maybe it’s different for us. Like we’re only half all-knowing.”
Cassie nudged me, laughing. “Do you want to tell me what this is about?”
I nibbled my lip. “Not really.”
“But you’re going to anyway,” she said. It was playful on the surface, but I heard the No way you’re getting out of this beneath it.
Afraid of that, I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them, turning toward Cassie, who was already tuned in.
I let the flames warm me, hoping they’d burn away the part of the story I didn’t want to tell. But there was no skirting the Roman part.
I let out a heavy breath.
“You know I locked my heart,” I said, voice low. “But there was . . . a little more to it. Okay, maybe a lot more. But promise me if I tell you this, you will find a way to make it not true. Please,” I begged.
“Demi, you know I can’t promise that. Just tell me, and if I can, I’ll find a way to hex whatever it is.”
“Oh, you’ve already hexed and poisoned him.”
Her jaw dropped.
“This is about Roman? I knew there was something weird between the two of you. Spill the tea.”
I scrunched my face and squinted my eyes. “It’s so mortifying, and it can’t be true. I have proof.”
Cassie leaned in as if she were about to hear the juiciest prophecy of the century.
“Proof?” she whispered. “Like scrolls and sacred texts? Or Instagram DMs and receipts?”
“Ha ha.”
“I thought it was funny. But seriously, what are you talking about here? And what does this have to do with Roman?”
With eyes squeezed shut, I whispered, “When I was sixteen, my goddess whispered that Roman was my soulmate.”
Cassie gasped the gaspiest of gasps.
“Oh. My. Mount Olympus.”
I peeked my eyes open.
Cassie was staring at me, mouth wide, like I’d just told her I was secretly the Oracle of Delphi.
I think I might’ve permanently stunned her.
“I know,” I said quickly. “It’s ridiculous. And obviously untrue. But I figured that out too late. You know, after I fell in love with him. Or as much as you can be in love at that age.”
I pulled my knees tighter to my chest.
“It devastated me when I realized that he would not be returning my feelings. And after everything—losing my mom, finding out I was a demigoddess—I couldn’t take one more heartbreak. So I locked my heart.”
“But . . .” Cassie hesitated. “How do you know it’s not true? How do you know he’s not your soulmate?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I said, too fast. “For one, we practically hate each other. And most importantly—my heart is still locked. If he were really my soulmate, he would’ve unlocked it by now. Right?”
Please tell me I’m right.
Cassie tapped her lips with her finger. “Hmm. Possibly. It’s just . . . I’ve never heard of a goddess lying to herself. Why would she?”
I let my knees drop and grabbed Cassie’s hands, gripping them like they were my only hope.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “But she had to have lied. Because if she didn’t . . .” My voice hitched. “If she didn’t, I’m doomed. My heart will stay locked. I’ll never fall in love. And that means I’ll have to live in the mortal world—not knowing who I am. Not really.”
“Or”—Cassie cleared her throat—“maybe Roman will figure out how not to be a douchebag and unlock your heart and you’ll live happily ever after.”
“I don’t know that he’s a total douchebag,” I said, reluctantly.
I mean, the man had sported a breadstick mustache for his daughter. Everyone on his crew seemed to revere him. And I couldn’t imagine Melissa—his mom—raising a jerk.
“But regardless,” I added, “he can’t be my soulmate. Why send me on this quest if it was Roman all along? Why make me a cast member on his show? And from the way my dad described it, when he met my mom, his heart unlocked instantly.”
Cassie nodded. “Those are fair points. But I still don’t get why your goddess would lie to you.”
“Maybe something went wrong when I was born,” I whispered. “Or maybe she hates me for holding back my gifts.”
Cassie frowned, thoughtful. “I don’t know. I mean, our divinity is a part of us. But I’ll see if I can do some research. There has to be a reason.”
“Okay, thank you.” I threw my arms around her, trying to feel a shred of hope that I wasn’t destined to be alone and emotionally stunted for the rest of my life because I’d made a horrible mistake at seventeen.
“But . . . Demi . . .” Cassie’s voice softened. “There’s a chance you might have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t a lie.”
Uh, what? A statement like that should have come with dramatic music—low strings, ominous drums, something that told the audience a dreadful plot twist was on the horizon.
But I didn’t have time to process it. Or hyperventilate. Because our “bestie” crew for the summer appeared out of the dark, laughing and waving like we hadn’t just been discussing my mythical doom.
“Hey, ladies!” Brinley shouted, arms full of blankets and snacks, leading the group of women.
I sat up and straightened out my pink flannel pajama top.
Cassie had conjured me a new wardrobe full of pastels and bright colors.
It felt more like me. At least I thought so.
I still wasn’t sure who I was. But for now, I was faking being a best friend and cheerleader.
Maybe if I faked it enough, the real me would appear.
But I knew I would never really be myself without my heart.
And the thought that it really was Roman who was supposed to unlock it? I couldn’t deal with that. At least not tonight.
I mean, I’d signed a contract. A very clear, very binding contract that said I wouldn’t fraternize with any members of the crew. And I was pretty sure that included the host of the show.
Not to say I hadn’t broken a bunch of other rules, but that was beside the point. Roman and I, we just couldn’t be.
I plastered on a fake smile and waved. “Hello, girls!”
Cassie snickered beside me, fully aware that just days ago I would’ve chosen to muck out Pegasus’s stall over playing happy camper.
Brinley, Maggie, Paloma, and Jessica giggled and ran up the deck stairs, apparently accepting that Cassie was there first. We’d really sold the whole BFF-at-first-sight thing.
“Let’s get this party started,” Paloma purred in her sultry Spanish accent.
Every woman wore pajamas, from leopard print to polka dots and stripes.
Each beamed, thrilled to be there. It reminded me that I had to do more than play a part.
I’d started this so-called club, which meant these women saw me as their ringleader and friend.
So I had to be a friend. I could do that. Right?
A lot of hugging ensued before everyone settled around the firepit, its flames flickering in reds and oranges, offering not just light but warmth.
I got sandwiched between Cassie and Maggie, the quietest woman in the group. She tucked a strand of short brown hair behind her ear, her Lucy Hale vibe understated but unmistakable.